| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Birdie78 |
Posted - 05/17/2013 : 01:28:21
Hi!
I really "like" it, when my pain behaves TMS-like because it improves my confidence in the diagnosis!
I dealt with severe pain in my right buttock & leg, being diagnosed as piriformis syndrome and myofascial pain. This pain stood with me for nearly 2 years in which I was not ably to sit longer than 10 minutes (and not without a cushioned pad). I was lying in bed in these 2 years. The trigger was my doctoral thesis I had to quit therefore. I also developped "RSI" in both arms so I wasn't able to type any more. And of course I developped voice problems when I used a speech recognition program.
Then the pain there in my buttocks slowly subsided (maybe 80%) so that I was able to drive my car again and sit for a few hours...only to settle down in the next area: ellbow and shoulder (where it still stays. The trigger: a severe illness of my parrot which is very important to me because giving me this bird was the only and the best thing my father did when I was a childe beside all the neglect and mistreatment...maybe I should change my nick  ). BUT since the pain in my arm isn't bothering me as much as it did in the beginning and I am more confident that it will pass away some days....it came back from one minute to another in BOTH buttocks and legs! Well, now both heels hurt (since 1996!!), my right arm is still painfull und very stiff and in addition my hips are incredible painful. Sitting is really ouch and so is walking...every step feels like I am 80 years old.
Ok, so the trigger I identified was the call from a former private-pupil of me. A few years ago I quit my job (I wasn't able to work fulltime in these times due to forearmpain and stress-intolerance but worked half a day by driving to pupils for private lessons - don't worry, not for English ). Well, I had to quit this job because I wasn't able to drive and to sit any longer. So I lost my doctoral thesis and my job.
The pupils mother called me two days ago, asking me if I am still doing this job and liked to give some lessons to the brother of my former pupil. The bad thing I was afraight of during this telephone call was that they moved away and I now had to drive about 50 miles to their new home. That would mean driving 40 minutes to their home, teaching the boy for about 90 minutes, driving home 40 minutes again. What also stressed me was the fact that I really felt I had to raise the price of the lessons due to the enorm gasoline costs in Germany. I normally took 20$/60 minutes but as the gas would cost me 10$ that would be a loss account. Very alluring for a chronic people pleaser to say:"oh well, of course the lesson will be at the same price for you, my friend!".
What I also identified as a big, big trigger is the fact that if I was able to do this again I would be able to get some of my life and my independence back which was - as I felt - no longer existent since I developped a full blown TMS aka "fibro" with pain in nearly every part of my body plus exhaustion and fatique and flu-like symptoms.
So the TMS gremlin is trying to foreclose every step in the right direction. I am really willing to do this job despite pain but I am soooo frightened and that's exact the problem!
As I am so overreacting to minor stressors in my life (like telling the pupils mother that I will demand more money) and this will immediately cause more pain I am really curious about how I will ever deal with the really big stressors of life?
But well, I am working on it and in the last time some of my symptoms really improved (the exhaustion & flu-like symptoms with generealized "growing pains" subsided more and more).
Only wanted to share this with you!
Have a nice Day,
Birdie
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Birdie78 |
Posted - 05/22/2013 : 10:09:10
Hi,
just a short update: went to the lesson today. On the way my piriformis tried to act up, but I ignored it sucessfully. I enjoyed the lesson, had only minor pain but was a bit angry about myself as I was paid wayyyyy too little money and was so baffled about it that I was speechless (baffled because she gave me not enough but acted as it was an extra bonus !?). Hopefully a big missunderstanding, next time I see her I will adress that issue.
I really, really missed teaching so I will go on with this again!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
| Birdie78 |
Posted - 05/18/2013 : 09:35:42
Hi,
Gailnyc, thanks for your kind words.
We need a room where we can work in so the lesson either has to be at my home or at the pupils home. As we live in the countryside one needs a car to get from one point to another.
My pain in the buttocks/hips lessened over night and went to my heels. The left in the morning and the right heel just now
I will try to do the job and drive the whole way on my own because I really, really want something of my life back and I guess that's an optimal chance to practice because it's only a minor stressor. I also worked with my therapist on some helpful visualisations I can imagine in stressful situations like driving to ne pupil.
I tend to be overwhelmed really quick, I just feel like a three old kid then that lost his mother in the supermarket, completely helpless and unable to think logically.
A nice example: a few hours ago my husband accidentally stepped on my foot. I screamed and he was alarmed because he didn't know what's going on....and therefore was putting more wight on his leg while he was still standing on my foot . I screamed even louder because it really hurt but there was only this pain and I was not able to shout at him "please you are standing on my foot with your hard shoes". I only screamed until he notices what's going on and then asked me why the heck I didn't tell him the fact? But I really was not able in this moment, it was like my brain just had switched off this moment.
I guess that's a good example that under stress the connection between the neocortical area and the limbic system/brainstem is disrupted and the older parts of the brain are in charge. Fortunately one can work on that...
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
| gailnyc |
Posted - 05/17/2013 : 14:55:52
Birdie,
Your pain sounds awful, I really feel for you.
It does sound like anxiety over this new job could make things worse. Is there any way the student could meet you halfway, so you don't have to drive so far? |
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