| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| la_kevin |
Posted - 05/08/2013 : 03:36:36
Hello,
I was a regular here a few years ago, maybe 5. I've been pain free from TMS/AOS/Chronic Pain for about 4 years roughly. Haven't really stayed up on Chronic Pain issue but I recently came a across a weird article which made me think about this place.
Maybe some here remember me, maybe I'm so old school "TMS FORUM" nobody here has any clue who I am.
Hello anyways!
EDIT: I was perusing the recent posters and some names I recognize, some I don't...but it seems to be a regular crowd that posts. What's the deal? Do newcomers say anything?
---------------------------
"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon
"TMS is just as afraid of us succeeding, as it is us failing" - Me |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| gailnyc |
Posted - 06/05/2013 : 19:09:48
quote:
Originally posted by catmac
Hi Gail
I was the exact same, Gail, terrified of the pain getting worse. I stopped doing pretty much everything incase I made the pain worse, ie, went off sick at work, wouldn't book a holiday, wouldn't go for nights out, etc etc. I would only do the bare minimum. I was miserable and thought I was dying!!
My first lightbulb moment came when I went to a local coffee shop with my sister. She had just returned from holiday and I was totally engrossed in how her holiday had been and all her stories that I didn't notice any pain. The minute I arrived back home, the pain kicked in big time. That was my first clue that this pain could be psychological rather than physical. I realized then that I should pander no more to this pain so I started to plan to get my life back. I returned to work, increased my exercise and social life and booked a holiday. This was all done gradually. I was still scared (terrified sometimes) but carried on anyway. Eventually as I rebuilt my life the fear left me. Like la kevin says your tms will decide to leave you when the time is right. Just accept you have it just now, and work with it.
I hope this all makes sense. I could say so much more. It's not an easy road but you will get there. Each small achievement will build your confidence and you will get better.
keep in touch
catmac
Catmac, thank you so much for this. It is extremely helpful and encouraging. Sorry it took so long for me to reply!
Gail |
| la_kevin |
Posted - 06/02/2013 : 15:14:42
Holy Hell, I'm SO sorry for not responding to people's posts.
I've been super busy and when I viewed the thread from my cellphone the posts are BACKWARDS in chronological order, so I never saw any new ones. I was wondering what was going on.
---------------------------
"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon
"TMS is just as afraid of us succeeding, as it is us failing" - Me |
| bryan3000 |
Posted - 05/22/2013 : 23:08:34
Holy moly, great thread Kevin. Just got around to getting through it.
Great advice. Thanks for the good will in coming back to help out. The grattitude on this thread is very apparent. |
| Lou |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 21:29:55
Very helpful - especially for people who've had relapses and a variety of symptoms |
| njoy |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 20:15:45
This is great stuff. I've copied the entire thread and am editing it down to the gist of your ideas, kevin. Thanks so much.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
| catmac |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 10:22:26
[quote]Originally posted by gailnyc
Catmac and Susie,
Can I ask how you learned to let go of fear? It's what I'm struggling with right now.
My fear is mainly of the pain getting worse. How do you let go of that?
Gail
Hi Gail
I was the exact same, Gail, terrified of the pain getting worse. I stopped doing pretty much everything incase I made the pain worse, ie, went off sick at work, wouldn't book a holiday, wouldn't go for nights out, etc etc. I would only do the bare minimum. I was miserable and thought I was dying!!
My first lightbulb moment came when I went to a local coffee shop with my sister. She had just returned from holiday and I was totally engrossed in how her holiday had been and all her stories that I didn't notice any pain. The minute I arrived back home, the pain kicked in big time. That was my first clue that this pain could be psychological rather than physical. I realized then that I should pander no more to this pain so I started to plan to get my life back. I returned to work, increased my exercise and social life and booked a holiday. This was all done gradually. I was still scared (terrified sometimes) but carried on anyway. Eventually as I rebuilt my life the fear left me. Like la kevin says your tms will decide to leave you when the time is right. Just accept you have it just now, and work with it.
