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nporat
USA
11 Posts |
 Posted - 11/20/2006 : 10:51:14
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Hi All,
I just want to say thank you for all your replies. I think it is time I learn to trust my doctors and move on with my life. I will do my best to ignore my symptoms, I realize they get worse when I focus on them. Your support means the worls to me and I will try my best to beat this monster that I think has been inside me since early childhood. Oh and for those of you who asked if I was a hypochondriac, the answer is YES!!! I have diagnosed myself with everything under the sun. Below are some questions, I am curious if these apply to any of you. XOXO NIKKI
Do you ever remember not being tense?
Do you get muscle knots?
Do you fear letting go of TMS?
Do you fear that if you let go of the anxiety that something will really happen?
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 18:45:15
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quote:
Originally posted by nporat
Do you ever remember not being tense?
Do you get muscle knots?
Do you fear letting go of TMS?
Do you fear that if you let go of the anxiety that something will really happen?
Yes--when I'm relaxed I'm happy. Now I catch myself when I feel my shoulders tightening, or when I flick my hands (this was subc. action I'd do when annoyed, even though I'd often be smiling).
Yes. I think knots are caused by lack of oxygen (TMS). When I run or get exercise my masseuse tells me my back is MUCH more relaxed. When I don't get any exercise she says I have TONS of knots and that she could work on me for hours and they still would be there.
Yes. My TMS meant that I didn't have to deal with some pretty upsetting emotions. I realized that dealing with the emotional things was painful, but somehow more manageable than the physical pain.
and Yes. Anxiety is a funny-ole-thing. (freakin' hillarious!!!! says she with sarcasm) I was terrified that if I let go that I would cry and not be able to stop. That I wouldn't be able to function. I took a leap of faith and decided to feel it. I wore sunglasses a lot b/c I cried so much. I did "fall apart", but I believe that for me it was a critical step that led to recovery. Once I let go and started crying, the sadness and anxiety processed thru me. It was not easy, but somehow tolerable. I am a stronger, more compassionate and wonderful person because of the leap of faith I took.
PS the fact that you are examining your "knots" is buying into something "physically wrong".
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
Edited by - Penny on 11/20/2006 18:56:59 |
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YOU ARE ALL AMAZING! THANKS!
