| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| mala |
Posted - 09/15/2014 : 20:20:22
Just creating a new thread as the last one is looking a bit messy.Thank you all for your posts, good wishes & messages. Andy pls tell Sheila a big thank you from me for her input as well.
When I posted here it was with the sincere intention to ask ppl to 'choose their TMS battles wisely'- to make sure their condition(s) did not get worse or even become life threatening. This was not to scare anyone rather it came out of my own personal experience.
This forum serves a great purpose in bringing about awareness of certain mind body conditions but I'm not sure everything is TMS & until I do know for sure what is or isn't I am the only one who can take responsibilty for my health.
I have been able to some extent relieve neck & back pain thru mind body techniques which include reading books, meditation, ignoring the pain, understanding the idea of how we can change the way we think about pain etc. but the pain that was related to the operation I had was different. Perhaps my instincts already knew that or maybe I wanted it to be TMS . I don't know. I tried ignoring the pain but it didn't work. If I increased my activity the pain would increase dramatically.
I have had the fibroids for a lot time. A couple drs told me that fibroids should shrink after menopause but here I was 7 yrs post menopause with no sign of them shrinking & then 2 years ago the pain began. They could not however say that removing everything would sove the pain problem. Scans would only show at most 3 fibroids . In India drs will actually do a laproscopic examination & tell u what's wrong. Here in HK they would not do that saying that if they went in, they would do everything one time.
Until I went to see the most recent dr. He was able to reproduce the pain by pressing on my fibroid, the one that was very close to the cervix & also when he did an ultrasound it showed that that particular fibroid was 'vascular'. He did not like that.
He called me in 3 times to do the same test again to be sure it was indeed the problem & then I scheduled the op.
It was tough & the situation inside was horrific. There were 13 fibroids ranging fom 7cm to 2cm in size along with a bulky uterus. The cause of the pain, the fibroid from hell, had attached itself onto everything inside the pelvic cavity. I had what is called an abdominal subtotal hysterectomy & a huge 6 inch scar to show for it.
It is hard to diagnose pelvic pain in women especially. It could be so many things but that is one of the reasons we need to be vigilant without of course obsessing.
When I posted here recently I got a lot of support from a lot of my tms friends but was also told by some that my condition was TMS & that I probably created it. I was told to stop posting as I was scaring ppl away & that I was a TMS failure. There were personal attacks .That hurt! Ppl who say things like this need to back it up with a lot of sound evidence. To hear it from ppl who consider themselves experts but have no real authority on the subject is cruel & insensitive.
Open discusssion is just that. We may or may not agree on certain aspects & nothing is either black or white at this stage when it comes to TMS but that does not mean we should not voice or opinions . We have a lot to learn from each other but we do need to be respectful of each other at the same time.
So here I have told my story, perhaps answered some questions you may have asked. I've been as open as i possibly can . If anyone needs more info feel free to either post here or message me privately on the tms wiki forum .
I wish you all the best & thank you for yr support.
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
| 18 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| balto |
Posted - 09/17/2014 : 16:28:33
The discussions in this topic is amazing. No wonder we are/was sick with tms/anxiety all the time. Our ego is so big, nothing is more important than the "self".
:) |
| Darko |
Posted - 09/17/2014 : 16:02:27
Ace your response was truly pathetic. Completely off topic and you're more interested in attacking me than looking at yourself or answering like an adult. When I first counted you had about 10 insults.....yet mine had none. You're all too eager to do exactly what you jumped up and down about.
Personally I don't mind the personal attacks and I'm not sure why everyone get so offended by it. I always laugh when I see them because it really just shows how mentally inferior a person is.
When someone is incapable of answering a post without being abusive or attacking that means you've beat them, their ego is challenged and they unable to to reply with rational debate.
It exposes people for who they are, it also shows that the way they process reality is very skewed as their main concern is to defend their belief system.
I have a family member that's like that, he's not open to anything and knows everything and will attack you the moment he's challenged.....he has no friends and his kids don't really like him....
Would you really want to engage and listen to people like that?
I have posted on an off for 8 years now, and there has always been a very small element of this on the forum.....I just avoid it. However I don't like bullying, and there is alot of it on this site these days. Bullies should be stood up to because inside every bully is a pathetic individual that will implode.
If people have opposing views and beliefs then they should be debated if you so choose. Why do some people think their perspective is the only correct one?
We're all grown ups now and people are free to say what they want, but you simple do exactly what you would in the real world. Ignore these people as clearly they have issues.
