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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 04/18/2007 : 11:35:11
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Dear Friends,
I had planned on taking a longer break then this but I have been going through something awful since last Friday..My Border Collie/Beagle mix, KC, is very sick..We had to rush him to the 24 hour emergency veternarian hospital Friday night..He has pancreatitis and it is serious..He has been in hospital since Friday and has an appointment with an internal specialist for another ultrasound tomorrow morning..He is traumatized physical, mentally and emotionally..
KC is 8 or 9 years old and was in perfect health, or so we thought..This can come from being given fatty human food like steak, chicken skin, table scraps...We do our best not to and he is given the highest quality dog food..I have caught my roomie/bro sneaking him some food when we made a commitment not to anymore..This is surely a source of rage for me..I also gave some food because I couldn't resist those eyes, but I limited it..We are both blamming ourselves and the guilt is enormous..Of course if we knew this could happen we never would have given him a morsel of human food..
This has been a huge drain financially as well..My roommate/surrogate brother has been funding most of it because I could not..I will pay him back in the future when my art hopefully goes to a higher level from the magazine/airline coverage..The money part is the least of our worries, we want our baby well again..
When KC was in critical condition Friday night I was hyper-ventialting, gagging and almost passed out seeing him and hearing him in pain..THis is every bit as bad as when I went through losing my parents to cancer 17 yrs ago..(I know the fellow dog lovers will understand this..) I do not have human children..KC and Jody, my basset are my children and that is why I was in so much conflict when i spent 4 months in NYC over the holidays with my boyfriend singing in the city..This summer i was going to go for 2 months, now if KC is not better completely, I am not going at all..If he is totally well, I will go for only one month..
I have decided (actually before this trauma) that I would not be giving up my dogs for anyone, ever..no matter how in love I am..THey are my kids and therefore my complete responsibility no matter what..THey love living here w/ me and my roommate who is like my brother and is their dad..They would be fine with him, but my basset is very bonded to me..So that decision is made and I told my boyfriend about it..He is allergic to dogs, some of you remember this dilemma from a few months ago..He and I will have to live apart as long as I have my dogs..or until his allergies get better somehow..I am rambling, due to the stress of it all..This is so heartbreaking..
For those who believe in prayer, please pray number one for KC's healing, and then for myself, my roommate and my other dog Jody, who is so upset about her brother being sick and not here, that she is not eating, except by being hand fed..Physically she is fine, it is all emotional..
Naturally the TMS is acting up..mostly in my neck, very tight, and some arm pain..Last night when i found out the blood work wasn't good I got chest pains too...
Loving animals is the biggest part of who I am and why I want to go far with my art and music careers..The reason is then I can do more then volunteer for the animal rights causes, I can have funds to make some changes as well..Seeing my own baby suffer like this and not knowing the final outcome is destroying me..If only I could explain it to him in dog language..This is so devastating to watch that part of me is wondering if I would be better off, once both dogs are in doggie heaven, never having dogs again..
If anyone has any words of encouragement, I would very much appreciate it..Again, I had no intention of coming on the board for several months..But I just need all the support during this time that I can get..Thank you for listening..I tried to edit this a little shorter, I am just besides myself with fear, worry and sadness right now..
God bless and hope you are all doing better,
Karen |
Edited by - Singer_Artist on 04/18/2007 12:27:14 |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 11:48:56
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Karen, my thoughts are with you. I used to have horses and we had to have one of them put to sleep. It was absolutely heartbreaking. They are like family.
