| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Carolyn |
Posted - 10/14/2014 : 22:46:38
My TMS journey continues and it gets stranger all the time so I am back to tell my tale to the only people on earth who have been there and will not (I hope) think I am crazy! And maybe someone can learn something from my experiences as well. So not really a question here-more of a vent.
My latest bout with TMS came a few months ago with pretty constant acid reflux. After battling it for a while, I came to the board and just posting about it often seems to be enough to convince my TMS that I am onto it and it quickly disappeared. So I am 100% convinced reflux CAN be TMS. I challenged it- I drank before bed, ate all the tomato sauce that I wanted to etc. and it was definitely gone. In it's place I had pretty awful anxiety. That's when I knew 200% that it had been TMS. That began a rapidly changing parade of symptoms that was actually very comical except that each symptom is very unpleasant while it is there. Some lasted for weeks, some days, some disappeared almost as soon as I recognized them.
To recount- Shortly after the anxiety settled in, I noticed a small purple swelling near my groin and I must have subconsciously decided it was the problem with my veins that began this whole TMS thing for me. I started obsessing about it and my pelvic pain was back. Chronic pelvic pain was my original symptom that I suffered with for years before I learned about TMS- it hadn't reared it's head for a very long time and just like that it was back. That one lasted for a few weeks even though I knew what it was. I know the bump was there before I saw it but the pain didn't start until I saw it. Meanwhile the bump disappeared- just a bruise I think- and suddenly my eyes were very dry and uncomfortable (also one I'd seen before)for a week or so. That was followed by neck pain and a severe headache for about a week, then weird tingling sensations in my feet and hands, then hot and cold flashes and bouts of sweating (finally some classic anxiety symptoms.) This was followed by waking in the middle of the night with very strange pulsating sensations in my brain which morphed into straight insomnia. Then I got a rash that lasted for a month. I went to the doctor and got cream for the rash and meds for sleeping and woke up a few mornings later with a back spasm- that I immediately stopped in it's tracks and it instantly became pain in the bottom of my foot (plantar fasciitis- like) that had me limping for two days. Then out of nowhere, and not after having eaten anything that could be considered a trigger, I woke up choking on stomach acid again. The thought passed fleetingly through my mind that I am surprised I've never had irritable bowel- and yup- up that night with stomach cramps. I remember thinking "I guess the mitral valve prolapse will be next" and of COURSE it was- I feel it as a buzzing in my chest that makes it hard to sleep on my left side. That's where I am now- just wondering what will be next and trying to stop those thoughts because it seems that as soon as I wonder- there it is.
It is so obvious that I KNOW what it is and I wouldn't believe it if it wasn't happening to me. I do see this in so many people I know, where it is just always something that is bothering them and it drifts from one thing to another and the first almost always disappears when the new one comes. But that is usually over months or years, I have mine changing so rapidly. My thoughts are literally being turned into physical symptoms overnight. I know it's supposed to be a good thing when you have TMS on the run. I'm not letting it settle in anywhere but I also don't seem to be able actually chase it on out. I really wish I knew what this is trying to distract me from and I suspect that journaling may be the answer to that but for some reason have been unable to get myself to sit down and delve in.
Fascinating and frustrating stuff- this TMS.
Carolyn |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| summabody |
Posted - 07/31/2015 : 19:23:59
becreck, you might find the Structured Educational Program helpful to follow, it gives you both information / articles and exercises to do daily (journaling)
http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program |
| becreck |
Posted - 07/29/2015 : 04:12:25
Carolyn,
Very taken by your story. I have read a few of your posts. I am a 20 year TMS sufferer. Started with back pain which resolved after much TMS work. Than ten years later, I developed the TMS equivalent of IC/vulvodynia after a "sexual encounter" (lets just leave it at that) exactly ten years later which I dealt with for about 4 years before it resolved.
Now almost ten years later after a D&C, all those symptoms came rushing back. The rub is that I actually contracted enterococcus faecalis but it was not cultured until a month after the procedure.
I have been on now three courses of antibiotics and this bugger (bacteria) is still trying to hang around. But the rub, is that I truly believe that I have given TMS permission to rear it's ugly head and now have the worst vulvo and vaginal pain than I have ever experienced. Even some of the very old back pain wants to emerge, but I am not having that!!
I have had to stay out of work, I am a drug rep and my job requires me to drive daily anywhere from 100-225 miles and that is just impossible due to the pain.
I am having a very difficult time trying to get past what is true pathology vs the TMS pain. TMS is very smart and clever and uses whatever it can to grab hold and hold tightly. I just wish I could go to a top of a mountain and scream my lungs out!
I can relate to your issue with your children. It was discovered by a TMS physician (was once in my area but now he has gone back to residency for psychiatry) that my back pain developed over my subconscious belief that I was a detached bad mother and my subconscious was trying to protect me from that pain.
I have no clue what is going on with the pelvic stuff, but I know I fit perfectly into all the personality characteristics described in Sarno's books.
