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armchairlinguist
USA
1397 Posts |
 Posted - 06/13/2006 : 17:26:31
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I know that it is not necessary to change my personality in order to be healthy -- thank goodness. Also I am mostly healthy already, without having done anything to change my beliefs except for the TMS keystones. But am not very happy at the moment, and I feel like it is coming from my intense self-criticism and perfectionism. My Schecter workbook page this morning asked how I might mitigate the self-criticism, but when I saw the question I was not sure of any answer, and realized it was a question I had been asking myself that I was getting sick of not having an answer to. I feel like if I had some strategies for this both my conscious self and my inner child would be happier and I would be less likely to see even temporary symptom recurrence (right now I get a mild recurrence most days).
Do any of you have ideas or experiences to share on how to work with perfectionism so it does not cause so many rage/TMS problems? I came up with one idea, which is to use the practice of tonglen (breathing with pain and sending out relief and compassion, both for self and others) in mindfulness meditation to bring up compassion, but I could sure use some others. |
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rickt
5 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2006 : 06:23:21
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Greetings,
I appreciate what you wrote here. In my experience, one of the keys to healing my pain (physical or emotional) is exploring resistance and acceptance. When I am in pain, if I can muster the consciousness, I try to discover what I am resisting in that moment. Then (and this is the challenging part) I try to accept whatever I am experiencing, rather than resist it. It is the resistance to what is that helps anchor the pain in my body.
If I am feeling self critical, I try to accept the feeling of being self critical. If I am feeling like a perfectionist, I try to accept what it feels like to be a perfectionist. I often use a simple technique created by Byron Katie <thework.com>. The title of Katie's book, Loving What Is, says it all.
A next step for me is to actually feel gratitude for what is. Feeling grateful for the pain...Imagine that!
Finally, keeping faith is the glue that kept me together during my process. I had one of the darkest days of my life the day before my pain lifted.
Of course you will succeed.
Good luck,
Rick |
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Working with perfectionism