All I can advise is that you think positive. He may turn out to be absolutely fine and it's best not to think of the worst possible outcome. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 11:57:06
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| Thank you, Gemma Louise..I am trying to think positively and praying alot..I don't let KC see me upset because I know that wouldn't be good for his healing, but I fall apart every time I have to leave him in the hospital and I hear his crys..I am sorry to hear about your horse, that must have been horrible..I love horses too..I am going to volunteer when KC is well at a horse rescue ranch soon..They are incredible animals as well.. |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 12:21:05
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Yeah, I don't ride anymore unfortunately. Wouldn't be able to afford to now I've left home. I used to have them as a child/teenager when my mum and dad paid for everything! They are very intelligent animals and just being around them makes you feel good and positive. Your plan to go a rescue ranch sounds great, I think it would be really good for you and you could gain a lot of satisfaction from doing it.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 12:30:39
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| Absolutely Gemma Louise..I am looking forward to it..I will be going to help them wash the horses as well..I have done horse babysitting b4 too..They are very intelligent and you really feel something special looking into their eyes..I usually bring my KC and Jody out to the desert here in Vegas to see the horses..They think that they are just big doggies..I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the vet to call and tell me if the specialist can fit KC into their schedule today..I just don't want him to have to have surgery, that can be dangerous and so painful..he is already suffering so much..This truly is one of the worst things I have ever gone through..If only I could explain to him what is going on..I am so afraid he doesn't understand and thinks he is being punished or something..He is such an amazing dog..so gentle and kind, everyone loves him.. |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 13:10:49
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| Well I have my fingers crossed for you. I hope everything turns out ok. I'm sure he won't think he is being punished. You are probably far more worried than he is! Just try to be strong and positive...I know it isn't easy. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 13:25:27
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| Thank you sweetie..Soo appreciate your kindness...I am definitely a very over protective dog mom...I will be on pins and needles til we get the results from the internist tomorrow from the ultrasound they will be doing..Trying so hard to relax my neck muscles but it's nearly impossible.. |
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shawnsmith
Czech Republic
2048 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 13:56:11
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The Invisible Leash
Shawn Smith- July 11, 2006
I see them over there in the distance
The two companions
Not knowing for sure who is pet and who is master
Does it really matter?
A leash holds them together
They run through the field by the river
The man donning a fuzzy grey beard
The dog wearing a furry black coat with wisps of white here and there
Together they satisfy each other's needs
Best friends linked together by an invisible leash
When I was a boy I had a dog
She was my constant companion, my best friend
I never placed her on a leash, she ran freely where she pleased
She could have ran away but she remained by my side
She died in my arms when I was 11 years old
I cried for days
Now, 31 years later, the loss still affects me
There is an unspoken bond between a boy and his dog
While the bones decayed long ago in the cold dark ground
The love that binds them together continues to live on
The invisible leash ensures that they will always be together
*************
Sarno-ize it!
************* |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 14:02:31
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| Thank you for sharing this beautiful writing, Shawn..I am sitting here crying my eyes out..and I am sure I need to..I so appreciate your caring heart..My dogs have always been there for me when I am sick or depressed, I will do anything I have to to be there for them..I love them more then life itself.. |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 16:12:37
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| Hi Karen, I have had 3 shelties and all have had pancreatitis. I lost the first one because of a poor vet with the wrong diagnosis. I had never seen it before but sadly, now I recognise it. The second sheltie was a rescue and the day I got her, she ate a bunch of french fries I had in the car when I left her for a few minutes. She promptly received treatment and was fine. I really thought she would die, she was really sick. The "current sheltie" Bill also has it. He was hypoglycemic when he was a puppy and became very ill after eating a piece of steak. I have found that if I even let him lick a plate that had meat on it( this might sound disgusting to a non-dog person)he became ill and needed antibiotics. The best thing to do is not weaken--no table scraps. Odly enough, he can tolerate a little dairy, like a bite of cheese or a saucer of milk. Also, white meat of chicken or turkey. I'm not sure if shelties or maybe collies have a predisposition to it. I have rescued alot of dogs and have only had problems with the shelties. It sounds like you got KC there immediately and that is your best hope. I bet he'll be fine. I think the older they get the more sensitive they get, kinda like an allergy. I always have to watch Bill when I have company because he is such a great beggar. My thoughts are with you. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 16:45:38
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Susie,
Thank you so much..I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your baby..My basset got into my roommates Burger King once and when we walked back to the car she managed to be eating his sandwich, unwrapped it and all..
But KC has never had anything except veggies or some chicken, steak, etc..small amounts..Then when the vet told us to not give human food I stopped, but i caught my roommate continuing to sneak it to them behind my back...We tried to stop altogether on numerous occasions but failed..I figured I would give them an occasional treat along w/all the highest quality foods without BHT/BHA that causes cancer in dogs..KC must have had this brewing longer then he let us know..He seemed the picture of health b4 this incident and we had brought our 12 yr old basset to an alternative/holistic vet for her benign tumors which have no begun to shrink..
Ironically we didn't get him tested because we thought he was fine, but he wasn't..The night b4 this all happened, he kept coming into my room and jumping on the bed with me and my basset..Usually he stays in the middle of the house as he wants to protect us all..The following day he wouldn't eat, drink and his tail was between his legs..He vomited his breakfast but we didn't know til that evening..The pancreatitis was confirmed the following day..So it appears we caught it early..although it is possible it was occuring gradually..His lipase/amylase values have not changed enough so they are concerned..But he is able to hold down water now on his own and when they palpate there isn't any pain..We are praying they don't find an absess on the pancreas w/ the tests tomorrow..
