| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Lily Rose |
Posted - 10/31/2013 : 09:19:59
This is going to be a long, first post to get it all out of the way. Going to just plunge off the cliff and see what happens …
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Two weeks ago, a thread of a thread of a thread led me to TMS. I have been mulling on it, reading the forums, and expanding the net of my research.
I have been in actual physical pain since I was 12 years old. I will never forget the shift inside me, the beginning of the true fall into darkness. Prior to that moment, I had already curled into myself.
At age 3, there was a gun battle in our home involving a death. My mom had shoved me under the bed, and my baby brother remained in his bassinet.
Somewhere in here is a memory of taking a nap under the care of a grandmother-figure, and being awoken to attack by a belt across my face and upper body … she believed I was ‘pretending’ to be asleep.
At age 5, we moved, leaving behind my biological father and embracing my heart-soul-real Dad (my brother and I adored him and continue to do so). Lived briefly with very-scary maternal grandmother.
At age 8, a step-uncle had used me and my cousin for his pleasures.
At age 11, my brother was kidnapped by my biological father and I began 6th grade in a new school without him. Three months later he returned. My beloved Dad went through life-threatening surgery.
At age 12, divorce proceedings and my beloved Dad ended his life.
My mother had a new boyfriend who had an 18 year old son .. he liked 12 year olds. Three quarters through 7th grade, we moved deep into the country where my brother and I were left alone with the gross boyfriend, his son and son’s friend. My mom worked 14 hour days trying to keep us afloat. The man slaughtered the show bunnies my brother and I were raising and served them up for dinner. He caused our family dog to be executed. He gave me a young horse to train, then one day that horse was gone. My mom one quiet evening asked if I was doing drugs because I was so withdrawn. The hurt of that question seared. Sleep was my only escape. I slept often. Until the morning she asked me why I hadn’t woken up when she was screaming for help. Bruising around her neck showed what the man had done.
That was the day I fractured … I have never again slept fully, or unaided.
A few weeks after (I had turned 13), my mom came home and said pack whatever we could fit in the car, everything else was left behind. She put us back in the care of her sister for about 4 months (my girl-cousins had responded to the prior sexual abuse by turning to drugs and sexual activity, so their company was alarming and stressful to me), then came for us and took us to a new home, where she introduced us to our future step-dad.
At age 14, my little brother had his skull crushed in by a kick from a horse. His life was saved by brilliant surgery. At the same time my biological father began an assault for visitation rights. And our step-father revealed his true nature of alcoholism-gone-violent.
At age 15, we moved (continual court battles w/biological father).
At age 16, we moved (continual court battles w/biological father).
(total moves: 3 elementary schools, 4 junior highs, 3 high schools)
At age 17, graduating early, with honors, the battle with biological father continued. My brother had been sent away to a private school to ‘save his life’ from step-father (physically abusive), leaving me alone with this monster. The step-father engaged in a year-plus campaign to convince me that I should end my life, that it would relieve my mother of the burden of caring for me, and if I really loved her, I would do it, but obviously I was too much of a coward, etc etc etc. I developed an eating disorder (bulimia), which started as a way to purge what he made me eat. I didn’t like meat, but his rages were so violent if I didn’t participate in meals, I had to eat what he said. Later I purged it from my body. I ate more, privately, and gained weight to discourage his other attentions.
Then the legal assault .. my biological father was gaining ground, and was going to win visitation rights, and cause my brother to lose his place in his out-of-state school. My fears of my father gaining any rights to my brother had never left (the kidnapping). I blurted out that I would go with him if he left my brother alone (he was fighting back but was too young to be deemed able to make his own decision. The offer was accepted, and my brother was safe.
Since I had graduated early with honors, I was primed to start college, which I did in the care of my biological father and his wife. I was in a constant state of terror.
Nine and a half weeks later, my mom, accompanied by the police, got me safely out of the house. My memories shut down, and the state-appointed counselor who had advocated for family reconciliation, closed the case with the final recommendation that the ‘children have no further contact with biological father’. He also stated that I would likely never get my memoires back, and that it was probably for the best. Meanwhile, they discovered I had been drugged, and that was the cause of my crippling illnesses (fainting-throwing up-migraines, severe depression, stomach pains, body pains). Chronic nightmares began and didn’t leave for nearly 15 years. Only a few memories have returned of that time.
