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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
 Posted - 06/24/2006 : 10:12:58
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Something strange and potentialy damaging to the integritiy of this forum happend. A whole thread, started by Peter Mackay has disappeared. I assume that only Dave has the power to do this. It's his forum lock, stock and barrel. Dave was nice enough to keep it going after Austin Gary pulled out.
Peter took objection that anyone would have the temerity to disagree with him. And, when he was proven wrong, he erased the evidence of his original message and then hid behind the, "I can attack you, but you can't attack me defense--because I have TMS and am suffering".
Well, we all have TMS here, have had TMS, or will have it. Actually, I'm proabaly in better shape than most here, because I just overcame a serious TMS equivalent, "a significant depressive state", and am willing to help others with my hard earned and fought for TMS "cure" experiences.
TMS pain comes from repressing the unpleasant experiences of life. You get rid of it by facing them head-on and gaining the internal confidence that YOU are responsible for your MINDBODY well being.
In the real world there are confrontations. I don't see why, if people on this board have disagreements, the evidence should be expunged. This is intellectually and scientificly dishonest. The TRUTH in science is gained through the rigourus confrontation of ideas until the unvarnished facts are left.
When I went to the shrink for my depression, he sensed I wasn't being honest about what was bothering me. He said to me, we're wasting our time. I had the choice of quitting and not doing the hard work. I made the hard choice of sticking it out, and got better.
If, all this forum is going to be about is, feel-good chat, then I think it is going to be a waste of time and everyone would be better off reading their Sarno instead. If we can honestly discuss and debate our thoughts and feelings, without running and hideing, when our feet are ocassionally, held to the fire, then I think it could serve a valuable purpose.
"Your enemy, who tells you the truth, is a better friend, then your friend, who lies to you." |
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miche
Canada
283 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2006 : 13:41:16
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| Let's not forget about freedom of speech which is everyone's right , everyone has a story to tell, this is what makes life interesting, at the end of the day sometimes one has to agree to disagree, personnally I find the debates fascinating, would it not be the most boring experience to have everyone agree with each other all the time, I would call this a loss of growth potential. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2006 : 17:31:17
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Messages are rarely deleted from this forum.
I delete threads only when they disintegrate into personal attacks or are way off topic.
My intent was not to expunge evidence. There have long been heated debates on this forum, going way back to my own "confrontations" with the original moderator, Gary. Disagreements are part of any forum, and I encourage people to express their opinions, even in a spirited manner.
However, there is a line between a strongly worded opinion and a personal attack. Peter crossed that line. At that point I decided the entire thread was not consistent with the policy of this forum.
For the record, Tom, I saw no problem with your replies. Those who are offended when their ideas are questioned should look within themselves to see where those emotions are coming from.
Regarding freedom of speech, let's keep in mind that this is not an open board for general discussion and debate. It is a moderated forum focusing on TMS and related topics. I urge everybody to click the Policy link at the top of this page to learn what is and is not appropriate for discussion here. If you do not agree with the policy, feel free to visit other websites instead.
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2006 : 18:46:04
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Dave, thanks for the clarification, it is greatly appreciated.
Regards,
tt |
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Singer_Artist
USA
1516 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2006 : 19:05:07
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| This forum is wonderful..It has already helped me so very much since the short time I have been on here...I am right smack in the middle of a very bad bout of TMS in my neck...I look so forward to all of your insightful and compassionate replies to my posts...And...more importantly, I look forward to the day the worst is behind me so i can start helping others who suffer as well... |
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miche
Canada
283 Posts |
Posted - 06/24/2006 : 22:12:53
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| Re: freedom of speech, Dave , I understand that you want this forum to concentrate on tms, what you said was sufficient for me to get your point, there was no need to invite me to look at other sites, I am not a child , and I do not like to be talked down to. Sufficient for me to say that you do not need to bother uttering any more threats as I will not be visiting this site anymore. I want to thank all the other people who have answered my posts, you have all been kind and helpful and I appreciate your input, good luck to all of you. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2006 : 00:09:22
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Come on Miche, don't go away mad. Dave's a good guy. You're being TMS over sensitive. Come back. We need you and it will be good for you to stick around. You have something to contribute. Get a good night's sleep and PLEASE COME BACK for me. Even Peter and I have become close pen-pals. Dave was just being adminiseterial and trying to keep law and order.
