| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Caroline |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 16:07:28
Hi everybody,
Here's another newbie question for all the experts:
Every time something annoying happens at work (which is almost every day) I can feel the pain creeping up my neck like a stranglehold and even as the episode passes, the pain simply settles there for the day. I think I understand Sarnos' theory but there seems to be such a clear connection between work-related incidents and my neck pain that I can't figure out what the subconscious has to do with it.
What should I be looking for: Hidden feelings behind the conscious feelings? What could that possibly be if the problem is obviously that I can't stand my work? If the pain settles for a long time, is it that these stupid work incidents threaten to trigger other feelings?
Or is it that the work incidents are causing an "overflow" of rage and I should focus on all the stuff that is burried underneath?
help! I'm totally confused... |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| celestica |
Posted - 05/14/2005 : 21:09:14
Hi Caroline,
you seem to have hit the nail right on the head about subconscious feelings related to current pain. You have discovered that you are most triggered by feeling controlled and that you have low self esteem - both connected to your relationship with your mother.
Try exploring your feelings about these two issues in therapy - how you felt diminished, unappreciated, unnoticed, hurt, etc.
Best of luck,
Amelia. |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 19:06:39
Caroline- I don't have a lot of time now but just wanted to say that you probably would benefit from a therapist at this point. You've clearly got a lot of emotion bottled up from your previous post but its like the layers of an onion. You have to peel off the outer layers before you can get to the inner ones. Don't be hard on yourself for not feeling like you got anywhere with the childhood stuff. It will come when its ready. Commit yourself to the process and stick with it even when you feel like its useless. I had that useless feeling for years and then stuff just started happening. I'm not unique. You can do it. The answer to TMS lies within you. I'm haven't rid myself of TMS but i've turned the corner and am gaining on it. |
| Caroline |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 12:15:02
quote:
Originally posted by miehnesor
Caroline-The experiences in work are likely triggering deeper emotions in your childhood and stirring them up requiring TMS to distract.
Hi Miehnesor,
Good question. Yes, I was exploring these childhood issues for a while but they are not leading me anywhere in terms of understanding subsconscious mechanism. I journaled a lot about my mother and had no breakthrough whatsoever. However, I think the work thing and my impossible mother are connected. The things that REALLY make me fly off the handle (and not just at work but at home too) is the feeling of being controlled by someone, of having no power. Since my mother was a control freak, it's no wonder. So when someone at work tries to impose on me, I have this epidermic reaction that is clearly motivated by fear (of being controlled). Other than that, I have not gone far with the childhood stuff. Can't figure out what might still be hidden or repressed in that area...Of course the low self-esteem is probably traceable to my relationship to my mother too! |
| Caroline |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 12:04:59
quote:
Originally posted by Baseball65
OH MY GOD !!!!!!!
You just clued me into why I have been feeling like a dry old piece of beef jerky.
Baseball65
How funny! Well You're very welcome! Your previous posts (urging more introspection and looking at self esteem issues) actually led me to this idea. And I sure can relate to your anger about your perfect boss. Mine is hard-working, professional, sweet, patient, dedicated ...everything I'm not. I find myself getting mad at her for silly things but deep down I know I'm just jealous!
|
| miehnesor |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 10:37:20
Caroline-The experiences in work are likely triggering deeper emotions in your childhood and stirring them up requiring TMS to distract. Before you posted about rage with your mom and I was wondering where you went with that. Have you dialoged on this issue? Have you talked to someone else about it? Remember that the issues at work often can help us identify where we need to go to get at the hidden childhood issues. If you can modulate and really get rid of your TMS w/o doing the early stuff- that's great your done. If not then you need to go backwards in time until you see TMS modulating. |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 10:08:15
OH MY GOD !!!!!!!
You just clued me into why I have been feeling like a dry old piece of beef jerky.
I Quit my job and have gone to work for myself and my friend.I haven't been working as often,but find I can work a longer day(10+ hours) without feeling fatigued......6 hours with my old boss felt like a week.
