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art
1903 Posts |
 Posted - 06/01/2005 : 18:50:58
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Since TMS by definition does not involved structural problems, I sometimes wonder how we choose one body part over another in which to feel pain.
One aspect of my ball of the foot injury that has made it so difficult for me to accept as TMS was because it just seemed such a striking injury in its way. I'd never even heard of metatarsalgia, or even knew you could get injured in that area. The question for me became, how could I possibly have concocted this whole pseudo-injury thing with its whole constellation of characteristic symptoms when I'd never even heard of it.
But as I think back to when it all started, I definitely can begin to make a case for it being psychosomatic..
It began with a pair of new orthotics that had this kind of ridge on the end where they met the ball of the foot. I was pissed off at the podiatrist that these expensive inserts should have this uncomfortable ridge as it clearly was due to shoddy workmanship...
I made him take them back and make me another pair and they came back with the same thing. As at the time I was convinced I needed them, I thought, well screw it, I'll just wear them and as he promised, I'd soon get used to them. I remember reasuring myself that they couldn't do any real damage as it was a very small ridge...
When I did end up njured, I almost couldn't believe it. Even then it had the feel to me of this very, very weird coincidence. Now of course, it's beginning to look like I was right, that it is too weird a coincidence not to have some good explanation...
TMS-wise, I was pissed off at the podiatrist (the requisite anger)and obviously focused in on the ball of the foot, in fact the exact spot that's now painful. It makes perfect sense to me now why I "chose" that particular area.
Wondering if anyone else has some thoughts on why they think they've got TMS in one spot over another..
For one example, there were recently a very interesting thread about some back problems being connected with a perceived "lack of support" ...a mindset that would make the back and spine a very ready candidate, given its obvious metaphoric possibilities..
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celestica
Canada
38 Posts |
Posted - 06/02/2005 : 05:00:27
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Symptom locations and emotional significance:
First bout of RSI in wrists:
I was a bartender and hated my job getting young men drunk - my father is an alcoholic. My hands were telling me not to do the job.
Second bout of RSI in wrists and hands: University - around exam and major paper time. Subconsciously needing to be perfect at school, to be seen as the "good child", the smart one, the genius in the family, desperate for validation as a person with value.
Origin of back pain in SI joint: a skiing accident when I was 14 that put me in a cast for one year. I wanted to go skiing in bad conditions and my mother said no and my father took me just to get back at my mother and render her powerless. The ankle was broken in a million places and my mother was furious with me, very blaming for the whole year. My parents made me take the bus and subway alone, and did not drive me places or coddle me in any way. I had to rig up my own suspension system tying my leg to the shower curtain in order to bathe. My leg grew slightly shorter (6 mm) and more curved than the other.
So there was a lot of emotional pain stored in that ankle/leg/hip and my back pain (flat on the floor, bag of frozen peas on it) came 2-3 times a year for about 6 years. When I heard of Sarno (from Dr. Weil) and his theories I was incredulous but checked in with my chiropractor on the dates of when my back went out. Like clockwork, it was during exam and paper time. As soon as I started asking my back what was bothering me and talked about it the pain would disappear. Pain free in the back now for 8 years. So back pain for me was connected to feeling overwhelmed in the present, and deeper, not valued or protected by my parents.
Osteoarthritis: I got this as an autoimmune reaction to having Fifth's Disease, a virus I caught while working in as a child protection agent. I was angry at the job (totally overwhelming, out of control, way too much pressure, the role of policing families is greater than helping them)and repressed it totally, just to get the experience. My hand swelled up rather impressively and the arthritis doctor said I could have it for the rest of my life and cause permanent damage to the joint. I suspected a strong mind/body connection and took some time off (no pain), then quit. My last day of work was my last day of pain. So - angry, unsupported, feeling totally out of control of the stress of work.
Dietary sensitivities: yeast wheat sugar fermented products - connected to feeling not safe in my body, as if my body is attacking me. Related to childhood physical abuse, my body betrayed me by feeling so much pain and not being able to stop it.
Now? in my 9th month of pregnancy a minor reappearance of sciatica and 2-3 days of swelling in my hand that feels arthritic. I did some emotional work in therapy and reconnecting with my partner and both are now O.K. Yay!
Amelia |
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Why this and not that
