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Kiki
Canada
1 Posts |
 Posted - 09/24/2006 : 19:15:43
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After suffering from debilitating back pain for 5 months now, I stumbled across Sarno's book HBP while I was looking for literature about meditations and relaxation techniques for back pain on amazon.com. While a CT scan showed a protruded disc at the T-10, the chiropractor I've been seeing has been trying to convince me for weeks that the disc bulge is completely benign and that my pain is related to what he called "the muscle spasm cycle."
I know a lot of people on this forum (I've been lurking since I read the book) think chiropractic treatment is useless, but after reading Sarno's book, it seems to me that the chiropractor is telling me essentially the same thing as Sarno: the reason I'm in pain is not because of the protruded disc (though, incidentally, the area in my back that has been causing me pain the longest and causing me the worst of the pain is EXACTLY the same spot where the disc bulge ended up being detected months later) but because my muscles are in constant spasm and constant tension. Sarno goes into more detail about how blood flow gets restricted to initiate the pain cycle.
Anyway, after reading hundreds of people who said that the techniques and principles contained in Sarno's book cured their chronic pain, I figured I had nothing to lose by reading it. I already believed that one's emotional state has the power to affect one's physical state, so Sarno's theories weren't much of a stretch for me to accept. I had already concluded on my own that the constant stream of negative emotions and emotional instability I was experiencing since the pain began (anger at being debilitated, frustration that every day I was in pain, fear that I would never get my life back, bouts of crying several times a day, panic attacks) was prolonging the pain cycle and making it worse, although like I said, I was openly demonstrating these emotions by crying all the time. After reading Sarno's book, I realized that when the pain first came on, I was at a pretty low point in my life -- I was in a career transition without stable employment or steady income and suffering some pretty serious feelings of inadequacy and disappointment in myself for my lack of professioal success at this juncture.
Anyway, it hadn;t really occured to me before that my emotional issues could have caused the pain in the first place until I read Sarno's book, although I already accepted that the constant cycle of the pain making me upset and angry and afraid was prolonging the agony.
Physiotherapy treatment had thus far proved useless, so I quit. Chiropractic treatment helped at first, but after about 2 weeks, the pain started up again and hasn't stopped since. I've been off work for 2 months, having initially concluded that I was suffering from RSI-related pain due to overuse of the computer, and not being able to get through a single working day without bawling episodes in the bathroom because of the debilitating pain.
I tried for several months at the beginning of this ordeal to just "keeping going as though nothing was wrong" and my pain only got worse.
I've read all these accounts of people who were healed in a matter of weeks just by rading Sarno's book. In the book, he says that recognizing and acknowledging your repressed emotions as the source of your pain, rather than a physical abnormality or structural issue, is the key to stopping the pain. But my pain has gotten even more intense in the last week and even though I have tried to face it by doing the movements and activities that cause me pain, telling myself there is nothing physically wrong with me, I haven't had any relief.
So my question is, now what? When will I get some relief? HOw long did it take you guys? Did your pain get worse before it ot better? Many of you talk about the "work you do" to confront your TMS, so is there anyone who can offer me some insight in where to start? It's really hard to stop obsessing about how much pain I am in when every moment of every day hurts. I am not even close to being ready to start working again when I can barely get through a day without caving in to the pain.
Sarno says we have to abandon all the physical crutches we use to deal with our pain, but is it really necessary to abandon the things (like ice packs, etc) that give me some relief from the pain, if only for a little while, and make life more bearable while I am going through this?
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Littlebird
USA
391 Posts |
Posted - 09/25/2006 : 01:15:59
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Hi Kiki,
I'm new here and new to the idea of TMS, although I've always felt that my pain problems were triggered by emotional stress, so I don't feel like I can really offer advice, but I would like to share some thoughts on your questions, because I got worse after learning of TMS.
When I first read The Divided Mind, about a month ago, I knew it was describing me, but as I tried to "talk to my brain" it seemed like my mind was resisting the idea of TMS with everything it had, because I felt worse and worse the more I thought about it. I had been trying to reduce one of my medications since before I read the book, but then had to put it back up to the old dose because of the increased pain.
