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n/a
374 Posts |
 Posted - 08/15/2004 : 03:03:45
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Over the past year I have gone from TMS controlling my life, to being able to do everything. I was pretty pleased with myself, I can tell you!
Anyway, yesterday I had an incident that brought it back with a vengeance. I had taken an elderly aunt to a garden centre to get spring flower bulbs for planting. She has lost her husband recently and is naturally feeling her great loss. We were having coffee in the restaurant and a wasp stung me twice on the arm. I didn't see it coming and I don't recall ever having being stung by a wasp or bee before. The sudden pain was a shock and immediately my lower back (where TMS manifested itself in my case) went into extremely painful spasms which continued for the rest of the day. This morning the pain has just about gone, I'm glad to say.
I found this incident weird and have tried to work out why it happened. It could have been that my aunt's feelings were communicating themselves to me, or I may have been unconsciously tense because my little grandaughter has had surgery to remove a lump from her mouth. We got the results on Friday - the lump was completely harmless, thank goodness, but naturally, I have been extremely worried over the past few days.
I've found the thread here about conditioning pretty convincing and it could be that the conditioning that, I believe perpetuated TMS in me is still there, although I am on top of it pretty much all the time now.
Has anyone else experienced such a blatant example of TMS conditioning? The shock of the sudden pain in my arm resulted immediately in back spasms. I guess I am not completely cured after all.
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Dave
USA
1864 Posts |
Posted - 08/15/2004 : 10:30:44
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quote:
Originally posted by AnneG
I found this incident weird and have tried to work out why it happened. It could have been that my aunt's feelings were communicating themselves to me, or I may have been unconsciously tense because my little grandaughter has had surgery to remove a lump from her mouth. We got the results on Friday - the lump was completely harmless, thank goodness, but naturally, I have been extremely worried over the past few days ... I guess I am not completely cured after all.
First of all, there is no answer to "why it happened." Of course you should explore all the possible sources of rage, and your grandaughter's situation is a strong ingredient. But TMS is not a tidy process. A physical attack is not necessarily related to any one thing. TMS is a sneaky enemy, always waiting in hiding for a chance to attack.
As for being "cured" in my opinion this thinking is flawed. We can break the TMS habit but the strategy has worked for so long that the brain is very likely to try it again, and again. Flare-ups and recurrences are common. The reconditioning process must last a lifetime. |
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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2004 : 11:13:01
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Over the past year I have gone from TMS controlling my life, to being able to do everything. I found this incident weird and have tried to work out why it happened
Anyway, yesterday I had an incident that brought it back with a vengeance
AnneG,
I am sorry instead of taking the time to answer you and respond to the Question that you have asked I jumped right in with my own question. (This happened to me when I was at a critical point of recovery), I needed assurance everything was going to be ok, and my question was distracted by and interruption that went into another direction. I was left alone to figure it all out.
How insensitive of me! I realized today as I went back to look for a response to MY question that I was being selfish, however I read your post and had feelings and an understanding of what you were going through. We do share many things in common and We are all looking for answers and it is for the same reason. To be counseled and help one another understands more about this crazy TMS syndrome.
I do have a couple of things to share and possible you can relate to one of them and be reassured of what you are experiencing. Like yourself Tms once controlled my life I had pain all the time, waking each day not even able step my feet to the ground to get out of bed. I had to roll to the side to allow my feet to touch the ground. It was as if I was paralyzed from the waist down. Now my upper back shoulders and neck was in spasm about 50% of the time. Sciatic even decided to set in set in the last stages.
I spent the last 5 years in this condition before learning about TMS. From what I have learned in the past 9 moths, TMS can be very tricky to understand, but Doctor Sarno did a good job laying out the principles to understand it’s principles and mechanisms. TMS can be a hidden monster alive in all of us. But we have to remember it is in OUR MINDS and OUR BODIES and it is OUR OUT of CONTROLL EMOTIONS and INNER UNCOUNCOUS THOUGHTS. OHH!! It can be SOB, and yes weird and anything else that you can think of, especially when you have exposed it to your conscious
I believe once you have it on the run you can experience a wide range of unexplainable manifestations. I wouldn’t under estimate the power of the mind and control our unconscious thoughts have especially when they become exposed because is about to loose the purpose for its existence. What we have inside (the repressed emotions) is looking for a replacement for its purpose. To distract us from the SOURCE of our inner pain.
