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2scoops
USA
386 Posts |
 Posted - 11/26/2005 : 09:50:44
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| Peter got me thinking it would be good if we all thought about some topics that made us think of the pstchological, as oppossed to the pain. I thought I would start career. These days there are so many things out there to choose from how is one supposed to know what to chose, maybe your not sure what your doing is what you want to do for the rest of your life. I know out of high school I had trouble picking my career out, here I was 18, never had a job, how was I to know. So I started college, wanting to get good grades, be a good student, but wasn't sure what to do. I thought I wanted to be a teacher, but the lack of pay was a down side. I guess the lack of prestige made me want to change. Here I am 29, I have a business degree. I work in sales and still not sure sure if that's what I want to do. The thought of starting to go back to school and start over seems overwhelming. I mean coming up with the money, having the time to study, have a social life etc. Thought I would share my internal struggle maybe someone is going through something similar. |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 10:17:24
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And maybe you don't want to have a career at all and your choices or motivations are based upon what you think others think you "should" do or be. Or maybe there is an inner drive to achieve in responce to inner low-self esteem. That somehow you have to prove your self-worth. Maybe you secretly don't want to be responcible at all, but just do your own thing and to hell with everyone else and everything else. All of these things create inner tension and rage which leads to TMS. You cannot express them outloud as they are both embarassing and socially un-acceptable.
I too was a "slow starter" and did not even go to university until I was 24. Frankly, I don't want to be anything in particular but society says I must be something. Tension, anger and anxiety follows. |
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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 10:29:56
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i dont want a career. I've been at stay at home mother for over 25 years. I feel forced to get a job just as my elderly parents need care. Instead of a grateful family i have one who resent my not working. They resent the shortage of money even though the reason for that is my husband irresponsiblity with credit cards, buying crap we didnt need. So my pain shows up just in time to prevent me from working. Just as i began to seriously consider going back to work, i suffered panic attacks and agorophobia. THAT gets better and I do work for a few months (quit the job in disgust over company practices i consider unethical). Now my leg/butt hurts and i cant sit and the incessant demands of my elderly folks and whining of an ungrateful family....I know why i hurt. I'm not quite sure where to go from this point however. Get the job, dont get the job, divorce him, dont divorce him...etc etc etc......
Jill |
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art
1903 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 11:40:56
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jilly-girl..unless you really love him, leave the SOB...Don't wait until you're too old to change your circumstances..We all have to take responsibility for our own happiness..
Your life sounds dreadfully stressful.Of course you're in pain. Look within and find the courage to do what's necessary. Life is woefully short... |
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jilly_girl
USA
108 Posts |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 21:37:14
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art i know..but, not that easy. finances, dealing with a dying mother, and i still hurt! i dont have all the answers although i do know this relationship is toxic. a lawyer wanting $3500 to get me out of this mess added to the stress lol....i do a lot of praying these days
Jill |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 08:04:30
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| Behavior mondification is not part of TMS treatment. Recognizing the inner tension which brings on your TMS is the key. This has to be understood both intellectually and emotionally. |
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Baseball65
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 08:44:18
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Hall-a-freakin'lujah..Thank you Peter.
I HATE work.Period....Oh,don't get me wrong.I'm really good at what I do...because I'm Overly conscientious,over caring and over concerned..even when I consciously try to think "Screw it"...I still feel a strong urge to turn in 'perfect' work...and that's why we get TMS
But the way human nature is constituted..not just TMSers..everybody...we want a job really bad,and than we finally get it...and we hate it.We eventually either consciously or unconsciously degrade into a state of entitlement,self righteousness and get to feeling like we are taken for granted....drumroll.......YOU ARE..that's why they pay us..so they can take our task for granted and move on to bigger problems!
I just moved across country this year,to get out of the 'gridlock' lifestyle of L.A....had nothing to do with TMS,had a lot to do with my kids NOT getting shot.
I've gotten and QUIT 2 high paying jobs since I've been here...2 jobs where people said stuff like "I can't believe you walked away from that"...but,finally I have a job in which:
A My Boss is a clear thinking friendly and fair man..whom I barely ever see
B My Coworkers are fun to be around,friendly and like me
C I'm the highest paid person in the company..that right there could have turned a lot of the guys against me,but it hasn't
D I have NO supervisor,and report only to myself
So,all my inner anger and rage are gone,right? Faux Canoe!!
Oops..I accidentally brought me along.I can be left alone on a project with no pressure and no deadline and no second guessing of how I deal with it and I can still feel the pressure.
We make it in ourselves.Remember.If you're a real TMSer,you need no supervision,you're your own worst critic,your own 'Moses" so to speak,handing down laws you can barely live up to,making deadlines that are unrealistic,and demanding perfection that is most likely unattainable.
So...if you want to do something else,go ahead and make a career change.But,if you think that the change will somehow downgrade repressed rage,frustration and anger..better stay put until your clear that you're the one making it..under any circumstance.
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
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Jim1999
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - 11/29/2005 : 23:10:07
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quote:
Originally posted by Baseball65
We make it in ourselves.Remember.If you're a real TMSer,you need no supervision,you're your own worst critic,your own 'Moses" so to speak,handing down laws you can barely live up to,making deadlines that are unrealistic,and demanding perfection that is most likely unattainable.
That's a great point! My TMS became serious when I was in the middle of starting a new hobby. I was putting so much pressure on my self to do a good job, my unconscious mind needed severe pain to keep the repressed emotions in check.
Jim |
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Kajsa
Denmark
144 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2005 : 03:38:29
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Very good point Baseball!
And true...
Kajsa
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2scoops
USA
386 Posts |
Posted - 11/30/2005 : 09:29:53
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| Good points baseball. I am currently in sales and I have to generate most of my sales. The person who works along with me, has pretty things handed to him. That also makes me wonder how my other managesr feel about me, because my sales are always lower than my counter part. The thought of me being fired, scares me, althought it may be best for me. There is not a lot of jobs open around here. I have been on 6 interviews in the span of 2 months, no one remotely interested in me. That causes me some inner tension. Part of me wants the free ride the other sales reps gets, and the other part of me wants to please my bosses and generate new business. |
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Career As A Topic of Repression