Your TMS Pal,
tt |
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Susie
USA
319 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2006 : 07:39:09
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| I have been on this forum for a long time. There have been many disagreements. Austingary argued with everyone about everything. I have read Tom's and Dave's posts for years and have never found anything meanspirited about either. They can be very challenging and some have challenged me on several occasions and I must admit that those challenging me were right. I was really surprised when I was confronted but it gave me pause to think. It made me see a new side to my arguments instead of just my side. Some of us come to this forum feeling really horrible and looking for understanding and help. Sometimes the help has to be in the nature of "get a grip" rather then "poor you". I feel Dave has always been fair and basically tries to maintain the forum's focus on tms. Tom is always entertaining and I think some of you have misinterpeted his humor. For my 2 cents, you all need to quit being so darn sensitive and procede with helping those looking for help. If you have a problem with a member, simply don't read their posts. |
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2006 : 08:28:06
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quote:
Originally posted by miche
I am not a child , and I do not like to be talked down to.
What makes you think I was talking to you? How did you interpret my message as a threat?
I have no patience for people who choose to read their own emotions into text messages. If anyone has a thin skin, they can choose to ignore those messages that they find offensive, or to stop visiting this site.
I keep this forum going with my own time and money. I'd like to think that a majority of members enjoy it and benefit from it. If it becomes like other public forums with "flame wars" and personal attacks, it no longer serves its purpose. There are plenty of other places on the Internet you can go if you're into that stuff.
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Carolyn
184 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2006 : 09:38:46
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I credit this forum, in large part, with giving me back my life. It was the extra thing I needed in addition to Sarno's books to really understand what was causing my pain and figure out how to diffuse it. There are so many people out there that it has helped- probably many many who don't post so we don't hear from them. It is ludicrous to say "The board has turned into something really nasty and has no use for those seeking relief". Just don't read the posts that turn into arguments between two people and if you are one of the two people- just stop replying and the argument ends there. We TMS sufferers are perfectionists and often times have a strong need to be right so you're not going to ever 'win' an argument.
One thing I learned in my brief time in therapy is that you are not responsible for other people's emotions and likewise they are not responsible for yours. Someone else cannot 'Make you angry' - you chose how to interpret what they say and generate your own anger. Even if someone is goading you and trying to make you angry- the choice is still yours. Peter seems to be in an overly sensitve state right now. He is probably in pain -managing a whole bunch of inner turmoil and using this confrontation as a way to vent it. Sometimes becoming aware of when your behavior becomes a little childish can be a clue into what is really bothering you. We should certainly support him if he decides to come back but the choice to storm away hurt is his and he needs to work through it.
Carolyn |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2006 : 09:53:09
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quote:
Originally posted by PeterMcKay
Dave and Tom are driving people away one person at a time. As of today I will not be back either. The board has turned into something really nasty and has no use for those seeking relief.
I request the moderator to delete all my past postings and cancel my account.
Hi Peter,
So, you are taking your ball and going home. You will be the loser for abandoning this board. Closing your account--now that is REALLY FUNNY--I guess you will be demanding a refund from Dave, putting a stop payment on your checks, file a challenge with VISA INTERNATIONAL. You are exhibiting typical yuppie behavior--you demand all your RIGHTS and take none of the RESPONSIBILITES of being a board member.
As far as "nasty", your e-maile to me last night were truly NASTY. I will save you the embarrasment and not repeat them here. I expect more from you Peter. I found your e-mails quite amusing actually. If you wish to insult me, I would hope you would be more creative, rather than reducing yourself to the common vernacular, worthy of a drunken sailor.
Peter, I suggest you start your own board. You could call it Peter's TMS Board. For your edification, there are several other boards that deal with TMS. They are at Tarpit Yoga and Monte Hueftle's. Perhaps you would be happier there.
