One of the biggest joys and stressors in my life are my two kids. (ages 7 & 9) I get anxious at times and also overwhelmed. I guess its the responsibility thing. I want to be the best dad I can be but at times I feel both resentment (always have to be on) and guilt. It's interesting that my pain emerged with the birth of my first born. I'm sure many of these thoughts are universal. How do you be a good parent and get over the pain thing????
The key is to allow yourself to acknowledge the huge ambivalence that parenthood causes! There are so many negative feelings: anger, resentment at responsibility, anxiety and resentment regarding the need to be a "perfect" parent, and on and on. The icing on the cake is the guilt about having these feelings in the first place. Start journaling, and let it all out, no matter how petty or selfish!
Why not taking them as a part of you. I am mother of two (2,5 &4). and the more I am dealing with them the more I lean about myself. If there were something to be repressed, they are showing by their behaviour what it could be. The moments they are screaming or getting cross, this is like therepy-my emotions were growing in exactly the same situations. But with all I have learnt I let them to scream and do all this tantrum, just for their health.
The good parent
Posted - 06/06/2006 : 20:14:24
