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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
 Posted - 10/13/2006 : 19:37:14
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Please please please ... can anyone share techniques they have for accessing and releasing anger and rage? I have realized that the second I get angry about something I completely shift to sadness. I have ENORMOUS rage in me over my father and some things that have transpired the past couple weeks. It's causing my symptoms to flair. I'm ignoring them, but I know they remain b/c I haven't expressed my fury. I don't know how.
I'm aware of a great book called "Facing the Fire" but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. Are there any Web sites or tactics you all could suggest to help me right now? I've got to open this up. I'm sure this is what is holding me back.
Thanks so much for being here.
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
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MuLLady244
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 00:36:51
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I am new yet the advice I have received and the action I have taken has helped so much. Have you ever heard the expressions "it was right under your nose" or "if it were a snake it would have bit you"
In the past I used to seek every solution that allowed me to avoid taking the action that I KNOW I MUST take. What was the name of that book that you said you haven't had the chance to read yet "Facing the Fire"...
Enjoy the day,
MuLLady |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 05:24:34
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Penny,
it may sound trite, but try just beating up a pillow and saying **** YOU!
or GET AWAY FROM ME!
or THIS IS MY BODY
or NO!
Although
**** YOU! is an all time Number One.
If there are people around nearby, you can bury your face in the pillow and scream. When you are punching don't tighten your body, loosen it.
Also if you are unable to yell and scream where you are, there is a great technique called a "hand scream." You hold your hand cupped hard over your mouth and scream as "loud" as you can. Almost no sound comes OUT, but there is a powerful feedback of your anger which you can feel converting back into pure energy as you do it. Hand screaming is so effective that it is almost better than just screaming. It's a bit like an isometric exercise - more satsifying to have something to push against.
I think an important thing to know is that releasing deep core emotions is very PLEASURABLE! Anger converts to power. Sadness converts to deep compassion/love. Fear converts to excitement. You feel yourself being renewed. You wonder why your subconscious ever believed that suppressing and being sick was a better option!
We are all hand-screaming along with you!
xx
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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Wavy Soul
USA
779 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 05:27:44
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Ha Ha - I'm having a great energetic release at the way this forum is spelling the word **** for me! It has a subconscious suppressor built in!
Look at this: **** **** **** ****!
The poor website will get TMS!
I have a friend who is Phillipino and his "f's" come out as "p's." So he says PUCK YOU! I have found that that is very satisfying to say, and I can't wait to post this and see if PUCK gets through the censor!
Thanks moderator, we appreciate you!
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
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sonora sky
USA
181 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 07:04:26
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I love that: the website will get TMS! So true...
The book Penny's refering to is called Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately, by John Lee.
best,
ss |
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ndb
209 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2006 : 09:18:09
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Wavy, I just take the vowels out, and post:
f*ck! f*ck! sh*t!
ndb |
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Kristin
98 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2006 : 14:40:41
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Hi Penny,
Maybe you are experiencing sadness instead of rage or anger because it's more socially acceptable. Knowing that is almost enought to make one angry! When I was growing up sadness was much more accepted and anger was rarely expressed. I am reading an interesting book right now about the neurology of feelings. One of the points so far is that feelings are the private experience of what we feel inside, and emotions are the expression of those feelings (e-motions?). I don't think that feelings can be controlled but the public expression of them can be directed.
Because I'm still learning about my own, I don't have any advice on expressing anger/rage.
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Penny
USA
364 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2006 : 17:51:35
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Thank you all for the insights and suggestions. I'm going to try it tomorrow when my house is empty and I'm alone. That is really interesting point about sadness being more socially acceptable. I really relate.
I am very afraid to feel my anger--to let it stay in me-- I think I believe that if I feel my anger I will lose control and not be able to get it back again. Do others feel like that? Wow ... if it makes me more powerful, then perhaps with the amount I have ... I'll become a superhero? LOL!!!! I can believe it, but I feel so scared that by really accessing my rage will remove me even more from my life than repressing it has. That is a quite limiting belief, isn't it?!
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 10/16/2006 : 11:51:22
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Yes, I am afraid to let my anger go.
I have punched a pillow before which helps.
For me it also helps to have a dream where I get angry. I had one last night and almost enjoyed it, even though it is frustrating. I am trying to be less scared of my anger.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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leonard
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 10/16/2006 : 12:39:56
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I met with John Lee a few months ago for about 2 hours. I told him that it had been pretty easy for me to express my grief and sadness , but anger was something that I just couldn't seem to access. I think he waited for the right moment and then challenged me by throwing a chair in front of me and making me address the person I was angry at. It was an amazing experience and although I am still hesitant , I can get into it easier while exercising and thinking of the people or events when I repressed my anger and felt " less then ". If I'm by myself and meditating , it really seems to surface when I think more of how the people and/or events affected my life.......... I hope this helps.
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Logan
USA
203 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2006 : 08:21:42
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I LOVE screaming in the car! And boy, I do enjoy saying the "f" word when I do; I often wonder if there's something about it, neurolinguistically, that makes it the ideal word for releasing anger. : )
When my life gets really busy and I get, predictably, angry about how I've overscheduled myself and about meeting all these expectations people have of me and that I have of myself, screaming in the car is the most convenient and expedient way to express anger.
I don't always have the time or privacy to beat something up and scream at home. And you know, what could be more American than multitasking in the car?
quote:
Originally posted by kether
Hi Penny, I would reccommend reading FACING THE FIRE by JOHN LEE for anyone who needs to learn how to release their anger. Here are a few suggestions from that book.....
Scream in the Car - as loud, long & hard as you need to, the F-word is like magic....
Twist a Towel - discharge tension from your body into the towel....
Punch a Pillow - or punching bag, imagine someone's face if you want...
Beat a Mattress - with your fists or a plastic bat.
Break Glass - smash bottles or throw plates into the recycling bin or another safe place.
Temper Tantrum - full-bodied, kicking, screaming, flailing arms & legs (on soft mat or mattress)
Dance - Primitive, stomping, pounding, jumping...
 Don't forget to breathe....
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Redsandro
Netherlands
217 Posts |
Posted - 11/13/2006 : 12:50:50
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*kick
I know this is an older topic but it's rather interesting..
My sadness always diminishes by using it to write, journal, draw, make music.. but my anger does not go away like that.
Does somebody have other pointers on releasing the rage without being aggressive?
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Do not base your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. |
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Anger/rage to release