I hope this all makes sense. I could say so much more. It's not an easy road but you will get there. Each small achievement will build your confidence and you will get better.
keep in touch
catmac
|
| Ace1 |
Posted - 05/20/2013 : 03:30:47
This is really great advice from suzie. It really does just take practice. |
| Susie |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 19:50:03
Everyone's different. I really believe everyone suffers from Tms. Just so few realize it. I feel very fortunate. The knowledge has really contributed to my well being. I think you are well ahead of the game by recognizing what is happening. That is the hard part. Getting a handle on it just takes practice. Who doesn't like a good challenge?it will become very satisfying to you when you realize you are in control. You just don't know it yet. |
| gailnyc |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 17:55:20
quote:
Originally posted by Susie
It's a gradual awareness that you are ok. The pain never frightens me anymore, so I rarely have any...
It's a process. You have to practice at first and then it just becomes second nature. Have some patience. I will have to work on this my whole life.
thank you so much for this, Susie. I have been practicing and very slowly getting better at it. I find Claire Weekes's advice very helpful because she says never give up, at first you will feel fear a lot but as long as you are able to have moments of letting go of fear, you will be able to build on those until you feel them less and less. This is what I've been working on.
Some people make it sound like they were able to let go of fear completely and suddenly. I know it is not like that for me so I get discouraged. So thank you so much for your encouraging reply. |
| Susie |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 16:18:32
Hey Gail, my aha moment came years ago thru someone's post on the forum. The comment was about the pain and how horrible it was and that , somehow, I had survived that horrible pain. After all, since I had lived thru the terrible awful ( stole it from "the help") and I was still alive and kicking, what else could it do to me? You just have to embrace it and dare it. It's a gradual awareness that you are ok. The pain never frightens me anymore, so I rarely have any. The tougher thing for me are the odd symptoms when you think something could actually be wrong with you this time. The funny thing is Tms always overplays its hand. It always overdoes it until you realize it's just been your brain creating the problem the whole time.
It's a process. You have to practice at first and then it just becomes second nature. Have some patience. I will have to work on this my whole life. I compare it to my curly hair. Humidity will always frizz it up but I will always have a chi! |
| gailnyc |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 15:36:26
Catmac and Susie,
Can I ask how you learned to let go of fear? It's what I'm struggling with right now.
My fear is mainly of the pain getting worse. How do you let go of that?
Gail
|
| catmac |
Posted - 05/19/2013 : 14:53:09
Exactly, TMS thrives off that fear. You're experiencing pain already, why not face your pain and enjoy a walk with the pain? After that a light jog for a half a block. After that a bike ride.
That's how you face TMS, and after that TMS let's go of you.
---------------------------
Kevin, I think the statement 'tms let's go of you' could be an aha moment for many people. I think we all fall into the trap of fighting tms instead of accepting it. I think this is true of many illnesses accept it, live with it, do what you can to enjoy life despite it, and let it pass in its own time.
thanks for all your wise words...............truly helpful
catmac |
| Susie |
Posted - 05/16/2013 : 21:50:44
Hi Kevin, I ,too, remember you. I'm definitely one of the oldies. I was passing thru and saw your name. I look for some of the original members from time to time but see very few. I hope that is because they have learned how to deal with their Tms as you have. Thankfully, I have too. It's almost as natural as breathing and eating. The forum has changed tremendously. I hope it is as helpful to all of you as the old one was to us. To me, the greatest aid in conquering the demons was loosing the fear. Fear is the crippling enabler of Tms. |
| Cath |
Posted - 05/14/2013 : 06:03:51
This is great Kevin! And makes so much sense. There's not a thought you've expressed that hasn't run through my mind for the last two years since following the Sarno path to healing. I thought I WAS living my life the way I was "before pain", but I was fooling myself. Asking yourself the question "what you would do if someone told you that you were going to be in pain for the rest of your life" made me ACCEPT finally. And Claire Weekes" words were echoing through my mind also "utter, utter acceptance." It brings a sense of relief and a letting go, which in turn does decrease pain.
Cath |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/13/2013 : 20:45:33
WOW!!!! thanks so much, Kevin..AWESOME insights and info!
~Karen |
| Birdie78 |
Posted - 05/12/2013 : 02:31:42
Hi,
LaKevin, thank you for your detailled post, I am always glad to hear about personal experiences and differnt views!
