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I Hear You and I See You

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[quote][i]Originally posted by Lostchild2015[/i]
[br]I was talking to someone recently about the ideas behind the psychogenic symptoms that we have been dealing with.  The way we have been seeing it is that there are feelings and drives that are acting on an unconscious level.  At some point in our lives, we found it necessary to suppress these feelings in order to function.  The physical symptoms are the brain�s way of saving energy in this process by using distraction instead of more energy intensive methods of psychic suppression.

The thoughtful young person I was talking to about this subject, asked the obvious question, �Wouldn�t it be easier to just deal with the suppressed feeling than the distractions?�.  Well, it�s not like I hadn�t thought of this myself, and I explained to her that you don�t have access to that part of your brain, so there�s not much you can do.  It�s kind of hard to prove that the unconscious even exists, let alone accessing it�s issues.

This conversation stuck in the back of my mind, until I had a strange experience that gave me a new idea.  Let me tell you what happened.  I use a small folding bike to commute to work that is stripped down to save weight.  One of the key things missing is a bell.  A bell comes in very handy when coming up behind someone or going around a blind corner.  I�ve gotten used to riding without it on my commute, so the other day I was riding my full size bike for fun, and as I was coming around a wall, I didn�t think to use the bell.

A fast moving jogger came flying around the corner at just the right moment and nearly collided with me.  As I rode on, I felt an overwhelming need to ring the bell.  I found myself ringing it over and over.  Finally, I figured out what was going on.  My unconscious had been freaked out and scared by the near collision, and was trying to get my attention.  It was telling me to use the stupid bell!!!

So I listened inside my head, and there it was.  My unconscious was telling me that it was scared, and somehow I had not been listening.  Talk about a bell going off!  I finally got it.  When I have a symptom, my unconscious is communicating the only way it can, because I am refusing to listen.  So, even though it seems to be the case that physical symptoms are a distraction, they are also a request for attention.

I remembered a line from the show �Parenthood� where the old grandparents had been to couples therapy, and so now whenever Grandma said something important to Grandpa, he would say, �I hear you and I see you�.  Apparently, he had blocked her out some time in the distant past, and needed to remind himself to listen to his significant other.

This is now my go to method to deal with random symptoms.  When I realize that a symptom is occurring, I mentally stop for a moment, and say, �I hear you and I see you�, then I listen for whatever pops into my head.  It is surprising what comes out of nowhere.  I have heard, �I don�t want to be here�, �I want my mommy!� (that one really hurt), �I don�t want to do that�, and even �I�m bored�.  Often I just get dead silence, which I take to mean that my unconscious was acting out for no particular reason at the moment.

Like I always suspected, there is really nothing to be afraid of in your unconscious.  It�s just you, and now that we are kind and caring adults, we can give our inner selves the love and acceptance that was all we ever wanted anyway.  Also, just like with a child, after listening to what is going on, being sympathetic, you have to let them know that causing physical symptoms is not the appropriate way to express feelings, and to stop doing it.

It is definitely a more passive technique than just identifying that you are experiencing a symptom and telling yourself that it is a distraction and ordering it to stop, like I usually do.  With this technique, instead of pushing away the symptoms, it�s more like removing the pressure behind them, and then feeling them ebb away.  I�m kind of curious of where this is going to lead.  It has helped with some of my more difficult symptoms, but it doesn�t seem to be the end of the story.