Anyways...we've been totally happy,my buddy and I...we both like the same stuff,work at the same pace and are pretty common sense about everything.
I woke up this morning gagging from congestion and so did HE.
Your post just clued me into what might have triggered our collective malady(My root canal is killing me also)
Him and I are both failed/frustrated songwriters...we're both "critically acclaimed" but fiscally broke(Hell..we're painting,right?)
The Home we're painting belongs to a very,very sweet and successful songwriter/performer...she is/has everything WE would want...Gorgeous Home,Happy marriage,great attitude..etc,etc.
when I read:.. quote:
.... rather than focused on what really bugs me: my self-perceived lack of achievement -Caroline
It all makes sense...we can't NOT like her or Bag on her...she's too down to Earth and cool...but deep down we're Jealous.She is an 'insider' and we are 'outsiders' and just to make it worse,she treats us as peers and doesn't give us any reason to resent her....Imagine the CHEEK!!
I was going to post a "I wonder what's wrong with me" post,but I clicked on this one and I think I just had my 'aha' moment.
Thank you very much
Baseball65 |
| art |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 10:02:00
Sandy wrote quote:
I remember saying to myself that only a good backache would get me out of this...with a little chuckle, knowing that I didn't get backaches anymore.
Well sure enough, the next day, there it was.
I have a version of this. I'm fond of telling people how I went from being a three times a chiropractor junkie to basically being "cured" by reading one little paperback book. Almost invariably, after bragging like this I get a few twinges, just to keep me on my toes...
I don't care though. I'm gonna keep bragging... |
| Caroline |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 09:03:41
quote:
Originally posted by Dave
[quote]
Consider that your anger towards your colleagues might be disguising feelings of low self-esteem.
Thank you Dave, and everyone else who responded to my post. I had a thought in the middle of the night (couldn't sleep because I was ruminating as usual). I think I am dramatizing things at work on purpose because it keeps my attention busy on the day to day rather than focused on what really bugs me: my self-perceived lack of achievement. I started reassessing every little thing that upset me in the last few days and found that none of those things were particularly serious, yet I had made a big deal out of them. I must say I have always been like this: the queen of drama (and contrary to those of you who repress angry reactions, I usually don't! If my dentist had mishandled my apointment I would have made a scene...and still had neck pain!)
This realization did seem to make a difference in my neck pain but did not stop me from having another little outburst at work today! The subsconscious really is a slow learner....Oh well, when I finally get fired, I'll have plenty of time to work on it :) |
| Dave |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 08:52:24
quote:
What should I be looking for: Hidden feelings behind the conscious feelings? What could that possibly be if the problem is obviously that I can't stand my work?
Ask yourself why you can't stand the work. Why are you annoyed by these episodes?
Possibly it is because they serve to unconsciously undermine your feelings of self-worth. Perhaps you don't get the respect or recognition you feel you deserve, from your boss or your co-workers. Maybe you don't feel that you are reaching your fullest potential.
Consider that your anger towards your colleagues might be disguising feelings of low self-esteem. Consciously it might seem as if they are responsible for you not living up to your potential, but unconsciously you don't feel that you are living up to your potential. Getting angry at them is just a smokescreen.
This is a hypothetical situation, I'm not suggesting this applies to you. It's just an example of digging deeper to find that it is often you being hard on yourself that contributes to the unconscious rage. |
| ssjs |
Posted - 05/13/2005 : 05:41:19
I remember once when I had been without back pain for a long time, I was back in school and loving it at 38 yrs old, and yet totally overwhelmed.
I remember saying to myself that only a good backache would get me out of this...with a little chuckle, knowing that I didn't get backaches anymore.
Well sure enough, the next day, there it was.
Just because that was my only way out.Knowing I was stressed and overwhelmed and resentful, wasn't the key. It was the fact that pain was my ONLY way out my situation! A situation that I had willingly and happily put myself in, yet was now driving me crazy. I knew all of that!
