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kdw
20 Posts |
 Posted - 03/31/2006 : 10:30:18
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Hi everyone. I'm at my wit's end. I'm not going to drone on about this (hopefully) because I feel it may be discouraging to newcomers, but I've had a relapse and don't know how to deal with it. I had been pain free for months after pushing myself to return to physical activity. I was back to biking and lifting weights, and had even jogged lightly a couple of times on the treadmill last week, though only for 1 minute of my 20 minute walks. On Sunday, I decided to do some stretches in an attempt to begin to return to yoga. Almost immediately I felt pain in my lower back and have had spasm, burning, numbness, tingling and pain in my legs, particularly my left leg, since then. There is nothing emotionally going on that hasn't been going on for the past three years. I have a lot of stress in my life, but the circumstances surrounding it cannot be changed.
I feel like I am back at square one. This is exactly what was happening in March of last year. I was completely inactive for nine months last year when I finally "got" Sarno in November and began working on the program. I admit I haven't been focusing on the journaling so much in recent months, as I felt the return to activity and "talking to my brain" when I felt twinges of a recurrance were working very well - and were probably more significant to my (temporary) recovery than anything else. Of course, I have returned to journaling this week and am reading Sarno's new book, which couldn't have come at a better time, I guess. I have tried to continue my workouts, but they are quite difficult to get through.
I would appreciate any advice or experiences you can share on how to handle this. Specifically, I need input on whether I should not give in to this physically and keep working out or if I should take time off again and start all over later. It seems like stopping, even if I'm only going through the motions, is sending a signal to my brain that the TMS is winning. The thought of giving up again is almost too much to bear, but the pain isn't exactly a picnic either.
Thanks for anything you can offer. |
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lilykins
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2006 : 10:47:53
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| I wonder if your pain now has more to do with conditioning due to the stretches, then with any new repressed emotion? Sarno talks alot about that and my TMS doctor here does, too. I'm sorry you're going through this. |
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FlyByNight
Canada
209 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2006 : 10:55:20
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from what I understand in my TMS journey
Healing TMS must NOT be seen a treatment, but rather a complete new way of being ... you need to learn this new way of being ... so there is no point giving up .
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Edited by - FlyByNight on 03/31/2006 13:39:43 |
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dwinsor52
USA
81 Posts |
Posted - 03/31/2006 : 11:23:23
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I know exactly where you are coming from. I have had two relapses in the last year and a half. The second relapse was much easier to overcome than the first. This is because the first relapse felt SO scary - like "what have I done wrong, what am I doing wrong, will I be back in pain forever" kind of thinking. I hadn't developed the confidence that I had with my second relapse. But I can tell you now that both relapses are behind me, that THEY DID PASS. The most effective thing I did was to get Sarno's Videotape, watch it over and over while I was knitting, so that the message went into my unconscious. I think it's very possible that programming is to blame here, except it's important to also remember that pain comes from unconscious stuff, so you don't necessarily know it's there. What's important is to really know that the relapse is temporary, and you will be back on track soon. It may take a while so just accept that right now you have some pain. It never worked for me to yell at my pain or stamp my foot, it worked better to focus on acceptance and confidence that it would get better. Good luck.
Debby |
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Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2006 : 15:41:08
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| How important is yoga to you? I'm asking this because stretching seems to be a problematic activity for many TMSers - based on my reading of this web site (for a long time) and my own history. Stretching can lead to "thinking physical" - especially if you allow yourself to think that stretching will help to reduce or prevent pain. We now know that stretching isn't necessary prior to most sports. I would consider dropping the yoga and being satisfied with the biking and other sporting activities that you mentioned in your post unless yoga is REALLY important to you. |
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Fredarm57
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2006 : 09:29:19
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Two steps forward, one step back. My first relapse lasted two months, my second two weeks, my last one a few days. Just keep going and don't give up. It gets better, but relapses are part of the process for many of us.
Fred |
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kdw
20 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2006 : 12:10:25
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Thanks to everyone for taking time to respond to my post. Your comments were very helpful. A week later, I am quite a lot better already. I gave myself permission to take a few days off to rest, and used that time to focus on journaling and thinking about emotional issues that "might" or "should" be bothering me. I also did something I've never done, and that is that I went back and read some my journals since this started. For some reason, it helped ease my fear and I began to think of this differently, as though it's just a little set back. Nothing serious, and nothing that I haven't been through before. I beat it before and I'll beat it again. I resumed my workouts despite the pain and it is easing to the point that I feel much better about everything.
Fox, you're right, the stretches are what gets me every time. I started thinking about it after reading your response, and I realize that I can do the poses that I think of as "strengthening" with no problem. It's the poses that are nothing but stretching - and therefore more likely to be associated with "healing" one's back (or whatever hurts) - that cause the problems. Yoga is important to me, but I'm willing to work on other things right now and introduce yoga more slowly in the future. It would be interesting to hear from people who have returned to yoga after TMS and how they did it, though.
Thanks again for the encouragement.
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at wit's end
