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 Memory loss/blackout?
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solarflower

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - 03/06/2019 :  06:01:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Let me start by saying that I am not new to TMS, it's been years of aches and pains and a lot of hypochondria, symptoms that seemed like cancer, MS, back pain (I had sciatica on both sides), mental illness, recently 24/7 dizziness, walking on a boat feeling, nausea and belching. All of those came and went when I applied emotional release and general TMS principles. It has been relentless for the last 5 - 6 months because I am under a great deal of stress regarding my mother. I have just managed to heal from dizziness and nausea which worried me a lot, and when I came back home from a difficult placement with a lady with Alzheimer's I had a very strange event on Saturday.

I live with a dog (she is not mine) and when I came home in the evening there was just the two of us in the house. I had been very stressed because of something that happened with my mum just an hour ago. The dog, Cleo, has been following me up and down a few times, to my bedroom, and back to the kitchen, I fed her some cheeky sausages and then played with her. The last time we came up to my bedroom she sat down next to me as I was watching something on the computer. After a while she realised that I didn't have any more food and went around the bed, towards the door. My thought process at the time was: "She will want to go out, I will need to stand up and open the door for her" but I decided to wait until she scratched at the door. She didn't. There was total silence and I thought she just lied down next to the radiator. After a few minutes I stood up from the computer and decided to see what she was up to. I was totally shocked because she wasn't in the room. I looked under my curtains next to the window but she wasn't there. So I opened the bedroom door (it was closed) and there she was on the landing. I was really puzzled because I didn't remember opening the door for her at all and the door is very heavy with a spring mechanism, you can't leave it ajar. She is a very old dog and has difficulties walking, she would never be able to open this door.

I have a total memory loss of what happened. I must have got up from my chair, let her out, come back to the computer and then after a few minutes start looking for her. It's not a habitual activity for me, it was the first time she spent any time in my bedroom, I have only lived in this house for 3 weeks. Or we might have gone down together and then I came up on my own, sat down at the computer and then started looking for her. But my last conscious memory is of her sitting behind my chair and then moving away to the other side of the room. So I either blanked out opening the door for her and letting her out, or I blanked out going downstairs and coming back on my own.

Either way it is really disturbing and scary. Normally when I do strange things, or forget something I can then re-remember doing it. This is a total blank. Nothing.

I have not slept properly since, thinking I am probably developing dementia at 43. I can feel myself spiralling down into health anxiety obsession. But this one, I can't really talk myself out of because the symptom is gone, and I might not be aware when it happens again. Could my brain be so clever that it has finally come up with a symptom of torture that I can't really do anything about? I find it also interesting that this blackout/memory loss is so similar to this lady I have just been working with.

I am not on any medication or herbs and I don't drink alcohol at all because I'm allergic. I haven't noticed being more forgetful recently, no one has complained about it and I have been testing myself since Saturday all the time, it seems long-term and short-term memory seems to be working. But yet it was very spooky. Short of the dog teleporting through the door I have no explanation for it other than a total blackout.

tennis tom

USA
4590 Posts

Posted - 03/07/2019 :  11:44:58  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi Solarflower,

How are you doing? Your post "reaks" of TMS! That's a good thing! All you have to do is have a change of mind, accepting that it's TMS. It's all about FEAR--as Churchill or was it Roosevelt said during WW2, "All we have to fear, is fear itself." Believing that it's TMS and not a laundry list of structural and affective/emotional symptoms will banish the fears.

Are you familiar with Georgie Oldfield, a TMS pioneer in the UK? If reading the TMS books isn't working to banish your fears, then contact her or one of her practitioners :


Georgie Oldfield MCSP
Physiotherapist & Founder of SIRPA

SIRPA Ltd, 19 Longley Lane, Huddersfield, HD4 6PS, United Kingdom +44 1484 452500

How 'bout an update on how you and the dog are doing?
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solarflower

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - 03/08/2019 :  12:28:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The disappearing dog is doing better than me, that's for sure!

Thanks for replying, really appreciate it, how are you?

Unfortunately tennis tom I know you are right. Nothing else has happened since, at least I'm not aware of it. I hate how this syndrome messes with our heads. It seems as if every single time it's the end of the world. I know this feeling very well from my childhood, my mother has borderline personality and her dramas were always so convincing, she used to make me believe she was going to die on regular basis, and of course, it seemed to me as a result I was going to die too. Very scary for a little child. TMS is recreating that drama for me now.