Yes, I guess it's possible to get rid of TMS immediately IF you find the right button to push on as you did...then it can vanish from one moment to the next. That's fantastic! But I guess many people never find that button to push on so they have to work on their TMS and get better step by step. In my case it would be enough and a great perspective to know that I am nearly or complete painfree in 5 years. I am a long term sufferer (since adolescence...started with years of voice-loss before it descended into severe pain when I was 18) so what are five further years compared with the two decades I am suffering now?
Concerning the journaling...well, people are different and there're many examples from people in the TMS community who were immense sucessfull with journaling. I myself also don't like it very much, but I think of others like Nicole Sachs...her success story was all about journaling. I guess one important thing may be the issues you're journaling about (concering the past). I think adressing really, really traumatic experiences via jounaling and only reliving the horrific traumas (without bein able to counteract them with any new and positive experiences) will only reinforce the trauma-pathways. Journaling about the daily stresses and "minor" traumas of life may be even more reasonable.
It's the same with the metaperspective on TMS: do I accept my life and with it the TMS and stop fighting and resisting it (as Tolle suggests)? In my case I prefer (to try, ha ha) to accept my life and my pain as good as possible because it brings more freedom and relief from all stresses for me. But some people get the very important feeling of control from battling the TMS gremlin and that makes them strong and even successful.
I guess there’re some basics which are essential for healing (like accepting the TMS diagnosis to 100% and some more) and the rest – although it would be nicer to have a recipe that works for all people no matter how different they are – the pathway to freedom and healing is as individual as humans are.
Never the less, I really appreciate and love to read about how people managed to get their life back! It's inspiring each time and gives some hope to the folks here that even getting healed from severe forms of TMS is possible!
Kind regards from Germany sends Birdie |
| la_kevin |
Posted - 05/11/2013 : 17:00:24
Not to sound full of myself but I actually had some great stuff to say back then, haha.
And wow did I ramble.
---------------------------
"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans"- John Lennon
"TMS is just as afraid of us succeeding, as it is us failing" - Me |
| plum |
Posted - 05/11/2013 : 09:05:15
RSR, you rock my world. Big, huge, shiny happy thank-you's for re-posting this awesome thread.
la_kevin, how masterfully you expose the tms snafu. Superb. |
| RageSootheRatio |
Posted - 05/11/2013 : 07:02:13
WOW, HI la_kevin !! YES definitely remember you from before ... glad to see you and that you are doing so well.
sorry for this v short reply, but wanted to reply also esp for gailnyc and Ace1 and others...
BTW la_kevin, some of the following (below) would be excellent to include in any book you do, or at the very least, maybe deserve their own "master keys" thread, like Ace1's, along with your latest thoughts (that you've posted on this current thread)? I know these below are from 2008 and maybe your thinking has changed on some of these points, but maybe a good jumping off point?
The following was from a thread I saved a LONG time ago, which included la_kevin's "most famous posts", (and these are still up, so I hope it is OK I am reposting them here)... la_kevin is in blue:
*************
quote:
I KNOW a large part of the reason for my escalating symptoms is because I'm forcing myself to address my many issues (I took a weekend off after the second week and miraculously improved) but I also know that being constantly reminded of traumas in my life, constantly crying, constantly reading books on TMS, constantly forcing myself to focus on my emotions is making me miserable and robbing me of any quality of life.
FFF states you have to focus exclusively on the treatment plan in an intense way in order to push fibro out of your life as it is constantly focusing on the physical pain that is what is causing the TMS/fibro to stick around (working as a distraction from your emotional pain). But replacing one obsession with another is surely not right? What am I missing?
(I think "FFF" refers to the book, "Freedom from Fibromyalgia")
reply from la_kevin:
Because being wrapped up in the process of TMS will never heal you. If you want to continue to suffer pain, then keep giving TMS a life of it's own.
When you're ready to let go of the control and cliche 'journaling' till you drop from mental exhaustion,that would be a goos starting point.
In doesn't take 'journaling' every day to beat TMS. Not everyone has success at journaling, in fact many don't.
I've been pain free from 'fibromyalgia' for about a month now, and it keeps going. How many times have I journaled in the past month?
Zero
What changed it for me? Read my other posts if you're ready to let go of the cycle that will keep you in pain. Journaling may be adding to the cycle.
