| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/07/2013 : 04:32:24
Loneliness is a big one for me and I wonder how much of my current pain is about that. I have moved 5 times in under 2 years after the death of my surrogate brother and 2 of my 3 dogs. Where I currently live I have a couple new friends and a boyfriend I see only 2 days a week. Essentially I am on my own here and that brings up feelings of aloneness and fear..especially dealing w/ a real ankle injury on top of TMS.
This seems to be a theme in my life..ie..learning to stand on my own two feet..both literally and figuratively..Not quite sure exactly what to do about this..(certainly don't want to move again, nor can I afford to...)I'm praying, networking and have made a couple of new friends recently, thank God..But now that I am dealing w/ knee issues after working on (for the first time in awhile..I think it was the hip abductor/adductor machines)..I am really feeling alone with all this pain..i just want to be 'normal' again and pain free..It is hard to separate how much is real and how much is TMS when one is healing from a true recent injury..I do not want TMS to take over and make this take forever to heal. I would appreciate any support or encouraging words here..Sometimes this place helps me feel less alone w/ all this..thanks for listening.. |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/09/2013 : 13:28:07
Hey Art,
I couldn't get mad at you..You are an old pal of mine..:) I understand you always have my best intention at heart! Yes, I do think that is a big part of why I am suffering so much..and I am suffering..The TMS is moving to my low back now, neck, knee and the ankle injury is real..Of course, the left brain wants to say..well your gait is messed up from the ankle injury..that is why you are hurting all over! But......this smells of a massive TMS attack...Just not sure what the cure is right now..I feel pulled back to the Jersey shore..to the ocean, friends and some family who care..although most of my family is in their own world..My friends, however, are great..again..all in other states..I am making new friends here, which is great..and very awesome people..but still not sure if i want to even stay..The relationship has gotten better but I am still not sure if it will be 'forever.' Lots of 'not sures' going on in my life which is adding a great deal of stress...hence..TMS attacking hard core..Hope u are doing well, Art..:)
Hugs,
Karen |
| art |
Posted - 05/09/2013 : 10:18:18
Hi Karen,
Glad you’re not mad at me for my last tough love comment (in old thread). I meant well as always.
Loneliness is a bear. People..most people...are meant to grow up and form families of their own. When that doesn’t happen for whatever reason, it’s easy to get lonely. The cure obviously is other people. You don’t strike me as the shy type! |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/09/2013 : 07:48:42
Oh okay..thanks pspa..:) |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 05/09/2013 : 05:54:11
When someone edits a prior post that can show up as the latest post. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/09/2013 : 03:07:17
Hi Back2It..It says that you replied last on this thread, but I don't see anything..so not sure what happened.. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/08/2013 : 20:53:00
Those are really good points you bring up, Back2-It..food for thought, indeed..I appreciate the support..:) I am listening to Dr. Z's podcasts right now and it is really helping too..Regarding my b/f I have much to consider..I am working hard on my side of the street, the mistakes I have made..once I feel I have made enough progress in that I will re evaluate..He seems to be reacting well as he feels/sees the changes in me..I am becoming more independent and that is a good thing..There is sooo much conflict/loss in me for what has happened both long ago and more recently..It seems sometimes like it is insurmountable..But then, I know better..Nothing is insurmountable with the right attitude..I am a work in progress.. |
| Back2-It |
Posted - 05/08/2013 : 20:46:52
Singer...you are an artist who paints and creates without boundaries and you are not finding form with your boyfriend and with what you expected at this time in your life, it seems to me.
Not being where you think you should "be" in life causes great stress in life, which from time to time can be chalked off to "that's the way things go." And it is. But the willingness to accept the situation is hard sometimes when there are other scripts in the "supposed to be" constantly being played. We are where we are supposed to be, and then we resist.
Just the stress of being on your own with no leaning post can cause a level of anxiety for a person who does not have your history of moving about and without an artist's sensitivity.
Maybe your function will restore when you open your boundaries with how you think of you in relation to your boyfriend?
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/08/2013 : 19:33:00
thank you so much, Eric..I really appreciate that! I am excited that the forum is starting to feel like it used to years back..very supportive and very helpful! :)
~Karen |
| eric watson |
Posted - 05/08/2013 : 18:39:41
Singer Artist your a star- I feel your words
your emotions are colorful and full of power
your truly heavy into some sincere thoughts
the sound of romance illuminates the page
keep heart, more happiness is coming your way
break the wall, go under it- over it- knock it doun |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/08/2013 : 16:46:30
Thanks Back2-It..appreciate your thoughts..You may be onto something..My boyfriend and I used to see a lot more of one another..like 3-4 nights per week..His place was like a second home to me..We also spent weeks together when he put myself and my dog up during hurricane Sandy..(I was living at the Jersey shore at the time..it was bad, no power, etc..)
