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 Repression?
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flyefisher

48 Posts

Posted - 07/25/2006 :  00:15:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Man, all kinds of stuff start coming to the foreground with this TMS thing. I noticed that a few years ago I started to brush things off as they happen rather than getting all wound up. But then I also notice that I often wake up in the middle of the night thinking about them. I try to put them aside and let it go. I've noticed that I can actually forget things this way.

But now I'm thinking this may be contributing to the TMS. This has been a pattern for a few years now. I repeatedly wake up in the middle of the night worrying about things. It's like I try to stuff the things in there but then they get all garbled in the subconscious. But I have no idea what to do with them since I've been behaving this way for a while now... Is it better to consciously worry about them and see them through, rather than trying to be Mr. Mellow about it? Maybe being Mr. Mellow is actually just creating repression, even though on the surface it seems like you're a more calm, in control person.

wolf29

USA
108 Posts

Posted - 07/25/2006 :  09:29:24  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I think it can be just as good to know it's happening and you don't have to let all this repression out. If you can without it affecting you, or others, in a negative manner then good. I feel I've found some of my repressed anger issues but going off on the things or people that I feel may have caused that, may just make things worse as I would then feel guilty.

So for me, knowing why I have repressed anger has helped as I'm feeling much better. I am usually pretty laid back guy as well and people think nothing bothers me. If they only knew how much I bottle up Now I try to acknowledge it but not act out on it or if I act out on it it's in a constructive way. Exercise for example.
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jrnythpst

USA
134 Posts

Posted - 07/25/2006 :  10:06:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I agree with wolfe and am much like both of you guys. I have had people ask me how I stay sane in such an insane work environment. I have had people ask me how I can treat everyone as equal no matter their disposition. I bottle things up tremendously. Had a set back today, was starting to feel better on prednisone (I have extreme inflammation on my knees and that will take care of it) but today have had some back and hip issues, I don't like my job and I began reading the John Lee book on Facing the Fire this morning, only read the intro but I think it made the TMS rear it's ugly head harder today. I am trying to work through it. Debating on applying for a position that I know pays less but will lend me closer to my end goal and enable me to start back towards my masters again, just not sure I could pay my bills if I was offered it. I have until the 31st to apply, still debating. Trying to find out pay scale first to see if feasible. Anyway I agree with ya and hope you find relief. I am most of the way through the Divided Mind and it speaks to some of the stuff that Fly mentioned. Take care.



Hugs,
Ali Cat
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flyefisher

48 Posts

Posted - 07/25/2006 :  10:21:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Yeah, since I had a kid I've tried to bottle up my anger. I had problems in the past with the volcano effect... But I feel the need to be calm and collective to set a good example for my child. I think, however, I am repressing it now. That's not good and neither are the volcano outbursts I used to have. I now am faced with developing better coping methods than before.
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tennis tom

USA
4749 Posts

Posted - 07/25/2006 :  10:25:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If you wake up in the middle of the night it IS bothering you. You need to resolve the situation to the satisfaction of your mind--other wise it will get repressed and become part of that unconscious mass of noise that the gremlin hides behind. The gremlin creates pain to prevent us from focusing on our problems and solving them.

The gremlin enjoys watching us stumble through our lives, blindly f---ing up at every turn. You can reduce the size of this mass of painful noise, signifying nothing, by dealing with each life situation, with conscious attention and resolving it to the BEST of your ability. The resoultion can be through conscious action--the American way--or internal acceptance--the Eastern way.

The more things you resolve... the more confident you feel...the more things you resolve...the more confident you feel...the more things you resolve...the more confident you feel...then you go to sleep at night, and you don't wake up in a cold sweat, because you know, you did the best, that YOU could do, that day. The next morning it starts all over again--darn it--it's the American way.
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h2oskier25

USA
395 Posts

Posted - 07/25/2006 :  14:09:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Great post TT.

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one." - Albert Einstein


Thanks for our daily dose of it.

Beth
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