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leonard
USA
33 Posts |
 Posted - 06/29/2006 : 16:12:34
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I saw Dr. Leonard Weiss recently in Atlanta . He is on the list of tms doctors and I was really excited about seeing him. Long story short , I received no physical examination , was asked a lot of questions , and received a prescription for Zoloft which I took for 3 days and then decided I would rather not live my life out as a Zombie.
The next day I looked up John Lee on the web and found that he lived only 3 hours from me in Alabama. I made an appointment to see him 5 days later and was fortunate to spend two hours with him. For the first time he was able to draw some of the anger and rage out of me , and I'm starting to feel better and less inhibitive about FEELING my anger and not holding back. He was quite remarkable.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2006 : 16:17:05
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Hi Leonard,
That is great that you are feeling better..Can you please tell me more about John Lee...Is he a MD or a psychotherapist...and has he trained under DR. Sarno and does he do phone consults...
Thanx,
Karen |
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altherunner
Canada
511 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2006 : 19:22:01
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| I have read most of John Lee's books, and bought a couple for friends with conscious anger. I think he helped me very much , and I enjoyed his books. He is a good writer. |
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leonard
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 15:43:46
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Excuse me for not responding to my post . I went on a trip and just returned last evening.
I did want to describe what happened with the two hours spent with John Lee , but first I should tell you of my history and why I went to see him. I have been dealing with tms for around 8 years now beginning with an episode of terrible back and leg pain in 1998. I fortunately read "Healing Back Pain " and applied Sarno's techniques and greatly improved. I had other equivalents and some went away and others were helped. I would describe my TMS as minimal in 1999 , and had gone back to biking, swimming , and playing tennis.
From 1999 to 2004 there were several deaths in my immediate family ; grandfather , father , mother , uncles , aunts, plus my best friend's suicide . I took care of all the financial dealings as well as the caring involved.
After I took my mom to the hospital in late 2003 I began to have chest discomfort and went to the ER and after tests was given a diagnosis of anxiety. She died soon after , but my anxiety remained.
Since that time I have journaled , grieved , and tried to apply what I've learned from Dr. Sarno's books. Grieving has not been a problem , but feeling the anger that is in me has. That is the main reason that I went to see John Lee.
I met him at a hotel in Mentone , Ala. and followed him to his property in a rural area about 20 minutes outside of Mentone where his house and separate studio are. The session started with him asking me why I came , and I began telling him of my life and family dynamics. As soon as I said something like, " And he pissed my off " ! , he grabbed a chair and shoved in in front of me and exclaimed , TELL HIM HOW PISSED OFF YOU ARE , HE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!" I started talking loudly ( but still in my mind) and John kept cajoling ( TELL HIM WHAT AN A-HOLE HE WAS) me until I was crying and yelling obscenities at the imagined father in front of me. IT WAS WIERD BECAUSE I WOULD KEEP CATCHING MYSELF BEFORE REALLY LOSING IT . John could tell I was holding back and as we talked further and did similar cursing at other family members , he said it was important to break through my inhibition if only for a few seconds. I told him about my brother who I loved so much who had died of cancer when I was 20 and he 21. I CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW DIFFICULT THIS WAS BECAUSE THE ONLY EMOTION I HAVE EVER FELT WITH HIM IS GRIEF! JOHN TOLD ME TO TELL HIM HOW MAD I WAS THAT HE HAD ABANDONED ME! SUDDENLY , BUT WITHOUT OBSCENITIES, I WAS CRYING AND YELLING AT MY DEAD BROTHER FOR LEAVING ME AND HOW PISSED OFF I WAS BECAUSE I HAD NOBODY TO TALK TO ANYMORE THAT I REALLY LOVED, AND HOW MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT IF HE HADN'T LEFT ME !...... It took a while to calm down after that..... but then he put my grandfather in front of me who had left my father when he was 5 years old. THAT IS WHEN I FINALLY LOST IT AND WENT OUT FROM MY MIND FOR SEVERAL SECONDS.I USED A FEW WORDS THAT I HAD FORGOT I KNEW , AND THEY SEEM TO FLOW OUT OF ME EASILY AND WITH REAL MALICE ! ..... John told me after I had really raged for 15 to 30 seconds.
He hugged me as I was leaving , and meant it. I have no guilt from what I did or said. It was a wonderful experience and I'm planning on going to the Mentone meeting in November and I have contacted another facilitator closer for sessions because Mentone took me about 4 hours to reach.
I believe it is very rare to reach or purge the rage that exists in most of us, although there is a deep desire in some of us to try and do so. It isn't important for many to recover from TMS for the knowledge that the rage exists is sufficient. For me , my grief and anger are so overwhelming that just feeling it has helped me. My inhibition not to feel it is I'm afraid I may die if I do. I was drained after those two hours I spent with John Lee , but I also felt great. I've been trying to draw the anger out on my own and twice have been successful ; you know , throwing pillows, punching bags , but having a helper is much better.