He is sleeping home for the first night since he is drinking water and so he can finally get some peaceful rest..If anything goes on we will bring him to the 24 hr. emergency vet immediately..His appointment w/ the specialist is tomorrow morning..He can be off the IV for the night and back on tomorrow..He may have to stay the night at the new place..This is so emotionally taxing on him and it kills me to not be able to commuicate to him why this is all happening...He is the most innocent, sweetest dog I have ever met in my life..We call him "Gandhi" sometimes because he is so selfless..even more then most dogs..
SOrry for going on and on..I am just holding on by a thin thread right now..When I see him, of course, i will act totally happy and upbeat for his benefit..My roommate is a basket case about all this too, so when I freak out, he cannot even be there for me..not his fault, but unfortunate..He has really stepped up to the plate financially with all this and I couldn't be more blessed with a wonderful friend and adopted brother..
I just want KC to be better again..I miss him so much..This is kicking up all kinds of emotions for me and fears about the mortality of life itself..I wish I were born more thick skinned regarding animals and other things in life..I am strong deep inside and a surviver..but the worst thing that could happen to me is happening right now..That is why i came back to the forum sooner then i had planned..This just came out of the blue..When i read or write here, it relaxs me..especially some of the wonderful support on this board..
Hugs,
Karen |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/18/2007 : 21:51:24
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KC amylase and lipase values came down considerably!! We are thrilled...God answers prayers! He still has to go to the veterinary internal medicine specialist tomorrow and be on IV all day..but we are praying/hoping the results will be favorable! He is showing no interest in food yet, but the blood work improved alot! He's not totally out of the woods, but this is great news! He is sleeping home tonight w/ the IV needles still in place in his leg, just in case..If he vomits he'll have to be taken back to the emergency vet..I am sooo relieved..will be feeling even better if the results tomorrow come out good and we are able to try to give him some prescription bland food tomorrow night..He hasn't eaten since Friday morning..Thanx for those who wrote and for your kindness and concern!
Hugs and God bless,
Karen |
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weatherman
USA
184 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 00:43:07
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One of our dogs had pancreatitis also, it was a close call - partly because we didn't realize how serious her condition was - but turned out fine in the end once the vet determined what was wrong. Our two old dogs are almost 12 and 14, one can't see and the other can't hear. People always assume they're outdoor dogs because of breed (golden retriever and lab) but they spend more time on the living room couch than most chihuahuas.
Some politician once said, if you want a friend in Washington DC get a dog.
Good Luck
Weatherman |
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LitaM
Canada
54 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 07:14:31
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Singer Artist,
I am so sorry about your dog. I hope that he is okay. I understand your pain. Almost 10 years ago I had to put my dog Lucky to sleep. He had bit my son who was 18 months at the time, I couldn't trust him, I loved him so much. My son wasn't hurt badly, just a few stitches to his lip. I was pregnant again with my daughter and I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle keeping my son away from Lucky and look after a new born. To make matters worse, I had to keep him at home for 10 days before we put him to sleep just in case he had rabies. How mental is that?? It was the worst 10 days of my life and even now I can cry if I think of him. I knew that my husband and I were his family and he wouldn't of been happy anywhere else and what if he were to bite another child. I understood that he was just afraid and acting like a dog does when afraid, I just couldn't trust him. He was 10 years old, and I was completely devastated. I really feel your pain and I pray that your dog will make it. Just remember that we don't have a choice in life, every living thing eventually dies. I hope that you and your dog have many more happy years ahead. Best Wishes.
Lita |
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Shary
147 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 10:05:09
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Karen, I offer you my heartfelt sympathy. I have two Westies that are getting quite elderly. I worry about them on a daily basis, even as I am trying, for my own sake, to achieve a small degree of emotional distance. I have to keep reminding myself that these precious little guys aren't really mine. Rather they are only on loan to me, and there will come a time when I have to let go.
I send out my prayers and best wishes for you and K.C. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 12:51:42
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Like many guys I suppose, I almost never cry, not really anyway..I mean, I tear up here and there, but that's pretty much it...
When my best buddy Buster the cat died, I wept like a baby. Since that time, I've lost more pets than I care to count. Each death is a wrenching experience...
