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Michele
249 Posts |
 Posted - 06/05/2006 : 12:11:51
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Confirming that my hip pain is arthritis, then finding Sarno, I've done pretty good. The pain has never really gone completely away, but I've soldiered on in spite of it. I actually ran a half marathon last November, but since then have steadily been losing ground. The pain, stiffness and immobility has increased 10-fold. I do not take any pain killers.
I am pre-menopausal so thought maybe my hormones were out of whack. They were and my NHRT was changed and I started the new stuff last Thursday.
I have been seeing a therapist since February 2005, and in June 2005 my husband and I started seeing her together. When we started as a couple, I was no longer able to discuss the relationship with the therapist when I went on my own. She has read Sarno and knows about TMS, and she's also my hormone consultant.
Which gets me to my dilemma. I'm tired of living with this hip pain. It has NOT moved around to different places. It has never totally left, but some days doesn't hurt as much as other days but is still there. This past weekend was horrible, my hips were on fire. I ran 3 miles on Saturday and biked 6 miles on Sunday. I was determined to keep going. I read more Sarno, journaled, but still had trouble sleeping, couldn't sit, couldn't stand, all because of the excruciating pain. It feels like my hips are broken, my legs just won't move. The only way to get on the bike was to lay it on the ground so I could lift my leg 6 inches to step over it.
I know I have alot of rage inside about my marital situation. But I can't say that I would be better off divorced. I don't think it would be a good idea to break up a family just to see if my pain goes away. After a year of marriage counseling, my husband is ready to give up (we've been to counseling before too). Problems started when I changed and set some boundaries, and started taking care of myself - all hell broke loose. (He's very needy.)
I have also journaled and worked through childhood sexual molestation. Although it is something you never forget, I feel like I've made huge progress with this.
In 2001 I was misdiagnosed with avascular necrosis of the hip by an MRI technician. I asked for a second opinion from an ortho, who said that wasn't it, but he saw a "stress response". So now after 5 years, I guess I'm worried that maybe that's what I've had all along. I can barely move now and I walk like I'm crippled. I am only 47 years old and NEED to be active. I am ready to place a call to an ortho doc I saw over a year ago who specializes in hip diseases. Maybe I just need to be told that I'm OK?
Suggestions? Kick in the arse? Help! Thank you. |
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marytabby
USA
545 Posts |
Posted - 06/05/2006 : 12:53:50
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| Assuming that the arthritis is not a real structural culprit (and at your age it's unlikely), sounds like you are aware of the TMS aspect and you have done good work with the concepts, etc. I guess the rage within you is probably festering or something. Maybe a try at the individual therapy separate from your marital couples therapy would help. Although it could be too much therapy to do both. The best thing I can do with myself is do the self-talk, keep reminding my subconcsious who is the boss. I usually can get it to work but right now I'm suffering too so whatever works for you, please share with us! Keep up the journaling and re-read the books. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2006 : 12:22:06
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| Have you tried physically expressing your anger/rage? -Screaming it out or beating something like a couch pillow? I believe John Lee has the right idea getting the anger out of the body. Really feels good afterwards. |
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tennis tom
USA
4749 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2006 : 01:36:02
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Hi Michele,
From a non-TMS perspective, I have found running in the pool to be very helpful in un-doing the "damage" I do on the tennis court. I bought an Aqua-Jogger belt and the "footies" that go with it over the internet.
I play mostly doubles for anywhere from 2-5 hours a day. Afterwards, I can't walk without holding on to the walls. I will run in the pool for a half hour to 45 minutes and then I can walk somewhat normally again with much less pain.
Hope this helps,
tt |
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Michele
249 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2006 : 07:45:20
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Thanks Tom! I've always wanted to try aqua jogging, we belonged to a pool every summer for the past 10 years. Wouldn't you know it, we didn't join this year.  |
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Need thoughts and/or suggestions