For those who are new to TMS , please don't let my experience affect your recovery. I believe that most do not have to spend the time I have. What has happened in my life has been terrible , from being run over by a truck when I was 5 to being physically and emotionally abused by my father . I've always survived , and thanks are given to the appropriate party daily for my life.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 16:05:54
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| WOW Leonard, Thank you for sharing that with us..I am so sorry you went through all of that...It really touched home for me because I have dealt with Many loved ones dying prematurely on me as well...I won't go into every detail because this will get long, but I will say I lost the LOML when I was 19 and still think of him and miss him all the time..Sometimes I think i never married because no one could measure up to Dennis...I lost both parents 16 years ago..they were only in their 60's and I miss them terribly...If I had my own family (husband and kids) I think it might be a little easier to deal w/ all the losses...I wish I could afford to go to Lee in person as well...I have done some pillow punching, screaming w/ a bat, etc..in seminars in the past..and under the anger always came tears...I am a little concerned aobut the physical aspect of expressing anger that way while my neck is still like this...So I have been focused more on feeling the sadness in therapy and on my own..I even got a few very sad movies in the hopes i could decrease that reservoir inside... |
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leonard
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 16:55:17
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Thanks S/A . Your losses are deep as well. To pursue them I've learned is not self pity , but an important part of healing. Many would not understand , you know , "the past is the past " and similar stupid sayings. I would have said the same probably as well , but when losses and other crap add up , you either take pills or confront them.
I forgot to ask a question. Have any of you felt a sudden reduction of symptoms after an anger or grief session. It is quite rmarkable for me , my anxiety will wash away for quite a while after a session , and my leg which sometimes is problematic will seem to come back to life for a time after getting it out. |
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bdystore
18 Posts |
Posted - 07/10/2006 : 23:25:36
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quote:
Originally posted by leonard
I forgot to ask a question. Have any of you felt a sudden reduction of symptoms after an anger or grief session. It is quite rmarkable for me , my anxiety will wash away for quite a while after a session , and my leg which sometimes is problematic will seem to come back to life for a time after getting it out.
Yes, to your question. I went through psychotherapy on and off for about 5yrs. I was in my late 20's and it was very cathartic. But, it was a bit addictive too. For me, the feeling of being so completely empty was heaven on earth. So, there were times when I did not take responsibility for my feelings until I met with my therapist.
Emotional stuff can build up so quickly and it is so easy to turn it in on oneself or lash out towards a loved one or complete stranger. It seems that many on this board, myself included, turn the emotions inward where they end up doing most of the damage.
Today, I have a daily ritual; I check in periodically during the day just to see where I'm emotionally. I journal or turn the feeling into a simple thought and repeat it over and over again until my mind releases some little insight. I try to have a plan of action for the day and follow it. It keeps me in the moment.
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2006 : 08:39:38
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Great reply bdystore...It needed to hear that...thank you... |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2006 : 11:06:58
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Good program Bdystore,
thanks for sharing.
tt |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2006 : 12:47:52
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John Lee wrote a great book called
"Facing the Fire"
I know it's been mentioned before on this site, but bears repeating.
I especially like his view that other Psychotherpists recommend trying to understand anger, but he believes that doesn't help. Anger must be experienced, and it helps to experience it physically.
I got a couple of sore pillows in my house . . .
Beth |
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bdystore
18 Posts |
Posted - 07/11/2006 : 22:22:12
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quote:
Originally posted by h2oskier25
John Lee wrote a great book called
"Facing the Fire"
I know it's been mentioned before on this site, but bears repeating.
I especially like his view that other Psychotherpists recommend trying to understand anger, but he believes that doesn't help. Anger must be experienced, and it helps to experience it physically.
I got a couple of sore pillows in my house . . .
Beth
Never could get into beating up a couple of pillows. Instead, I found a very good bodyworker who did some excellent deep tissue work on me. She also introduced me to the body/mind connection. Her message to me over and over again: You create your reality with your thoughts. Your world is a reflection of your beliefs. Change a belief, change your world. That was a tough pill to swallow. Eventually, I got very good at creating my "own reality". I found Dr Sarno's book a little bit later. He just reinforced her message.
Right On Leonard!!!
Thank you TT
Thanks Beth |
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soundsgoodtome
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2009 : 21:31:58
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quote:
Originally posted by leonard
The next day I looked up John Lee on the web and found that he lived only 3 hours from me in Alabama. I made an appointment to see him 5 days later and was fortunate to spend two hours with him. For the first time he was able to draw some of the anger and rage out of me , and I'm starting to feel better and less inhibitive about FEELING my anger and not holding back. He was quite remarkable.
I'm new to the forum. I have TMS (receiving treatment in Los Angeles), and I believe my mother in Alabama does, as well. I see "John Lee" mentioned, here, as a therapist in Alabama -- but with no contact info!
A Google search for "John Lee" and "TMS" has, so far, only pointed me to a John Lee in Malaysia. Has he moved? |
Edited by - soundsgoodtome on 03/10/2009 21:33:00 |
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soundsgoodtome
USA
4 Posts |
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positivevibes
204 Posts |
Posted - 03/10/2009 : 23:32:16
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Wow Leonard, thank you for sharing your story!
Anger and grief are such weird things. I have a lot of issues with my past, and people in myh past, that I'm finally starting to address and it is HARD. The natural reaction is to recoil, because it's so unpleasant and scary! It's terrific that Dr. Lee could help you have such a great breakthrough!
I've been in Dr. Schubiner's TMS program for one week now (online). I very unexpectedly uncoverered an issue I didn't even know existed from my childhood, and began sobbing and sobbing. My back pain was a lot better afterward. I think that the release of deep seated emotions plays a very important role in this process.
Thank you for describing your session in such great detail. I think it's really helpful to hear what someone went through in this type of situation! |
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scottjmurray
266 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2009 : 14:02:52
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Man, I totally want to hang out with John Lee after reading this.
~*~
author of tms-recovery . com |
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Weiss and Lee
