| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| abundance72 |
Posted - 03/26/2014 : 15:23:53
I was searching through the boards and found this really great post from 'Sarita' that dates back to 2009. I find it really helpful so I thought I would re-post to share:
this is something some guy wrote, i think he is brilliant. its long...i read it and was helped.
it will make you think.
KEEP UP THE OPTIMISM
Your past will always be with you. I myself had a very traumatic childhood. Most all of my therapists I've ever seen agree that I had one of the worst they've heard. But I visited the demons only enough to acknowledge how I really felt about it, and then moved on.
But from what I have seen, reliving negative experiences is not the solution. People who even suffer PTSD, (like I did when I was a child)will nopt ease it by 'talking it out'. The perceptions that the said 'trauma' caused to go off base, are the things that need to be changed.
Trauma changes people by altering their response to the world and their response to their own thoughts. It's my opinion that once you acknowledge the anger you feel about a past traumatic event or 'bad childhood' you NEED TO get busy on changing the cognitive patterns that you have NOW, in the PRESENT.
The 'inner child' stuff is played way too much. The emphasis on this part of the Ego is overblown. To revisit it in journaling over and over and over again , to the point where you relive it everyday...does what?
We all feel the way we do mostly because of the NOW. This is not a mimic of an Eckhart Tolle type mantra, this is just logic. You only have the 'now' to deal with your thoughts and how they effect you.
I could have seen someone I loved killed in front of me as a child. And hell yes that's going to affect me as a child for years to come. But after I revisit that memory in some therapy session, and acknowledge what it did to me, then what?
YOur past needs to be put in it's proper box. If someone did you wrong as a child, you need to eventually accept that bad things happen to children or young adults, and that no fault of it was yours. There eventually needs to be a place where it does not define you.
Yes, you can heal from TMS without journaling about your past. TMS is seeded much more in the 'NOW' than we are taught to believe, IMO.
TMS gains most of it's power from our daily responses to it, than any ruminating of past events could ever do. You could have a great childhood, great past life where nothing bad ever happened, and have full blown TMS....doesn't that make you wonder?
From what I have seen, TMS is a
1) conditioned way of seeing pain, as a response to avoid present or near present perceptions, fears, angers, stresses, and anxieties about life.
2) Given power by making it part of your identity.
3) Can easily go from a 10 in intensity to a 0, with just one 'aha' moment.
4) Thrives on 'what if' thinking. Examples:
a)"What does this mean, this new pain".
b)"Will I be like this forever?"
c)"What if I get a flare up if I am out in public or at work or the movie theater,etc"
d)"What if I don't beat this now, does this mean I really have something structural?"
e) "What if I won't be able to provide for my family"
5)Thrives on the ANXIETY caused by rehashing past regrets, seeing your life in a "I should have been this person" lens, or believing you 'should be' somewhere.
a) I should be pain free by now
b) I should be able to run a mile
c) I should be healed like so and so is.
d) I should be a Millionaire right now if it weren't for TMS getting in the way.(ahhh gave it power?)
e) If it weren't for TMS, I would be able to be such and such and so forth.
6) Loves when you berate yourself.
7) Loves when you attain self hatred or any negative self view.
8) Loves when you fight it and say things like "Get out of my body you %#$^! I will Bleep you you bleepin son of a bleep I'm so sick of you you bleepsucking motherbleeper(you get the picture)
9)TMS ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVES you to distract yourself with the subject of........TMS. It loves to be talked about on forums and boards. It has a life after all.
10) LOOOOOOOVES for you to mentally 'scan' your body to see "where the pain is now, is it moving? Is it, is it, is this good uhhh oh no it's in my foot, ahaaaa now it's in my back,.....ahhh it just moved to my ears...ahhhh.What does this mean? Why me, whyyyy, what's going on panic panic"
All this while you are talking to someone on the phone! :/
11)Loves for you to think you are ACTUALLY sick.
12)HATES when you are present and conscious of what's happening now. It loves when you worry about tomorrow. It cannot allow you to enjoy a moment, or be thankful for even the smallest joy.
13) Thrives off of thinking that "life sucks and this existence sucks"
14)TMS Luuuuhhhuuuhhhhhuuuuvz when you fight it. It wants a boxing match with you. That way, you don't have to face the world "outside". It's like a woodpecker on your shoulder that keeps you safe from feeling anything bad. Problem is, it just replaces all those bad feelings you might have about the world, with pain and bad feelings about being in pain. What a ****ing opportunistic asshole TMS is. But he/she thinks she's doing you a favor.
15)TMS wants you to get mad at it. It likes when you think you have control. But try releasing all control one day. Try actually laughing at it and doing exactly what YOU want to, without regard to it. Watch it go into a panic, it's hilarious.
