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JBlockParty
Bolivia
1 Posts |
 Posted - 05/14/2006 : 19:39:22
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Hi.
I am a member of this board under another name I just don't want to post here for fear my exgirlfriend is reading this.
I experienced pains the minute she moved into my apartment and since then for about 2 years she has moved out but we see each other everyday.
We recently got into a fight and of course I am always to blame of it so she makes it seem and this time I did not want her back, yes I did experience some sadness but for the most part I had a great time without her for the last 4 days.
Is something wrong with me she said that I must not love her if I can be without her for 4 days.
She admited she made a mistake by dumping me and now wants me back, I am not sure I want to go back with her.
The pains I have been experiencing do not matter so I wont list them all I know is that Sarno and a surgeon told me they were TMS.
I have been having virtually little to no pain while I was away from her and this is the reason why I am so hestiant to want to get back with her.
Today we are meeting up and made plans to talk again! And the tms is back again and really bad.
I know this isnt the be all end all but I want to know from all of you out there how many people got rid of someone in there life while you suspected they caused you all this grief?
My Sarno appointed therapist tells me she was a trigger and not the cause but now I feel she is the cause.
Does any of this make sense can a relationship be so toxic? Every time she calls me before I feel like she was always going to break up with me there for when I always get calls from her I tense up and cant relax.
Its wierd when I thought we were broken up for good I breathed better I never had problems with breathing or lungs but when she left I felt like I can take deep breaths and that I wasnt stuck under water.
Now that we are meeting I feel like I cant breath so deeply so I guess this is a new tms symptom that I wasnt aware of until she left me.
What does everyone think?
Thank you for your time and compassion and I look foward to getting better with all of you. |
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allen_non
55 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2006 : 20:53:24
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JBlockParty,
My heart goes out to you, man. I certainly wouldn't propose to tell you what you should or should not do, but I was single till I was 30 (been married 13 wonderful years now). I had a lot of girlfriends before I met my bride. Some of the GF's were truly nice ladies that I just wasn't ready for, some others were real bundles-of-nerves. In my bad relationships, my thoughts tended to be, "if the relationship is this bad right now, when we're supposed to be trying to impress each other, what's it going to be like if we get married, and are no longer trying to impress each other?"
There's also the issue of "gut feelings", where your "insides" know more than your brain. In your case, you have a relationship which you already consciously know has had major problems, like a GF who can't make up her mind whether she wants to be with you or not. Then when you pull away, she suddenly decides she wants you back. I think your TMS may actually be trying to warn you about this situation. I'm not slamming your GF here either. Just from your description of the situation, especially after 2 years of getting to know each other, it doesn't sound like you two were "made for each other". If you had to change your name on a forum out of fear that a GF or ex-GF might read what you write, that's a big red flag about the relationship in my opinion.
My wife and I have been together for over 14 years (dating + married years) and we hardly ever fight. We don't always agree on everything, but we're on the same team working to resolve whatever the problem may be.
As long as you're in a bad relationship, you won't be able to spot the right girl when she does come along.
Just from what you've posted here, that's about the best I can come up with. Looks like you already have a very good idea of where a lot of your TMS is coming from. Nobody should make you have to feel like that.
My most humble 2 cents worth- hope it helps, even if just a bit.
Take care,
Allen |
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Ok heres the deal
