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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
 Posted - 04/05/2007 : 04:57:38
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Hi, I'm wondering if I could have TMS. I will try to keep this as brief as possible. I'm an anxious worrying type of person by nature and recently have become very stressed due to various factors. I changed jobs, realised it wasn't for me and went back to my old job. This has completely knocked my confidence and made me feel worthless. I'm not really happy in my job and feel like I'm going nowhere and keep kicking myself for going back. Also my partner lost his job a couple of months ago which caused enormous stress.
Shortly after these things happened (about 2 months ago), I began to develop back pain. It started in my lower central back and then spread to the kidney area. I began to experience pain radiating down the side of my thighs. Then I noticed my upper back becoming extremely tense and sore to the touch. I've been to an Osteopath who advised me that my muscles are very tight and I have certain points in particular that are trigger points - behind my shoulder on the right side, my lower right back and my buttocks. When he touches these points it brings a tear to my eye, as it's so tender. These pains come and go throughout the day. When I wake up first thing in a morning I feel ok and then the pain quickly seems to return when I get up.
My latest pain is in my right hand - down the back of the hand. Flexing my thumb makes it worse. This started a couple of days ago. So I've been absolutely petrified and even more stressed as I'm a PA and my job involves typing. I'm convincing myself it's RSI, but my rational side isn't sure. I mean, it can't be coincidence that I'm getting this along with all these other pains, surely? And again, this pain comes and goes throughout the day. It can be really painful one minute and then a few minutes later, nothing.
When my back pain started I thought maybe it was my work chair (it's old and not very ergonomic). So I have been trialling an ergonomic chair. The back pain had improved (maybe because I convinced myself it was the chair causing it). However, since this hand pain started a couple of days ago, the back pain has started to return. I don't know if this is because my stress levels are rising even higher again due to worrying about my hand.
Also it doesn't make sense that my work chair would have caused the back pain anyway. I sat on that chair for over 2 years before I changed jobs with no back problems. It's only since my return to that job (after my brief 5 week stint in the new job) that I started to get back pain. This coincides with my partner losing his job and me getting depressed because I've gone back to my job and feel trapped and like I'm going nowhere in life.
Also it seems odd that I would develop an RSI at the same time. I've used computers for years with no problems.
So to sum it all up, I'm very low at the moment. I'm stressed and in pain and it's like a vicious cycle. I feel like I just don't want to get out of bed in a morning because I can't take anymore.
So, could this be TMS or is there something seriously wrong? I just don't know what to do. I've been trying yoga and trying to relax, but I'm still suffering and stressed. Sorry if this all sounds confusing!!
"I talk to God but the sky is empty" - Sylvia Plath |
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sonora sky
USA
181 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 07:55:31
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Welcome, Gemma! Wow, it sounds like you have an excellent grasp on the TMS concept. Contained within your first post is all the info you need to self-diagnose yourself. You've noted your symtoms and connected them to potential stressors and emotional events in your life. You've also discounted physical origins of the pain with your ergonomic chair experiement. Your logic rings true: in the past, you did not experience pain in your hands or back when you 1) used computers just as much as you do now and 2) sat in a plain 'ol chair for years. There's your proof! It sounds like, deep down, you already believe your symptoms are TMS. And you have every reason to do so. Your post is not confusing at all; it is wise.
A few questions for you: have you read any of Sarno's books yet? From your understanding of TMS, it sounds like you have. But, if not, I think it would be extremely helpful to cement your diagnosis as TMS. It sounds like you are ready and willing to further explore your mental/psychological state, and I think this would be a great benefit to you. You could begin by journaling, by talking more about your emotional issues here on the forum, or possibly talking with a psychotherapist, if you are amenable to that route.
Just know that you are where so many of us have been: desperate, frustrated, at wit's end. You have already made huge strides by learning about TMS and finding this site.
You're on your way!
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Edited by - sonora sky on 04/05/2007 07:56:31 |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 08:12:09
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Thank you for your quick response. Believe it or not I had never heard of TMS until yesterday when I came across it online! I couldn't believe it, it sounded exactly like what I have. I thought I had some terrible illness and that nobody else suffered like this. Reading about TMS has been a revelation for me. I became quite emotional and actually started crying out of relief that I'm not crazy and I'm not alone! I'm wondering if this kind of thing runs in my family. A few years ago my dad got depressed and developed all kinds of physical aches and pains. He absolutely convinced himself he had ME. He recovered through a combination of anti-depressants, counseling and positive thinking.
I'm going to purchase some books by Dr Sarno. I'm just hoping they help me. It's going to be hard removing the underlying stress as I'm such a worrier by nature. I'm going to have to try to totally change the way I view and approach things.
I am going to try to regularly visit this forum and talk to people. One of my problems is that I don't tend to talk enough. I usually bottle everything up inside and I guess that only makes things worse. People I know wouldn't understand what I'm going through, but at least people on here will. |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 08:57:18
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I went to my doctor. Told her about the back pain and specifically the tenderness in the muscle behind my right shoulder/neck area (the trapezius muscle according to my osteopath). She was quite dismissive (surprise surprise). She said I probably pulled the muscle and told me to take ibuprofen. I took this and it didn't really help. Also, I'm still getting the pain and if it was a pulled muscle I think it would have healed by now (I saw the doctor about 5 weeks ago).
