| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
 Posted - 10/03/2004 : 09:56:05
|
I feel, in the TMS personality, that the sub-conscious battle between the "goodist" and the "perfectionist" creates much of the conflict, that, when left "un-treated", breaks out in psycogenic physical pain.
The goodist in us wants us to act co-operatively, lovingly, peacefully with others, The perfectionist makes us be competetive, self-centered, survivalist. The two traits are antagonistic unless you are a saint.
Their conflict, to me is exhibited in our culture in passive/aggressive behavior. I feel we would have less TMS pain if people would choose to act passively or agressively-but not both at the same time. It sends mixed messages.
I had a tough incident with one of my key employees this week and it keeps popping into my head. It made for a lot of gloomy-negative thoughts. Eventually, I thought it would become repressed and eventually re-surface as TMS pain if I didn't deal with it. I feel I'm right but maybe didn't express myself well because I'm not good at "new-age" passive-aggressive B.S., psycho-babble speak.
After 48 hours and sleeping on it for two nights, I woke up feeling physicaly good. I have several strategies I have come up with to try to handle the interaction with this employee in the future, including bringing in a consultant as a mediator.
I believe the mental process I used is rationalization. I recall from the '60's and my hippy days that the term "raationalization" was always used pajoratively. But it seems to me for TMS purposes, rationaliztion serves a good purpose. We can think about a situation and decide if we can take action to fix it or accept it as something we have no contol over and deal with it thusly. |
|
|
n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 02:33:52
|
The inner conflict you describe, Tom, is probably created, or at least, aggravated, by the need we have to get along in today's society. We have so many demands placed on us - via work, family commitments and the need for more and more 'stuff' that most of us think we have to have to be a successful human - better car, better house, the latest electronic gadgets etc, etc.
An ex-prime minister of Britain, you've probably heard of her said, 'There is no such thing as society;' and I believe that in our two countries and many others as well, the individualist lives we lead add to the goodist/perfectionist conflict.
We have to keep our aggressive side under control (mind you more and more people don't or can't do this too well any more), so that we can rub along with other people. We need to behave passively, often when we want to be utterly self-centred. I think you are right - a massive TMS creating conflict.
I'm sure that it is no coincidence that my TMS really got a hold of me when my late father was very ill. The demands on me were great at that time. I do sometimes wonder if I had been living a more 'old fashioned' life at that time; -
ie- a homemaker, with no other job than looking after the family, if my pain problems would have been less, or even existed at all.
I believe that until we get a better life balance - the quality of so many peoples' lives will continue to suffer because of overwork and TMS will continue to be a huge problem. In a way, those of us who post here are lucky, we have made the link between the psychological and the physical and can begin to make the changes in our lives that we need for better health. |
 |
|
|
tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 09:21:57
|
Well put AnneG. As the Chinese philosopher said, "May we be blessed to live in interesting times." And I think we certainly are. The downside of this, as you so well put it is the exponential increase in stress.
The transition from a rural, to an urban/suburban, society over the last 100 years, along with the technological, labor saving revolution have "divorced" us from our bodies. In the "good old days" you couldn't help but be in touch with your body because everything we did was done manually. We walked, we plowed, we milked the cow. Today we drive, we press buttons, we order latte's. The mind and body interact only electively, if we choose to move it for exercise purposes, recreationaly.
We are being conditioned by the media, that every twinge and sensation of our body is a disease that we must run to the pharmacy to treat, see a specialist, or, if we're "new-age", get balmed or 'punctured.
In the old days we knew our neighbors, got along with them or occasionaly feuded with them. Today we have the luxury of our "privacy" and scoot in and out of our remote controlled garages and never see or interact with our neighbors. We drive 50 miles to interact with our "friends".
It is a brave new world and I feel our nervous systems have not evolved as fast as the changes in our "society". We, who have been fortunate enough, to have stumbled onto Dr. Sarno's TMS theory, can use it as a barometer for our coping with the pressure. When we feel TMS cominging on, we can stop, take a deep breath, and hopefully, carry on and not run off to the white-coats for a fix.
AnneG, thanks for your thoughtful reply, and may you have continued success in helping the planet evolve it's nervous system.
Cheers,
tt |
|
|
|
tdk
15 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 15:32:09
|
AnneG and TT...what an interesting thread.
I have believed, for a very long time, the fuel of my chronic pain (ie, tms) has been conflict with a capital "C". Mainly, a love-hate relationship w/both parents. Very intriguing.
BTW, would you mind my asking your ages? I just hit the big "5-0" and am doing the "am I too old to get better" dance in my head. Self-destructive tendancies are hard to give up!!!
TDK |
|
|
|
tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2004 : 17:01:28
|
| Thanks for your comment TDK. I am 56 years old. I am shooting for 100+, ambulatory and still sexy. I hope to date younger women then in their early nineties. Maybe play a little less tennis and try my hand at golf. One of my heroes is a senior tennis player named Ken Beer. He is playing tournaments at 102. As KennyV would say, "There is always hope for recovery." What choice do we have accept to order our tombstone and have it say "TMS Did Me In"? |
|
|
|
n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 09:15:26
|
Admit my age! This really hurts, TDK, but here goes - I'm 57, but looks years and years younger, you understand.
I'm not sure if I'd have found it easier to make the changes necessary to deal with TMS when I was younger - probably not. I am ready to admit my weaknesses now - to myself. Reading widely on pain conditions and anxiety conditions has given me really good insight to just what has been going on with my brain - love/hate relationships with parents - I sure know about that one!
Don't set yourself any timetables or deadlines when dealing with TMS - you are not too old - it's just the TMS way of thinking that's making you worry that you might be. Recovery will sneak up on you if you let it.
De-conditioning didn't happen to me overnight, but it did happen.
|
|
|
|
tdk
15 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 13:05:59
|
AnneG & TT,
You guys are "the bomb" for answering the age question. Many thanks.
I am a young 50, except for the pain. I am petite, energetic (most of the time), married to a younger guy and think I am still 25. That's part of the frustration with the pain...if only I felt as young as I think I am!!
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have been dealing w/this a very long time. The longer it goes on the harder it gets to convince myself that time with this thing does not matter, it's the thinking that does.
I'm one of those people who would benefit from seeing a tms doc. No one near me, so I continue to do the work the best I can.
TDK
|
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
PERFECTIONISM / GOODISM & RATIONALIZATION