I found this forum about three weeks ago and have learned some very helpful things from reading here. One of the points that I seem to be getting from reading the experiences here is that some people feel very strongly about abandoning anything that could work as a physical crutch while others may consider some of them to be appropriate in some circumstances.
My Fibromyalgia pain has improved some in the past week. A few days ago I had pain in my neck and upper back that felt like muscle spasm type pain, so I went ahead and used a heat pack for about 20 minutes, then took the pack off and tried to not let that pain interfere with my day. Before long I realized that the muscle spasm pain was gone. I don't feel that using the heat pack set me back in my efforts to identify and process the repressed emotions. It seems to me that the danger in using a crutch is in thinking that the source of the pain is a physical problem, rather than a method the brain is using to distract us from emotional pain. If we don't fall into thinking that the problem must be physical or this crutch wouldn't help, then I think maybe we could occassionally use something. I could be wrong, but I'm not going to toss out my heat pack just yet.
I've been getting the impression that while some people can read a book and get better overnight, some people need to dig into their repressed emotions through journaling and/or therapy, which seems to be a big part of the "work" that is mentioned. Although I've always been aware that my emotions were somehow causing my physical problems, being aware of the current problems hasn't been enough to cure me. I think I'll really have to do that digging to identify past emotional pain and to experience some of the grief that I've always repressed in my efforts to just keep moving forward.
I hope you'll find what works for you soon, so that you can start to feel some relief from your pain and stress. Don't give up! |
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sonora sky
USA
181 Posts |
Posted - 09/25/2006 : 10:24:00
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Hi kiki,
Welcome to the forum. The fact that your pain increased when you started to learn about TMS makes perfect sense. As littlebird says, your brain (mind, subconscious) is resisting. TMS is a trick the mind uses to protect and distract you from what it perceives to be a greater threat: deep-seeded emotional pain. So if you start to call it's bluff ("hey, mind, I know what you're up to!"), it will likely intensify the symptoms to try to convince you the physical pain IS what you should be paying attention to.
From my own experience and what I have read on several posts here, when people begin to learn about TMS, their pain often either intensifies or moves to a different location. Remeber, your mind is trying to trick you, but you can outsmart it! Just perservere and return to normal activity. Excercise really works. With my neck pain and stiffness, I try to excercise it out. At first, the TMS gremlin gets really angry and the pain intensifies, often leaving me with a headache after my workout and a stiffer neck than before I started. But after a few days of keeping at it, it eventually gives up.
In my opinion, if taking some painkillers or using a heating pad or ice pack will help you get you through the day (i.e. if this will allow you to resume normal activities), then do it. But try not to use it as a crutch. Ultimately, you don't need those remedies because your body is structurally sound; but if they help kick-start your recovery, why not?
Best,
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larkascending
Canada
26 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2006 : 06:37:42
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Hi Kiki,
My pain also increased as I began accepting the idea that my mind is causing it. My pain also moved around to different locations. I don't think there is anything wrong with using heat or ice to relieve your pain, especially if it means that you stop focusing on the pain and begin focusing on your emotions. You just have to consciously realize (even tell yourself as you apply the heat or ice) that your body doesn't need the ice or heat to heal or to be pain-free.
In my case, I relied heavily on natural anti-inflammatories - I was compeletely convinced that I couldn't survive the pain without them. I went to see a naturopath who convinced me to go off them cold turkey. The pain increased for about a week but then, guess what? I was in less pain than I was while on them. Sometimes it is hard to stop using these crutches on our own - if it weren't for that naturopath I might still be on those super expensive anti-inflammatories.
As for what you should do now:
1) keep reading the Sarno and buy other books on TMS as well in order to DEEPLY ingrain the TMS philosophies. We need to undo all that conditioning we've heard for so long that our bodies are damaged and causing our pain. I am currently reading Back Sense and I loved The Divided Mind. See tmshelp.com/books for other ideas.
2) Journal, journal, journal. Write your feelings and thoughts every day, both that you experienced today and those you've experienced in the past, old hurts, childhood experiences etc...
3) Consider psychotherapy. Unfortunately, here in Canada (I'm Canadian too!) we have no true TMS therapists but a 'regular' therapist open to mindbody connections can help as well.
Lark |
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now what? (suffering in Canada)