Anyway, in my crooked bent over travels that day, I left a very expensive piece of equipment in the wrong room, and without realizing it, ran off in a FAST sprint to retrieve it. At that moment, I seemed to be in perfect shape.
When I realized...I just laughed.
Sandy |
| smth416 |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 23:32:42
My stress level at work is high just about everyday. I work a super high stress job in the energy trading field.
Although I have almost totally ended my pain in general by finding Sarno, I must admit my neck pain will come after a stressful day.
It's proof my pain is caused by my brain because I don't work a physically laboring job. It's just pressure and stress that aggravate the pain.
I write tonight only because I cant sleep tonight for the first time in awhile because my neck hurts. Today was Energy Day at the NYMEX and it was a long, stressful one.
Although I dant hate my job or coworkers I hate the pressure and stress and am worn down emotionally right now (at the age of 26)
.-Al |
| art |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 18:15:44
Mary wrote quote:
In other words, if we weren't so socially programmed to "bite our tongues", which is what you have to do to survive in the modern civilized world, then we would be free to speak our minds, say what we think of the annoyance and say what we feel towards the person who created the annoyance
.
I've been thinking a lot about this...In the dentist's office, I so wanted to go on a bit of a rant...But of course I didn't, just swallowed all the anger and irritation, even felt compelled to smile and show what a good sport I am..No wonder my back went into spasms..But on the other hand, I'm not sure that showing anger would have helped either..To whom should I direct it? No one did it to me on purpose. I wans't being singled out in any way. Someone simply made a mistake. Besides, I'm just not good at anger. Invariably it seems to me, I end up feeling worse. They've done studies on people in cars who express their anger by cursing, or honking their horns or whatever and compared them with people who just "bottle it"...The second group had much better blood pressure scores.. |
| marytabby |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 17:20:00
Caroline,
My understanding of it is this: it's not always hidden stuff that sets us off. It can be the stuff of everyday annoyances that we cannot necessarily express. In other words, we cannot walk around flailing our arms yelling, and saying what we think of these foolish people, because if we walked around like that, it would not be acceptable in society. In other words, if we weren't so socially programmed to "bite our tongues", which is what you have to do to survive in the modern civilized world, then we would be free to speak our minds, say what we think of the annoyance and say what we feel towards the person who created the annoyance. I bet, like most of us, since your job is your bread and butter, you don't say everything you think/feel about these jerks who piss you off, because you'd be out of a job or you'd be looked upon as a lunatic, a real loser, a person with a lot of emotional issues, an outcast. As Sarno (or one of the other TMS authors) says, you may be looked at like a crazy person who needs a straight jacket. In the modern world, we all have to suppress what we think/feel so we can get along in life with other humans. It's a simple concept when you think about it. So keep reading, reading, reading all the books. That's what helps me on a regular basis. By the way, I'm not disagreeing with the authors, I don't think we should be allowed to say everything we feel/think. I just agree with them that it's the reason we're so messed up physically, because the emotions have to be kept at bay. |
| art |
Posted - 05/12/2005 : 16:49:59
HI Caroline,
In a way I'm a newbie as well. I've had some wonderful success with this stuff a few years ago when I was suffering from back problems. Now I'm just coming back to it.
I wouldn't say you need some sort of deep dark subconscious reason at all..The key, onsofar as I understand it, is that you identify the emotional stressors. When they're obvious, that doesn;t make them any less valid...
Last week the dentist office I go to neglected to put my name in the book, so that when I showed up for my appointment they couldn't take me...Yikes. Talk about pissed off..It's a huge chunk out of the day...An hour later I had a back spasm...Made perfect sense in context and I felt no need to try to uncover some hidden childhood traumas..A few years ago I would have been in bed for days with that back spasm...This time, I barely missed a beat... I was at my healthclub working out the very next day. |
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