I have not had much experience with journaling, as I mostly took the self talk path, but I am now exploring that. Any good advice on how to proceed. Any on-line links?
My very best to you and hope that by now your TMS has moved away.
|
| Jason |
Posted - 01/09/2015 : 14:43:47
I usually read instead of posting, but just wanted to say I can relate to a lot of the pelvic pain sufferers here as I've been struggling with all sorts of rectal pains shortly after a fall on my tailbone last summer. Exams and tests showed nothing, of course. And I've had a lot of the TMS equivalents in the past and fit the profile really well. I did go up to 2 weeks pain free at a time this past fall after accepting TMS, but I've flared up really bad over the last 2-3 weeks, so unfortunately its been nonstop again. So I just wanted to say reading this forum has been very helpful.
Also I have to thank alix (who I've spoken with privately) for reassuring me on the pudendal nerve stuff, which has been a big fear of mine. |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 11/30/2014 : 23:25:33
quote:
Originally posted by Mac1986
This is something I am trying to incorporate into pursuit of healing. I am having a very difficult time re experiencing emotions on a " visceral" level. I am able to put myself back in the situation that caused the emotion but as I try to feel the emotion it feels forced. Any tips on how I can be more successful in sitting with my emotions? Does it just take practice and repetition? Thanks
Mac- This is where inner child work is a real help. I recommend John Bradshaw's work. It is really powerful.
In general I had to tap into feelings where I had no conscious memory so this was a long process; however, my first significant felt repressed feeling was from a conscious memory of a traumatic event where I never had the corresponding emotion. I needed the help of another person to validate and provide non shaming support for the feeling to come. When it exploded into consciousness- heavy sadness- my symptom disappeared instantly like in Helen's case in the MBP. Unfortunately the next day all the symptoms came roaring back so I had much more work to do to get better but the example showed exactly why Bradshaw's work is so useful.
Perhaps this is somewhat different from what Alix does to sit with the emotions I don't know. |
| alix |
Posted - 11/30/2014 : 12:14:52
Mac1986, I started with really strong emotions. The kind of situation where your life was at risk. Things like a car accident or other traumatic events. |
| Mac1986 |
Posted - 11/30/2014 : 10:08:11
This is something I am trying to incorporate into pursuit of healing. I am having a very difficult time re experiencing emotions on a " visceral" level. I am able to put myself back in the situation that caused the emotion but as I try to feel the emotion it feels forced. Any tips on how I can be more successful in sitting with my emotions? Does it just take practice and repetition? Thanks |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 11/29/2014 : 21:02:08
quote:
Originally posted by marsha
All well and good Dave.
What happens when pain is severe and never stops.?
Even though you know it is benign and that you are physically well the severity of the pain interferes with every move you make.
Marsha
The way out of this is what Alix is talking about. I've had to follow the same approach. Think of the symptom as a sign that you need to feel, to regress into the feelings of a little child. It's hard to do this as an adult and even harder when you are older but it is not impossible. Starting the process of inner child work will get you there. I don't believe that you have
to live forever with this level of pain. Take advantage of any time where the pain is lessened to do the work and don't give up. You can get better. |
| alix |
Posted - 11/29/2014 : 20:22:13
shawn, I am sorry to hear that you are still struggling. My aha moment was when I discovered that re-experiencing strong emotions at a visceral level would temporarily lower the pain. I then understood exactly what Monte calls "sitting with emotions". I forgot Sarno and the TMS methodology. I did not read a single TMS book. I did not watch videos. I did not torture myself trying to figure out if pain is a distraction or something else. I did not try to convince myself that my pain is 100% TMS.
I simply concentrated on working with emotions. Old emotions. Childhood stuff. Current emotions. I was just consistent and the miracle happened. I became pain free without any TMS equivalent popping-up. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 11/29/2014 : 09:46:04
I hate to say it but someone has to. Sometimes, despite all of your efforts, the pain never goes away and you have to learn to live with it. |
| marsha |
Posted - 11/28/2014 : 13:41:48
All well and good Dave.
What happens when pain is severe and never stops.?
Even though you know it is benign and that you are physically well the severity of the pain interferes with every move you make.
Marsha |
| Dave |
Posted - 11/28/2014 : 11:02:48
quote:
Originally posted by alfaman147
It's bareable but just bloody annoying.
That's the idea. Accept this. Stop being impatient. Trust that the symptoms will fade on their own as long as you continue to ignore them and accept that they are benign. |
| alfaman147 |
Posted - 11/28/2014 : 06:24:14
So bored and fed up of this. Read schubiners book and felt great the next week or so and it always starts up again. It's bareable but just bloody annoying. Basically my brain won't forget the pain pathways to my ass and tailbone |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/27/2014 : 11:24:28
quote:
Originally posted by andy64tms
The mechanic heaved sickly as she got in the car pulled the choke out and daintily hung her hand bag on it!