16)TMS loves when you think you can 'outsmart' it. It loves when people think they can beat it if they just 'dig enough' in their little journals. As if talking about a life event for the millionth time will one day 'jolt' TMS. "You'll show TMS this time kid"(shakes fist in the air). What a joke, definition of insanity.
17) TMS loves when you are predictable and try to counter it with 'methods' and 'approaches'. It hates when you just give up and stop fighting. TMS after all, needs drama and action, lights, camera. Anything to be alive.
In closing. TMS is a ghost that thrives off of having it's own life and keeping you out of the PRESENT. It does NOT want you to FEEL. It wants you to THINK. Stop thinking. 95% of the thoughts that are running through your conscious mind are COMPLETE GARBAGE.
But there is a catch and a surprise too. This will blow your mind, as it has me.
While my TMS is 99% gone, my thinking is still mostly the same in everyday life. I really haven't changed my views of much. I really am not a 'better person".
The key is my view of TMS, that changed dramatically.You don't have to change the way you even view life, that may just be a side effect.
When you change the way you see the pain, what the pain means to your ego, what the pain means to your supposed 'future', what the pain is, what the pain can teach you, you will beat it.
TMS has nowhere to run once you realize it's fake. It's a symptom that thrives in distraction and thrives in the fact that it has GOT YOUR ATTENTION.
Want to see TMS get scared as hell?
Imagine yourself having it for the rest of your life (worst case scenario). Sit there and meditate on it. Imagine your life and all those years passing by with chronic pain.
After that, make a deal with TMS. Say "If this is what you want, so be it". And then go outside and accept the fact that you were promised nothing....and live your life. With the total acceptance that life is what happens and you will do what YOU can, while this event has other plans. Accept that TMS is with you and in you. Thank TMS for showing you that you needed to change. Be aware of every moment you don't feel pain(these moments will turn into days).
Accept and move forward.And you will see how truly small TMS is. You will wake up and understand that the battle is won when you stop fighting.
1)Scaring TMS actually(from my experience) causes it to stop, in a smoother way. Have you ever done journaling to the point that the pain 'moves' around like some of the TMS books say it will? That 'moving' is not the key. The moving just means you hit something and TMS got uncomfortable, so it's finding another place to go.
From my experience, this isn't the end of TMS. When TMS is truly 'scared' it leaves. You can sense it getting bored and you wake up one day and you notice no stiffness, no tightness, no needle sensations, etc.
It's way different than the "oh it's moving now so that means it's going away".
2)I don't think you have to have 'faith' that letting go will cure TMS, in order for it to work. For me it was just an "aha" moment. "Letting go" and accepting actually breaks the TMS cycle. It has no power anymore, and TMS thrives on your constant worry. It always wants to be an issue. If you truly can learn to let go of the "what ifs' that TMS causes to ruminate in your head all day, then TMS loses it's power.
After a while , it's just lets go itself.
If you can't imagine what letting go and accepting feels like, I can't really demonstrate it or describe it.
I think it has to be a personal experience that someone has.
I also think I was motivated to let go because nothing was working. The usual journaling and constant talking about TMS wasn't doing it for me. So I gave up out of total exhaustion. And it was at that point that someone posed the question to me "Who told you that you were promised anything in life?"
The most profound yet simple question I've ever been asked. It hit my EGO, the part of me that saw myself as being something I obviously wasn't, a sufferer of TMS.
You need to accept TMS and that you have it before you can deal with it. If you are constantly fighting TMS on a minute by minute basis, you are already saying to yourself that you would rather be SOMEONE ELSE and SOMEWHERE ELSE, rather than be HERE.
How can you start to tackle life's problems if you are not HERE, and not accepting of what is happening NOW? You might as well be dead. If you are wishing your whole life to be this 'other person' you feel you deserve to be, you might very well suffer with TMS forever.
Many of us gladly accept that we SUFFER from TMS , but we don't really ACCEPT that we HAVE TMS.(read what I said again...repeat)
Many of us gladly accept that we SUFFER from TMS , but we don't really ACCEPT that we HAVE TMS.
Many of us gladly accept that we SUFFER from TMS , but we don't really ACCEPT that we HAVE TMS.
This is a big step.
3) No. LOOKING for the pain free moments can get you into trouble. Making a mental note of the pain free moments reinforces that faith that TMS is a mental state dependent syndrome and not structural. It also reminds the brain that it can attain a normal state of being. A "theres more where this came from" reminder. The brain also knows that once something is achieved on a small scale, it can be achieved as a whole.
The idea is not to become OBSESSED with pain free moments. Just be aware of them and move on. TMS has it's best successes when you acknowledge>>>>>>>>>>>>>appreciate>>>>>>>>>then move on.