My stepfather was very, slyly happy to have my return.
The next blow took place within a few weeks .. a rape by a wealthy 21 year old who lived down the street (I found out later he had done the same with the girl next door).
I finally crossed into my 18th year. This was life. Pain was constant. Sleep deprivation was normal. Later came prescription meds and alcohol. And drugs to keep me awake as long as I could go (I hated sleep).
The following 21 years included a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis , a joint replacement in my foot due to a rare syndrome (the joint died from lack of oxygen), endless chiropractors (all saying I would never live a normal life), labels of major depressive disorder, mild-moderate OCD, social anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder (holidays are the most terrifying memories).
This brings me to age 39, where my internal life shifted. I had always believed I would not live much past 40.
Living in Alaska with my extremely tolerant and loving husband, I took stock. A yoga teacher came to the small town, and I signed up. At this time, I was borderline agoraphobic. Entering the small class, I was overweight, and afraid. Wearing my husbands old flannel jammie bottoms and a baggy shirt, I began.
Three months later, I was teaching. Six months following that, my apprenticeship ended with certification (she only took three students), and I had lost twenty pounds.
Now I am 49, and I’ve lost a total of 60 pounds. Two and a half years ago, I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Raynauds and GERDS are companions to that label. The diagnosis was a relief, but it was also crushing. I was told it could not be cured and that I would always need meds to cope with it. In truth, the meds (gabapentin and two vicodin/perday) have significantly improved my ability to sleep.
Yoga helps tremendously, and it flung open the door on my self worth. I believe completely that I have value to the world. It eases the pain for long periods of time. It just didn’t stop it from coming back.
The meds don’t stop it, either, but it makes it very much more tolerable, and the sleep …. OH the blissful feeling of real sleep.
Still .. I just couldn’t accept that this was it .. a life of prescription meds, dependent forever. Really?
Now I learn of TMS. Of MBS. Mind body … of course. It fits right in with my beliefs. And the personality types … I am a mix of them. Again, a fit.
All the mentioned traumas .. what I remember is mostly those pieces. The bulk of my memories are dimmed or gone (in hiding?). Sometimes, on especially good days, a soft memory sometimes drifts in.
TMS .. oh yes. I have not read any books yet, only followed this forum. Just this alone has made a difference. My sleep has improved (lengthened). The usual 6 hours has drifted into 7 hours. It has affected my thoughts. Strengthened the positive.
Most of all … the very-very-mostest-of-all … it has given me hope.
Thank you.
All of you.
My heart swells with the thought of the dove
caught and mangled; so severely burnt and wrought.
Like a Phoenix of its ashes, the little dove,
so bold yet humble, rises up in fantastic fashion.
(The Dove - by Jeremy P. Magee)
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| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 11/15/2013 : 16:16:33
Lilly Rose, I just read your post. I don't know how you managed as well as you have with the extremely difficult childhood you had. You should be proud of yourself that you made it into adulthood without getting into serious trouble with the law, drugs, health, etc. I am speechless. I am so happy that you were able to open up and share. It is so important to reach out to others with similar issues.I sincerely hope this really helped you to put things into perspective. You richly deserve to have a very happy adulthood and you can do it. |
| Lily Rose |
Posted - 11/09/2013 : 13:29:28
Balto - it is so wonderful to hear of someone who succeeded. It gives hope, and the oh-so-necessary proof that all things are possible.
The advice about thinking in the NOW is also very appropriate. This particular exercise takes practice, practice, practice. I cannot try this for a month .. not in the beginning. I must try it in moments, in order to build upon that practice. In pieces, I construct my practice. It builds successes, and becomes more natural to do as the habit becomes more ingrained. For me, at this time, a month is too much ... like asking a 2nd grade child to do 10th grade math. First I must build my foundations. A month, however, sounds like a lovely goal, and one that is at my horizon. In time ... in time.
Everyone moves at different speeds. And every learns in different ways. If someone hands you a photo, and some paint brushes and paint and canvas, then instructs you to paint the photo since you now have everything you 'need' ... for some, it will work well. For others, the idea is nice, but what comes out on the canvas is ... eh, something a little less artistic.
