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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
 Posted - 12/03/2006 : 20:20:59
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Hi Guys,
I haven’t been posting much of late. There are loads of new people here, so only some of you will know me. Just wanted to hang back and work on a few things. Anyway, lets talk shop! So I’m about 80% - 90% pain free, and have been for a about 3-4 weeks now. I am now able to take action to reduce my pain. This is a massive break through for me, as I’ve been suffering for about 4-5 years now. (second episode) So how did I do it you are all asking, well go to my website and pay $50........just kidding. However feel free to give me $50 anyway. After all the **** that I’ve been through, people I’ve seen, memories I’ve dug up, it turned out to be something very simple, but not. Yeah I know, stay with me. For me it was just anger! Plain and simple. NO KIDDING I hear you say, but seriously it’s your anger and only your anger. Day to day stuff or maybe in the past, conscious or unconscious, who knows. It’s like this. When I go to bed at night I allow myself to feel my emotion, anger. I go into my body and allow this f*****g fury to flow through my being. It’s great, I feel my breathing get heavy and a rush up my spine, then sometimes I stay in that moment and squeeze my fists or punch the bed. Some points you need to know
- There is no point screaming, punching or anything like that unless you can feel your rage flowing in your body. Feel it, BECOME COMFORTABLE IN THE ZONE (this is very important) stay in the moment and discharge it from your body. Go crazy and let it go!
- We all have an anger account, and we make deposits every day. When this acc gets full, we get body symptoms or we lose control over small issues, ie someone cuts you off.
- It is not normal to wig out and want to explode someone’s universe just cause they cut you off. Annoyed yes, even pissed off is cool, but full on rage indicates that your anger acc is FULL
- Find out how to gain access to your stored anger (repressed, that you can’t tap into). “Feeling the fire” is a great book for understanding, BUT you need to read “The Journey” to learn how to get into your body and emotions, if you don’t know how. For me now I just close my eyes and I can feel anger.
- Different things work for different people, this works for me. (Logan, also healed, has posted some good stuff that coincides with what I’m saying) How you get to your anger is your call, but make no mistake! YOU MUST LEARN TO RELEASE THAT ANGER
- Simply having “the knowledge” (Sarno knowledge) didn’t do S*** for me, in the long term. Yes I cured myself with it once, but I never learned to manage my anger, and the pain returned. Sarno is a legend, but there is more to TMS than just knowledge. It may have cured you, and that’s great, but I’ll bet you’re still the same person with the same anger………..where is that anger going if not to your back????
- Squeeze tight your muscles before sleep. Get angry and squeeze as hard as you can all over, then release breath and muscles. Repeat as much as you want.
- There are two basic emotions in your body. One feels good and one feels bad. Learn to feel the bad one, and don't worry about what it's called
This will help you empty/manage your anger account. Then you need to understand what fills that account, and neutralise it. Here’s the best part. You have control over everything the pisses you off, because It’s YOU that gets pissed off about something not going YOUR way..........you childish little sod! :-) Let’s break it down
You want holidays to go camping with friends, boss says no way, need you here. Two things can happen. 1. You get pissed off and march out of there go back to you desk and think about what an arsehole he is. Ask yourself, why so mad?
Cause I can’t get holidays - why does this make me mad?
Cause I deserve it - why does this make me mad?
Cause I want to go and have fun, it’s my life, and he’s telling me I can’t - why does this make me mad?
Cause I don’t like that dork telling me what I can and can’t do - why does this make me mad?
Cause I think I’m better than him.
This is just and example, your thoughts may be different. The point I’m trying to illustrate, is it’s usually an arrogant, narcistic thought pattern oozing from the subconscious that drives your anger. It usually always relates back to you somehow. Why is it that road rage affects some people and not others?? It’s their thought pattern!
2. You don’t get mad about it and just go back to your desk. However you could be having those same thoughts just in your subconscious. So you might not be aware that you’re actually mad, that’s even worse.
When you understand why you get angry about things, you can massage some of your thoughts so they are more constructive, and help reduce the amount of anger you generate.
What I have given you here is a lifestyle. This is how I live my life and deal with my anger, it’s actually easy. Understand it, release it, allow it. Be comfortable about being pissed off about something, allow it in your body. That doesn’t mean you have yell and scream at people.............people who do that have no idea about anger, and how to handle it. I have found I don’t get as pissed off about things anymore, because I’m managing my anger acc. My account isn’t so full so small things don’t make me that mad. My anger is more in PROPORTION with the situation.
There are loads of angry people around, and this is making our society crap. There is even anger on this forum, people take shots at each other and argue over posts. It’s funny to see people resort to complete stupidity all because of their paradigms.........why??? Are you concerned about your image? Are you insecure? These very things drive you and your emotions......cause you to get mad. You are not your emotion, just allow yourself to feel them, and get in touch with your anger.
This is still a work in progress for me, I have to work at it a little more to become 100% pain free. I just need to release more anger at night. Having said that, I sleep well and my pain is more of an annoyance than anything.
Well, that’s it. This post is for one reason, to give back to the forum and help the people living with chronic pain, I know how depressing that can get. If you don’t agree with what I’ve said here, that’s fine cause I really don’t give a toss, however don’t fill this thread with your pointless argumentative dribble. I won’t even respond to it, and you’re just wasting other readers time, as there’s a good chance you’re probably not pain free. There is more than one way to become pain free, I’ve done it and Logan seems to have done it like this........so it can’t be that wrong!!
