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 Multiple layers of TMS
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kovsi23

Croatia
8 Posts

Posted - 12/28/2006 :  12:57:46  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Is it possible to have a symptom that blocks second symptom which also blocks another symptom.

I for instance have mild fibromyalgia but when its absent i have then uncomfortable OCD.
OCD consists of obsessing about possibly going insane, checking every thought, thoughts about quality of my thoughts and metal abillities that happen in episodes usually in morning.
Throughout evening i have fibromyalgia.

My doctors tell me i m not insane and i know i m not but i cant help checking every memory, judgment, opinion i have for instance now when i m writing this post i m afraid it will be proclaimed stupid and that i will be cast out from this forum.

I m wondering is it OCD that is blocking rage as well? Or maybe i m just blocking a more serious disorder with fibro , like schizophrenia.

I know schizphrenia is a serious disorder and i dont think i m schizphrenic , i dont haluscinate, and i have mostly normal periods when i can hang out with people, smile, show only "super" emotions, but there are times when i just smile to people ironically, and i m trying to surpress it, during this time i also have ocd, and strong fibro.

Edited by - kovsi23 on 12/28/2006 12:59:39

Kristin

98 Posts

Posted - 12/28/2006 :  13:57:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hello Kovsi23,

Have you access to Dr. Sarno's books? Start there if you haven't already. Sounds like TMS for certain. The brain will use whatever will effectively distract you from exposing the rage.

Welcome! Nobody here will think you are stupid for experiencing these symptoms or being worried by them. It's natural, of course, for this to be unsettling! With a bit of insight and understanding you too can turn those symptoms around!

(There are many people with family and friends in Vela Luka in my town)
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Littlebird

USA
391 Posts

Posted - 12/28/2006 :  14:04:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Welcome, first I have to say that your post is definitely not stupid, but is a very good question. My experience with TMS has included many different types of symptoms, both physical and mental. I've been told by doctors that I have chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, mild ocd and other conditions, but I now realize that what I've been experiencing is TMS manifesting itself as different types of symptoms. Knowing that what I have is actually TMS explains why the severity of the different symptoms is always fluctuating, with pain the most noticeable some of the time while depression/anxiety or other types of symptoms are dominant at other times.

While I do believe that TMS can cause some of the mental symptoms people have, such as depression, anxiety, and ocd, I don't think it would be common for TMS to produce symptoms of schizophrenia. I know TMS can probably result in things like hallucinations in some people, but it seems like that would be a pretty extreme case, and I don't believe that all cases of schizophrenia are caused by TMS. What I've read about schizophrenia is that it is generally due to abnormal brain activity. You probably don't need to worry that your symptoms are blocking such a condition. Having several different types of symptoms that fluctuate in severity is just a regular part of having TMS.

I would encourage you to continue learning about TMS and to focus on acknowledging that repressed anger is the source of your symptoms. You can find a lot of good information here on the forum by searching the previous threads. And you'll find that your questions are always welcome here--the group has been very helpful to me and many others, even when we ask questions that have been covered in the past.

Best wishes, Corey
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kovsi23

Croatia
8 Posts

Posted - 12/28/2006 :  16:44:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ok i will share some personal scarry stuff about me now, if somebody decides to block my account for being a schizo ok i will not mind but my inner child will :=) , yes i m having some very weird symptoms and this can be very unsettling now all i wanna know is if this is tms and its symptome imperative or is it just screwed bunch of neurons or bad chemistry, is it physical perhaps is my biggest fear, physical sounds familiar? I often think about alzheimer, i also read that untreated schizophrenia can cause symptoms that match those of alzheimer.

A few word about my symptoms, i get wrong associations i think during the time when i want to make sense out of something for instance i m watching a tv show and in my mind i get thoughts that form a weird sense of whats going on , like i think "this actor reminds me of will smith, wait how can i see similarity between two people, no i dont have this abillity in my mind".

so i thought maybe i m mild schizo in development , or just maybe i can make some crazy tms theory that fibro is there to convince me that it blocks schizophrenia and to distract me from rage together with mild sch symptoms , or maybe its just sch without unconcious, without rage, just screwed neurons and chemistry, just physical. :=)

when i think its tms it feels like "oh bs , go get some anti psychotics for you, you dont belong on this forum", maybe if i comvince myself enough when it feels like truth then symptoms will be gone, or maybe its just a loony hope.

Edited by - kovsi23 on 12/28/2006 16:56:31
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Redsandro

Netherlands
217 Posts

Posted - 12/28/2006 :  18:57:27  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If your account gets blocked I will personally host a new forum. Anyway, I saw the thread title and thought I'd answer but your manifestation of TMS is so different from mine I don't know if it helps you. I do know however that the brain is a remarkable, scary, developed in an not to be underestemated long period of evolution, working in mysterious kinds of ways thing, capable of some weird stuff such as TMS itself, so it's okay to have some trust in the brain and believing it's able to come up with many things.

But for what it's worth, I'm starting to realize my depressions only come when the pain's not there. If it's related, I'm thinking they are each other's symptom imperatives. But your question is harder than I thought. If the observer told me psychosomatic pain is to distract from my depression, while the depression is a distraction from something else, I couldn't deny it. I think for me the imperative explanation makes convincingly enough more sense than the multilayer one, because it fits in Sarno and Freud's idea of this one ID that's in rage.

____________
No Hope = No Fear.
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tennis tom

USA
4749 Posts

Posted - 12/28/2006 :  19:16:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi K23,

Don't worry about getting thrown off the board, if they haven't thrown me off, there's little chance it will happen to you.

Like they say, if you think you might be crazy you're not...maybe just slighly neurotic but, who isn't around here?