I apologize if you have already read this and if some of you have heard these examples already, but there are many newcomers to this board and might benefit hearing this for the first time. And maybe there are some of us that need to hear again the reality of how powerful our unconscious minds can be when it comes to exposing our hidden emotions as we get TMS on the run.
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During the last phases of TMS when I had it on the run there were 2 major things that took place.
I had already rid my body of the major LBP pain, but was still dealing with sciatic leg pain.
There were about two weeks of tight neck and shoulder pain, but chasing the sciatic pain came to a minimum
When I stopped all physical activities. In the beginning I was fighting it and getting mad because I already had great gains to my MAJOR LBP, then I decided to ignore it and it went away, This was during the biggest breakthrough thus so far in my TMS recovery. I already believed that TMS work was at its best. When the sciatic pain halted I started to experience MAJOR abdominal pain. Then when I decided to go %1000 in journaling. I knew that this was what was needed most at this point. Looking back now I believe the 10 days straight of unexplainable abdominal pain MUST have been another sneaky trick TMS was playing trying to distract me from the most important component of TMS.
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I had a relapse this weekend. I worked my but off wed-Thurs filling all the orders so I could take off, I think i was so excited and tensed up and i felt GUILTY, so i wasn't relaxed going into the fishing trip. I felt a little sore on the boat so I stretched, haven’t done that for 6 months. Then I was exposed to the sun all day and felt as if I got dehydrated or something. I didn't feel to good by the end of the day, I took two trips that day so it was a long day hanging over the rail fishing and I was fatigued and lost all my strength.
By the time I got home I was wiped and LOST all my strength, then my back became so stiff I needed to lie down. Boom something hit me like flu symptoms I was freezing but I was sweating, so I slept allot over the weekend each night I got cold sweats ?
You know since I been pretty much pain free for over 4 months I have been celebrating and haven't done anything physically, so I guess it caught up.
I am confused what happened to me was it TMS?
Or did I get heat exhaustion or dehydration that attacked my muscles?
Or was it a flu that just wiped me out then since I lay for so long I stiffened up?
IT SUCKED After not feeling that type of pain in over 9 months and then felling #8 pain in lower back made me question what is going on?
Now as I look back in each of these situations I know what was going on; The first example was TMS on the run, I was exposing 20 years of learned conditioning, programming that took place and opening up a lifetime of repressed emotions about to be exposed.
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Has anyone else experienced such a blatant example of TMS conditioning? The shock of the sudden pain in my arm resulted immediately in back spasms. I guess I am not completely cured after all.
I've found the thread here about conditioning pretty convincing and it could be that the conditioning that, I believe perpetuated TMS in me is still there, although I am on top of it pretty much all the time now.
In the second example you can see that I still need to do the maintenance and work on my strong personality traits that comes with perfectionism, and do-gooders. Things that control my thoughts such as worry anxiety and feeling guilty when it is time to relax, due to being programmed into a workaholic. Now the sun and being dehydrated acted as a trigger but my personality and what was going on upstairs that day was the catalyst to binding and holding a reoccurrence of that type. Sure being dehydrated effects the body and will attack the muscle absorption and all of the body’s fluids. But my back was still the weakest link here for TMS to attack, exposed to 20 years of pain, always tight or in spasm 24/7 and the mussels have never been in a relaxed position for a long time.
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. I had taken an elderly aunt to a garden centre to get spring flower bulbs for planting. She has lost her husband recently and is naturally feeling her great loss.
The sudden pain was a shock and immediately my lower back (where TMS manifested itself in my case) went into extremely painful spasms which continued for the rest of the day. This morning the pain has just about gone, I'm glad to say.
