| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Marlawantstohike |
Posted - 06/09/2013 : 19:06:05
I have pushed past other back pain and sinus stuff that I knew was TMS and although I know the mid back pain is also TMS my mind keeps telling me it's because I am sitting wrong at work, just went back to summer job, and because I am bending over or have poor posture.
It's like a battle once again is going in my mind over TMS vs other reasons.
I am still doing my normal exercising but sometimes like yesterday I had pain while dancing.
It goes away when I lay back with heating pad and that's why my mind keeps saying its from bending over.
I went through a bunch of emotional stuff with my husband last month and it's taking it's toll on me physically. Things are better now but my body is now affected. |
| 4 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| 1koolkat |
Posted - 06/12/2013 : 17:12:48
Marla and Chickenbone,
I think we all have GOOD REASONS to feel shame, Chickenbone. McLaren says we've probably all been shamed practically since taking our first breath. For the first time last night, I was able to call my husband on a deliberate shaming comment he made to me. Did he know it was shaming? No, because he has his own issues of shame and it came from that projection. I excused myself, and went straight to my book and did the shame exercise. Later, when I asked him if I had hurt him with my "shameful" behavior and he said "no", I shut up and waited for the apology. It took awhile, but thank god he's reading the book and willing to work through his own stuff!
I feel for ya, Marla. Having a depressed, angry husband (who's not dealing with it?). As a former very depressed (finished after reading Sarno), angry person, it is TOUGH to love us. Hats off to ya gal, and it's good that you know to take care of you and love you first. Sometimes, I wish that my confrontation avoiding first husband (also very shamed and traumatized as a child) would have just told me to stop! when the anger came lashing out like that (since I am talking about the past, it may not have helped for all I know, - which is nothing). It's harmful to all concerned to disgorge the anger toward those who love us. However, shamed people often don't have strong boundaries to deal with others.
Dancing! Yes, this is very nurturing for me. It all goes away at that time. There is no pain when I'm doing and being pure love.
Peace on the journey. Kat
Kathryn Parker |
| Marlawantstohike |
Posted - 06/10/2013 : 18:40:26
Thank you Kat. I will look it up. Many years ago a counselor said to me the war is over its time to put your armour down. For so much of my life starting at age 6 was fear, and other powerful things to deal with.
When I finally got past it my body was on super drive still waiting for the next battle.
I still feel that way because of dealing with my husbands depression and anger. I try not to be co dependent or the other direction in anger back or defensive.
My body takes a big toll sometimes from this. Most of the year when I am off I can find a place alone to deal with it, bathtub etc, but I work full time in the summer.
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| chickenbone |
Posted - 06/10/2013 : 08:25:49
Excellent post, Kat. I am thrilled that you are doing well with this book. It seems like we all need to find a book or method that works for us. I have pretty much the same type of issues that you do - being ashamed (for no good reason). I think I could benefit from this book also. |
| 1koolkat |
Posted - 06/10/2013 : 05:29:29
May I suggest the book by Karla McLaren called, "The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying To Tell You." Through Sarno's material, along with Brene Brown, I have recognized how shame bound I have been throughout my life and that illness and pain and depression has been my protection from living life fully. I am using this book now with great success and you must know, it brings on a different level of emotional pain. But it moves through quickly. This book is a great adjunct to Sarno with exercises for each feeling for reconciliation and reintegration.
I see mid-back, well, ANY back pain, this way: I ask myself, "What is 'back' there?" In other words, what is in the past that needs to be healed?
The beauty of your pain is that it's showing you what's next to be healed (and the difficulties with husband, especially if you haven't forgiven 100%, will show up as pain, as you suggest). I hear in your language the words "pushed" and "battle". Stop the war. Give up. Your feelings want to be heard.
Glad to help if need be. I send you blessings and Love on your journey. Kat |
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