| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
 Posted - 02/12/2006 : 13:47:04
|
I touched on this in my last post, but I really do need some input on the matter. Basically, I somehow have convinced myself that in order to get better, certain things must be done. For instance, I must move out of my house--which, mind you, is happening in a few months--I must get involved with someone, I must start growing my relationship with my father, etc. But putting indexes on recovery in this sort of manner is not appropriate, right? If fighting and winning the battle against TMS isn't about allowing any one event, or series of events transpire then why have I convinced myself otherwise? What initially comes to mind is that this is merely a ploy my unconscious has worked up to keep me from sitting down and introspecting, which, as we all know, is the key to recovery. Lately, I'm so caught up in this line of thinking, and so afraid that all these things have to be done in order for me to get better, than I fear I'll never get better. Oy. I'm a little lost...
Seth |
Edited by - lobstershack on 02/12/2006 13:48:48 |
|
|
samthefish
23 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2006 : 18:55:13
|
I think what you've touched on are fears - fears that you won't get better unless "X".
Realize that you're the one setting these imaginary conditions - they aren't being imposed on you by some outside force. You'll need to change the way you THINK, and part of the way you think right now is to create these fears (many of the things you mention are out of your control).
I had some similar fears earlier in the course of my TMS, eventually saw them as signs of the underlying problem, self doubt, doubt in the diagnosis, etc. I suspect it's the TMS gremlin trying to cast seeds of doubt or impossible conditions.
Remember the solution is to change the way you "think" - Think if I were healthy, would I be having thought "X"? If not, then for you to get better you'll need to get rid of them ... apply the same techniques you do with any other emotion, face it head on, be assertive, persistent, and have faith in yourself. Get rid of the negative thoughts and fears.
Best of luck - SamTheFish |
Edited by - samthefish on 02/12/2006 19:41:19 |
 |
|
|
vikki
95 Posts |
Posted - 02/12/2006 : 20:40:41
|
I still deal with fears like this. I see them as a replacement for the physical fears that used to dominate my life: I won't get better unless I stop running, stretch 3x a day, use voice recognition software, etc. None of these are true. Neither are the fears about "needing" to do anything else. So, yes, I think this is a ploy your unconscious mind has worked up.
What seems to work for me is not to focus on getting better. I just do what I need to do regardless of the pain, without dwelling on psychological or interpersonal problems. This way, none of the fears that appear in my mind can get to me. I'm not sure if that would work for everyone. I think it works for me because I tend to overthink things, whether these things are physical or emotional. This approach keeps my overthinking tendency under control. |
|
|
|
h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 02/13/2006 : 15:38:16
|
Hi Seth.
I was once where you are now. So many things needed worked on in my life.
I believe TMS was there so I could continue the facade of being "Happy" despite the fact that so many deep things were wrong with my life, and needed faced.
The first thing I did, was face the fact that I can't fix everything overnight.
The second thing, was to realize I'm not the only one with big issues in my life. Changing the course of the great ship of one's life can seem daunting. Sometimes I felt shame for letting things get so out of control. I think some of this is behind TMS.
The third thing I did was try very hard to forgive myself and absolve myself of the guilt of creating these situations.
Without the guilt, it's pretty easy to say "OK, I'm here right now, but I want to be there . . ."
Best Wishes
Beth |
|
|
|
lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2006 : 11:09:33
|
So on point!
These are fears that I am imposing on myself and it's up to me to recognize them as such and deal with them accordingly, i.e., IGNORE THEM!
h2oskier25: You touched on something that I had never thought of, that many of the things I had mentioned initially are probably contributing to my rage in some fashion or another. And that while I view them as disturbances, I must remember that the unconscious is completely irrational, and that they're probably affecting me much deeper and harder than I consciously realize.
I think the answer lies in realizing that, yes these issues will be dealt with in time, that yes, they are contributing to my rage, but no, I will not let them consume me; I think...
