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Special One
USA
61 Posts |
 Posted - 03/07/2006 : 22:01:00
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I am such a believer in tms now. I am improving daily. Sometimes there are setbacks but I seem to recover faster that the original onset of the pain. I have almost learned not to care about the symptoms. I have been reading these posts daily and it is very helpful. My husband has been complaining about his neck and shoulder pain lately. It comes and goes and he believes that it is from "sleeping wrong." I have been reading him exerpts from Sarno's book and this forum to encourage him that there is hope. He is not convinced. He says, "no, this hurts too much to be caused by my mind. My shoulder is dislocated." I don't think it is, but if it was shouldn't he go to the ER? But he won't. It is hard to see someone you love living with pain when you know they don't have to. Yet, you cannot think for someone else. He wanted me to massage his shoulder and when I pressed on a certain spot his neck pain went away, only while I was pressing. That probably made him think something was "out." Anyway, I hope he will accept tms, because I think it would improve our marriage so much. I am already more enthusiastic about life since I think in new ways.
Thanks for the time you all take to help people heal and deal. |
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AriG00
USA
16 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 01:18:37
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It's amazing how uninformed most people are.. I can definiteyl
understand your husbands viewpoint, in a couple aspects, he may think its weak to be causing this problem, especially men, have a tendancy to afraid to admit their feelings.
Maybe you can try to convince him to read the book, and if he doesnt believe it thats fine, but I am sure he will after her reads the book and his pain starts going away. Most people are taught that "tension" is caused form the the way you sleep or sit or walk, for many years I thought all of this, but I realized even when I slept right, and sat right etc. etc.. stretched every day, the pain is still there.
Well its very hard to give advice in a situation in that.. It seems that you've done what you feel is all you can do. I think that he needs to kind of figure it out on your own, maybe just show him that its worked for you, as opposed to trying to "help" him. In my personal experience people generally get defensive, it has nothing to do with you, its just him.
I just ordered the video tapes because I think it will help me to hear all about TMS from Sarno himself as opposed to the book, this forum has helped me a lot to hear that other people are getting help too. Well I wish you luck, I guess that might not have been that helpful, but either way, just keep getting better yourself, focus on you, he'll come around, and I know its hard as a wife you want to show him sympathy, but ... you can act like he isnt doing something about it, so why should you care? but.. Im not sure, anyway good luck, keep us posted on here!
quote:
Originally posted by Special One
I am such a believer in tms now. I am improving daily. Sometimes there are setbacks but I seem to recover faster that the original onset of the pain. I have almost learned not to care about the symptoms. I have been reading these posts daily and it is very helpful. My husband has been complaining about his neck and shoulder pain lately. It comes and goes and he believes that it is from "sleeping wrong." I have been reading him exerpts from Sarno's book and this forum to encourage him that there is hope. He is not convinced. He says, "no, this hurts too much to be caused by my mind. My shoulder is dislocated." I don't think it is, but if it was shouldn't he go to the ER? But he won't. It is hard to see someone you love living with pain when you know they don't have to. Yet, you cannot think for someone else. He wanted me to massage his shoulder and when I pressed on a certain spot his neck pain went away, only while I was pressing. That probably made him think something was "out." Anyway, I hope he will accept tms, because I think it would improve our marriage so much. I am already more enthusiastic about life since I think in new ways.
Thanks for the time you all take to help people heal and deal.
G |
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Scottydog
United Kingdom
330 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 06:31:17
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My husband believes my problems are psychosomatic so reading Sarno and journalling can help them. Unfortunately, his problems are real so he needs a "real" doctor and "real" medication to fix them!
Anne |
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h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 07:04:28
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If your husband's shoulder was dislocated, he would be screaming at the top of his lungs !!
I feel your frustration. It's hard to watch someone you love with long term pain. I know. That's what gave root to my TMS.
Best wishes and congratulations on your progress.
Beth |
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ralphyde
USA
307 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 11:14:48
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I can't help but chime in on this one, since my wife (with TMS who doesn't accept it, now looking for surgery) and I have been separated for two years now over this issue. She's been in pain for over four and a half years, but still won't see a doctor qualified to diagnose TMS. I've tried every technique of gentle persuasion I can think of, but it has only pushed us further apart.
Ralph |
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Jim1999
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 03/08/2006 : 22:52:02
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Special One,
Your husband's pain hurts too much to be caused by his mind? Well, of course that's true. NOT! TMS often causes huge amounts of pain. That may seem counter-intuitive, but that's what happens.
It's great that you want to help others with TMS! I'd like to see more people do that. However, most patients we talk to will simply reject Sarno's ideas no matter what we say. Rejection is something we need to learn to accept.
Being a perfectionist, I know I want to see everyone recover. Unconsciously, I feel it's my duty to make them recover: "If they reject Dr. Sarno, it's my fault!" This is irrational, but the unconscious mind is often irrational. Acknowledging these emotions and dealing with them can be important in trying to help others. Otherwise, I would get to the point where the rejection would just be too much for me.
Jim |
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Special One
USA
61 Posts |
Posted - 03/12/2006 : 19:30:03
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Miracles do happen!
My husband asked me what the tms theory says to do for pain. I explained a little and then said, "read the book." I handed it to him and he read the introduction. The next time I was on this website he asked what I was looking at and when I told him he said, "cool." That is a lot better than the scoffing I got before! We'll see if he reads on.... |
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Husbands Not Convinced