I suffer with IBS too and that has flared up lately. I'm sure this has a link to stress also.
PA over here means Personal Assistant. Similar thing to a Secretary/Administrator.
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 09:06:11
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Interesting...just read an extract from one of Sarno's books on Amazon where he states: "In virtually every patient with TMS one finds tenderness when pressure is applied to muscles in three parts of the back: the outer aspect of both buttocks (and sometimes to the entire buttock), the muscles in the lumbar area and both upper trapezius (shoulder)."
These are the 3 exact areas that were very painful to the Osteopath's touch. He knew they were painful without me even saying anything. He said he could feel the muscles there were very tense.
I wonder why those muscles in particular are so susceptible to this tension? |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 09:38:16
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You are already way ahead of many others with TMS in that you grasp the concept and even accept that it may apply to you.
Stay away from thinking physical and continue down the psychological path. Take the first paragraph of your message and expand on those feelings. Time to start 'digging in the dirt'. |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 09:38:25
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My trapezius muscle has been a weak spot for some time. Whenever I get tense/stressed (usually at work) it gets really sore and tight and it feels like such an effort just to hold my head up. Quite often I get a throbbing headache in my left temple after I get tense there which is probably linked. I usually have to sleep it off overnight and then I'm ok. It's just got particularly bad lately after the prolonged stress I've been going through. It grinds you down when you're in discomfort day after day. I think you start to anticipate the pain before it even comes on, it's like waiting for the inevitable.
Hopefully I've caught it in time to do something about it.
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 09:43:28
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Hi Dave, yes fortunately the concept really makes sense to me. I know some people completely refuse to except things like this and I'm glad I'm not one of them.
I'm going to try my best to focus on dealing with my psychological issues. I guess I don't have much choice if this is what's causing the physical problems. I don't think it's going to be easy and I don't really know where to start to be honest, other than talking on here. Hopefully the answers (or should I say clues, as I guess only I have the answers) will be in Sarno's books. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 10:49:19
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| Hi Tom. To be honest, I don't do as much exercise as I should! I'm trying to do yoga a few times a week and I walk for about an hour daily. That's about it. My flexibility is appalling and I'm hoping the yoga will help with that. I'm ashamed to admit that I can't touch my own toes! |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 11:47:21
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quote:
Originally posted by Gemma_Louise
Hi Tom. To be honest, I don't do as much exercise as I should! I'm trying to do yoga a few times a week and I walk for about an hour daily. That's about it. My flexibility is appalling and I'm hoping the yoga will help with that. I'm ashamed to admit that I can't touch my own toes!
G_L,
An hour a day of walking is GREAT! And yoga three times a week is also GREAT!
Dealing with TMS (The Mindbody Syndrome), emotional, psychological issues, can require much energy. In our culture we think of Yoga as a form of exercise, primarily stretching, your streotypic "pretzel poseing".
The asanas, or poses are only one branch of Yoga. The other branches of Yoga are usually only given lip service and short-shrift in your typical Western Yoga class, (that's what the students want and that's what the "gurus" give 'em, a good stretch, a little sweat and a little nappy-poo).
I would hate to imagine the disgust of the soccer-moms and the swells, if the slender young thing demonstrateing poses in front of the class, performed the ritual cleansings before "demo-ing" the asanas. Classic Yoga was performed one on one--one student, one guru.
The constraints and economic concerns of our culture don't allow for this kind of luxury--12 x's $15 is the magic number.
The purpose of the asanas is to prepare the student's body for the realy hard work--the rigors of meditaiton.
Gemma_Louise, you are a fast study and have grasped the fundamentals of the Good Doctor's contribution to contemporary psychology very well. In the Divided Mind, Dr. Sarno's latest iteration of his theory, he dwells much on the psycholgy of TMS. He goes into it's universality within the human condition. Part of this is the inferiority complex.
You are exhibiting some evidence of this in deprecating the amount of exercise you are doing. An hour a day of walking and Yoga three times a week, is way above average and plenty to keep you fit. If you are holding yourself up to the standards of elite athletes doing tri-atalons, don't.
Thanks for dropping the Sylvia Plath quote from your signature, she's not a good role model for you at this time. Don't worry about the inferiority complex thing I mentioned, it's a part of the human condition and universal, we all have it to some degree and kicks in from time to time when the gremlin is harrassing us.
Best Wishes and Good Luck,
tt
Some of my favorite excerpts from 'TDM' : http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
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Edited by - tennis tom on 04/05/2007 11:51:53 |
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Gemma_Louise
United Kingdom
68 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 12:02:08
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You're right. I'm too self-depreciating. It's much easier to pick out negatives about yourself than positives I've always found! I'm going to try to think more positively. Yeah, sorry about the Sylvia Plath quote. Most of the literature I've read tends to be written by those of a depressive nature unsurprisingly! Time for me to find some better role models. 
Anyway, it's the Easter weekend so I have 4 days off work - yippee! Positive thinking see!  |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 04/05/2007 : 15:44:57
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I agree with others that your pain and "RSI" is most likely TMS. RSI generally is, in my opinion as someone who recovered from it with Sarno and TMS. You are doing an excellent job of thinking things through so far. Grab some good Sarno literature and forge ahead.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Help - could I have TMS?
