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jrnythpst
USA
134 Posts |
 Posted - 07/19/2006 : 13:50:35
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I hate the job and I hate my pain and my job contributes to my pain but I can't afford a pay cut and can't really job search/interview with as much pain and inability to move much...vicious cycle I tell you and I hate it!!!!
I know the job isn't the sole source for my pain but it sure doesn't make it any easier that's for sure. I hate it hate it hate it. Did I mention I hate it? I feel like I am in a catch 22.
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2006 : 14:20:56
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Ali,
My heart goes out to you..Dr. Sarno talks about what's to be done when we can't change the stress in our lives, which is to change the way we respond to it. Im not sure he says exactly this in so many words, but I know the basic idea is valid..
I know that probably doesn't feel particularly helpful at the moment. There also comes a point where if something is truly affecting your health in a negative way you should probably reevaluate. We usually have more options than we think...
I wish I had something better for you Ali, but it's all I can come up with at the moment...Hope it's in some way helpful////
A |
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jrnythpst
USA
134 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2006 : 14:46:15
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Thanks ARt, maybe it will eventually help but not gonna lie and say it does at the moment. I found a note from when I spoke to the doctor (intern) when I had xrays done on lower back and legs. Not sure if he is referring to xryas or knees or just outward appearance in the comments I wrote down but he said the following:
1. Loss of joint space (I still wonder compared to what and I don't know what the space looked like when I was "normal")
2. Back of pelvis had arthritis in
3.major joint disease
4. chronic deformaty in knees
5. contractures
6. previous damage
The odd thing is the initial doc said my bad knees were due to jumping on the trampoline but the knees felt better at that time, it was when I quit (trampoline was old, started falling apart) that the pain really started up there.
It just all seems so helpless right now. I am usually upbeat and try to see the good in everything but that bubble has burst right now. Just so down right now. I don't know where to go or which way to turn, there is much more to how I feel trust me but not enough time or energy to type it all here.
I need help overcoming the "why me?" and the "I probably deserve the pain" mentality. Anyone else successfully overcome these two things?
Ali Cat
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2006 : 15:21:27
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Hi Ali cat,
I am sorry you are feeling this way, and I understand you totally...I am also living in a place I do not want to be living in and trapped in several areas of my life due to finances and the TMS pain...All i can say is something my mom always told me..."THIS TOO SHALL PASS!" Art is right, it is how we respond to things that matters...I am constantly working on this...there is no quick fix..How I wish there were..Catch 22's are the pits..
Hugs,
karen |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2006 : 16:52:53
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quote:
The odd thing is the initial doc said my bad knees were due to jumping on the trampoline but the knees felt better at that time, it was when I quit (trampoline was old, started falling apart) that the pain really started up there.
Ali, you've got so much going on. Have you seen a TMS doc?
It's very interesting that the knees got worse when you stopped using them. |
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jrnythpst
USA
134 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2006 : 17:19:42
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Yes well kind of. He diagnoses and helps with TMS but is technically a rheumy. He's the one that introduced me to this site and to TMS. I see him tomorrow to discuss the mris.
Hugs,
Ali Cat |
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wolf29
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2006 : 09:17:59
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Hope you feel better. I can understand the viscous cycle. Many of us wish we could do something else for a living. Of course it's never too late to make changes but I understand about taking a pay cut and so on. I'd love to be doing something else but can't afford to at as my job pays the bills and allows for some nice things in our lives. As long as I keep that in mind, it's not so bad. Not that my job is unbearable, but it's just that.. a job.
I've also noticed the less I used, or babied, the area that was hurting (lower back) the more pain I got as Art pointed out. I've stopped that now and am challenging myself to do the things I feared. At some point we all have to say enough is enough and challenge ourselves and the pain.
As long as you believe it's TMS what's the worst that can happen? You hurt more but you'll know it's not life threatening. Of course others have it worse with TMS and I think the fear of doing something physical is worse than the outcome will ever be so those people have to take baby steps but definitely need to take steps or they will be trapped by their own fears.
Feel better 
Jay |
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Viscious cycle