There's no such thing as a happy ending |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 13:54:55
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Weatherman,
So glad they caught your doggie's pancreatitis early enough..I think we did too, I hope..We were so happy about the lipase/amylase levels coming down yesterday but then this morning he vomited..and he still hasn;t eaten anything..He was crying when vomiting and shaking..Hearing those painful and anxious crys cuts through me like a knife..This has been going on for a week now and it is heart wrenching..We had to take him to a specialist this morning and she is doing an ultrasound..We will hopefully get the results by 3pm..I am on pins and needles worrying about him..She told me that 50 percent of them make it and 50 percent don't...The one good thing she said was that he seems in better shape then most of the other patients w/ pancreatitis..I am just a nervous wreck..out of my mind with worry..But doing my best to keep positive and praying continuously..I love golden's, btw..
Thanks for your help!
Shary,
Thank you for your kind and empathetic words..I just cannot even imagine how I would get through losing one of my babies..I love them more then anything in the world..I sooo appreciate your prayers!
Lita,
What a horrible thing to go through..I am so sorry you had to endure that loss of Lucky..I appreciate very much your compassionate words..and well wishes..Thank you so much!
Art,
I understand what you are saying..Believe it or not, I am more like a guy in that it takes ALOT to get me to really cry..That is part of what contributes to my TMS,,i hold things in too much..But I have been crying and hyperventilating and almost throwing up every day since last Friday when this happened...This is one of the worst things, if not the worst, i have had to deal with..If only I could explain in doggie language why i keep dropping him off at all these hospitals..why he is sleeping in strange places and getting poked w/ needles, etc...This is killing me..I am hoping we caught it early enough for there to be a happy ending and that i have many more healthy years with my baby KC..Appreciate your empathetic words..So sorry to hear about what you went through losing your kitty..
Hugs and God bless you all for writing,,,please keep the prayers coming, for those who are believers...3pm i should have the ultrasound results and we are praying there is no absess and he can hold down some food by tonight..
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 14:20:58
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| Believe me, I understand the pain you're going through. At the same time, I appreciate and value the wisdom in Shary's approach. In my opinion, best to clear a small space inside where acceptance can begin to take root. Hopefully your doggy has many happy year left, but unless we become hermits, life is filled with loss. |
Edited by - art on 04/19/2007 15:42:46 |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 15:00:38
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| I have thought of becoming a hermit or monk on more then one occasion...I just feel too sensitive for this world, especially when it comes to animals.. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 15:37:05
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Hi Everyone,
I just called the doctor and she is doing a procedure..The nurse said she would call me back soon to tell me how KC is doing..I am sooo nervous and trying my hardest to think positively about what she is going to tell me..I am praying constantly and many are praying for my baby boy..I have rabbis, priests, and every friend and acquaintence I know praying for him and imagining him well..He has to pull through this..My poor 12 yr. old basset is so upset by all this that I am having to had feed her the food she normally loves so much..I just want him to sleep home tonight, not in another hospital..I asked if I could sleep on the floor in the hospital next to his pen, they said no for insurance reasons..I would climb inside with him if I could..I love him with all my heart..Everytime the phone rings i get butterflys..He just has to heal from this, just has to..
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 04/19/2007 : 17:59:46
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I am so devastated..The doctor said the ultrasound was very bad and he is vomiting up blood and in alot of pain..He is sedated on pain meds now and she can give me no guarantee he will recover..She said 50 percent in this condition do and 50 don't..He may end up w/ diabetes as well..When we got the news, my roommate/brother was hysterical and vomiting..i was crying and took off in my car..When i came back he was gone w/ my basset and i paniced..He sometimes takes a drink to calm down and has driven like that b4..Suddenly i was worried about him and my basset Jody as well..They are back and okay..really none of us are ok..
I cannot go see KC til the morning and I am so scared of how he will look, feel and hearing his moans and crys when we leave him there again..He must be on IV, no food/water til at least Monday, overnights, etc..in the hospital..My regular vet made a mistake saying it was ok to have him home last night,but he didn't realize the ultrasound would be so bad because the blood work showed improvement..We were thrilled yesterday and hopeful, today it is completely different..
I went to a park i take KC to, to an area w/ no people and cried out his name..The heartache i feel is so deep, i can barely breathe..I dont want to eat, don't want to sleep, watch tv, etc..I cancelled my vocal students' lessons for the rest of the week..I just want to go there and be w/ him but i cannot..Once he and Jody are in dog heaven, I don't think i will ever get a dog again..Quite honestly, i am so scared, upset, guilty for ever giving him human food, etc..that if it weren't for those who love me and my dogs,I don't want to even be here anymore..I know some of you must be thinking i am crazy for saying/thinking that, but I just cannot bare knowing my doggie is suffering so much..Our friend is on his way over to try to cheer us up..I wanted to cancel but my roomie does not..I just want to crawl into a corner and wake up from this nightmare |
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my dog is sick, support needed..
