| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| dizzy dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 08:39:10
I was wondering if my last 3 questions would offend anyone. I am sorry that it did. I am not sure if the last questions disqualify the entire thread. Whether or not this is a valid approach to the healing process is a question that I have entertained from the get go. I am not, by any means, a specialist or an expert on the topic of the unconscious mind. I have seen that people who have written on that thread and have taken the time to answer the questionnaire have benefited to some degree. I find that writing about such intimately personal questions on a forum such as this therapeutic because it offers the opportunity to confront such feelings without the sting of reproach. In a thread that I started called "It's been a while,” I wrote down some of my most personal feelings. It is difficult for me to face some of these feelings. But by having people here who share similar problems as I do, I find it comforting and relieving to let-out some of the pressure. I am not sure what people think when they approach these questions. I wasn't even sure that anyone would be interested in them at all. However, people have been responsive and that tells me that it may be of value.
I don't want to insult anyone. The purpose of my last 3 questions was because I felt that while it's a big no-no to ask such questions, it may serve as a vent for some people. Obviously, I am asking such questions so you can only imagine that they are on my mind. Take the question of substance abuse; knowing that people who suffer from TMS have unresolved built-up repressions, I was wondering how many of us have turned to alcohol or drugs to dull our emotional or physical pain. What is the benefit in this knowledge? I would personally find it interesting, to say the least, that I have that in common with others. It was only after my run in with pot smoking that this occurred to me. Shortly after writing my other string I noticed many people there have tried many substances. I found that surprising.
Lastly, I didn't just throw this up without much thought. Who am I to say that it is a good idea, but I would encourage those of you who think differently to express in full detail your opinion so it can be discussed more. I just wanted to express in my words what my intention is. If for any reason it remains unclear, please write. I am surprised that the thread was shut down. I understand, Dave, that this is your forum but I think that you have just lost a beneficial source of information. I do believe that you intentions were at least on the surface good, but I question your reasoning to the fullest! I had no idea that knowledge would be put to rest.
Oh, one last thing. I haven't had an attack of any sort since my original thread begun. I find that astonishing!
Sincerely,
Dave
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| 18 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Allan |
Posted - 04/08/2005 : 20:35:43
May I offer the comment that the subject matter of this thread is rapidly becoming exhausted, if not repetitive, and that this thread be closed also.
Allan |
| Laura |
Posted - 04/08/2005 : 09:49:29
Thanks, Stryder. Couldn't agree with you more.
Laura
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| Stryder |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 18:47:15
A couple observations...
If you don't like a post or question, no one is forcing you to read them or answer it.
Its very hard with the TMS subject matter to draw a clear line between on / off topic. Some things that are of interest / benefit to one may not be to another.
Moderated is what it says. A locked thread is no big deal, its still there.
Gary created this forum, Dave was kind enough to keep it going.
No foul, press on with the business at hand.
Thanks, -Stryder |
| Louise |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 15:16:36
Dave -
You are so often the voice of calm cool reason here - thank you so much for your excellent moderation of this site. You have a deft way of steering us back in the right direction when we stray too far off of the TMS path. I for one, feel that you do it with grace. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 13:38:00
Dear Dizzy Dave,
I feel you are over reacting to Dave's comments. I don't feel he has any ill-will toward you or is sneering or showing any disrespect to you. From your posts you sound in a very hightened emotional state which is probably good for your TMS pain. By posting on this board you have rid yourself of your TMS symptom.
Don't leave in a huff. This is Dave's board, he has the right to run it in any manner he see's fit with his philosophy of TMS. He is remarkably tolerant and hands off. I don't think he deserves any invective and only thanks for this public service he provides. Otherwise, he has the perfect right to un-plug it and there will be no TMS Forum for the planet.
The Forum is not an entitlement. I'm sure it requires much thought, time, energy and expense to keep alive that we are never told about. Dave was kind enough to keep it alive after AustinGary left. I think Gary left beause of the weight of the burden of personal attacks. It gets to me too and I've pulled back when it gets too personal.
On those rare occasions, that Dave has pulled in the reigns, I have respected his wishes and cooled it. This has nothing to do with free speech. Anyone can say whatever they want in this country in THEIR space but not in someone's private space which this is.
DizzyDave, I write this with no ill-will to you and think you have made positive contributions. But I do think you are in a hightened state of emotional sensitivity. Be greatful for the benefit you have derived from the board. Take a deep breath and re-think the situation. |
| Fox |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 13:18:03
If Dave feels a thread is off topic and has outlived its usefulness, that's good enough for me. Dave is a very tolerant moderator, has a deep understanding of TMS theory, and is extremely helpful with his heart-felt, intelligent, and logical advice to others. |
| Laura |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 11:19:23
I guess it's all a matter of opinion and how you look at it. |
| Kajsa |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 11:09:29
[I think it is absolutely ok to write about your own dysfunctional sexual relationship - if that is a problem.
It is nothing to be ashamed about -and I am sure that writing about it and discussing it
can have a value and be a part of an effective TMS approach
BUT I did not like the questions -because this kind of very sensitive things is not something you can not expect people to write about in general (I feel that my English isn´t correct right now but hopefully you understand me).
If someone wants to write about it , that’s ok .
But I do not think that it is ok to ask for other peoples experiences. If they want to share this things -they
share it without being asked.
Kajsa
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| Dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 10:22:57
quote:
Originally posted by Laura
This is a TMS person's worst nightmare. You can only imagine the guilt I'm feeling right now for ever even mentioning my dysfunctional sexual relationship with my husband.