"Anger Diaries" are a horrible idea. You think getting 'mad ' at TMS or spotlighting your anger every day for hours would heal it? Or jotting down things that make you angry about the past, present, future?
From my VAST experience (7 years straight of debilitating fibro like pain), this does not work.
I know that I have 'offended' some people in the past by saying this, but the old "Journal journal journal till you drop and get angry at TMS" method will not work in the long run.
Dr. Sarno had/has only half of the equation.
Did you know that my TMS of 7 years disappeared in one day? You wanna know what it was? It was an 'aha' moment. That's all.
My 'pain body' ceased to exist when the complete logic of letting go and stopping the 'battle' overrode TMS, to the point where TMS is not even an issue on my most ENRAGED, STRESSFUL and ANXIOUS days.
You can read my more recent posts to gain a better understanding of someone who has TRULY beat severe chronic TMS. I know I'm not a "Doctor" or have not authored any books on the subject. My 'work' was in the trenches with TMS. Obsessing and studying every aspect of it until I had gone almost mad.
You want to cure TMS?
Then stop fighting. Stop obsessing. Stop being OVERLY aware of your thoughts. Cut the journaling if it makes you worse. Rehashing anger and disappointments about life won't magically make TMS cease in the physical body and come to the conscious foreground where it needs to be, and all is well in the land of milk and honey.
Just the opposite.
Ego, Control, not living in the 'NOW", "what if" thinking, undue anxiety about things you couldn't possibly change or stop from happening,being victimized by TMS, seeing yourself through a TMS lense constantly.... these things are your enemy.
Embracing TMS, relinquishing the Ego, giving up any illusion of control in life, seeing the pain as an indicator of wrong 'living', letting TMS have it's moment in the Sun, letting go of all thoughts of what you were 'supposed to be' in life, slowing down to be mindful and feeling instead of a 'thinking' being, relinquishing all thoughts of "getting TMS out of my body"....these things will heal you.
******
quote:
la_kevin - so much of what you say makes a lot of sense to me. I will take the time to read your other posts.
But as an update today....yesterday I did no FFF work at all, this morning I am relaxed, full of energy, skipping around the house singing, slept better and am now planning a day trip to a town that takes 2 hours on the bus....
I feel great, but in the back of the mind is the feeling that the TMS has "won". It got me to stop digging. I know I live in denial, I know I have a history of extremely traumatic events I have never dealt with, I know forcing myself to remember and think about them in the last month has led to depression and stress. So, letting go, living in the now, like I am today, is that not possibly WHY I've got TMS/fibro? Because when I do this I'm just papering over the cracks? Can I truly get better without dealing with my past?
Anyway, off for my little trip and to enjoy today :) Thanks to all the people who have posted here - I appreciate it!
reply from la_kevin:
Your past will always be with you. I myself had a very traumatic childhood. Most all of my therapists I've ever seen agree that I had one of the worst they've heard. But I visited the demons only enough to acknowledge how I really felt about it, and then moved on.
But from what I have seen, reliving negative experiences is not the solution. People who even suffer PTSD, (like I did when I was a child)will nopt ease it by 'talking it out'. The perceptions that the said 'trauma' caused to go off base, are the things that need to be changed.
Trauma changes people by altering their response to the world and their response to their own thoughts. It's my opinion that once you acknowledge the anger you feel about a past traumatic event or 'bad childhood' you NEED TO get busy on changing the cognitive patterns that you have NOW, in the PRESENT.
The 'inner child' stuff is played way too much. The emphasis on this part of the Ego is overblown. To revisit it in journaling over and over and over again , to the point where you relive it everyday...does what?
We all feel the way we do mostly because of the NOW. This is not a mimic of an Eckhart Tolle type mantra, this is just logic. You only have the 'now' to deal with your thoughts and how they effect you.
I could have seen someone I loved killed in front of me as a child. And hell yes that's going to affect me as a child for years to come. But after I revisit that memory in some therapy session, and acknowledge what it did to me, then what?
YOur past needs to be put in it's proper box. If someone did you wrong as a child, you need to eventually accept that bad things happen to children or young adults, and that no fault of it was yours. There eventually needs to be a place where it does not define you.
Yes, you can heal from TMS without journaling about your past. TMS is seeded much more in the 'NOW' than we are taught to believe, IMO.
