| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| moose1 |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 05:52:48
Hi All,
Well, I continue to wake up every morning with a grinding low back ache, which then usually goes on to last all day. I've tried now for three years to rid myself of this thing. I've tried to de-condition myself to wake up with it every way you can imagine. I've tried ignorning it (sorry, but this just does not work), I've tried having an inner dialoge before bed telling myself that there's no reason I should wake up with pain, etc, etc, I've tried meditation, journaling, and on and on. I've been to two shrinks. Useless. I simply cannot get rid of this pain and it's making me totally miserable and, as you can tell, furious. To compound the problem, it's messing up my sleep, which is fitful, light and unrefreshing. How can you de-condition yourself while your asleep? You can't. As you can tell, I'm feeling completely at a loss and out of control. Sarno simply doesn't work for this particular problem. I appreciate any words of encouragement.
Moose |
| 13 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Caroline |
Posted - 05/05/2005 : 14:31:34
quote:
Originally posted by Michele
I wake up stiff and with the most pain, probably because I hate sleeping with my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but I can't stand to sleep with him. He's a big guy, hogs the covers, snores and breathes loud, and takes my pillow. Unfortunately, there is no other place in the house for me (or him) to sleep, so I do all sorts of "mental" things to get through the night.
How funny Michele, I have the SAME problem. I suffered with insomnia because of this and finally I put my foot down. I said we are buying a king size bed now! We did even better than that: we got two single beds and brought them close together. This has brought 100% improvement to our relationship, not to mention better sleep for me. Sometimes the solution is pretty simple. As my former psychologist used to say "suffering is not required!" |
| JoeW |
Posted - 05/04/2005 : 15:53:00
I have pain in the morning, before getting out of bed, and it occurred to me recently that my alarm clock could be causing a lot of repressed rage. I like my job, but to be honest, if I didn't have to work for money, I wouldn't, and I also wouldn't set an alarm clock to force me to get out of bed earlier than I would like. I like my sleep, and ideally I would wake up and get out of bed each day when I'm good and ready, and not before. |
| pault |
Posted - 05/04/2005 : 05:01:45
Moose1,your problem is you have a very clever unconscious mind that won't give up! Why? who knows.Just try to remember that the pain is harmless,remind your brain of it.Forget the source or why,just try to convince your brain the pain serves no purpose and push yourself by it.Keep reading/keep connected. Get well, Paul. |
| moose1 |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 19:26:47
Thanks to everyone for all the thoughtful (as usual) replies. I'm going to lick this damn thing one way or another.
Moose |
| Fox |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 13:12:14
Moose -- Do try Baseball's idea of a serious (aerobic) workout first thing in the morning. You would get the blood moving to all areas of your body - including the area of oxygen deficit. You would also be doing something contradictory to the idea that there may be a structural problem. During the time of exercising, it should be easier to ignore the pain. And if you want to throw in a little anger release activity, make your aerobic exercise hitting a heavy bag. Add the endorphin release into the equation, and you might end up kicking in your day so differently in the morning that it might defeat the conditioning. |
| Michele |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 11:34:13
I don't have much to add, all good comments and suggestions above. I was hoping relieving pain wouldn't take as long either, but for some, it just does.
Hang in there moose, and enjoy EVERY day, no matter how much pain TMS would like to throw your way.
I can relate with the sleeping thing though. I wake up stiff and with the most pain, probably because I hate sleeping with my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, but I can't stand to sleep with him. He's a big guy, hogs the covers, snores and breathes loud, and takes my pillow. Unfortunately, there is no other place in the house for me (or him) to sleep, so I do all sorts of "mental" things to get through the night. |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 11:06:37
quote:
For the three days that I was away, I didn't wake up with pain once
Moose...that's pretty signifigant.Are you married? Do you sleep with your wife/girlfriend?
I don't sleep with my wife...she makes me tense.I feel like if I roll over or get up to pee that I'm bugging her.Plus,I like to read myself to sleep and it bugs her,so I feel like a 'guest'.
The fact that it went away when you were at a hotel is HUGE...something,either in your house or in your day to day life might be bugging you on a profound level..
I remember my spiritual mentor listening to me read a bunch of journal stuff to him and all of a sudden saying "You and your girlfriend are going to break-up,but you aren't ready to face it"
I remember being shocked...How? why? what thge F????
She was miss perfect...scholarship student,activist,smart,pretty...why would I leave her?
I was getting along fine with her at the time,but there must have been something he saw that was INVISIBLE to me that was obviously irreparable.....
I was terrified,because he never threw out idle or useless comments.
None the less...2 years later,I left her.It became obvious to me....
