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Chip
6 Posts |
 Posted - 06/06/2007 : 18:37:20
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Hey guys,
I'm relatively new, I posted my story on basil's RSI thing a while back.
I'd say I'm about 75% recovered, but I'm having a hard time shaking the last 25%, just because I'm lazy and hoping it will go away on its own.
I know I have a very repressive personality, and I was able to go through a lot of issues, which had helped me to heal so much so quickly. However, the most stressful time in my life WAS the last three months, and I was constantly depressed, and had panic attacks because I was so convinced that I was developing fibromyalgia, and that my condition would steadily get worse and I had lost all hope whatsoever. I was angry at life, angry at myself, terrified, guilty (because I was subjecting my family to so much hardship, I knew they couldn't stand seeing me the way I was), and I felt helpless. However, all of those emotions came BECAUSE of the pain. There were periods were I stayed strong, and tried to repress the fear and the anxiety to show my family that I was doing okay, but inside I was falling apart.
The question I had is this: is it possible some of the repressed emotions that are STILL causing me pain were from that period when I was in pain? Do I have to relive those emotions? Or does the fact that I am so goddamn happy right now that I KNOW I'm going to be better - does that immediately dissolve those fears associated with the pain?
I guess another way to ask the question is: For someone who has made a full recovery - did you have to experience the scary emotions that you may have repressed while you were in pain, the emotions that were related to the pain and the anguish the pain caused?
Anyway, on a funny note, I think I am also repressing my positive emotions. Everytime I realize that I'm going to be better, I just burst into uncontrollable tears of joy. I wonder if I let all of that out, maybe I'll just get better!
So yeah, kind of a weird question, but wondering if anyone had an opinion on it.
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electraglideman
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 19:06:45
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| Chip, congrads on your 75% recovery. Journal about anything but the pain. |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 20:09:52
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Hey Chip,
Good progress. I have just one thing to say: JUST MOVE ON!
You don't have to figure it all out. The last 25% will just come on its own in its own time. Just keep on having a better life every day and don't surpress your current emotions, feel them when they happen in the now, and any old baggage (that you really don't need to rehash) will simply get left in the dust.
Take care, -Stryder |
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stanfr
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2007 : 21:55:42
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Ill second what stryder just said; ive added a barrage of positive thoughts to my arsenal and i think it's really helping me so far.
I will say this; it sounds to me that you were not so much "repressing" but "supressing" that fear/anxiety etc. You were concious of it, which is why you said you were 'falling apart'. Ive come to learn to not underestimate the strength of your truly repressed emotions--that rage/fear/anxiety inside can be worse than what you might think the TMS symptoms are doing to you. I'm polishing off a re-read of a journal i kept 20+ years ago, and when i first read it, it shocked me what i was saying back then. But you can't change the past, only learn from it and strive to adapt and make better decisions. Take care! |
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LadyBug
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2007 : 12:22:24
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Hi Chip ~ I could have written that second paragraph myself, substitute 3 years for 3 months. I have wondered the same thing. How much of this rage is centered on being in pain for no obvious reason?
It is said to realize it and learn from the knowledge and move on. How do I move on from missing 3 years of my life? I am beyond angry. I have things to offer my family and my community and have been cloistered here in my house, unable to move. It makes me giddy too, to just imagine that I might be finding my way out of this abyss. The reality of it about brings me to tears too, whenever I contimplate it.
Here is to us both.... hopefully climbing out. Hang in there.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished |
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basil
52 Posts |
Posted - 06/10/2007 : 09:18:48
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| Glad your making progress Chip, sounds like your nearly there :)I can identify with your story and it gives me hope. I can't help with your final recovery because I am still coming to terms with all of this. Good luck |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 06/10/2007 : 10:33:20
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Chip
I think some sessions of pyschotherapy, alomg with reading the treatment chapter of "The Divided Mind" may be of great assistance to you. Don't get lazy. Recovery requires real work for most of us.
*******
Sarno-ize it!
Read chapter 4 of Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind." It's all you need to know in order to recover. |
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Question about recovery
