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MaryB
USA
7 Posts |
 Posted - 10/14/2005 : 07:13:45
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Hi, everybody. Hope somebody out there can help me. I just found this forum last night and was really excited. I developed discomfort
progressing into pain 1 1/2 years ago. About 5 months later an MRI
showed what my doctor described as an annular tear.(a tear in the
fibrous lining around the disc which allows leaking of fluid irritating the nerves, causing pain) Won't bore you with the details of pain which I am sure you all know too well. I was desperate. About two months later found Sarno's "Healing Back Pain".
I was immediately sure this was the answer. Then got "MindBody Connection". Then got video. Have read/seen all numerous times. No relief. I have basically become a Sarno groupie. I am a real believer but can't seem to find the key for me. Have explored just about any emotion that has ever come my way. Recalled scores of painful memories. continue to excersize nearly every day. I do not do it as strenuously as I did in pre-pain days, but I am out there. He says in books/video not to excersize too strenuously until you have built up your confidence. I called his office but was told he does not see out of state patients. Was recommended to one of his followers 4 hours from where I live. Went to see him. He was a great guy with a lot of insight but does not do the seminar approach. I have finally, after a year-plus of poor sleep and late night floor pacing caved in to take a non-narcotic pain reliever and a sleeping pill 3-4 nights a week. It is amazing how much better I feel after a good nights sleep. The sleep deprivation of going it on my own, even telling myself that the pain was oxygen deprivation was making me literally sick. I have not tried journalling on a regular basis. It's not really my style, it seems so repetetive. I have gone over feelings and emotions in my mind so much through this process that it is making me feel neurotic. I definately fit the Sarno profile of the achiever, perfectionist, pleaser, difficult childhood experiences, but how much can you review this? I do it daily as he suggests but it is really just getting tedious with still no relief from the pain. Any suggestions?
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2005 : 07:31:20
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Keeping a journal and dialoging to yourself about all the important close relationships in your life is something you ought to try even if it is repetitive. Try to list all the aspects of each person that may be causing you anger that you up till now have pushed onto the back burner. Try to turn off the judgemental part of yourself while you are doing this and just write down whatever comes to mind. If you feel any energy or emotion from what you are writing, stop writing, and try and sink into the emotion as much as you can.
If you have painful memories from your childhood it may not be enough to simply recall them. Try to visualize yourself back into the scene as much as you can and if you can actually try to feel the feelings.
I think you need to get over the hangup that you have about journaling because it is a good way to sort out the confused bunch of emotions that are in your head.
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Suz
559 Posts |
Posted - 10/14/2005 : 08:08:44
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Mary,
Repetition - is key. The unconscious needs to be retrained to stop using the body as a distraction to painful emotions. Sarno's method suggests constantly switching your thoughts away from your pain and to emotions. It really takes practice and perserverance - but it works. I also love asking myself the question:
"What am I not facing in my life?" What am I not dealing with?"
It is as if emotions get stuck in us and need to come out. I was brought up to just cope and not feel - put on a brave face and keep on going - repressing and repressing. It is the great "copers" of this world who develope TMS.
Journalling is a very very good idea. I also like to watch a sad movie and then let myself cry - switch my thoughts to something in my own life and let it all out.
Yes - it certainly sounds self-indulgent and self obssessed - but not really in the long run. This work allows me to have a long term pain free future. I have been working on this for a year and a half - my progress is slow but I get pain less and less now and for shorter periods of time. Recently, I had no pain for 3 months -then it came back for two weeks and now it has gone again. It will get less and less. I had excruciating sciatic pain for 12 years - a very long time to suffer. They told me it was herniated discs - what nonsense!
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MaryB
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2005 : 06:57:44
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| thanks to both suz and miehnesor. I am taking your advise and starting to journal. Is it ever boring to you? I am writing down painful and other strongly emotional feelings but I have done it so much(in my mind through this "Sarno experience" if not on paper that I now actually just feel a little impatient with the writing of it. I am a believer in this, though. I am just disappointed with the length of time as opposed to the way Sarno describes it. He says two to six weeks and then call him if it's not working! I'm on one year! I wish I had access to the guru himself and his lecture program. I guess I feel like it would provide the key that I'm not finding. |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2005 : 11:01:30
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His full lecture program is sold on his website. He does not say any more or any less in this video than he would if you were with him live. The website is: http://www.healingbackpain.com/
Remember, it is not the emotions - such as anger- that we know about and express that is causing your pain. Dar. Sarno sates: "TMS is a response to anger-rage generated in the unconscious(in which case you are unaware of it), or conscious anger supressed. TMS is not a response to conscious anger felt or expressed." (Mind Body Connection, pg. 165)
It appears that one almost has to guess what they think may be bothering them on the inside. The goal is to keep focused on the emotions and off the pain. You may actually never know what emotion or factor brought about the pain, but just thinking psychologically is the goal.