I know about Georgie, I get her newsletter :) she is awesome.

Edited by - solarflower on 03/08/2019 12:29:07
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tennis tom

USA
4590 Posts

Posted - 03/09/2019 :  12:22:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by solarflower


Could my brain be so clever that it has finally come up with a symptom of torture that I can't really do anything about? I find it also interesting that this blackout/memory loss is so similar to this lady I have just been working with.


ABSOLUTELY!!! That's purpose of TMS/psychosomatic dis-ease. The unconscious playing tricks on us in a feeble, but very effective attempt to PROTECT us. PROTECTING us from consciously feeling the emotional pain, it has decided we are not ready for. It fears we will have an emotional outburst--make a scene--embarrass ourselves, diminishing our standing in the collective social meme--making us outcasts.

The TMS gremlin creates psychological defense mechanisms--TMS structural and affective/emotional symptoms. The TMS gremlin steering our unconscious, guarding our persona, IS very clever! Sarno says, tell it to piss off--maybe, not exactly in those words. Take back control of your destiny, that YOU are in control of your. Or, thank it for doing it's job, trying to PROTECT you when life's vicissiturds become too overwhelming, for our our nervous systems.

It sounds like you were just so tired, that you fell asleep--no harm, no foul. The dog lives, you live, albeit fearful of a some tragedy that never happened, except in your TMS mind. As Mark Twain may have said, "I've felt many troubles, that never happened". Feeling/visualizing imagined fear, creates the same emotional chemistry in the autonomic nervous system as the real situation would. Change your way of thinking, change your thoughts, take conscious control of your fight/flight/freeze reactions.

You treated a lady with the same condition that day--the power of suggestion. There are many "strange" occurrences, like sleep-walking, amnesia, dreaming--it sounds like you had a very stressful day/life, and you had a mild "spell"--your TMS gremlin put a spell on you--I look forward to these--I call them naps.

Have you had any sessions with one of Georgia Oldfield's SIRPA TMS practitioners?

Cheers,
tt

Edited by - tennis tom on 03/10/2019 09:13:28
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solarflower

United Kingdom
3 Posts

Posted - 03/18/2019 :  07:48:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Tennis Tom, I wish I had a miniature YOU in my pocket for the times I obsess about this symptom!

I tried to stay away from posting when I'm in crisis because I hate posting rants and spread fear but it's been over 2 weeks and my brain can't let go..

Is it really possible for memory loss to be TMS? How could the brain generate such a symptom? I can understand pain or body sensations but it's another level to wipe out the whole chunk of activities that I should really remember doing. I was so convinced I knew what was going on around me that it was a shock to discover that I must have been kind of "sleep walking" opening doors and letting creatures in and out.

I don't know if my brain is clever enough to come up with such a symptom! But it did coincide with me working for 2 weeks with a lady with dementia and I remember thinking that I was so scared I was going to get it. The problem for me is to really believe it's TMS, I have never read anything about memory problems being TMS, so it's tough to be the only one with this and convincing yourself it's real.

If I can't crack it on my own I will seek help from Georgie.

Thanks for listening
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tennis tom

USA
4590 Posts

Posted - 03/18/2019 :  08:31:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by solarflower

Tennis Tom, I wish I had a miniature YOU in my pocket for the times I obsess about this symptom!


Better yet, keep a copy of one of Dr. Sarno's books in your pocket or purse and keep reading it until your unconscious is convinced. SteveO, also has a little book that summarizes the Good Doctor's theory, called something like "Dr. Sarno's Ten Best TMS Points".

Edit: Here's a link (hopefully) to SteveO's little book : "Dr. John Sarno's Top 10 Healing Discoveries"

http://steveozanich.com/index.php/books/dr-john-sarno-s-top-10-discoveries



quote:
Is it really possible for memory loss to be TMS?



"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno


quote:
But it did coincide with me working for 2 weeks with a lady with dementia...


The power of suggestion--your unconscious fell for it.

quote:
If I can't crack it on my own I will seek help from Georgie


That's a good idea, people would be better seeing therapists when they are feeling good, but I don't think that happens much.

Cheers,
tt

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http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605

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======================================================

"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod

=================================================


TMS PRACTITIONERS:

John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035

Dr. Sarno is now retired, if you call this number you will be referred to his associate Dr. Rashbaum.

"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno



Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
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Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist



Edited by - tennis tom on 03/18/2019 16:19:01
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