As human beings, I consider us all 'works of art in progress'. We can reinvent ourselves every day. We CAN choose how to respond to our moods. It just takes practice. And more importantly, patience with yourself. Don't get angry when you don't live up to your goals. You just try again next time.
Life is short. I am deciding to spend unrecoverable time at this forum, because this forum is extremely valuable. It is Time well spent.
Catmac - wise? Maybe just very focused and determined. But thank you ^_^
My heart swells with the thought of the dove
caught and mangled; so severely burnt and wrought.
Like a Phoenix of its ashes, the little dove,
so bold yet humble, rises up in fantastic fashion.
(The Dove - by Jeremy P. Magee)
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| catmac |
Posted - 11/09/2013 : 09:44:39
quote:
Originally posted by Peregrinus
[quote]Originally posted by catmac
I too was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 3 years ago and I am now virtually pain free
Catmac:
I've never heard of someone beating fibro myalgia! How did you do it? Are you still suffering from TMS? Several friends (claim to) have FM and they all seem to resist any suggestion that their pain is psychogenic. I'd like to be able to tell them about some positive results. By the way, in your opinion what is FM?
Peregrinus/cath
I agree with Balto that Fibromyalgia is in fact Tms. Dr Sarno also mentions this in his books.
In my opinion fibromyalgia is a diagnosis the doctors give you when they cant find anything else wrong with you!!! I'm being glib but I had excruciating muscular/nerve pain all over my body and a host of other symptoms too that changed continually. I'm happy to send you an e mail about what worked for me if you message me. (I wont have access to my e mails for a few weeks but will get back to you as soon as I can)
Lily Rose - you sound so full of wisdom. I really think the person to help you further on your journey is Steve Ozanich.
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| balto |
Posted - 11/09/2013 : 08:54:30
I truly believe FM is tms, is mind body ill. I was diagnosed with it and overcame it along with all of my million other symptoms using what Sarno and Clair Weekes taught.
Lily Rose, it was terrible what happened to you in the past. But I think you need to move on with your yet to come beautiful and bright future. Don't let the past harm you any longer. It can not hurt you if you don't allow it. Don't be a victim, Don't allow it to consume your thought. Totally focus on the NOW, focus on the positive that is happening NOW. We're were all victims in big or small way in our past, the moment you stop allowing your thought of the past to continue to victimize you is the moment you start to heal. Holocaust victims died young when their mind got stuck in the past. The killing field victims in Cambodia died young when they can stop re-live their horrors. When they stopped mourning, when they stopped focusing on the horror of their past, they move on and live a normal and happy life, many became very successful. We can all learn from those people.
What happened to you is horrible, but your past is in the past, it no longer has any control over you, unless you allow it.
Don't fear anything for a month and see what happen to you.
------------------------
No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| Cath |
Posted - 11/09/2013 : 05:11:09
Thank you Lily Rose for a great post. I do have coping mechanisms, and am starting to recognise when I need to soothe, rather than just pushing on regardless. Sometimes, just the act of soothing makes me feel guilty, because it feels "selfish", but I'm learning to deal with that too.
I do know people who have recovered from fibro, so I know this is possible, despite what my MD tells me. I will keep trying, and because of this forum, and the TMS books I have read, I have had improvement, particularly with regard to my mood and outlook.
I am taking my meds because they are helping me now, and when the time is right again, I will step them down.
Self worth is SO important, and I have been searching for something to help me regain mine. I think I may have found it, but it's early days yet. I have often become excited about certain projects or activities, only to reject them within a few weeks, or months. I know I still have a lot of studying to do, but will keep persevering.
Thank you for your book suggestions. I will definitely add them to my list of reading.
Cath x |
| Lily Rose |
Posted - 11/08/2013 : 21:56:50
Cath ... I am very new to the TMS community, but I am fully aware of the mind-body connection.
I am also aware that we cannot take away something without replacing 'it' with something else, whatever 'it' may be. Nature abhors a vacuum.
We cannot take away our quality of life, and the meds that help with that, until we can replace that coming void with our own power. Thus, we do not come off the meds until our inner power is ready.