Appreciation is different than fixation. If you find yourself fixated with TMS symptoms, you are already losing. What if you put yourself in a state of mind where you woke up everyday saying, " Okay TMS,I KNOW that today you are going to give me pain. There is nothing I can really 'do' to make you go away for now. So whatever new pains you bring me is totally expected. Nothing is really new with you. So do your best, but in the meantime I'm going to go (fill in the blank)"
Do you think with this new outlook that TMS will have more power or less? I'm not saying that TMS won't try real hard to get your attention by kicking and screaming. I'm talking about POWER here.
If TMS knows that it's M.O. is expected and predictable...how would any new symptoms 'scare' you or make you think 'uh oh ' anymore?
4) Thank TMS for making you aware that your way of life, thinking, perceptions, rationale, fears, levels of anxiety....are not in line or consistent with a 'healthy' person.
We have TMS for a reason. I'm not saying we are crazy or outcasts. But we are not, as a whole, 'WELL' people. If we were, we would not be here. Now who is 'well' and balanced? Not many people in Western society. We are sick because we are products of a very repressed, while at the same time , EGOCENTRIC culture.
Take a room full of a group who is spiritually calm and appreciative of life., say 50 people.
Buddhist monks, Hippies, Agrarians, Yoga instructors....whatever example you can think of.
Put them in a room with 50 TMS sufferers from this forum. You think you could spot the difference and be able to tell who's Autonomic Nervous System has the highest probability of malfunctioning?
Uhhhh, yeah. It would be us.
So TMS is the bodies way of showing you.
"Hey, we really can't live like this anymore, because now you're forcing me to starve oxygen and cause pain. If you don't change, I keep doing this. I don't know how else to warn you aside from giving you Cancer or a Heart Attack."
Thank TMS in as much as TMS is giving you the chance to start over life with a new view.
I am very angry of what TMS caused me, and by no means am I thankful for having TMS in that sense. We all know we would rather be symptom free and never have to deal with any of this to begin with.
But that goes back to LIFE NEVER EVER EVER PROMISED YOU ****!!!!
ACCEPTANCE of what is, not what you thought is SUPPOSED to be. Kids die daily from bone cancer and Lukemia.
We have TMS. Nobody promised you anything. This is the hardest lesson of TMS because it shows that life is completely out of your control.
And that is one of the biggest fears of a TMS sufferer.
Is what I'm saying making sense? I hope, because that is the best I can explain it.From my experience, you don't have to 'believe ' in TMS for TMS theories to work. The best process is DEDUCTIVE REASONING.
"Belief" is a cult aspect of TMS authors. Cult aspects cause pressure to conform. Dr. Sarno's reasoning on this is flawed when he said "One MUST refute the physical in order to get better"(paraphrasing).
That is a collectivist ideal and adds pressure to be like 'the other kids".
Simple deductive logic can address it better. It's easier to prove TMS by looking at what it is NOT.
"Do I have any pain free moments?" Evidence of it NOT being physical.
"What are these moments?" Evidence that there is a feeling or mental state that correlates to pain free moments.
"Does my pain go away when I sleep, and start all over once my mind kicks in when I wake up?" Evidence of non physical cause
"When I am busy or active, does my pain seem to be LESS noticeable?"
Evidence of psychogenic origin, since 'real' injuries do not act this way.
Why rely on faith or belief, when you could use evidence?
In the end, I suggest that being diagnosed with TMS is the first step, after all other tests prove negative.
It's silly to expect someone with physical pain not to think it's physical in cause and nature. But once the pain goes, you KNOW it was TMS all along. That's one of the benefits of being pain free and beating TMS. It gives you ridiculous hindsight.Debs,
Your post sounds like you already had an "aha" moment right there.
Armchair described it perfectly. You are seeing what TMS does and is.
I was watching Eckhart Tolle speak about the intention of being a 'better person', and how it rarely works if it is something you actively try to change. True change comes about just by being aware of what is wrong in your thought process.
I find this is true. Just by being aware that TMS is on your mind all day, your mind now knows and this awareness will change it by itself, IMO.
TMS is on the mind of many people with the chronic form. So is it the constant thinking of TMS which gives it th fuel to keep going, or is it the constant pain that makes you think about it all day?
Chicken or the egg. I think it's both. But the one which you have control over to stop the cycle, is your part(the thought process).
We think about TMS all day because we want to control it. We think that if we think about it, it equates to ACTION. Thoughts are not action. Thoughts are garbage. TMS likes garbage.
I would seriously advise you to seek therapy for your TMS. You are a severe TMS sufferer like I was. Along with the 'self hatred' issues and low self esteem, you should talk to someone who is trained in what this all means.