TMS gains most of it's power from our daily responses to it, than any ruminating of past events could ever do. You could have a great childhood, great past life where nothing bad ever happened, and have full blown TMS....doesn't that make you wonder?
From what I have seen, TMS is a
1) conditioned way of seeing pain, as a response to avoid present or near present perceptions, fears, angers, stresses, and anxieties about life.
2) Given power by making it part of your identity.
3) Can easily go from a 10 in intensity to a 0, with just one 'aha' moment.
4) Thrives on 'what if' thinking. Examples:
a)"What does this mean, this new pain".
b)"Will I be like this forever?"
c)"What if I get a flare up if I am out in public or at work or the movie theater,etc"
d)"What if I don't beat this now, does this mean I really have something structural?"
e) "What if I won't be able to provide for my family"
5)Thrives on the ANXIETY caused by rehashing past regrets, seeing your life in a "I should have been this person" lens, or believing you 'should be' somewhere.
a) I should be pain free by now
b) I should be able to run a mile
c) I should be healed like so and so is.
d) I should be a Millionaire right now if it weren't for TMS getting in the way.(ahhh gave it power?)
e) If it weren't for TMS, I would be able to be such and such and so forth.
6) Loves when you berate yourself.
7) Loves when you attain self hatred or any negative self view.
8) Loves when you fight it and say things like "Get out of my body you %#$^! I will Bleep you you bleepin son of a bleep I'm so sick of you you bleepsucking motherbleeper(you get the picture)
9)TMS ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVES you to distract yourself with the subject of........TMS. It loves to be talked about on forums and boards. It has a life after all.
10) LOOOOOOOVES for you to mentally 'scan' your body to see "where the pain is now, is it moving? Is it, is it, is this good uhhh oh no it's in my foot, ahaaaa now it's in my back,.....ahhh it just moved to my ears...ahhhh.What does this mean? Why me, whyyyy, what's going on panic panic"
All this while you are talking to someone on the phone! :/
11)Loves for you to think you are ACTUALLY sick.
12)HATES when you are present and conscious of what's happening now. It loves when you worry about tomorrow. It cannot allow you to enjoy a moment, or be thankful for even the smallest joy.
13) Thrives off of thinking that "life sucks and this existence sucks"
14)TMS Luuuuhhhuuuhhhhhuuuuvz when you fight it. It wants a boxing match with you. That way, you don't have to face the world "outside". It's like a woodpecker on your shoulder that keeps you safe from feeling anything bad. Problem is, it just replaces all those bad feelings you might have about the world, with pain and bad feelings about being in pain. What a ****ing opportunistic asshole TMS is. But he/she thinks she's doing you a favor.
15)TMS wants you to get mad at it. It likes when you think you have control. But try releasing all control one day. Try actually laughing at it and doing exactly what YOU want to, without regard to it. Watch it go into a panic, it's hilarious.
16)TMS loves when you think you can 'outsmart' it. It loves when people think they can beat it if they just 'dig enough' in their little journals. As if talking about a life event for the millionth time will one day 'jolt' TMS. "You'll show TMS this time kid"(shakes fist in the air). What a joke, definition of insanity.
17) TMS loves when you are predictable and try to counter it with 'methods' and 'approaches'. It hates when you just give up and stop fighting. TMS after all, needs drama and action, lights, camera. Anything to be alive.
In closing. TMS is a ghost that thrives off of having it's own life and keeping you out of the PRESENT. It does NOT want you to FEEL. It wants you to THINK. Stop thinking. 95% of the thoughts that are running through your conscious mind are COMPLETE GARBAGE.
But there is a catch and a surprise too. This will blow your mind, as it has me.
While my TMS is 99% gone, my thinking is still mostly the same in everyday life. I really haven't changed my views of much. I really am not a 'better person".
The key is my view of TMS, that changed dramatically.You don't have to change the way you even view life, that may just be a side effect.
When you change the way you see the pain, what the pain means to your ego, what the pain means to your supposed 'future', what the pain is, what the pain can teach you, you will beat it.
TMS has nowhere to run once you realize it's fake. It's a symptom that thrives in distraction and thrives in the fact that it has GOT YOUR ATTENTION.
Want to see TMS get scared as hell?