D
Andy....I did notice your humor :-) |
| andy64tms |
Posted - 09/17/2014 : 13:35:16
Hi Indiana,
please don’t leave. I feel the same way, but rationalize as to what is going on with the way I feel:
Firstly I do not want to get involved in any argument or heavy discussion, for you see argument remind me of the years and years I spent in fruitless arguments with a twin brother and past family and the possibility this contributed to my TMS in the first place!
Unfortunately with me it’s a little deeper than that, as the word “suppression” comes to mind. I find I am not able to post here for fear of upsetting someone else’s hard held views that are held with well meaning fervor, and then being lured into a hefty debate. I do not have the skill or knowledge, and the picture of me making a complete fool of myself comes to mind. I note with interest Dr Sarno’s definition states TMS is derived from the cause of suppressed emotions, and it’s strange for me that a TMS help forum would turn and be unhelpful to me in this way.
I was once encouraged by a very prominent poster not to post my views and get involved with a nasty thread. Unfortunately to my surprise they seem to do the exact opposite of what they said! Well meaning egos attract other well meaning egos and the definition of “personal attack” becomes diminished.
My injection of humor in Mala’s thread went completely overlooked, but I had a really good laugh to myself. It definitely avoided a “personal attack” or me receiving one. I am also becoming skilled at speed reading certain posters, so when a thread falls over the cliff of dissent, I just say Baa Baa, and think of lush grass.
So Indiana, find a way to stay with the forum and make it the great place you want it to be.
Thanks Dave.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
| Dave |
Posted - 09/17/2014 : 09:57:32
quote:
Originally posted by indiana
In my opinion when a person is attacking another person personally the
post should have been deleted.
I agree completely. I urge everyone to read the forum policy and adhere to it. While there are not many rules and I try to allow for free discussion, personal attacks are clearly a violation of the policy.
I have been out of town and not monitoring the forum for the past few days. If there are any posts in violation of the policy I urge the poster to edit them now. |
| indiana |
Posted - 09/17/2014 : 00:56:01
I think this forum was great once upon a time. I found a lot of help and gained insight into TMS just by reading posts from people who had recovered or were trying to. I have not come to this forum a lot lately because I think if you NEED "your daily dose" of forum you might be avoiding doing your TMS work. After the recent "discussion" I don't think I will be coming on this forum again.
In my opinion when a person is attacking another person personally the
post should have been deleted and the person asked to continue the attacks by personal message. There have been a lot of heated discussion on this forum (it makes it more interesting) where you could sense just how much these people disagreed but as far as I can remember there was never name calling. It does not matter how long a person has been contributing to this forum, how eloquent and intelligent she is, using words like arrogant, ignorant and drivel is crossing the line.
I am only talking about "expression" and not what was written about
(I even partly agree with her opinion).
We have to remember that we don't know the other person on this forum and have never met although some seem to have become almost like friends. When you come to this forum it is a FORUM and you should not get too personal. People who are coming here for help don't need posts where it is clear that the two people discussing almost hate each other. Personally I don't like it either when intimate details about family and illnesses are written about but that is I suppose a matter of opinion.
And that was just my opinion about this forum (for what it's worth). |
| EileenTM |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 23:52:03
You are lucky. I could not drive for 6 weeks!! |
| mala |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 22:12:10
Eileen,
Thank you for sharing your experience. Yes it was a difficult choice to make & after it was done I had my family & friends chiding me for not having it done earlier but I wanted to be sure that's why I emphasise the point that ultimately we are all responsible for own own health & the kind of choices we make about it.
3 months is exactly what my doctor told me a few days ago when I went for my 2 week follow up. I told him I couldn't believe how painful everything was & he said he understood completely after what they had to do. Ugh.
I can drive in a week so I am looking forward to that.
Regards
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
| EileenTM |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 21:58:40
I just wanted to add the experience I had similar to Mala's. I had a 6 pound benign ovarian cyst removed about 10 years ago. It had been the source of severe back pain as it had grown around several of my other organs and pressed on nerves. Once it was removed, the pain disappeared and has never returned. Sarno has always said that real physical illnesses must first be ruled out before considering a diagnosis of tms.
While I have had some other tms type symptoms, this was clearly something else.
Mala, I understand why you waited on the surgery. That type of surgery is quite major.