Fear must be addressed, and our resources shored up. We will need a LOT of new resources, inner and outer. Essentially, it is about creating a new tool box that is about healing. I have an overflowing Coping Toolbox. Now I am working on my Healing Toolbox.
When I have sufficient tools, I will make my first move. I may fail, but that is okay. Failure is part of the learning process.
We think failure is a bad word. It is a neutral word. We just make it sound like it is bad. Without failure, we cannot learn true success.
I liken it to the word Selfish. I am selfish, in that I take care with myself, in order to be more Self-LESS. I teach my yoga student this ... Selfish, so we can be more selfless. When you improve your quality of life, you have more energy to give to those who need you.
Slow cook. Simmer. Think. Mull. Gather strength. Deepen the belief. Explore the fears. Allow the fears rather than fighting them. Soothe and nurture yourself. Talk to yourself. Read the recommended books that those in this forum recommend. I would also add to that list. I find strength in Pema Chodron books. Also, the Toltec Wisdom: The Four Agreements. Finding quotes that ground you. Small sayings you can murmur to yourself when you get stressed.
Most of all -- say directly to yourself: I Believe In You.
I also say to you -- I believe in you.
^_^
My heart swells with the thought of the dove
caught and mangled; so severely burnt and wrought.
Like a Phoenix of its ashes, the little dove,
so bold yet humble, rises up in fantastic fashion.
(The Dove - by Jeremy P. Magee)
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| Cath |
Posted - 11/08/2013 : 08:24:24
Lily Rose - your post was humbling. I too have fibro, and have been taking gabapentin for 4 years now. My childhood was a fairly happy one, but I've had a few ups and downs in adulthood. I can't help but admire your strength of character.
I have had a conversation on this board before about the drug we're taking. Although it does help me, I have been advised by various people to come off it, and have been trying very hard to do just that for the last two years. I do have disturbed sleep patterns, but it's pain ultimately that holds me back from coming off it.
Catmac - I would also be greatful for any advice on how you conquered fibro, and also how you came off the gabapentin. |
| Lily Rose |
Posted - 11/08/2013 : 07:06:02
Catmac .... It is heartening to hear that your pain has eased up and your sleep is working without gabapentin. Now that I am sleeping, I am very clingy about keeping myself this way. It isn't just the sleep, it is the sharply diminished anxiety dreams/nightmares. In time, though, I expect this transition to occur. I am just in the new/baby steps with the TMS concept.
Yeah, slow cooker! ;)
^_^
My heart swells with the thought of the dove
caught and mangled; so severely burnt and wrought.
Like a Phoenix of its ashes, the little dove,
so bold yet humble, rises up in fantastic fashion.
(The Dove - by Jeremy P. Magee)
|
| Peregrinus |
Posted - 11/06/2013 : 15:52:58
quote:
Originally posted by catmac
I too was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 3 years ago and I am now virtually pain free
Catmac:
I've never heard of someone beating fibro myalgia! How did you do it? Are you still suffering from TMS? Several friends (claim to) have FM and they all seem to resist any suggestion that their pain is psychogenic. I'd like to be able to tell them about some positive results. By the way, in your opinion what is FM? |
| catmac |
Posted - 11/05/2013 : 09:56:00
I have been told that FMS is hereditary. My biological father certainly had it (with good reason! His childhood was another form of hell). Perhaps what is hereditary is how we are inclined to respond to stress. I don't know. And it doesn't seem that anyone else really knows, either.
Welcome Lily Rose...............wow, what a story. This is a great forum to be on and lots of listening and good advice is given. I too was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 3 years ago and I am now virtually pain free, and you can be too. I had almost given up hope as I had been on many fibro websites/forum and they all painted a very gloomy future. This forum will give you hope, and as you begin to improve, your confidence will increase and your pain can ease.
I, too was on gabapentin. It worked well for me and the same as you, finally let me sleep at night. Now that I am pain free I no longer take it but I really needed it to begin with and it did help me stay calm while I was in so much pain.
Any Doctor Sarno book is a good place to start (I liked the divided mind), then I bought Steve Ozanichs book 'the great pain deception. Steve sometimes posts on here you can find him in the search box. His story is amazing. Those are the only two books I have ever used. All the information is in there to heal.