Imagine yourself having it for the rest of your life (worst case scenario). Sit there and meditate on it. Imagine your life and all those years passing by with chronic pain.
After that, make a deal with TMS. Say "If this is what you want, so be it". And then go outside and accept the fact that you were promised nothing....and live your life. With the total acceptance that life is what happens and you will do what YOU can, while this event has other plans. Accept that TMS is with you and in you. Thank TMS for showing you that you needed to change. Be aware of every moment you don't feel pain(these moments will turn into days).
Accept and move forward.And you will see how truly small TMS is. You will wake up and understand that the battle is won when you stop fighting.
*******
quote:
Originally posted by skizzik
silence
speechless
clap...........clap.........clap.clap.clap. full applause!
damn kev, who needs your success story when you keep comin out w/ posts like these?
I remember when you first got here and I felt like you were screamin "this aint no ha ha cute little tms gremlin crap that I got!"
and now you have a grasp on it that your'e conveying very well.
---
reply from la_kevin:
Bwahahahaha. I know dude. I was all CATASTROPHE and DOOM. To be fair though, I was in a panic. And I hurt all over like a mother. Let's be honest, I had TMS all over my body and felt like a truck hit me everyday. Can tend to make you hate life. It's just weird when you 'snap out' of the TMS cycle.
Of course now I realize it's so easy to 'accept' TMS in hindsight. A year ago, I would have listened to my own words and thought, "Who is this a-hole.... I wanna fight this crap.....yoooooo Joeeeee!!"
*Pulls out Ak-47*
******
Debs,
Your post sounds like you already had an "aha" moment right there.
Armchair described it perfectly. You are seeing what TMS does and is.
I was watching Eckhart Tolle speak about the intention of being a 'better person', and how it rarely works if it is something you actively try to change. True change comes about just by being aware of what is wrong in your thought process.
I find this is true. Just by being aware that TMS is on your mind all day, your mind now knows and this awareness will change it by itself, IMO.
TMS is on the mind of many people with the chronic form. So is it the constant thinking of TMS which gives it th fuel to keep going, or is it the constant pain that makes you think about it all day?
Chicken or the egg. I think it's both. But the one which you have control over to stop the cycle, is your part(the thought process).
We think about TMS all day because we want to control it. We think that if we think about it, it equates to ACTION. Thoughts are not action. Thoughts are garbage. TMS likes garbage.
I would seriously advise you to seek therapy for your TMS. You are a severe TMS sufferer like I was. Along with the 'self hatred' issues and low self esteem, you should talk to someone who is trained in what this all means.
At this point, I'm convinced you fit the severe TMS model.
Read your OWN posts over and over. Does this sound like someone who would have a smooth running Autonomic Nervous System? Does your bodily pain match your thought process? Yes it does.
Could a calm Nervous System exist in someone like yourself, as you are in life right now? I highly doubt it.
If I berated you all day, like you do yourself, how would your chemistry and subconscious react to me if I screamed obscenities at you all day and told you 24/7 how worthless you are?
Because that is what is going on in your own brain.
Trust me, I know 'self hatred'. I mastered the game to the point where I also hated everyone else on the planet and every morning I woke up I LITERALLY stuck my middle finger to the sky and said "Go **** yourself God", and I meant it.I was suicidal and borderline homicidal in my worst TMS days. WHat I really hated was my EGO, I now know that.
The EGO can be dangerous. I feel that it is responsible for most wars and crime in the world. TMS is just a symptom of the Ego run rampant in the negative. I believe TMS sufferers are ALL guilty of this. Even the 'people pleaser' types.
But I digress. Try and find a therapist who is versed in Mind/ Body syndromes. Writing your concerns on a forum can only do so much.
Good Luck.
*******
Here's the original thread, "Freedom from Fibromyalgia" if someone wanted to read the whole thing:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=4856
********
RSR |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 05/11/2013 : 03:37:08
Yes Kevin. I agree with you it seems to be just surrendering to what you can't control. And letting go of your body's reactions to things that scare or bother you. I was always trying to be in a rush too which i had to change. For me this process took a lot of time and practice, but I have definetly had others who just like you had a very similar story. I believe balto and hillbilly have a very similar story to yours. Thanks for your input. |
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