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 Anger about new pain

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Marlawantstohike Posted - 06/09/2014 : 10:57:49
Pain is in my shoulder now and because I have been fine for a long time I got sucked into thinking it was from leaning over at my desk.

A week later I got to thinking how did I feel when it happened? And realized I was stressed about the bills and nervous about starting my new job the following week.

As soon as I realized TMS had struck again, I got mad at myself for not remembering it and it and have been angry that my knowing it didn't make it go right away.

I don't know why but I am being very impatient with myself about it.

I got Stevens book the Great Pain Deception and working through it.

Where is this intense anger at expecting myself to be perfect on TMS coming from?

It's been a stressful year with my daughter going through a messy divorce and I just came back from visiting her so having new symptoms shouldn't be a total surprise.

I guess I just want easy...I want to say I let go of this anger. But it doesn't quite work like that.

As soon as I realized it was TMS again I stopped trying to baby myself and went back to hiking and all regular activity.
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Marlawantstohike Posted - 06/10/2014 : 13:15:14
Thanks Dave. I guess I am trying to work out the difference between experiencing my anger and forgiveness and letting go of past hurts which is hard.
Dave Posted - 06/09/2014 : 13:02:00
quote:
Originally posted by Marlawantstohike
Where is this intense anger at expecting myself to be perfect on TMS coming from?


Being a perfectionist is one of the hallmark traits of a personality prone to TMS. It is only natural that one would also be a perfectionist when treating TMS, and get frustrated when results do not come as quickly or thoroughly as you might expect.

Conscious anger can also be a smokescreen for more complex emotions that are being repressed. Try to think about what they might be.

I do not believe you can "let go" of the anger. In fact, it might be counterproductive. You should not try to sensor your emotions, whatever they might be. You should experience them to the fullest extent possible. If that means punching a pillow or yelling at the top of your lungs, so be it. Then when you are finished feeling and expressing those emotions, you can think about what the underlying trigger might have been.

In any case, you did exactly the right thing by realizing that it was TMS at work, and resuming physical activity. If you do this repeatedly it will slowly sink into your unconscious. You are reconditioning yourself to think and react differently to the symptoms. Accept that this is a process that takes time and discipline. The symptoms will fade on their own as long as you take a long-term view and continue to recondition yourself.

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