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vikki
95 Posts |
 Posted - 04/23/2006 : 22:49:27
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Hi all,
I really think the driving force behind my TMS is an obsession with health. I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about whether I'm eating the right food (a sufficient amount of of fruit/veggies, the right mix of protein/carbs/unsaturated fat), exercising in the right way (the right balance of cardio and strength training), and so on. As far as food goes, I'd say it's almost like an eating disorder. I'm not trying to be *thin* and I don't restrict the *amount* of food I eat. (In fact, if I ever find I've lost weight, I start worrying about becoming underweight and developing health problems from that.) I just have a phobia of unhealthy food. I think this partly comes from my fear of getting older -- I want to stay young and healthy forever. Another part comes from my perfectionism -- no matter what it is, I just have to get it completely, precisely *right.*
I realize that it's important to be concerned about one's health, eat a healthy diet, and exercise. But I take it to an extreme, and I *know* it's not healthy. Every time I see a commercial or a public service announcement on eating a healthy diet or exercising, it causes me to feel an incredible amount of anxiety. I have a friend who is trying to lose weight -- she saw a nutritionist and joined a gym. She feels great and it's terrific for her, but every time she talks about it, I start obsessing about whether *I'm* eating a healthy diet and exercising enough. (And of course, anxiety is *bad* for your health, which causes me even more anxiety.)
This obsession makes me forcus way too much on my body and any physical symptoms that I feel, and on health warnings I hear (like the warning that high impact exercise causes injuries or that running on concrete is bad for you). Basically, it turns me into a hypochondriac -- and it feeds right into my TMS. It's also sucking all the fun out of activities I love, like running or enjoying a meal at an interesting restaurant.
Can anyone relate to this? Any advice on how to break free from this obsession? I've slowly been forcing myself to do unhealthy things -- for example, eating a piece of cake without knowing how much trans fat it contains. I've gotten better about the food thing. But there's always *something* health related that worries me.
Thanks for listening,
Vikki |
Edited by - vikki on 04/23/2006 22:55:11 |
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wrldtrv
666 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2006 : 00:19:31
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Yes, yes, yes! Vikki, read some of my previous posts. I know exactly what you are talking about because I am the same. I am trying to change, but it sure isn't easy. Years of increasing obsession about health (made worse by getting older) is a tough thing to turn around. But I think I've been making progress the past few months, thanks to the Sarno books, this board, and therapy.
This is what I've been trying to do: Avoid exploring symptoms on the internet or anywhere else. This is a tough one because there is such a temptation and it is so easy to do. Avoid going to the doctor unless I absolutely have to. This came into play recently when I was experiencing some hamstring symptoms (while training for a marathon) in both legs. One leg was a chronic tendonitis, while the other was a tightness or cramping. Members on this board advised me NOT to go the the ortho appt that I had already made. I didn't. It is now two months later and I seem to have had a breakthrough within the past week--neither leg is bothering me despite having increased my mileage dramatically (the marathon is in two weeks).
Another tactic I have used with some success is using cognitive disputation to avoid panicking about symptoms and to avoid the urge to take any immediate action. I keep pointing out to myself how really healthy and fit I am along with the fact that none of the physical fears I have ever had has amounted to anything at all. Often, the next day the "crisis" has passed and I can view it more objectively.
I continually look for evidence of the mind-body connection; books, articles, my own experience--anything that reminds me of that crucial link. |
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alan
United Kingdom
21 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2006 : 02:52:20
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Wow, this sounds very similar to me.
Since I started suffering anxiety, TMS, RSI, and all its equivalents, the overriding factor is my obsession about my health. Sometimes, this borders on insanity when I get a new ache or pain I obsess about it. As I get older, the worse it gets, and I am only 33.
This is way I cannot quite beat TMS, and my arm/hand pain due to constant tension due to this worry, and constant anxiety about almost any part of life.
I have periods where I begin to forget, and my aches fade away for some time, only to return after a few weeks. Therapy is not an option at the moment so I am trying to figure this all out. I has taken me 3 to 4 years already. I have found that I now do less and less exercise due to this worry, and now this means I am pretty unfit, so when I do exercise this make this anxiety worse which has lead to panic attacks.
Crazy. I used to be fit, physically and mentally strong.
I think if I can release this tension and oversensitised nerves, and obsession I will crack it.
Thanks
Alan. |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2006 : 06:45:02
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| Dr. Sarno briefly mentions hypochondriacs in his latest book. |
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vikki
95 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2006 : 18:08:32
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Thanks, all, for the replies! It's good to know other people struggle with the same problems.
wrldtrv, I do really relate to a lot of your fears. Yes, researching symptoms on the Internet is a huge temptation, and I've really been refraining from doing that. When I was at my worst with the TMS pain, I became quite an expert on rare neurological problems :-) I have also really avoided seeing doctors.
alan, I am also young (31), and I think for me that turning 30 was a huge source of anxiety. That's actually when my TMS symptoms started. I can relate to your feeling that this borders on insanity -- sometimes I really think I drive myself insane worrying about symptoms.
Peter, have you read the new book? I just ordered it and can't wait to get it.
cjbdrm,
quote:
Originally posted by cjbdrm
I would get a TMS symptom and automatically search the internet, then go into a major panic attack, which has taken me to the emergency room twice.
This kind of thing has happened to me too ... I think panic amplifies any minor symptom I feel.
quote:
Originally posted by cjbdrm
it's funny, once you start exercising and start feeling better, stronger, even just a little-(let's say you go for a long walk and your butt feels a little firmer after a day or two for example)you feel empowered-it encourages you to "keep doing whatever you're doing"...
This is definitely true -- you feel good as you start feeling stronger. The problem for me is that my anxiety eventually starts to ruin this feeling.
When I first started running as a teenager, I couldn't even run a mile without feeling like I was going to die. As I persisted I was able to run faster and further. I felt so empowered -- it was the coolest feeling in the world. It's how I still feel when I meet a challenge. But the anxiety always gets me. I start thinking, "Oh no, what if I get an injury and lose everything I've accomplished?" This of course is fertile breeding ground for TMS. I guess I'm really struggling with this now, as I am coming back from 6-7 months of inactivity (because of TMS). I started seriously running again last September. It felt so good to challenge the TMS and take my life back. It felt fantastic to be able to run again. But now the anxiety seems to be threatening to take away all that: Am I training correctly? Enough? Too much? What if I get sick? What if I get a real, non TMS injury? It should feel *good* to eat right and exercise -- and it does at first. But for me, it eventually turns into a compulsion -- something I *have* to do that gives me no joy :-(
A similar thing happened to me as a student. At some point in my academic career, I decided to start working hard, and I got straight A's. I felt really good about this for a while, and I found that the more effort I put into it, the more I enjoyed my classes. Then the anxiety monster ruined it: I started worrying so much about ruining my "perfect" record, about not being the best student in every class, about not writing a perfect paper. Every time I *wasn't* working on schoolwork, I felt anxious and guilty. I continued to do really well in school, but this obsession sucked all the joy out of the classes I'd grown to enjoy. I'm a successful professional today, but it's really hard for me to get excited about my work/career because of this. |
Edited by - vikki on 04/24/2006 18:10:36 |
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Nor
152 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2006 : 20:22:08
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Vikki,
I also was unable to stop the compulsion to research things on the internet before I started getting into TMS and reading Sarno's work. I work in health care and I've seen a lot of the awful things you read about which made it worse! The funny thing is, now I never do that. If I get a symptom, I usually laugh it off as a clever TMS manifestation. Nora |
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Obsession with health / being a hypochondriac