Regarding the fear: often I find myself trying desperately to banish it and then getting angry at myself when it doesn't disappear and the same fears continue to loop over and over in my mind. Does the answser lie in just accepting that the fear will diminish in time and that it's something I can't force?
Also, I have taken to spending 15-30 min each evening thinking about what's bothering me, instead of journaling. I am a creative catalog writer and am writing all day long. When I get out of work, I generally do not want to have anything to do with a pen or keyboard, except of course, unless it's myspace : ] Do you think this is an appropriate substitution?
Seth |
Edited by - lobstershack on 02/14/2006 11:15:18 |
|
|
|
h2oskier25
USA
395 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2006 : 13:24:45
|
Seth,
Regarding your evening outlet, Maybe a small tape recorder that you could tell you feelings to. I don't know if just thinking about the things that are bothering you is enough release.
Also, don't try to "Not Be Afraid" of things too much. Remember accept and surrender. I often have to say "yes, I'm afraid of . . . (going broke - being alone - making the wrong choice - making somebody mad) . . . I accept the fact that I'm afraid" take a deep breath and then go about my business.
I suspect you're improving. Congrats
Beth |
|
|
|
Fox
USA
496 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2006 : 15:35:40
|
| Seth - regarding the "looping" fears - give Claire Weekes' book a try - the one mentioned on this web site - it's very helpful in the area of dealing with obsessive fears/regrets. You read the book once and you may feel like it's odd, quaint, and old fashioned. You read it again and you'll see that it's amazingly helpful. |
|
|
|
lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 02/14/2006 : 18:30:38
|
quote:
Originally posted by Seth
So on point!
These are fears that I am imposing on myself and it's up to me to recognize them as such and deal with them accordingly, i.e., IGNORE THEM!
h2oskier25: You touched on something that I had never thought of, that many of the things I had mentioned initially are probably contributing to my rage in some fashion or another. And that while I view them as disturbances, I must remember that the unconscious is completely irrational, and that they're probably affecting me much deeper and harder than I consciously realize.
I think the answer lies in realizing that, yes these issues will be dealt with in time, that yes, they are contributing to my rage, but no, I will not let them consume me; I think...
Regarding the fear: often I find myself trying desperately to banish it and then getting angry at myself when it doesn't disappear and the same fears continue to loop over and over in my mind. Does the answser lie in just accepting that the fear will diminish in time and that it's something I can't force?
Also, I have taken to spending 15-30 min each evening thinking about what's bothering me, instead of journaling. I am a creative catalog writer and am writing all day long. When I get out of work, I generally do not want to have anything to do with a pen or keyboard-- unless it's myspace : ] Do you think this is an appropriate substitution?
Seth
Seth |
|
|
|
lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 02/15/2006 : 07:28:38
|
Fox, I took your advice and picked up Hope and Help for Your Nerves. I've only read 40 or so pages, and I must say, it's a tremendous help! So much of what she says--in terms of what is causing the symptoms and how to get rid of them--jibes perfectly with Sarno!
What is going to be most helpful, I think, is taking her advice to stop "shrinking" from and "fighting" the pain. Instead, Dr. Weekes perscribes relaxing and easing into the pain without fear.
I think her book is going to be most helpful in my healing. Thanks for the recommendation!
Seth |
|
|
|
lobstershack
Australia
250 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2006 : 18:57:02
|
I'm sitting here going over this post again, and lo and behold, I have an "Ah-ha!" moment.
samthefish wrote:
Remember the solution is to change the way you "think" - Think if I were healthy, would I be having thought "X"? If not, then for you to get better you'll need to get rid of them ... apply the same techniques you do with any other emotion, face it head on, be assertive, persistent, and have faith in yourself. Get rid of the negative thoughts and fears.
Previously, I must have glossed over that important point. But I understand what you're saying now. All these thoughts and fears and scenarios--sexual and otherwise--next time they arise, I'll stop and ask myself that very question. Because I AM HEALTHY.
This is a very helpful piece of advice. Thank you.
Seth |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
Confused