Then you should examine that guilt and realize it is irrational and an ingredient of the unconscious rage that leads to your TMS.
DizzyDave is blowing this way out of proportion. Anyone who sees it differently should take a step back, take a deep breath, and examine what you are feeling.
This is a moderated message board. I almost never delete messages, and very rarely lock topics. When I do, it's not about censorship or quelling "free speech", it's about keeping this forum on topic. This is how a moderated forum works.
Note that I did not lock any other topics or make any attempts to discourage open communications on this forum. If you believe that, then it is in your own mind. |
| Laura |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 10:20:53
Dizzy Dave,
I hope you read this. I just want to thank you for all your input and your support. I feel like I know you personally even though I do not. I cannot tell you how happy I am that you, after 13 years of suffering from dizziness, are now free from this horrible problem. The posts on the questionnaire were enlightening and comforting and I will miss that. Perhaps in the future, those of us who want to have discussions that are not acceptable on this forum can e-mail one another and communicate that way. I for one will call you and get your e-mail address because I think you have a great deal to offer.
Laura
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| Dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 10:18:00
quote:
Originally posted by dizzy dave
"This forum has never been about "emotional support" though it has clearly taken that direction at times, and I have not gotten in the way." – Dave (not me!)
From everything that I have read, emotional support is a big slice from the pie on this, your forum. I wouldn't know how to start my own forum, nor would I want to. I found this creation of yours fabulous and have forwarded it to anyone that I feel it could benefit. It seems like you have been waiting for a good reason to shut my thread down. I am shocked and upset that you have proven to be so shallow.
If anyone would like to reach me, for this may be the last time I am writing here, my cell is 516-655-7657. I feel like an unwanted guest in a rich man's house. The other guests here have been so friendly and kind, while the owner of this great house sneers at me off in the distance.
Good-bye.
dizzydave
You are in a fantasy world, inventing emotions from me that do not exist. Perhaps on some level you need to feel that others "sneer" at you, and that you are "unwanted" ... but now I am going off topic.
All I did was lock a topic that I felt had run its course. I did not "shut down" anything. The messages remain for all to see, and of course you are free to start new threads. Yet, you feel compelled to take this action as a personal attack against you. Wow.
Clearly you have a lot more work to do on your emotions. I wish you luck in that regard. |
| Laura |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 10:16:19
This is a TMS person's worst nightmare. You can only imagine the guilt I'm feeling right now for ever even mentioning my dysfunctional sexual relationship with my husband. I know that Dizzy Dave was only trying to expand the questionnaire in light of recent discussions, i.e. his pot smoking experience and my celibate marriage. He was causing no harm to anyone, in fact only trying to help. I feel really bad about this because I enjoyed the discussions we were having and I also enjoyed seeing the similarities amongst us on the questionnaire. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? I'm completely shocked.
Laura
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| ssjs |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 10:00:38
A thought that I had when I saw the list of questions, was that aside from letting people vent, there was no scientific way to evaluate the answers.
I think almost everyone has tms! And there are probably as many potraits that can be painted of them as there are sufferers.
Sandy |
| dizzy dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 10:00:12
"This forum has never been about "emotional support" though it has clearly taken that direction at times, and I have not gotten in the way." – Dave (not me!)
From everything that I have read, emotional support is a big slice from the pie on this, your forum. I wouldn't know how to start my own forum, nor would I want to. I found this creation of yours fabulous and have forwarded it to anyone that I feel it could benefit. It seems like you have been waiting for a good reason to shut my thread down. I am shocked and upset that you have proven to be so shallow.
If anyone would like to reach me, for this may be the last time I am writing here, my cell is 516-655-7657. I feel like an unwanted guest in a rich man's house. The other guests here have been so friendly and kind, while the owner of this great house sneers at me off in the distance.
Good-bye.
dizzydave
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| Dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 09:37:15
Dizzy, I think that maybe you are still wound a bit tighter than you think that you are.
This forum has never been about "emotional support" though it has clearly taken that direction at times, and I have not gotten in the way. People are free to express their feelings, and if it is theraputic for them, that's great.
I didn't agree with the original idea of the "questionnaire" but others seem to have found value in it so I left it alone. But your most recent questions are clearly off topic. If you don't agree, feel free to start your own forum. |
| dizzy dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 09:24:51
Dave,
One last thing. You mentioned that you "tolerated" the thread from the beginning until I added the last questions. Why did you feel like it needed to be "tolerated"? I am glad you didn't shut it down then because maybe then I would still be dizzy. It's funny to me that you would "tolerate" the very thing that I feel is the contributing factor towards my good health. I suppose you and I have different needs.
dizzydave |
| dizzy dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 09:08:40
So kill the thread? Can you tell me that you know for sure that they add no value? Do you have any idea what has recently happened to Laura, for instance? She has expressed heart-felt emotions regarding her vacant sex life and ill feeling towards her husband HERE on this forum! Did it cross your mind that maybe tennistom's advice and others can thereby act as a help for her? Is it remotely possible that others feel emotionally tied up as well? I can only imagine how far Freud would have gone if sex was a topic to be ignored! I question your judgment.
Dave |
| Dave |
Posted - 04/07/2005 : 09:02:30
I believe the "questionnaire" thread served the purpose you describe. It was alive for quite some time and had a lot of contributions. Those three additional questions are way off topic and in my opinion do not add any value.
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