Regards,
"Your American A-Hole",
(as you so charminly phrased it in your e.mail),
tt  |
Edited by - tennis tom on 06/25/2006 10:52:46 |
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miche
Canada
283 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2006 : 11:45:12
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| DAVE, yes I felt you were talking to me as I am the one who mentionned freedom of speech, strange, I am known for always being gracious and never getting angry so I gave thought to the fact that your message riled me so much , it was an eye opener as far as what may lay at the bottom of my tms, what I saw as a threat and why I became so defensive, all past issues of course, probably it has to do with the fact that as a child I was always threathened to be sent to boarding school if I disagreed with my mother about anything , also in my thirty year marriage there was always the subtle threat of being kicked out and told that I would end up on welfare if I objected to the complete control my husband exerted over me, so I read your invitation to visit other sites as not being able to have a voice again without being punished and took it out on you, sorry, and Tom, thank you buddy. |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2006 : 07:29:56
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quote:
The TRUTH in science is gained through the rigourus confrontation of ideas until the unvarnished facts are left.
No disagreement of course, but I can't help being amused nonetheless. |
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Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2006 : 10:16:18
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| Susie - I totally agree with you. Well stated! |
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Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2006 : 10:23:39
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| I think it's wonderful, Miche, that you gained that insight into your personality and the influence of earlier events in your life....That's another way this board can be helpful - assisting us with the self-analysis so necessary for progress in defeating our TMS symptoms. |
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miche
Canada
283 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2006 : 14:48:10
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| Thank you Fox, I appreciate your comments. |
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Nor
152 Posts |
Posted - 06/27/2006 : 07:32:26
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I agree w/you Carolyn. It takes a big person to see that and not react w/equally childish behavior. Peter, if you're lurking out there. I wish you the best.
Nor |
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Stryder
686 Posts |
Posted - 06/27/2006 : 08:10:16
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quote:
Originally posted by art
quote:
The TRUTH in science is gained through the rigourus confrontation of ideas until the unvarnished facts are left.
Art, that quote says it all. -Stryder |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 09:29:03
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I don't check in for a while, and apparently I missed something!
It's a forum, you read and post what you want and ignore the rest. We're all adults (at least I think we are), and we should act like it.
Personally, Tom, I enjoy your posts and your humor cracks me up.  |
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lfreeland
17 Posts |
Posted - 06/28/2006 : 10:55:04
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TIME OUT!
I don't post here much, but I do check in to read several times a week. Please don't spoil a good thing. Everyone is helpful in their own way on this site. Put this argument behind you and move on to helping others and yourselves with TMS issues.
Please. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2006 : 11:33:31
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quote:
Originally posted by Michele
I don't check in for a while, and apparently I missed something!
It's a forum, you read and post what you want and ignore the rest. We're all adults (at least I think we are), and we should act like it.
Personally, Tom, I enjoy your posts and your humor cracks me up.
[/quote]
_____________________________________________________________________
Hi Michele,
I came across your post from a few days ago, while trying in my "TMS Goodist", mode to help find some info for a fellow TMS'er.
What "resonated" with me was your statement that "...we are all adults and should act that way..."
I think you've hit on the core of the TMS cunumdrum. The part of our brain that creates the psychogenic, TMS physical symptoms, is NOT an "adult".
By not recognizing this vestigial, "inner-child" exists, and the crucial role it "plays" influenicng our waking and sleeping lives,
we miss the TMS point. Acceptance of our shadow side, I feel, is key to following the TMS yellow brick road.
By the way Michelle, was it you, that saw Dr. Schechter, in Bevedrly Hills, the same week I did, several years ago  .
If it was, you got the TMS white coat OK from him for your hip and I unfortunately, did NOT. It's taken me a long time to bring this up. If it's you, would you like to compare notes?
Regards,
tt |
Edited by - tennis tom on 07/03/2006 11:45:31 |
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This Forum is Going to be a Waste of Time....