Slow and steady is the way to go with this, so if your husband says you are a 'slow cooker' then that is a good thing (I love that saying)
All the best
Catmac
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| Lily Rose |
Posted - 11/02/2013 : 20:45:49
I have never liked the idea that one story is more or less than another. We all have our demons, and our memories, and more specifically, our response to events. While I may emerge from a so-called shocking series of events with most of my sanity intact, another doesn't emerge at all. Another person may be devastated by a single event, and yet another wonder what the fuss is about. We are all unique in our responses. Even pain is subjective. A light touch on the arm can hurt me, and tickle someone else.
I have been told that FMS is hereditary. My biological father certainly had it (with good reason! His childhood was another form of hell). Perhaps what is hereditary is how we are inclined to respond to stress. I don't know. And it doesn't seem that anyone else really knows, either.
Your story, NJoy, is an example of deep-seated core strength. It is something that seems to be in each person who has decided that they are not going to take their pain as something that must be lived with. It is a reflection of this entire forum.
I will look into the links. I have to move slowly, sifting through ideas. Since I self-talk quite regularly, it probably will be natural fit ;)
Thank you for the welcome, the information, and the personal sharing.
^_^
My heart swells with the thought of the dove
caught and mangled; so severely burnt and wrought.
Like a Phoenix of its ashes, the little dove,
so bold yet humble, rises up in fantastic fashion.
(The Dove - by Jeremy P. Magee)
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| njoy |
Posted - 11/01/2013 : 13:16:50
Lily Rose, I am so glad you have found your way here. This IS the right place, as is the forum at tmswiki.org -- they have different personalities but the same warm heart.
I laughed when you said you'd defected from your FMS forum. Me, too, and the bpd forums (both kinds), and all the rest. There are so many sweet people there but no real solutions that I could find. Here is very different. People have recovered or are recovering. Those who still haven't found the way that works for them are encouraged, coddled and sometimes scolded just a bit as they are pointed in new directions. There are experts and professionals, talented amateurs, and a huge pool of real experience from real people It's a smorgasbord of things to taste and come back for more of what you like best.
My own story is not anywhere nearly as awful as yours but my childhood was, nevertheless, pure hell. The only thing I had going for me was a room of my own, books, and the fact that my parents didn't come in there. Oh, yeah, fried chicken most Sundays.
Other than those advantages, my parents were both alcoholics and extremely self-absorbed. Both been lonely and abused as children but had no interest in healing. They were unassailable, always right, according to them.
I had extreme (but vague) memories of violence and sexual abuse with no idea who was involved. My grandfather was nuts and my father had friends who, I found later, were involved in a child abuse ring that operated for 40 years that I know of and is probably still going strong. They were untouchables -- judges, prominent businessmen, rich people, people with power.
When I was about 4 years old, my father said "you talk too much" and had nothing further to do with me. Was his affection appropriate or not? I don't remember but my mother was non-existent and he was only home about 4 days a month so I needed him and he was gone.
By age 8, he'd turned his attention back to me (4 days a month; my mother continued to be a ghost who lashed out if she noticed me) and decided I should become the first female prime minister of Canada. This meant endless hours of badgering me about every move I made, every idea I had, everything I believed or thought, as well as my grades and my appearance (he raged that I wasn't tall enough, for example). His joy was to break me down until I admitted the sky was not blue (and believed it) and then turn me around until I believed it was blue again. Apparently, this would be useful when I was prime minister!
I hated my parents and prayed they would die whenever they went out the door. I spent all my time planning the orphanage I would build, someday, to save kids like me.
At age 30, drowning in depression and sorrow (I was getting nowhere with either goal; didn't even belong to a political party!) I suddenly realized I had not the slightest interest in being prime minister of anything.
No, I wanted to do fun things. Fun things like helping sad people feel happier. I began the long road to healing and, age 40, became a foster parent. For 25 years I did all I could to make a happy home for many, many kids. Sadly, this didn't do my own kids any good. They were stuck with me in my crazy, depressed years. They are in their mid 40s, now, and doing okay but I wish it had been a lot different for them. I thought I was a great parent, believe it or not. NOT.