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T O P I C R E V I E W
Lostchild2015	Posted - 09/05/2015 : 19:30:48 I was talking to someone recently about the ideas behind the psychogenic symptoms that we have been dealing with. The way we have been seeing it is that there are feelings and drives that are acting on an unconscious level. At some point in our lives, we found it necessary to suppress these feelings in order to function. The physical symptoms are the brain�s way of saving energy in this process by using distraction instead of more energy intensive methods of psychic suppression. The thoughtful young person I was talking to about this subject, asked the obvious question, �Wouldn�t it be easier to just deal with the suppressed feeling than the distractions?�. Well, it�s not like I hadn�t thought of this myself, and I explained to her that you don�t have access to that part of your brain, so there�s not much you can do. It�s kind of hard to prove that the unconscious even exists, let alone accessing it�s issues. This conversation stuck in the back of my mind, until I had a strange experience that gave me a new idea. Let me tell you what happened. I use a small folding bike to commute to work that is stripped down to save weight. One of the key things missing is a bell. A bell comes in very handy when coming up behind someone or going around a blind corner. I�ve gotten used to riding without it on my commute, so the other day I was riding my full size bike for fun, and as I was coming around a wall, I didn�t think to use the bell. A fast moving jogger came flying around the corner at just the right moment and nearly collided with me. As I rode on, I felt an overwhelming need to ring the bell. I found myself ringing it over and over. Finally, I figured out what was going on. My unconscious had been freaked out and scared by the near collision, and was trying to get my attention. It was telling me to use the stupid bell!!! So I listened inside my head, and there it was. My unconscious was telling me that it was scared, and somehow I had not been listening. Talk about a bell going off! I finally got it. When I have a symptom, my unconscious is communicating the only way it can, because I am refusing to listen. So, even though it seems to be the case that physical symptoms are a distraction, they are also a request for attention. I remembered a line from the show �Parenthood� where the old grandparents had been to couples therapy, and so now whenever Grandma said something important to Grandpa, he would say, �I hear you and I see you�. Apparently, he had blocked her out some time in the distant past, and needed to remind himself to listen to his significant other. This is now my go to method to deal with random symptoms. When I realize that a symptom is occurring, I mentally stop for a moment, and say, �I hear you and I see you�, then I listen for whatever pops into my head. It is surprising what comes out of nowhere. I have heard, �I don�t want to be here�, �I want my mommy!� (that one really hurt), �I don�t want to do that�, and even �I�m bored�. Often I just get dead silence, which I take to mean that my unconscious was acting out for no particular reason at the moment. Like I always suspected, there is really nothing to be afraid of in your unconscious. It�s just you, and now that we are kind and caring adults, we can give our inner selves the love and acceptance that was all we ever wanted anyway. Also, just like with a child, after listening to what is going on, being sympathetic, you have to let them know that causing physical symptoms is not the appropriate way to express feelings, and to stop doing it. It is definitely a more passive technique than just identifying that you are experiencing a symptom and telling yourself that it is a distraction and ordering it to stop, like I usually do. With this technique, instead of pushing away the symptoms, it�s more like removing the pressure behind them, and then feeling them ebb away. I�m kind of curious of where this is going to lead. It has helped with some of my more difficult symptoms, but it doesn�t seem to be the end of the story.
7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
Lostchild2015	Posted - 09/06/2015 : 20:22:54 Hey RageSootheRatio, I think I get where you are coming from, but in my way of looking at this issue with random symptoms, it is that my conscious self is totally powerless and not really doing anything to cause or exacerbate the symptoms, even if it really, really seems like I am instigating it by thinking of something or feeling a particular way. I treat my unconscious like a separate person in this way. If this "person" causes me to have some weird effect or feeling, it is on them, not me. My usual way of dealing with a symptom is to just say a certain formulation of words, then go on with my day, figuring it is my unconscious's job to stop the symptom since it is the one that caused it in the first place. If my lower back starts hurting, for example, I will say (inside my head), "There is nothing wrong with my back. I am perfectly OK. This is just a distraction from some unconscious emotion. There is nothing wrong with me physically." That is all I feel the need to do; say the words. Strangely, it usually works, at least temporarily, or until another symptom takes its place. I have to agree with Ace1, it sure does seem like a process, but even getting a symptom to switch from pain to itch or maybe to a mild allergic reaction is still a relief. Sometimes, I'm actually almost "normal" for a short time. I'll take whatever I can get.
Ace1	Posted - 09/06/2015 : 18:06:24 Really it's a process. So don't worry. There we many times I thought I had this tms thing figured out only later to find out I really didn't. It really is a process of seeing how your mind is too excited when you have symptoms and part of your body is constricting in response. Typically you may also be pushing your body to go beyond its limit or its in habit mode to do this from previous behavior. You start to see this better over time and you get better at pulling back from it. This goes along with accepting the symptoms. I hope this helps more.
RageSootheRatio	Posted - 09/06/2015 : 16:40:44 Interesting, Lostchild2015 - What I find, is that when I focus on consciously TRYING not to 'strain' or to 'figure things out' it often just ADDS strain (I'm a very strained person!) and makes the pain worse. It seems there is some 'feedback loop' between the conscious / unconscious (body/ mind) that I haven't been able to tap into effectively.
Lostchild2015	Posted - 09/06/2015 : 14:04:13 Thanks for the feedback. After a couple of weeks of using "I hear you and I see you" to stop symptoms, it seemed to be working less and less effectively. I then had a strange revelation. While it was true that I was not "hearing" my unconscious as it alternately raged and whined, it is also true that my unconscious had blocked me (my conscious self) out also. I am working now on trying to get my unconscious mind to "hear and see me" as well. Although it seems like I am playing acting coach to a ghost. I think this is a real step toward removing the basic conflict that seems to drive these psychosomatic symptoms that are such a pain (literally).
RageSootheRatio	Posted - 09/06/2015 : 10:22:46 oohhhh! THANKS Ace1! It really helps me to hear you say things in your own words and I found this really helpful in your tying this to my experience of "strain" as well. I seem to have this constant conflict between really wanting things in my life (just being able to DO simple everyday things I mean, like grocery shopping, work, a little socializing) and TRYING HARD (! ie straining) not to strain over them!
Ace1	Posted - 09/06/2015 : 10:14:50 Yes this is the only way in my opinion to treat symptoms and have lasting change. You have to realize your mind is mentally strained when you have symptoms and take heed to try and relax that strain at that time. Knowing why helps you to achieve the relaxation easier.
RageSootheRatio	Posted - 09/06/2015 : 08:08:49 THANKS Lostchild2015 for a MOST interesting post. I really hope you post more as you continue on: good, bad or even ugly ! Or even different ideas you start, results, new thoughts, etc. >When I realize that a symptom is occurring, I mentally stop for a moment, and say, �I hear you and I see you�, then I listen for whatever pops into my head. I am going to start experimenting with this, as some of my symptoms have really ramped up lately.

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