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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
 Posted - 02/14/2007 : 10:42:03
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Hi All,
I am not going to start posting a million times like i did the last time I had an acute attack..But I am really concerned right now..I already talked about what is going on in my other post..Now I am having a hard time crying even..I start to and the neck gets all locked and tight and I don't allow it to come out..I am feeling very scared right now also because I had an ice pack on my neck and sneezed at the same time..At that moment I felt pain in the muscles on the left side of my neck..I am praying it is just muscle tightness pain and I didn't hurt my disc..Here I go again with the disc stuff..But I did feel pain when I sneezed and only on the one side..This will make more sense if you have read my other post about Rage from yesterday..I really need some encouragement right now..I have been doing so much better, TMS wise, I cannot go through this again where i am bed ridden, etc..
Thanx for listening..
Happy Valentine's day,
Karen |
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Newmom
USA
57 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 11:26:24
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It is so unlikely that you injured a disc when you sneezed. It seems that you have been constantly focused on your neck pain, therefore, everything that happens while you are in this focus is going to happen there. I have been in your situation and continue to struggle with this CONSTANT FEAR/PANIC that you seem to be experiencing right now. I push through it 95% of the time.
II know how you feel right now. It is the fear that is overwhelming. Here's how I get through it. I have two options, either go into a full blown panic attack, not moving, doing nothing for hours or I can pretend that nothing happened. Either way, if you did hurt yourself you'll know. IN 9 MONTHS, NOT ONE TIME HAVE I EVER RE-INJURED MYSELF, BUT I SPENT AT SO MANY USELESS DAYS PANICKING AND "TAKING IT EASY" BECAUSE I THINK I DID.
My thoughts are with you that you push through this.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 12:11:24
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Thank you so much Newmom for your encouraging reply..It does help..I will be re-reading yours and the others I received from my post on Rage..I have not been this bad off in awhile..I am trying so hard not to go into the fear..This is a culmination of many months of stress and holding in my feelings about the stress..I am resting in bed now..Hoping to be up to journalling later...Glad that you are able to rise above this 95% of the time..that is wonderful..I never fully recovered from the last bout but i was functioning..I am just continuing to pray that it gets better quickly and is just a minor set back..
Hugs and God bless,
Karen |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 13:09:19
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Hate to sound like a broken record but if you have an ice pack on your neck then you are not treating your pain as TMS and it is no surprise that your brain siezes the opportunity to make you riddled with fear about physical injuries.
Remember that whenever you go down the path of a structural explanation for the pain then you are avoiding the emotions that are the true cause. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 13:24:24
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Thanks Dave..I want so badly to believe you and I am working on it..You have helped me in the past alot..It's just that I did feel pain on the left side of my neck when I sneezed w/ an ice pack on..SO I am fighting w/ my brain telling it that even though I felt pain at the time of the sneeze..this cannot be a true injury..It started yesterday from the buildup of stress and it keeps getting worse..Now I am in the laying in bed stage and it is bringing back awful memories from a year ago..The range of motion is all limited again and I just cannot go through this again..The emotions underneath are so intense (sadness, confusion, anger)..that I am wondering if the pain is serving as a temporary help as tt pointed out..But I don't want this pain, it is too scary, especially since it is also in the arms and fingers intermitently now..I guess I was doing the ice just in case so to speak..but..you are right..I am reinforcing that belief that something is really structurally wrong..It just sure feels like it..And the right upper side of my neck never fully healed from b4..now it is tight like it was at it's worst..You never sound like a broken record to me..Your replies always help..Thank you again..
God bless,
Karen |
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carbar
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 16:39:31
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Karen, you are gonna get through this. Put down the ice pack and pick up the paint brush. ;) All that down-time lying in bed is giving your brain plenty of downtime to let the TMS demons roll around your mindbody. Get up and do SOMETHING and fight through any weird body sensations. If you can journal, leave the house, look out the window and count the american cars, as active as you can handle. Get the mind off the pain and onto something else! You can do it!
~carbar
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 18:32:21
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quote:
I just cannot go through this again..The emotions underneath are so intense (sadness, confusion, anger)..that I am wondering if the pain is serving as a temporary help as tt pointed out..But I don't want this pain, it is too scary, especially since it is also in the arms and fingers intermitently now..
You need to take charge then. I think it's time for you, besides journaling, to get tough with your unconscious. Your unconscious child is TOTALLY RULING you. If you've ever seen Supernanny or been around a little kid, you know they can be total tyrants if you let them. You've got to take charge, say "I'm not taking this crap anymore. I'll deal with my/your emotional pain, I promise, just not right this second. But for the moment I need you to behave and stop causing me this unnecessary physical pain. Your game is up, I know your strategy, I can outlast you. It's not personal, I love and respect you, but I will not give in to you. I will not give in to the pain, or the fear of the pain. I've got stuff to do, so let's get on with it."