. It could have been that my aunt's feelings were communicating themselves to me, or I may have been unconsciously tense because my little grandaughter has had surgery to remove a lump from her mouth. We got the results on Friday - the lump was completely harmless, thank goodness, but naturally, I have been extremely worried over the past few days.
Now as an outsider, I can see in your situation many reasons for you to experience residual manifestations that are left over from painful emotions. Mainly caring for or worrying about the well being of loved ones can hang around for a long time. Perhaps you are experiencing the inner anxiety from not being able to help, or the hidden rage from not being able to do so.
What I have found in my understanding of the TMS cycle; there is a REASON for our pain and manifestations. We just need to identify them and isolate them and WORK on releasing them, while learning about and re adjusting our strong personalities.
Strong Personalities with perfectionism and do- gooder qualities carry a strong emotional component along with them. They are so different yet are inter winded with a commonality of CONTROLL. In my case it is ANGER, which primarily breeds from unmet needs and the perfectionist in us. It wants to be in control. Anxiety and worrying is another one which is mostly caused by becoming obsessed with situations that we have no control over and the do -gooder wants to help and do something about it.
Ya see it is a conflict of two natures that is within ALL of us. It is your God given nature and ability to discern right from wrong. The good and bad thoughts and feelings inside, trying to fight it out, decide and protect what is right for us. And each one of us wants to be a good person, but our nature and freewill decides not to do so. So you have this constant battle that lies within. It is our job to rationalize this and take a mature approach at our pattern of thinking in return balance the control of our thoughts feeling and actions in our lives.
When we can accomplish this we will leave no guilt behind in the decision we make. In return our inner emotions don’t control our outward responses, which gives way to the TMS being in control of our lives.
Always Hope For Recovery
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n/a
374 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2004 : 16:40:34
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Thanks, Kenny, for your very thoughtful and helpful reply. Actually, I found the question you posed in your earlier reply - about whether TMS is something that will last for a lifetime or not - a very relevant one. I've never given a percentage here of how much I have recovered before, but I reckon it's about 90%. So, even with the relapse, I'm still more than happy with how far I've come.
What seemed to be a purely physical response to the shock of very painful unexpected wasp stings resulting in dreadful back spasms, may well have been the result of stress cause by my little grandaughter's operation (she's only two years old) and as you so rightly point out there may well have been anger at not being able to stop her having to go through something so unpleasant. As it turned out the medical staff were amazing and she did not suffer at all.
You are right when you say that that there are things we share in common - I had a look at the journal I kept for a while last year and some of it reads very like what you experienced - "Was such and such TMS, or was it something else?" I don't journal now, I really don't need it, but it helps from time to time to read all that was going through my mind at that time.
("Anxiety and worrying is another one which is mostly caused by becoming obsessed with situations that we have no control over and the do -gooder wants to help and do something about it.")
I think what you said here may well be what was behind my nasty relapse. But, you were also right when you said that I have TMS on the run. I was so pleased to wake up on Sunday morning with the pain gone. If ever I had a demonstration of proof that my problem is TMS, this was it. For pain that severe to just evaporate after a good night's sleep - sleep induced by some pretty strong painkillers, I admit; and not to return, has to have a psychological cause.
Thanks again,
Anne
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kenny V
USA
268 Posts |
Posted - 08/19/2004 : 13:02:36
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*I found the question you posed in your earlier reply - about whether TMS is something that will last for a lifetime or not - a very relevant one. I've never given a percentage here of how much I have recovered before, but I reckon it's about 90%. So, even with the relapse, I'm still more than happy with how far I've come.
Anne, I am in agreement with you, and also most grateful for the recovery that I have achieved thus so far.
However, I posed such a question in the past, and am still not satisfied with the explanation or the validation that supports such a claim, that a full recovery is not obtainable. On the old forum I proposed this type of question merely because of interest and belief, it was diverted because of the present atmosphere. And was avoided because of fear of conflict with my debatable personality.” Hey” this is the way we come to understand HOW things work.