...and I found a much more compatible person,my wife of 13 years.
whazzzzzzzzzzzzup???
peace
Baseball65 |
| Dave |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 10:13:41
quote:
Originally posted by moose1
The fact that you were able to gain control of your eventually is good to hear.
I don't think this is a good way of putting it.
One of the traits of TMS-prone people is a need to control their lives. Well, TMS pain is something you can't control.
Rather than "control" think "acceptance." ACCEPT the pain. Treat it as a benign signal that there are some emotions beneath the surface that you are not fully experiencing. Try your best to figure out what those emotions are. Focus your energy there, rather than on frustration about the symptoms.
If your goal is to gain full control over the pain, you will fail. TMS is an unconscious process and by nature we cannot control it. We can only recondition ourselves to lessen its affect on our lives. By doing that it will naturally fade over time.
ACCEPTANCE is an important step. By attempting to control the pain, you are actually allowing the pain to control you. |
| moose1 |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 09:46:16
"Unfortunately your defeatist attitude is contradictory to the TMS approach."
Dave, it's a fair point and I totally agree with you. I have this attitude because on days like this I actually do feel defeated by it. And I have tried very hard, as you mention. It just seems that after so much time of trying I wonder if I might be barking up the wrong tree. I've thought about thinking of the pain in a new, different way, although not sure what that might be. Perhaps instead of disdaining it, which I've been doing all along, maybe embracing and accepting it. I suppose I could try that.
The fact that you were able to gain control of your eventually is good to hear.
Moose |
| Dave |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 09:31:57
Unfortunately your defeatist attitude is contradictory to the TMS approach.
Statements like "I've tried ignorning it (sorry, but this just does not work)" and "Sarno simply doesn't work for this particular problem" can be self-fulfilling prophecies.
No doubt you have tried very hard and are frustrated with the lack of results. But you simply cannot wave the white flag, which is in effect what you are doing with this type of thinking.
I woke up with LBP every day of my life. I could not lean over the sink to brush my teeth without being aware of the pain. Every morning my first thought upon waking would be, "How bad is the pain today?" I was in the same place you were -- thinking it would never go away. But I stayed the course ... continued to ignore the pain as best as I could. I even laughed at the pain when I brushed my teeth. I learned to treat the pain with disdain ... I refused to take it seriously.
It has been years, and I cannot say that the pain has disappeared completely. There are some days I'm aware of it. But it is night and day from where I was back then. YEARS. That's what it might take. And you just need to stay the course and not allow the doubt to creep in. |
| moose1 |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 08:53:58
Mike and Baseball,
Yep, was diagnosed about three years ago by a TMS doctor. There's very little question in my mind that it is TMS, it's just that when I sleep I have no control whatsoever over it. I've done all the TMS work till I'm blue in the face. No luck.
I don't wanna get into what the two therapists said suffice it to say that they were well intentioned but just off the mark in my opinion.
If I druged up anymore anger from my past and present I'd be making it up. The truth that I don't have a whole lot to be angry about other than this pain. And honestly, talking about my sources of rage never made me feel much better. If anything, it only generated a whole new batch of negative feelings, if only temporarily.
And here's the thing. This pain never prevents me from doing anything at all. I'm about as physically active and in shape as a 37 year old guy can be, so there's no fear to get over in that area. Like a lot of TMSers, the pain is usually non-existant when I'm physically active.
This is conditioned pain, I know it is. I went to a conference about six months ago. For the three days that I was away, I didn't wake up with pain once. It's a tough one for sure. I'm just getting sick and tired of it.
Thanks again.
Moose |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 08:01:31
Hi Moose....
Well,now looking back at your insomnia post it's all a little clearer...you're like me...I never talk about something because I feel like it empowers it,but sometimes we get frustrated and snap!
It's hard to think of a helpful suggestion as it appears you've tried them all.Albert had this same sort of problem,and when we spoke I honestly told him,never having had it,I didn't know what to do. My pain was always least in the morning,worst at around dinner time,so I never had to deal with it when my mind was at it's lowest effectiveness(before sleep)
A couple of stabs: Have you tried a furious workout first thing in the morning? The pain is TMS's way of telling you you're injured,weak...perhaps a gnarly workout first thing might contradict it's implications
Tried screaming-talking to it? Early morning gestalt.....neighbors might not like you,but what the hell?
Whenever I hear of someone who has it in their sleep,or wakes up with it,I always wonder if there is something in their dreams that is so terrifying(to the unconscious) that it gives them TMS instead....like a converted nightmare.
What did the therapists say? what else could it possibly be?
peace
Baseball65 |
| MikeC |
Posted - 05/03/2005 : 07:45:56
Moose1,
Let's start from the beginning. Have you seen a TMS physician to be examined?
Mike C |
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