I hope this helps, so keep your chin up and don’t lose sight of the goal.......to be pain free!!!!!
Darko
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Edited by - Darko on 12/04/2006 15:41:07 |
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Tunza
New Zealand
198 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2006 : 12:20:29
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Excellent post! I'm printing this one out for my reference folder.
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HilaryN
United Kingdom
879 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2006 : 13:31:27
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Great, Darko! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Can I tag this SuccessStory? (So it can be found on a search.)
quote:
- There is no point screaming, punching or anything like that unless you can feel your rage flowing in your body.
One comment to add: I think a couple of people have commented that the pillow-punching helps the anger to come out even if they didn't feel it in the beginning. So it's another way of accessing the anger.
Hilary N |
Edited by - HilaryN on 12/04/2006 13:32:06 |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2006 : 14:20:47
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Way to go Darko!!!!!!!
Sounds like your process is very similar to mine. The tricky thing is getting into that unconscious fear response which indicates the rage is close and accessible.
The other point that you make in your post is getting comfortable enough with the feeling of anger and letting it go and express it in the body. This has been crucial to my recovery as well. I think we are so conditioned to repress anger that it is a muscle that has atrophied over time and it takes time to reverse that response.
One thing that is different between our cases is that I was unable to feel the fear by myself. I needed a witness. I had to do all this craziness in therapy and i've had to do for an extended period of time. I'm still working on it as well. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2006 : 14:46:32
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Thanx Darko,
This was helpful and I am happy for you..:)
Karen |
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Darko
Australia
387 Posts |
Posted - 12/04/2006 : 15:38:51
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T, H, M, K,
thanks for the support, Karen I hope this helps you! Hilary, that's a fair point and I would have to agree with you on that.
I find it really hits the spot when I allow that anger to explode out of me, but there is no reason you can't do that way also. Yeah go ahead and tag this post if you like. I'm more than happy for it to be used in the future.
Mie, it's good to hear that we're on the same road, makes me even more confident and happy that I'm doing the right thing. |
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MikeJ
United Kingdom
75 Posts |
Posted - 12/08/2006 : 15:19:07
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That's awesome! I'm happy you came back Darko! And thank you so much for sharing those excellent insights on anger, great stuff.
quote:
We all have an anger account, and we make deposits every day. When this acc gets full, we get body symptoms or we lose control over small issues, ie someone cuts you off.
I like that idea, it's a nice way of putting it.
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PeterW
Canada
102 Posts |
Posted - 12/09/2006 : 21:23:49
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Way to go Darko! Thanks for posting that. Loads of good points in there, and good to hear of your progress. |
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OUCHTHE PAIN
USA
11 Posts |
Posted - 09/01/2007 : 11:39:41
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[I hope this helps, so keep your chin up and don’t lose sight of the goal.......to be pain free!!!!!
Darko
Hello Darko,
I see this was posted almost a year ago...I doubt you will see my reply. But just in case you come back for a visit some time, I wanted you to know your post is incredibly helpful to me. To most people I guess it would seem an easy task to rid oneself of anger or other negative emotions. It does not come naturally to me, and I really seem to need a step by step tutorial on how to do it! Yours is the first I've come across that explains it rather well. The hard part will be for me to put it into action. Thank you for sharing!
Mary |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 18:56:32
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Mary- I'm going to attempt to answer your question since i'm not sure how often Darko is visiting the site now. What he is describing when he talks about feeling the rage in the body is a response in the body to provoked repressed rage. What is interesting about it is that the feelings of the body alone can be an excellent guide into your past repressed feelings. The body response of increased heart rate, rapid breathing, increased blood pressure etc is the body's way of telling you that you are in danger. What i've discovered is that the danger, at least for me, was that this repressed rage is moving closer to consciousness but is not their yet. Now by releasing the rage- acting out the rage as a conscious choice, if you have an idea of who that rage is directed to, can resolve some of it and remove the body fear response entirely.
The hardest part of this whole thing is provoking this kind of what I call a body fear response. I don't believe this is an easy thing to do because the feelings are repressed and you are not aware of them. I see the process as sort of an experimental hunting project for feelings. Any feelings when you start out. Start with journaling and write about the important people in your life. Write about anything that comes to mind. Keep going until you hit upon something which brings affect to you. You might feel sad or angry or block like a numbness. When you notice something in your body then you have hit upon something that is significant for you that needs further exploration. Keep going deeper and trying to feel as much as you can about the situation. If the event happened deep into your past imagine how yourself at that age might have felt.
For me I was able to bring up repressed sadness with journaling but not much else. Eventually I needed the safty of therapy to start to feel the body response of fear that Darko refers to.
I would recommend patience when doing this because it can take a while to connect with yourself depending upon how profound your repressed pain is. Good luck. |
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wkampers
United Kingdom
3 Posts |
Posted - 04/09/2008 : 09:01:55
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Hello Darko
Would you mind letting me know who the authors are of the books you mentioned? They sound worth reading. Thanks |
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Success Story - 80-90%