Dr. Sarno also states that "the quality and quantity of the underlying emotion determines how long resolution will take..." He also states that repudiating the structural reasons for the pain and constant repetition of TMS principles in your mind are very important to bring about recovery. Please read page 161 and 162 of The MindBody Connection for what he has to say a |
Edited by - n/a on 10/15/2005 11:02:35 |
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mco
Belize
3 Posts |
Posted - 10/16/2005 : 08:30:28
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Repetition is key to reprograming in your mind the way you handle present and past stressfull situations. Even things you cant imagine being stressed about. Expample: I am sitting here after just reading my paper, having my coffee. I have my most of my day planned, which includes watching a football game and a few other things that dont include my family (I am VERY happily married) I find myself feeling really guilty (not conciously) about that and realized lately that that is a very large part of my tms. Daily repression about people that I love. I am a good father and a good husband, but deep down I don't think I can ever be good enough (goodism and perfectionism) I somehow feel like because I am having some time to myself today, I should be in there making my wife breakfast in bed and reading to my son to make up for it.(which I do often) And feeling a bit of repressed anxiety because I am not. It has taken about 6 months of daily reflection to realise that things that are right in front of me everyday can be the cause of physical pain. I think of these things often now and even get very angry (in private) It is almost as if deep down, my subconcious is blaming them for making me feel this way. But I cant express this anger as that is not proper. So I express the anger in private. At first a lot of cursing and yelling about how unfair it all is etc.. now I can more just get angry in my mind.
Anger has also been a great help in old childhood memories. Dont just think about them , get angry, its a lifetime of repressed emotions. Dont just think about these things and wait and see if it helps, get angry, curse , yell, scream.(in private, driving, when no one is home, I would be pretty embarrassed if anyone heard one of my tirades)) Its not fair and is never going to be fair. I started off taking Baseballs advise, Getting almost crazy mad everytime I get a twinge of pain or start focusing my body, now over time, I can just get a bit angry in my mind and take charge. Crazy stuff, but very effective. I am 45 and have had a good 20 years of physical misery that I would not have had to endure if I knew then what I now know. all the best to you. BE STRONG!!! you will prevail |
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MaryB
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2005 : 13:52:33
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Dear MCO
Thank you for taking the time to write what you did. I hope you get this response. You really hit home with your experience. I have been spending possibly too much time trying to think of all the big things I that have effected me negatively. Your telling me of the guilt of thinking of your own fun every now and then rather than always catering to others in your life is something I experience every day. I have a fantastic husband who is really devoted and in my mind less selfish than I am. I LOVE alone time. I was an only child and I really need that time for a re-charge. I feel so guilty doing things that don't include him (like even just going to read in a coffee shop) that I almost feel like I have to hide it.(Now that's repression.) I feel guily as if I don't appreciate how fortunate I have been. But if I don't have that alone time I get so cranky and irritable I have to repress just for people to want to be around me. I do have some painful childhood memories but somehow I don't really have the feeling that I haven't dealt with them. I have tried dredging them up and almost forced myself to try to feel angry or sad. I can't say that it isn't a little moving but I can't seem to promote any intense feeling. I feel that those issues may be resolved. I think that the biggest things are unwarranted, inappropriate feelings of guilt. About all kinds of things. Things that probably are my fault but just part of being human and things that I can't help (global warming!). Plus I think I am probably pretty suggestable (i.e. cut my foot when I was 6 and within 20 minutes had pain in jaw confirming certain deadly case of lock-jaw).
I wonder if TMS is sustained and prolonged in people like that, because I have from the beginning been sure that TMS was my issue, so just believing doesn't seem to be enough for me.
Thanks again, MARY |
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n/a
560 Posts |
Posted - 10/18/2005 : 16:47:52
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Mary
You are talking about the emotions you can feel, but the real culprit is not them, but the repressed emotions you are not aware of and are buried deep in your unconscious. Nevertheless, to link the pain to emotions is a step in the right direction. |
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MaryB
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 10/19/2005 : 11:20:20
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To Peter
Is there another method you suggest? I understood that since we can't know about the unconscious emotions, we are to explore the childhood issues, personality traits, and current pressures/stresses
to confront the pain. Both in an analysis of our life, through listing and journalling, and when we are particularly conscious of the pain. In HEALING BACK PAIN he says "when patients find themselves being aware of the pain they must consciously and forcefully shift their attention to something psychological, like something they are worried about, a chronic family or financial problem, a recurrent source of irritation, anything in the psychological realm..." (page 77). Since we can't know what the unconcious is hiding from us do we have any other way of addressing the symptom of pain other than acknowledging that we know it is induced psychologically and reviewing what is bothering us consciously? I am trying to journal now and make lists of pressures. It seems pretty repetative because it's pretty much always the same list. I can't seem to generate the kind of emotion that others mention as being cathartic(anger/rage or sadness) even though I think that I am comfortable with experiencing and showing strong emotions. It feels inauthentic to try to induce them. I have tried the screaming in the car, ranting in the house, etc... approach as well as yelling at my brain and telling it to stop this charade as Sarno suggests. It really just seems to fall flat. |
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miehnesor
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - 10/21/2005 : 12:16:18
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Mary- Do you think the TMS is being caused by 1)- some relationship or situation in your current life or 2)- residual unresolved emotions left over from your childhood? You may not know the answer to that question but I think it is an important one to ask yourself. The suspected answer may chart the future course of your TMS work. If the answer is 1) then you should really take a close look at your relationship with your significant other and really see if you are hiding or repressing anger towards him. Is there a boundary of lack of one that is causing resentment and anger. Also take a look at your work setting and probe for repressed anger there. If your answer is 2) then you have a much different kind of work ahead of you and you may need to look at the relationship with your primary care givers in childhood and I would strongly suggest looking into inner child work which has helped me a ton.
Most importantly don't give up on the work. Rest assured that there is some powerful stuff going on underneath that is just looking for resolution. |
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feeling confused