Lets open it up for testing and validation and reason with one another in a logical manor. It was an honest question that should be opened up for discussion, expanded on, and give valid reasons that support ones own experience and opinion “. I am a survivor”, I survived many years of torture, and you can not do this without the faith to do so. I f you hear stories of how many people faced life and death situations Or how people stranded out at sea have survived there would always be one thing in common they BELIVED that they would. One documentary I saw showed how prisoners who were forced into hard labor slavery, starved and sleep deprived, continually surrounded by sickness, death and mental torture. There were only a handful that survived and they weren’t the strong nor the young, nor the most intelligent, they where the older ones who had something to live for, it was their faith in God and to return home to their loved ones. So what’s this life we live in all about, what make living for any different?
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If ever I had a demonstration of proof that my problem is TMS, this was it. For pain that severe to just evaporate after a good night's sleep - sleep induced by some pretty strong painkillers, I admit; and not to return, has to have a psychological cause.
Since I could remember growing up, My biggest question in life was always WHY?
I have never taken the reason of HOW something works or WHY something is the way it is by simply excepting it to be” that is the laws of nature”. . This was even truer finding my faith in God. But with this type of thinking I believe ALL things can be proven, it is just a matter of discovery and testing it against all of the circumstances around its function. I think mechanically and need to see it in action before I can understand it. This is my major stumbling block. But that is not hard to relate to because e even hidden forces that function in our existence can be explained and perform in an orderly fashion. Take for example gravitational pull or electricity can be explained by
Mathematics by simply applying constants that validates its order of function and existence. Now with TMS thinking this has not changed. The way I came to believe, understand and recover was in the same way. I tested all of the programmed responses that psychology teaches in human behavior that coincides with Doctor Sarno’s explanation. I also applied the reverse theory of all conditioning that was leading to pain and discomfort. This was done by eliminating ALL factors that was associated physically and psychologically to comforting my pain cycle. Placebo’s were isolated and weeded out in the process.
So after coming to a 99.9% recovery from a disabled condition, I strongly believe there has to be a constant here that effects the physical condition also. With the proper combinations of applying the TMS theory it will neutralize the effect that the emotional component has, the underlying factors, which is CAUSING the pain. This sounds too much like common sense once you BELIEVE in the diagnosis and understand it’s process. Then why wouldn’t there be an opposing solution? Why isn’t there an opposite of the prevailing circumstance? I believe this is logical just like mathematics, it always checks out in reverse and proves it self.
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You are right when you say that that there are things we share in common - I had a look at the journal I kept for a while last year and some of it reads very like what you experienced - "Was such and such TMS, or was it something else?" I don't journal now, I really don't need it, but it helps from time to time to read all that was going through my mind at that time.
You have said many times in your post that you are right about this and right about that and we share this in common. So we must both agree that these are there are variables that always play a role in WHY we experience physical manifestations from a psychological component. So why is this a constant in our daily life? Well I think there is and if I may point out something from what you have said, “some of it reads very like what you experienced”, “I don't journal now, I really don't need it, but it helps from time to time to read all that was going through my mind at that time.
This is why I believe journaling can be such a powerful tool to tap into the reality of really is going on in our minds. Now I can write in my journal or tell you that there is nothing wrong me. I can tell you that I am in perfect physical health and completely healed or that I am 75 years old with 10 children and 25 grand children. Or I can say I am a business owner, a millionaire with many things to show for. Now you can believe me, But if this is not true than I am lying to myself and what I say don't really matter does it? Especially when it comes to being honest with ourselves who we are and why we are experiencing so much anger that turns into inner rage. Now you have said I don’t need it, and I don’t do that any more, but I say that we all need to daily take an inventory of our lives and reflect on what this is all about. And by doing so we can remain rational if we are staying honest with ourselves. Now Journling for TMS was my blueprint and (hardcopy) to understand what had happened to me to be in that original condition. It is easy to read and comprehend because it is my story. I can always go back and use it for reference to understand more of what might be currently going on. And now I use daily prayer to keep the maintenance and an up to date record to what is going on the here and now.
Always Hope For Recovery
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Thought I was cured - but .......