At this point, I'm convinced you fit the severe TMS model.
Read your OWN posts over and over. Does this sound like someone who would have a smooth running Autonomic Nervous System? Does your bodily pain match your thought process? Yes it does.
Could a calm Nervous System exist in someone like yourself, as you are in life right now? I highly doubt it.
If I berated you all day, like you do yourself, how would your chemistry and subconscious react to me if I screamed obscenities at you all day and told you 24/7 how worthless you are?
Because that is what is going on in your own brain.
Trust me, I know 'self hatred'. I mastered the game to the point where I also hated everyone else on the planet and every morning I woke up I LITERALLY stuck my middle finger to the sky and said "Go **** yourself God", and I meant it.I was suicidal and borderline homicidal in my worst TMS days. WHat I really hated was my EGO, I now know that.
The EGO can be dangerous. I feel that it is responsible for most wars and crime in the world. TMS is just a symptom of the Ego run rampant in the negative. I believe TMS sufferers are ALL guilty of this. Even the 'people pleaser' types.
But I digress. Try and find a therapist who is versed in Mind/ Body syndromes. Writing your concerns on a forum can only do so much.
Good Luck.
.
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Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health
Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul
My body heals quickly and easily
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| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 04/09/2014 : 07:28:32
Hi Stayfit, bummer on losing your job, what kind of work was it if I may ask? You may want to check out the "SUPPORT FORUM" over at the TMS WIKI, there's some kind folks over there.
G'luck!
tt
==================================================
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod
=================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Dr. Sarno is now retired, if you call this number you will be referred to his associate Dr. Rashbaum.
"...there are so many things little and big that are tms, I wouldn't have time to write about all of them": Told to icelikeaninja by Dr. Sarno
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
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| stayfit65 |
Posted - 04/08/2014 : 17:26:41
I really needed this post...I was recently forced to resign from my job and since then I've been feeling pretty lousy about myself, making statements like "where did I mess up?" And "I will never get another job!" Anybody out there that can relate? I am really needing encouragement. My TMS has been hanging around for 3 years. I think it contributed to my job loss because I was in pain so much while trying to work for an unsympathetic boss. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 04/03/2014 : 08:43:38
Y'welcome, Abundance, good find! There's some TMS gold in the archives. NJOY's posting it over at the TMS WIKI has been a lively thread too. La_Kevin mentioned he was going to write a TMS book. I'll try to PM him and let him know his wise words have been resurrected.
Abonddonza mate,
tt |
| abundance72 |
Posted - 04/03/2014 : 00:06:23
Thanks TT, good detective work! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health
Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul
My body heals quickly and easily
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 04/02/2014 : 08:13:54
I've found the mystery of who wrote the posts originally, it was "la kevin", a writer/musician. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 04/02/2014 : 08:02:05
quote:
Originally posted by eric watson
...Most don't even know they have tms and then they aren't going to even give the idea of tms a shot much less act as if they have no pain when they are hurting all over.
...Tms healing has been a self help therapy for a while, thats what self help is, believing in self.
Excellent points!
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| eric watson |
Posted - 04/01/2014 : 12:40:52
I agree with the post about doing all the steps can heal you for sure but the part where you don't have to have faith and belief is almost impossible to believe that you don't have to believe if you want to heal.
Most don't even know they have tms and then they aren't going to even give the idea of tms a shot much less act as if they have no pain when they are hurting all over.
Folks have to trained. Other wise how would they know to heal. Tms healing has been a self help therapy for a while, thats what self help is, believing in self.
I call the method above the ignore method. Oh wait was I not supposed to label this program? Just kidding on my part, this is an excellent post. Other than saying all the Authors are not right and saying you dont have to believe. I think you did an excellent job.
Just because you ignore it doesn't mean that's it, no there's lots more to know as you mentioned a good bit above.
I'm so glad your doing better though.
Thanks
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 03/30/2014 : 23:42:53
Thanks for trying. |
| abundance72 |
Posted - 03/30/2014 : 18:51:13
quote:
Originally posted by tennis tom
Great post, anyway of finding out who originally wrote it.
TT I've tried to find out but I can't seem to find anything?? It's a good post though :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health
Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul
My body heals quickly and easily
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 03/30/2014 : 08:46:36
Great post, anyway of finding out who originally wrote it. |
| abundance72 |
Posted - 03/29/2014 : 22:11:48
Njoy I totally agree it's great! Good idea, thanks :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health
Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul
My body heals quickly and easily
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| njoy |
Posted - 03/29/2014 : 19:21:00
What an amazing post! And thanks for bringing it back for us. I'm going to post a link on tmswiki.org |
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