You don't have to be bedridden; you can't hurt yourself to fight through it and get going again! If you really can't get started fighting it, take some painkillers like Sarno recommends, to give you the upper hand for a bit.
I watched Supernanny the other day, and this little girl, 6 years old, was wearing her mother out totally by just refusing to stay put when she was in time-out for being naughty. Her mom always wore down and gave in and it ended in tears and hitting (by the little girl, not the mom) and no one getting anything done. Right now you're like that mom. The kid inside you knows she can win. Get the upper hand. Disengage emotionally from the pain, get tough, and set limits. It'll take time and patience but you'll win.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 19:44:26
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Hi Carbar,
Thank you for the encouraging words and great advice..I am hoping to try to paint tomorrow..Right now the pain is going down the arms and from past experience if I keep my arm raised to paint it will get worse..I even have pain in my right calf..So now my crazy unconscious is thinking that maybe when I sneezed earlier w/ the ice pack on and it hurt that I pushed the disc against some nerve or in the spinal canal..I am driving myself nuts..I am just incredibly disappointed to be going through this again..I'm not even up to journaling right now..My neck is all locked up and the range of motion is worse then it's usual limitation..
Hugs and God bless,
Karen
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 19:50:10
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Dear ACL,
Thank you again for your support and wise words! As always you make perfect sense to me..I just wish I could borrow your brain for a night or two so it can sink in deeper..:)
It is just so bad right now..Going down the arms into one of my hands, in my calf,etc..and my brain is telling me i hurt something when I sneezed w/ the ice pack on because at that time i did feel pain as it happened..My fear is that i hurt my disc..that is always the biggest fear..
THe pain down the arms, hands feels like disc pain..but so can TMS pain..And i sure do have ALOT going on internally..more then the last time I went through this..Which is why the fear is so intense..If the pain is in a ratio to the internal conflict I am in trouble..I am taking advil..(just in case)..I also have some weird thing happening (that happened b4 in NYC with the bad bumps in the road)..My muscles in my skull and upper neck are so tight that my head moves a tiny bit on it's own sometimes at rest..Very freaky and scary..I keep telling myself that Sarno says we can get weird pains and sensations from the tops of our heads to the bottom of our feet..Guess i am covering it all..
Going to try my best to paint tomorrow..A little at a time if need be..I am praying i am better in the morning and tomorrow night much better then tonight..Going to try to journal or bring on a catharsis on the phone w/ a friend..THanx again for your wonderful encouragement..
God bless and hugs to you,
Karen |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 21:59:35
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Well the tears came up on the phone with my boyfriend tonight..I suppose that was a good thing..But it feels like there is a huge lake full that are still inside..My muscles felt a little looser after the cry..but tightened up once again..My neck hasn't felt this bad in a long time..And the pain down the arms and into my foot even scare me into thinking potential 'disc.' I have a friend who does kinesiology and said this was 50 percent TMS and 50 percent physical from the sneeze and even from the plane ride back from NYC..sort of an accumulation..But he said it was only a muscle strain, nothing serious and it would be fine in a few days..Thinking this is even contrary to TMS and I want to embrace the TMS dx fully...As soon as i can afford to i am going to talk to Don D. again..He is so helpful..In the meantime, all of you help me so much and I am very grateful!
Hugs,
Karen |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 09:06:49
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quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
It's just that I did feel pain on the left side of my neck when I sneezed w/ an ice pack on..
You must accept the concept of conditioning and laugh off these occurrences as a trick. Don't let it succeed.
It is very easy to fall back into the trap and get frustrated with the pain. It is essential to do whatever you can to ignore the symptoms and focus instead on the underlying cause. When you say things like "range of motion" and "in my arms and fingers" and "my neck never fully healed" then you are playing right into the hands of TMS.
The conscious stress is hiding scary emotions underneath that your unconscious mind really does not want you to face. Be honest with yourself and face those difficult emotions, as irrational and scary as they may be.
You cannot go halfway. You cannot put on an ice pack "just in case" it is a structural problem. It's all or nothing. You must commit to the diagnosis 100%. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2007 : 10:06:52
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Thank you, Dave for your support and very wise words..I am working on it..The emotions are very deep, but the internal (Catch 22) conflicts I am going through in my present life I think are causing even more stress and TMS symptoms these days..If I could re-write history, I would..If I could come up with some miraculous new way to heal dog allergies, I would..So much of my world is out of my hands and unknown..Dr. Sarno talks about life pressures and financial difficulties as also being contributors..I am definitely dealing with both, on top of the unconscious emotions I am afraid to feel..The good news..I am hurting too bad to exercise for the moment..So..I have to eat right or I will get more out of shape..So this has forced me to get back on the train to wellness again..Although I don't want it to last more then a day or so! I just refuse to let it! I have to get back to that painting I am working on..Thanx for listening..I always welcome your thoughts, Dave..
Hugs,
Karen |
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Tears stuck..