I sometimes wonder if life is meant to be this hard for some people. If we survive, if we learn to thrive, we become so useful as examples to others who are struggling with despair. That's the backbone of this forum.
Lily Rose, welcome! welcome! welcome!  If you are interested in exploring a self-help therapy that has worked for me, you can read how to join our mailing list, below.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum
PLEASE READ!
I have been studying and using Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy for several months now and have found it most helpful in digging out what is really going on with me to cause tms symptoms.
Over at tmswiki.org there is NOW a mailing list for those who want to try using IFS for TMS. I hope you will try it out. The conversations are already going strong. You can read about IFS and find a form to sign up here:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/mailing-list-for-parts-therapy-tms.2868/
Learning to use the IFS therapy for self help is pretty easy, as these things go. There is a lot of info available on youtube.com and various other web sites. including tmswiki.org. If you search "Internal Family Systems", you'll find it. My recommendation for a book is Self Therapy by Jay Earley which costs less than $ 10 on Kindle (also available in paperback at amazon.com). It's thorough and clearly written.
The mailing list is a great way for us to support each other as we look at how IFS and other parts therapies can help.
Finally, best wishes to all who suffer from tms, especially those who are still struggling with symptoms. May we all find peace and comfort.
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| Lily Rose |
Posted - 10/31/2013 : 12:22:12
Thank you so much for the warm welcome. It really was a leap for me to post. I am always the person who does the counselling and hand holding. The caregiver, the friend who gently pushes and urges inner power to emerge. I never let anyone see too deeply into my own darkness.
My coping tool box is overflowing. It is my healing toolbox that I need to work on now.
I am NOT a victim. I was victimized. Terribly so. But I choose what kind of person I can be. I have reached the stage where I can begin to really work on my inner world. I thought I had been ... but nothing was working.
I haven't embraced TMS/MBS totally, but I have always been a slow-cooker (my husbands words). I mull over things for a time. When I do make a decision, my commitment is total. Gathering energy is part of the process.
Meanwhile, I am defecting from my FMS forum, which mulls over which drugs work best, and planting myself here.
Here is where healing can actually begin. Drugs don't heal. They help in many ways, and make a bridge of sorts. Eventually I want to cross that bridge and not look back.
This forum ... it has had a tangible, physical effect on my body. A softening, and a sense of breathing just a little bit easier.
The best way to describe what I feel as I read posts is: Gratitude.
^_^
My heart swells with the thought of the dove
caught and mangled; so severely burnt and wrought.
Like a Phoenix of its ashes, the little dove,
so bold yet humble, rises up in fantastic fashion.
(The Dove - by Jeremy P. Magee)
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| andy64tms |
Posted - 10/31/2013 : 11:10:13
Wow,
What a wonderful choice of user names Lily Rose, two beautiful flowers, chosen even after such a traumatic childhood and life.
Consider this forum a central hub for the help you need, it’s all here. There is another forum similar called the TMS Wiki http://www.tmswiki.org you might want to try that might fit your nature. These forums are both open to all the people of the world who believe that their pain feels real but might be caused by some philological reason; we are all seeking and giving help.
We have professional doctors of the mind and body to match our title for TMS has been retiled “The Mind Body Syndrome”,as well as wonderful insights from literally a world of personalities. I have found this place to be where I am able to bring those dark suppressed fears and emotions up to my conscious mind where they lose their power and meaning. I am learning for the sake of happiness to cope with and understand myself.
You are probably familiar with public forums, this one is a snitz, (love that word, just had to get it in!), it is easy to use and learn. May I be the first to point out the “Search” feature that can save you a lot of time, if you have a question or do not get a responsive answer you can go there. I encourage you to experiment with the entire search features they are really good. For example Dr. Alexander from down under has written much about prescription drugs and chronic pain. “Alexander”, “Drugs” and “Chronic Pain” will appear in yellow as you quickly scan hundreds on posts. Many of your immediate concerns and questions have been addressed since the forum was founded.
Other buttons include FAQ and Resources. Here is a quick glimpse at FAQ http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/faq.asp
I will let Tennis Tom and others recommend books, but I think the first one should be by Dr Sarno.
I have no association with this forum other than that of “just another poster”, but it’s my pleasure to welcome you warmly, your hope is not unfounded.
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
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