If your docs don't think you're schizo, I'll bet a dozen Krispy-Kreme donuts you're not. They should know a schizo when they see one.

Actualy you sound a lot like a lot of young people your age who post here with similar issues. You're young, probably a lot of life pressures career wise, to get married, start pumping out rug-rats, all the usual stuff, as Dr. Sarno would put it, the human-condition.

I would try to keep off the meds accept for crisis control. In my experience they can make it more difficult to get to the place where the TMS work needs to get done.

Could the war in Croatia have caused trauma when you were growing up?Post more about what is going on in your daily life regarding work, family, friends, relationships. That's usually the battle-field for TMS and also early life trauma.

Regards,
tt


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kovsi23

Croatia
8 Posts

Posted - 12/28/2006 :  20:51:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I m lost in relationships department, i dont like to not be accepted and this includes slightliest negative feelings toward me, i understand this is unreasonable but i cant help but feel anoyed and angry at people all the time because they dont accept me the way i m, i try to be good to them, i have a demanding personallity and its also poisoned by other negative feelings comming from ID so to speak, i could say and this clearly repulses people away from me, i think this builds a lot of inner rage,
i think women cause a lot of rage inside me because i hate not to be accepted by women and i m not succesfull with women either.

What concerns me is that when i m completely alone i feel these symptoms too, why should rage be blocked when i m all alone in nature? Is it possible that i could rage on myself ... ? I m afraid this is not possible and that it means i dont have tms.

Tom, unlike many unfortunate children from Vukovar, big city that fell in war, war ironically holds most beautiful memories for me, it was time of worryfree childhood, video games, perfect mood, joy.... what is tms? there were no such things back then....

Edited by - kovsi23 on 12/28/2006 20:53:47
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Redsandro

Netherlands
217 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2006 :  06:03:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Your ego is 'protecting' you always, even when you are alone, for any rage, unacceptable thoughts or any other item on the repressed item list should not interfere with your 'self,' according to your ego. The way these ucs entities are often referred to is irrational, so stuff that in our conscious minds is not logical is to be expected.

____________
No Hope = No Fear.
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kovsi23

Croatia
8 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2006 :  06:49:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
i wonder why are then irational feelings and thoughts allowed to enter my mind while other people are free from it. :(((

I can understand that rage needs to be blocked when i m around people, but why block rage in nature, rage should get out then so i can lash it out onto the next tree or my poor picnick sandwich...

i remember going to woods above my town last week, i was there all alone, talking to myself: ok i m all alone now, nobody will get hurt i know theres lots of crap stuffed down there and it wants to come out on innocent people, now its time we release it, get the anger out, where is it?

i was disappointed that nothing came out, but i kept doing some easier emotional release excercises like stomping around all mad, and it was clearly emotional, and spontaneous, and i would feel waves of relief after doing it. But i would really like to get mad, like really mad and chop a tree with axe like a mad mad man , or something equally mad like crush stones with sledgehammer. :)

Edited by - kovsi23 on 12/29/2006 07:02:36
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HilaryN

United Kingdom
879 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2006 :  07:56:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
i wonder why are then irational feelings and thoughts allowed to enter my mind while other people are free from it. :(((

I doubt other people are free from it. They just repress it.
quote:
i remember going to woods above my town last week, i was there all alone, talking to myself: ok i m all alone now, nobody will get hurt i know theres lots of crap stuffed down there and it wants to come out on innocent people, now its time we release it, get the anger out, where is it?

i was disappointed that nothing came out

Years of conditioning in keeping those emotions repressed means that, unfortunately, it’s not that easy to release them even when on your own.

Hilary N
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kovsi23

Croatia
8 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2006 :  08:12:57  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I m learning not to be ashamed to cry, i read a wonderful passage in book "Facing fire" by John Leen , he says go to nearby mirror and make silly faces for 5 minutes, loose control, i did this and i felt like a fool, i also felt shame and series of crappy feelings about it, but to my surprise, i as a 6"2 210lbs , tough guy wanna be all my life can now cry on movies, songs, people i lost or m about to loose, i m ready to get in touch with anger and rage but i guess its scarrier of emotion then the rest of id bunch, i have a boxing bag placed in my basement now i hope that by pounding it and layman training kick boxing will help me get in touch with such a scarry feeling like rage.

Edited by - kovsi23 on 12/29/2006 08:15:00
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Redsandro

Netherlands
217 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2006 :  20:52:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Facing the Fire, sounds interesting. Would you recommend it?
My supplier only has that title from Bill Stott and Gail Barett though, the first one is about anger.

____________
No Hope = No Fear.
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miehnesor

USA
430 Posts

Posted - 12/31/2006 :  20:42:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
K23- First of all I would bet that you do indeed have TMS so I would suggest you just assume that this is the correct diagnosis and proceed with the TMS work.

Remember TMS is all about UNconscious rage not conscious rage. You will not be able to readily feel it consciously. It takes a lot of work to gain insight and understanding of all aspects of this rage that is buried inside of you.

I would recommend that you start jounaling to probe inside yourself to look for what your conscious mind might be protecting you from. This takes time and work so be patient and see what you can discover about this repressed rage.

I've got to go but good luck.

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kovsi23

Croatia
8 Posts

Posted - 01/01/2007 :  14:42:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Redsandro

Facing the Fire, sounds interesting. Would you recommend it?
My supplier only has that title from Bill Stott and Gail Barett though, the first one is about anger.



Hi Redsandro, i would definetely recommend that book to you, i think its on the top of the list of most experienced tms followers, full title is called Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately,
what i found most valuable in this book are the excercises, also he really made me see anger and grief as something positive and acceptable something i didnt think about these emotions before.

Edited by - kovsi23 on 01/01/2007 14:43:30
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