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Suz
559 Posts |
 Posted - 12/13/2005 : 12:39:52
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I am in the middle of a big flare up - two weeks now of terrible sciatica. I don't think my TMS ever left me - just shifted around. I eat what I want now with no fear of my skin breaking out and - so I have no skin problems. I have no digestion problems. I have no fatigue. But my brain has gone back to my sciatic pain ever since I broke my foot and have not been able to wear heels or work out for the last 7 weeks.
I notice that my pain is pretty much gone all day when I am at work. In the evening, when I relax, it comes back. I imagine that the brain used work as a distraction. Does anyone else have this?
I don't think I am shifting my thoughts to emotions very easily. I find this hard when I wake up through the night and first thing in the morning. The pain is like a shock down my leg and actually I feel a little nauseous when I have it.
I think I need to either go back to reading and reading and journaling or give in and go to the psychologist again - Groan! I can't stand the expense. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 14:42:04
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Hi Suz.
During my little reminder date,it almost exclusively bothered me at home when I'd try to relax...I could lift heavy stuff all day,climb and curl into impossible positions no problem....I'd sit down to relax and bam!
That made me first think the problem was at home(which a large part of it was) however,I had anxieties about work that I wasn't dealing with,or rather I was not aware of them...found them through journaling and reading and thinking and TIME..I realized I wasn't as 'OK' with work as I thought,however the TMS is gone.
-piggy
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 15:13:27
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Baseball,
You give me great hope. I know you had a recent flare up and it is very encouraging that it has gone. I am probably asking you an obvious question - what did you do? I assume you journaled, read "healing back pain" or one of Sarno's books and sat and really thought about what is bothering you. How long did it take you to kick this recent flare
I am pretty sure mine is work related. I generate a lot of anxiety with my perfectionism at work. I obsess over whether I am doing a good job or not. I work for a workaholic who has high expecatations. He is very nice but he expects long hours with no breaks. I feel nervous even about taking a lunch break of 30 minutes which is ridiculous! I am very surprised that I have had this for two weeks now and that it hasn't gone.
I think I should probably go back to basics - read and journal. I have been dipping in to Fred Amir's book as he has good suggestions regarding fighting the unconscious and taking control.
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gioux
USA
20 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 16:18:23
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Suz,
I have actually queried the forum about a similar issue. I find that my pain is worse or tends to flare up on the weekends. I believe it is for the same reason - less distraction and more "need" for the pain to act as the distractor. I think others have this very same issue. I am having an issue now. About a 6 week bout of back pain (switched from knee and shoulder pain when I "dealt" with those) and worse on the weekends. Hope this helps a little... |
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redskater
USA
81 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 17:59:21
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Hi Suz, On sunday, I played 18 holes of golf. NO pain anywhere, nada, zilch! I was estatic! (golf should be a back's nightmare) Then I came home and hung about 3 or 4 ornaments on the xmas tree and my upper back started to throb. It's so bizzar. But it does seem to happen to a lot of us which is so encouraging really. I just keep going like I am fine and it usually subsides.
Gaye |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 21:40:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Suz
. I am probably asking you an obvious question - what did you do? I assume you journaled, read "healing back pain" or one of Sarno's books and sat and really thought about what is bothering you. How long did it take you to kick this recent flare
Oh...let me look...uh...it started the day before thanksgiving,or rather that's when I noticed it first...started as sciatica and Low back.By Thanksgiving day it was pretty annoying.It 'peaked' on Sunday shopping with my wife,and that's when I hit the books and the paper.
Than it sort of came and went...never EVER like the old days when there was terror on top of it.
I think the 'breakthrough' came when I was in the hardware store and was really aware of it while [i]my work partner whom I consciously like was taking forever to buy a simple order[/i].I started to have the beginnings of a panic attack.I aborted it by using the 'Miami' method,but during the brief moment of feeling like I was going to 'lose it' I noticed the pain had evaporated.As soon as the panic attack subsided (5 minutes??) the pain was back.
So...I read,wrote,but most importantly every time I became aware of it,I consciously and forcefully directed my thoughts to how angry I was at my wife's current work/schedule.I also sat down and told my wife that I really missed her and felt alone(which she didn't appreciate,as she herself feels trapped)
So,looking at the calendar,I'd say it was 16 days,though I was only in pain for maybe...10 hours out of the entire time...remember,it doesn't bother me at work,and I've been working a lot.ANY TMS is a sign that something beyond our ability to think it out is being repressed....however,I'm not sure we ever really figure it out.That's the beauty of the solution...we don't have to 'succeed' to beat TMS...just know that it is a LIAR.
hope that helps
-piggy
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2005 : 14:13:39
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So so helpful, Baseball - thank you.
It seems to be key to keep switching attention to the emotional and I agree - it doesn't seem to matter if you really get what is being repressed. I have stopped playing around with Fred Amir's work and have gone back to basics.
Another question - how far apart are your flare ups? It seems like you don't get them that frequently. Sarno insists that he has a "cure" and the aim is to get rid of the pain for good. I am not sure that is really possible. Can one switch off the unconscious for good? -never to use the body again as a distraction? I think maybe not. At least, my unconscious is really really stubborn. It loves to find something new to distract me.
Another thing I have noticed during this recent flare up - enjoying myself - having relaxing times with friends or whatever one can find in life - seems to reduce the pain. i had a great day in the city on Sunday, visiting my sister and her nephew. They had some random man there to see me (I didn't really realize until half way through lunch). I was nervous on Saturday as the pain was really bad. My day on Sunday was so good that I forgot about it. The pain has been much much less. I have also worked out twice in the last few days just to show it who is boss. My point is that enjoying oneself seems to help get rid of it as well. Amir says - enjoy the process. Hmm - not a bad approach.
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2005 : 00:22:01
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quote:
Originally posted by Suz
So so helpful, Baseball - thank you.
It seems to be key to keep switching attention to the emotional and I agree - it doesn't seem to matter if you really get what is being repressed. I have stopped playing around with Fred Amir's work and have gone back to basics.
Suz-Why give up trying to discover and feel the repressed emotion? Granted its very difficult to find it but think of the rewards if you do. What about dialoging about the anger you feel at work, with significant people in your relationships, parents etc. What about actually feeling the anger and letting it go? This has worked for you in the past with your ex. why wouldn't it work this time around? The symptoms just mean that the rage is closer and more accessible to you. Try and take advantage of this opportunity your unconscious is delivering and feel what is waiting to come out.
Perhaps others here disagree. It's just one man's impression. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2005 : 08:47:41
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Yikes- I can't believe I actually wrote that to you. OK lets try that again with a little more encouragement this time. Certainly it would be great to get to the emotion that is driving your flareup and it is rediculous and presumptuous of me to think that you are not trying to do that. It it was so easy then none of us would have TMS in the first place. After all you are in pain and trying to do everything you can to abort it. I think I must have been stuck in my own stuff and not really present to you. Your life situation as it relates to TMS is actually far more complicated than mine with present as well as past playing in on your symptoms. Mine seems to be mostly stuck in the past.
Anyway I hope that you are having some success and are finding some relief. You've come a long way and in the big picture are doing extremely well from where you have been. Hope you feel better soon. |
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2005 : 10:15:24
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Miehnesor,
You are so sweet. Actually I took your first post as you just trying to be really helpful. I am constantly searching for the emotional cause - which I think is a huge combination of lots of things - past and present. I have been out of pain now for 2 days and am really happy. I have found that relaxing and having fun actually really helps the process. I doubled my prayer work (went to mass every day) and went out with friends the last two nights - I am tired but happy and out of pain.
thanks
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No pain at work? distraction?