A novel use for the choke button, I'll have to see if it will hold my tennis bag. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/24/2014 : 18:28:30
Hi Andy,
The spammers are getting sharper, plagiarizing legitimate posts to appear credible. Wouldn't want to be caught in Algiers with TMS on a dark and stormy night.
Restored a Morris Minor once and flipped it before it flipped itself, one of the scariest rides I've ever owned very briefly. The Mini-Cooper, Sir Alec's answer to the Suez oil crisis on the other hand was one of the best handling most fun rides I've ever had. I had a couple of Cooper "S"'s with the 1275 cc engines, one a RHD with a factory sunroof that was my daily driver in frisco for years, finally had to part with it when it was more rust then steel. I still have a soft-spot for it, therefore wanting to build or buy a Moke, the convertible mini. Would build it into a track car with a bored out 1275 and race suspension.
You can plagiarize my posts anytime, there's enough of them to go around, I was flattered the Algerian chose mine to span with.
Cheers,
tt/lsmft |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/24/2014 : 11:28:31
"I LOVE the Hillbilly!
Thanks
Edited by - jimmyjjohn on 08/13/2014 02:18:33"
**************************************************************
Looks like you love the TT too! You copied my post to Carolyn verbatim but deleted my name. Maybe some people have too much time on their hands and the plagerism laws in Algeria are on the loose side. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/24/2014 : 11:12:07
quote:
Originally posted by jimmyjjohn
Thanks for sharing Carolyn, with your TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN in your mindbody, it sounds like you are playing the TMS gremlin rather then it playing you. Your experience could make a good chapter in a TMS book, maybe you should write one or an article.
Maybe what the symptoms are distracting you from is doing what you want to be doing, instead of dealing with symptoms. What would you rather be doing in a positive, fun, rewarding vein? Maybe your sub-c doesn't think you deserve to be happy?--just guessing since I don't know you.
G'luck!
"Thanks for sharing Carolyn, with your TMS KNOWLEDGE PENICILLIN in your mindbody, it sounds like you are playing the TMS gremlin rather then it playing you. Your experience could make a good chapter in a TMS book, maybe you should write one or an article.
Maybe what the symptoms are distracting you from is doing what you want to be doing, instead of dealing with symptoms. What would you rather be doing in a positive, fun, rewarding vein? Maybe your sub-c doesn't think you deserve to be happy?--just guessing since I don't know you.
G'luck!
tt"
Well they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so thank you JJ from Algeria! I was reading your response and thought that sounds like really good TMS advice. Reading further I thought, that sounds like something I would say, and then saw my signature "G'luck!" sign-off and said, I did say that! My original response to the OP is above. Well thanks, maybe you were trying to quote me and something in Al Gore's Internet went awry, Algeria is a long ways away, hope you're doing well.
G'luck!
tt/lmft |
| alfaman147 |
Posted - 11/17/2014 : 15:10:52
Yes it's unlearn your pain. Thanks andy |
| andy64tms |
Posted - 11/17/2014 : 14:33:19
Hi Alfaman,
Forget the straining and paining your vehicle is having, it’s not harming her.
It is good to read the manual occasionally or even every day if needed. Is it Schubie’s “Unlearn your pain”?
Instead of “googling” perhaps this intro of him on utube,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9ZpGZ-7aCg
Or here are his 7 intro videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLtPiOVVJ-U&list=PL_7q3BuM1zHSQyLXdEKST20SaCyS7bZqv
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
| alfaman147 |
Posted - 11/17/2014 : 12:03:19
Haha andy. Yes it could be. I have always had this sort of feeling along with the anal and rectal ache but today was unbelievable. I was bent over fixing a car and straightened up and felt this mega pulling and pain in my lower back and sort of around the tailbone between it and the anal passage. Also my abdomen just feels strained as if I have pulled a muscle. If my muscles down there are tight anyway I suppose I may have strained myself somehow. Trouble is as soon as I felt it I was on Google looking to see what it is and if it is a tms symptom or if I have injured it somehow. Again I suppose this is just fueling the fire. And yes all of this happened today and what day is it?? Monday. Always a Monday lol. I have a major habit. I'm a pain junkie haha. Can it be that my brain is just programmed to feel this pain? I always worry I have something serious like cancer or some infection or something. But even as I type this I think how the F**k can it be? Iv had it for so long that surely I'd be dead by now. Anyway thanks guys. Gonna get the girlfriend to cook dinner while I go and read schubiner a bit more |
| andy64tms |
Posted - 11/17/2014 : 11:20:39
Hi Alfaman,
A new symptom perhaps? Maybe your TMS is on the move and it’s looking for a new home?
So your rear end is shaking and rattling, your tail pipe is farting and fluttering. Could it be the timing or a blocked fuel Injector? More likely it’s the ECU. I would hook up a code reader and scan the error messages. PSYCHOLOGICAL, not Mechanical.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