The good news is that you will heal well. It took about 3 months and then I felt great. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 21:09:02
Ace1, don't waste your time, it's too valuable. I shudder to think what would happen if Dr. Sarno himself ever visited here, he would likely be tarred, feathered and pilloried at a web site dedicated to him. It's been done to TMS authors like SteveO and Nicole Saks who had the temerity to announce their TMS books at a TMS site, they were blind sided and called all kinds of derogatory names like book peddlers. Let no good deed go un-punished. The record speaks for itself. |
| mala |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 16:50:49
Thank you Darko.
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 15:43:43
Funny darko you don't want to turn it to a rant, yet you turn it into one yourself. Your advice in the past,my friend, has been extremely contradictory. You come across yourself as cocky and as if you know what your doing then you come back saying something different later. Advising silly things like stretch take a break and stretch again. I find it funny that people yourself are hypocritical. I thought you just might have been a misdirected kind soul, so I didn't say anything because it was pretty obvious that what you were saying was silly, but I see now that your neither kind or properly directed.
I know this will continue to go back and forth so I will stop it here from my end. |
| Darko |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 15:30:45
Ace, at the risk of turning this post into another idiotic rant as they all seem to become I will say I find it interesting that you need to tell everyone what happened. If what you say is the truth then I think everyone here is smart enough to work it out.....we don't need your commentary......which feels like a scene out of Dumb and Dumber
Secondly, and I think there will be many that agree, I see it went down a little differently.
I saw that you all but directly asserted that Mala didn't get TMS and she screwed up....she then defended herself.
Perhaps instead of simply trying to point out how sh*t you think a person is you might like to take some responsibility and tread a little lighter instead of being so "authoritative"
In case you haven't worked it out, people don't like that kind of crap.
D
|
| Ace1 |
Posted - 09/16/2014 : 14:51:48
Thanks TT for recognizing that it was mala who first started the attacks to my disagreement to her post. Anyone is free to go back to the thread and confirm this.
Regardless I still wish her a speedy recovery.
As a side note, TT brings up on the previous thread that accidents are not really accidents and are part of the law of attraction. I don't think he was saying he necessarily believed that but that it might be a plausible theory on the far end of the spectrum of tms. I don't know if this theory is true or not but it was not wrong from him to bring this up. I also think its important to know the theory to keep an eye out to see if there is truth to it. |
| mala |
Posted - 09/15/2014 : 22:41:11
Alix no worries about derailing the thread. It happens.
Thank u for yr good wishes.
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
| alix |
Posted - 09/15/2014 : 22:34:38
Good post Mala. I wish you a prompt recovery.
Sorry for derailing your previous thread. |
| mala |
Posted - 09/15/2014 : 21:47:08
Dear RSR,
Thx so much for yr warm & good wishes.
I had my follow up to the surgery just yesterday after 2 weeks & the dr is happy with my progress. He says it will take a good 3 months till I feel I'm better, there was a lot if slicing & dicing ;) but i am glad I made the decision to go ahead with the op.
Hope things are well with you.
Regards
Mala
"It is more important to know what sort of person has a disease than to know
what sort of disease a person has." ~ Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.)
Mala Singh Barber on Facebook |
| RageSootheRatio |
Posted - 09/15/2014 : 21:39:38
Mala, I just want to say again how happy I am that you are feeling better now, without the terrible pain you had suffered with for so long! Thanks again for posting to let us know how things unfolded for you, and for reminding others how important it is that we are careful in our discernments and our choices about our own health and well-being. Wishing you the best and a complete recovery, which I hope is going well... with many happy days on the other side of all this for you!
~RSR |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 09/15/2014 : 20:56:18
Mala you started the name calling with "arrogant" and "ignorant" to Ace1's learned response to your OP. Any disrespect comes out of your TMS mind. I don't mind you calling my response "drivel" since I'm only a tennis player, but once again you started the name calling and are now feigning innocence--I'm nominating you for the Internet Acting Academy Awards.
==================================================
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
Posted by Skizzik @ TMSHelp from comedian Maria Bamford:
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
"All my friends in Los Angeles are the sensitive type. They all have like all the diseases like Chronic Fatigue, Epstien Barr, Fibromyalgia. Like all the diseases where the only symptoms seem to be you had a really crappy childhood and at the prospect of full time work ya feel kinda achy and tired."
Posted by Skizzik @ TMSHelp from comedian Maria Bamford
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
=================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Dr. Sarno is now retired, if you call this number you will be referred to his associate Dr. Rashbaum.
"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
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