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shari
USA
85 Posts |
 Posted - 06/27/2006 : 09:53:52
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| Like other members on this forum I'm still searching deep into my early life to uncover that fear or anger that's still causing me pain. So far the most difficult one to recognize has been regressed rage against my parents, because guilt prevented me from thinking negatively about them. Forcing myself to overcome guilt and recall specific moments when I had to repress my anger has helped me a great deal, so I wanted to share this with those who, like me, are still struggling to find that hidden fear or leftover piece of rage that's still causing us pain. |
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shocksystems
USA
8 Posts |
Posted - 06/27/2006 : 10:55:03
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Shari:
Can you share more? Is a therapist helping you determine this? Has it yet resulted in a reduction in pain? I am trying to identify my repressed rage as well. I thought I identified some, I expressed strong emotions about something I didn't even realize was bothering me. It related to my relationship with my family as well. So far though I have not seen a reduction in pain.
I am interested in hearing how things progress for you.
Cheers!
Jim |
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shari
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - 06/27/2006 : 12:00:45
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| Jim – Be patient and persistent. Once you idendify the emotions, you must experience them again. I go through my "lists" as advised by Dr. Sarno in The Mindbody Prescription, and I meditate on specific situations and try to experience the emotions again and on how they affected my life and personality. I also focus on specific personality traits, particularly those that trigger strong emotions, and I try to find out why. I keep asking myself "why" until I find some kind of connection with childhood events or people who have affected me, particularly those with which I had strong emotional attachment, such as my parents or brother. I do this "self-psychoanalysis" twice a day for about half an hour in my quiet times, or whenever the pain kicks in. It's a difficult journey because there is so much our mind refuses to allow us to revisit. But that's the key to Dr. Sarno's prescription: we have to force ourselves to confront and experience again those emotions that are unpleasant, ugly, painful, shameful, embarrassing. Thinking about them is not enough, we have to experience them again. My pains have eased considerably for the past month with occasional setbacks. It's a slow process, always a struggle, but I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 06/27/2006 : 21:57:26
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Hi Shari,
I thought i saw a post on here wherein it said that you don't necessarily have to re-experience all the painful emotions stuck in the unconscious mind..You just have to acknowledge that they are in fact there and causing the TMS in the first place..I am almost certain about this..In fact, Dr. Sarno says that only in one of his patients did someone ever actually experience the feelings down deep inside directly...It is good to write about your emotions and definitely about your personality traits and life pressures..but Dr. S. says it is very rare to actually have a major catharsis wherein you feel it all again...
Take care,
Karen |
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shari
USA
85 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 12:49:01
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| Thank you slimmylou! This is no time for guilt or to be "goodists". We've got to get rid of our physical pains, then resume our regular activities and get rid of our fears. Once "cured" we can forgive and forget and think only about the good times we spent with our departed loved ones. But for now we're in a difficult but necessary journey. Hang in there. The dead can't read our minds. |
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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 18:39:40
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Shari,
Thanks for the good suggestion about how to bring to mind those old situations and emotions. I am feeling like I need to explore them a bit deeper now. I definitely have a lot of rage at my parents but have a lot of trouble contacting it. I forget which TMS book I read it in but it said something about "a girl who can't get mad at her father." Might have been the Divided Mind. Anyway, I thought: that's me.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
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miche
Canada
283 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2006 : 10:15:27
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| All my life I have sympathised with the people who have hurt me, made excuses for them , blamed their life's circumstances, the way they were brought up, their health problems, their insecurities, their fears, their unhappiness and frustrations. I always felt that people do not set out to hurt us for the most part, usually we just stand in the way of what they want to do, so how could I get angry at people I understood so well? I couldn't, until I realised that I could understand and forgive while still acknowledging the harm that these people have done to me. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2006 : 15:20:59
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quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
Hi Shari,
I thought i saw a post on here wherein it said that you don't necessarily have to re-experience all the painful emotions stuck in the unconscious mind..You just have to acknowledge that they are in fact there and causing the TMS in the first place..I am almost certain about this..In fact, Dr. Sarno says that only in one of his patients did someone ever actually experience the feelings down deep inside directly...It is good to write about your emotions and definitely about your personality traits and life pressures..but Dr. S. says it is very rare to actually have a major catharsis wherein you feel it all again...
Take care,
Karen
This is one of my hot buttons that periodically gets pushed because I've had to feel it to see improvement. Perhaps i'm the minority but I don't see why folks struggling with TMS should rule out that they may need to feel hidden emotions to get relief.
I've found inner child work extremely helpful in dealing with the inevitable guilt that comes up when facing feelings of rage. You can take care of your own inner child and give him/her the love and support to verture out of hiding with their emotions. |
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jgluski
27 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2006 : 19:17:46
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Hey Miche,
Your personality traits and mine are one in the same. I know alot of us TMS folks give and give and give... letting ourselves become doormats sometimes.
I have always tried to please everyone. I'm gonna stop that. |
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Topic |
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Sharing fears and rages
