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jrnythpst
USA
134 Posts |
 Posted - 08/10/2006 : 07:42:47
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Greetings all, I haven't been reading or posting on here for several weeks now. I wanted to get all my ducks in a row, finish some reading of some books mentioned on here, and try to figure myself out without being biased by things posted on the board.
That being said, I finished the Divided Mind, and Facing the Fire, further the night after I finished Facing the Fire there was a segment on Oprah (which I rarely watch) that totally backed up what the book had said and almost made me cry out loud.
I have been picking boyfriends based on their voicing my inner thoughts of myself. I grew up with poor self esteem and even though I "thought" I was better and had gotten over it, my choice in men clearly said otherwise. I picked those that would put me down and try to make me feel inferior. But as they say in the GI JOE cartoon, now I know and knowing is half the battle.
I found out my ex boyfriend and his girlfriend have a child together now and have grown up a lot. At first I was utterly disgusted and upset that he should lead a better life than I am after what all he did to me. The truth is though, I am mad at myself more than anything else. He didn't make me stay with him, he didn't make me quit art, he didn't make be bed-ridden for two months in which time the inflammation in my knees became so bad that it "fused" my legs at an angle. I have spent the past 4 years blaming him and even had a repeat relationship with someone just like him!!!! Boy have my eyes ever been opened.
I wrote 4 pages in my journal (after not writing for a month or so) last night about this epiphany and I felt invigorated and alive mentally for the first time in I don't know how long. I have a plan, I know what I need to do. Now my friends, all I need is a little encouragement along the way to help me keep to this path.
Anyway just thought I would post an update for those of you still new or for those oldie but goodies that need something more than griping to read (though the griping is very therapeutic, at least for me anyway and I have done my fair share on here).
Wish me luck. I will peruse the site on occasion to check on updates and post thoughts where I deem necessary.
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
Edited by - jrnythpst on 08/10/2006 07:43:09 |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2006 : 11:17:45
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The Best of Luck, Ali Cat!!!! You are on the right track! God bless you..
Hugs,
Karen |
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2scoops
USA
386 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2006 : 14:48:39
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| You are on the right track, keep it up and thinking that way. THe fact that you had that aha moment means you are on the road to recovery. Judging by a lot of the posts of late, youron of the few that seem to get it. Keep working at it. |
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Allan
USA
226 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2006 : 15:16:52
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Has your neck pain gone?
Are you in pain now?
Allan. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2006 : 16:23:07
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Glad to hear you are doing so well. Hope things continue to improve for you!
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 08/10/2006 : 19:33:03
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Nice Work! Don't blame yourself for picking the wrong guys. Instead ask yourself why you chose those guys that treated you badly. There's bound to be a good reason why you chose the way you did.
I think "Facing the Fire" is a must read for TMS'ers! Keep up the good work. |
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An epiphany of kinds or an Aha moment