I believe part of it has to do with a reaction he had to my leaning on him too much..When I moved here a few months back, I knew no one but him..Then when I got injured (a month ago..the ankle)..I stayed w/ him for 10 days and he was taking care of me and my dog..(more then he bargained for)..It is an imbalanced relationship but at one time we were on the same page..he was falling for me..I know this..So, I hang in there hoping it will get back to those days or better..I am working on cleaning up my side of the street and standing on my own two feet..Just soo weird that now I have knee stuff going on too..literally it is hard to stand on my own two feet now..The unconscious issues inside me manifested physically...guess that is the definition of TMS..The ankle is a real injury..the knee may be part real, part TMS..i am not sure..
It happened 2 hrs after working out at the gym..There is no swelling i can visably see, it's not warm to the touch and I can bend and staighten the leg..but it hurts like heck out of nowhere..I can be laying in bed and BAM, a sharp pain..The quadricep on that leg is definintely smaller/weaker than the other leg from 3 previous real knee injuries..My knee was fine b4 this ankle injury of a month ago and working out on Monday..It does smell of TMS..I just have to convince myself that is what it is and work on it..
For me, more than loneliness is that I thought by the age i would be married with a family of my own..more settled..It's scary being single and living far from most of your friends and all of your family..Although what is left of my family is no where near as supportive as my wonderful friends..The trouble is that most of them live in other states..:(
Thanks for listening..:)
Karen |
| Back2-It |
Posted - 05/08/2013 : 16:07:37
Loneliness of one sort or another seems to play a factor in many TMS cases. The limited time with your boyfriend may remind unconsciously of times when you were lonely because of all your past moves.
When you are "with" someone who more or less sees you on appointment -- for whatever reason -- it is not the person's fault per se, but how it is reacted to. Perhaps you can change the situation with your boyfriend and maybe not, but when the term "boy" or "girl" friend is used, unless they in the service or have some temporary mission or it is a long distance relationship, I think the term might have to be redefined, either in your mind and in relation to him (if it is a thing that cannot be changed) to "friend". Then the unrequited meanings that go along with the word "boyfriend" will be easier for you to accept.
Add in the painful loss of someone who was very close to you, whom you cannot not see and have no access, and it is a difficult emotional soup for anybody.
Then you get pain from the emotional struggle; then you become afraid of the pain, so there maybe two things at work here.
Maybe not, but your time with you boyfriend seems top of mind to you.
You will get there.
"Bridges Freeze Before Roads" |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/07/2013 : 13:28:50
Thanks Tom..I just signed up for the support forum, so i will see how that goes..This forum used to be a combination of both informative and supportive..at least that is how I remember it..There are several old timers I see still posting here but they haven't touched any of my posts..Hmmmm..hard to not take it personally...or...maybe what I have been through and written just feels too intense or heavy to most and they don't know what to say? Anyway..i appreciate your responses..:) |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 05/07/2013 : 10:33:41
HI Karen, don't take it personally, check out the the TMS Wiki, they have two forums, one for "support", it sounds like you're looking for some of that right now. Lot's of folks post here and there.
G'luck!
tt/lsmft
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
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| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 05/07/2013 : 09:57:08
Thanks Tom..I can always count on you for a kind and helpful response, my friend..:)I used to get more people writing back to me years ago..Things have changed a lot here..Aside from you and Art, no one else seems to want to talk to me..boo hoo..:) Things used to be so much more interactive years ago..I miss that.. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 05/07/2013 : 09:51:28
Hi Karen/S.A.,
Have you tried the Coban bandage for your ankle I recommended?
http://www.nexcare.com/wps/portal/3M/en_US/NANexcare/Nexcare/ProductCat/~/Coban-Self-Adhering-Wrap?N=4326+3294631538&rt=rud&WT.srch=1&WT.seg_4=6360999017&WT.mc_id=SE_NCB_broad_coban-wrap&gclid=CJX3zsWqhLcCFQSCQgodMzoAjA
It's available at any drugstore.
Any swim pools near you so you can keep exercising to keep your MINDBODY strength up?
G'luck, gotta' hit the pool myself,
tt/lsmft
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod =================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
