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chingborden
USA
10 Posts |
 Posted - 11/15/2006 : 12:36:49
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Before finding Sarno's books I had what I now look back on as a TMS downhill crash over the past year after my newborn daughter had a stroke (she's fine now). When she was around four months I developed IBS, had a re-ocurrence of sciatica problems and developed minor but lasting jaw and ear pain after a dental visit and allergy issues. On the anniversary of her stroke, 6 mos after the dental visit, I came down with vertigo. I've had vertigo a few times before but only for a few weeks. This has now been over 6 months. I guess I would call it imbalance more than vertigo. The intensity comes and goes. Pre-Sarno I discovered many websites linking TMJ (jaw issues) with dizziness and ear pain so I headed off to a TMJ specialist who told me that he was sure that my disk must have slipped off during the dental visit and that is why I was having the vertigo due to the muscle tightness from the injury. No imaging done here, he was just sure because he had seen it so often before. He said it would take 6 mos of wearing this mouth piece and having it adjusted each week to heal the injury. Soon after starting the mouth piece I found Sarno and he gave clarity to my whole life. The books fit me like a glove. As soon as I believed what was happening was emotion based and lost my fear I got a Lot of relief. Here's the kicker. Just about the time I started feeling better was also the same amount of time the TMJ dentist said it would take for me to start feeling better. Bad timing because it left me open to wondering if it was the Sarno work or the mouth piece that was working. For 3 months now I have been getting better. I can function and started running again. Barely any sciatica, rarely any
IBS. No ear or jaw pain. Less dizzy. Thanks to the Scott Brady book I gained a lot of strength taking control of my pains and to a limited extent, the dizziness, and have been able to demand my mind make the pain go away with near instant success. The one thing I had left to do is toss the mouth piece (physical reminder). I was so sick of it and was convinced it served no purpose. I had a great night and busy morning w/o it. Then, when I got home all the old jaw and ear pains came back and I got more dizzy than I had been in a while. Panic! These past 2 days now have been harder than usual. I keep thinking- my injured jaw. The slipped disk. Am I re-injuring it and causing all the muscles to tighten and make me more dizzy?!!!. I am getting the same fear and nausea I had before and my IBS kicked in again. So how do I convince myself that this is all TMS???. The thing is. When the ear or jaw pain come on I can make it go away pretty quickly. Is that in itself the proof I need?  I feel kind of like I am convincing myself just writing this but would like to get some supportive commentary. It's the increased dizziness that is really upsetting me though. That's when the fear grabs me. Today is better than yesterday morning though. Perhaps it's the knowledge that I am going to have to confront this dentist and tell him I am quitting his program and will most likely have to defend my decision and have to deal with his rolled eyes when I tell him I feel this is an emotionally based issue rather than a physical one. I don't like confrontation. Especially with those who are medical "authorities" on the subject. I don't like rocking the boat or feel like I am not seeing something through. I don't like the idea of him thinking badly of me for doing this. Maybe that's the psychological part that is making me more dizzy. So this is a big step for me. I hadn't realized how much I must have been relying on that dumb mouth piece as a crutch ("If the Sarno work doesn't cure me then the mouth piece will"). So now I'm all on my own. Just me and my mind. I liked feeling better and confident. Like I was winning. Now I have those same feelings of doubt again. But I keep telling myself, " If I can make these ear and jaw pains go away when I tell them to that must be proof that it was always a TMS issue and the mouth piece was the wrong treatment. How can true injury pains just go away upon command?" Does this sound like justified reasonong to you? I hope so.
Thanks in advance,
Courtney
chingborden |
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 11/15/2006 : 16:56:15
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Hi Courtney,
I think your reasoning is good, that you couldn't control the pain like you do if it wasn't TMS. It can be a bit scary to let go of the crutches we use. I've been up and down with a few of my crutches, successfully letting go and then having doubts again when symptoms come back. I have to keep telling myself it's not a matter of permanent damage if I resist letting the pain control me, it's only a matter of being uncomfortable until I get my confidence back.
I'm also very averse to confrontation or to displeasing anyone, no matter how minor the issue. I know that has been a major factor in developing TMS and in trying to overcome my physical symptoms.
Do you know your dentist well? Do you have to go back and tell him you're stopping his treatment or can you just cancel the next appointment? If you decided you needed to go back to the treatment later, you don't owe any explanation about why you stopped it, but if you feel the need to explain you can just say you had a lot of stuff going on and not go into details.
I think you've hit the real issue with your comments about not wanting to feel that you haven't seen something through and not wanting him to think badly about you. Why does that matter? I know the feeling--I have to keep asking myself " Why does it matter ?" when I stress over what others may be thinking.
I read or heard a saying once that is good for me to repeat to myself in many situations: When I was 20 I always worried about what other people thought of me, when I reached 40 I didn't care anymore what they thought of me, and when I reached 60 I realized they weren't even thinking about me at all. It's true that sometimes people are thinking about us or making judgments about some of our actions, and some people's opinions may be truly important to us, but we need to learn to not let everyone around us control our decisions by being overly worried about their opinions. Do what's best for you, not what's best for the dentist.
Best wishes--Corey |
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chingborden
USA
10 Posts |
Posted - 11/15/2006 : 19:46:14
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Thanks for that one. I have seen this dentist weekly for the adjustments so it has become a "relationship" that feels hard to break. I am getting up the nerve. Truthfully I DON'T have time for these appointments anyway. Not to mention that this is an extrememly costly program $11,000- not covered!!!!!!!!. I can't justify it if I don't feel devoted to it. He's about to move his office to a farther location and only have Saturday hours (huh?!) so I took that as a sign that it was time to bow out. Might just leave a message. It's my body and my money after all. I shouldn't feel so obligated, like I don't want to upset him. It's not personal.
Aloha,
Courtney
chingborden |
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If I can make it go away it must be TMS right?
