| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 01:13:59
I am still having loads of trouble sleeping. I was not having serious problems sleeping before I got rid of my pain. I came to suspect that my sleep problem (anxiety problem) was another TMS equivalent, a symptom that the TMS strategy substituted for the pain (which no longer worked for the strategy). Then I tried to figure exactly how I got rid of my pain. That is, what were the key points of my recovery from pain. I also tried to eliminate what I tried, but did not help me get rid of my pain. After much thought, I came up with 3 items and only these three that enabled me to get rid of my pain. Here are the 3 points I needed to reach and BELIEVE:
1. The pain is definitely TMS
2. The pain is harmless
3. I don't care if I have pain or not (outcome independence)
The above are the ONLY items that worked, NOTHING ELSE.
Now I am trying to apply these 3 items to my sleep problems. So far, I have only accomplished number one, the sleep issue is TMS. I am still not believing that my insomnia is harmless or that I don't care if I sleep or not. I have read too many times how important sleep is to good health - I need to un-believe this. I once thought my pain was bad for me also. The 3rd one is the most difficult because it is so boring not being able to sleep. I would much rather be in pain than be bored out of my mind. It is really, for me, only about what I believe or don't believe.
One other issue is making it more difficult to overcome the sleep problem (I guess you could also call it an anxiety problem). I very seldom took pain medications, they simply didn't work. However, I do sometimes take medications for anxiety/sleeplessness. However, I am making some progress here. I am coming to believe that they won't work and am taking very little anymore. Every time I get fed up and take a med to sleep, I just kick the can a little farther down the road. Those are just delaying my recovery.
One thing I have learned is that I cannot recover by channeling Eckhard Tolle or other spiritual people. I cannot recover by cultivating peace and serenity. I am not a particularly peaceful or serene person. I cannot emulate others, although I have great respect for them. I must be ME, just minus the bad stuff. If I must change my personality, I prefer to keep my problems, period.
Wish me luck. |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/27/2013 : 13:17:08
Exactly, Alix, you have picked up my meaning perfectly. |
| alix |
Posted - 03/27/2013 : 09:40:36
That is a subtle observation, chickenbone. I realized that when my symptoms were disappearing temporarily in the past (I could not figure out why) was always when I was intensely in the now.
Be it witnessing a car accident or a trip to a new exotic place. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/27/2013 : 08:24:43
Yes, Alix, staying in the NOW is so important if we are to recover. But it is so hard to do. I think that distractions like pain, sickness and discomfort do keep us in the now because they tend to keep us focused on the problem at hand. I sometimes think that perhaps ultimately that is what the TMS strategy is trying to do for us. It knows how toxic focus on the past and worry about the future is. |
| alix |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 21:03:09
Thanks chickenbone. In fact you and I are not far at all on Tolle. I am simply trying to step out of that stream of thinking and into the now whenever possible. It has been an immense help. I am certainly not living in a cave meditating all day... |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 14:49:10
Hi Gail, thanks for responding. Breathing exercises have helped sometimes. Meditation helps if I do it during the day. It tends to make me more relaxed, but mentally alert, so is not so good at night.
I have not achieved anywhere near the level of success with sleep that I had achieved with pain. I think this is because sleep is a deeper, scarier issue with me NOW because all the anxiety surrounding the pain has been heaped on the sleep issue, thus making it much worse. I realize now, that after being so proud of myself for getting rid of my pain, that the pain was never the real problem in the first place. The emotional anxiety and general distress is the issue and it has been all dumped on my sleep. So, net, net, I am not really a whole lot better off. I am still distracted and the TMS strategy is still stealing my life. At least now I can clearly see what the pain strategy was trying to protect me from.
Alix, The #3 issue was critical for me with the pain. I achieved it by a total letting go in that area. However, the strategy pulled a switch at the last minute. I like to think of it as Tolle describes as a "pain body", just a swirl of foul energy trapped in your being that contains all the toxic waste in your life. It attacks your organs, your life functions, etc. until you finally figure how to get rid of it. So you see, I did not get rid of the strategy, only the pain. Basically, I relate to Tolle mostly only intellectually, which is not very helpful. My mind loves his material, but my limbic system thinks that if we were all like him, the human race would probably not have survived 100 years. I think Dr. Alexander is correct that, when you have a bad case of TMS that can't be accessed totally consciously, it is so bound up with basic survival that it just isn't going to give up without a big fight, for which the conscious mind may not be prepared. I am sometimes mystified by it's strength. But, without going into my autobiography, I do have a fairly good idea why this is so. |
| alix |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 12:55:55
quote:
Originally posted by chickenbone
1. The pain is definitely TMS
2. The pain is harmless
3. I don't care if I have pain or not (outcome independence)
The above are the ONLY items that worked, NOTHING ELSE.
That is a great post chickenbone. How did you achieve #3? For me the way to achieve that state was following Tolle's philosophy on controlling thoughts. I would be interested to understand how you managed to get detached from the pain. |
| gailnyc |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 11:25:56
Chickenbone, have you tried breathing exercises or meditation at night to help you sleep? Andrew Weil's breathing exercises helped me relax enough to finally stop taking Ativan to help me sleep.
I suffer from insomnia periodically, and I do find the "not caring" to work, if you can really do it. Sometimes I'm just too anxious to do it, but sometimes I really can do it. The thing to do is just lie in bed, not caring whether you fall asleep or not. You can try progressive relaxation (tensing and relaxing different parts of your body) also. Just tell yourself it doesn't really matter if you don't sleep--what's important is that you relax and not get even more worked up about not sleeping. Do not watch the clock! (In fact, I cover my bedside clockface so I can't see it in the dark.) Just lie there and relax, not caring.
It usually works for me, though sometimes it takes two or three nights. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 10:55:40
Hi tmsjptc,
Thank-you for posting that. We should all be so lucky to have an understanding boss like yourself. It would prevent a lot of grief in the workplace. I know that my sleeping problem is really just anxiety. There are lots of underlying issues that could be responsible for the anxiety. I just wish I could get it through my thick head that anxiety in response to anything only makes things worse. But I suppose I could also wish that I wasn't human. |
| tmsjptc |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 09:46:54
Chickenbone, I have someone working for me who had trouble sleeping. I was amazed at how little he was sleeping at night and for how long this was continuing. I happened to have been at the beginning of my TMS recovery journey and shared with him my progress and even loaned him Mind Body Prescription. Also, I suspected what might have been the cause of his anxiety. Before reading Dr. Sarno's books, I would never have made the connection, but thankfully I am a bit more perceptive now to what gives people anxiety. In this case, I had selected someone else for a promotion when this guy clearly was a hard worker (a bit of a perfectionist like most TMS sufferers) and had asked for the bigger job. Shortly after this, his sleeping problems started. Some time later, I needed to make another personnel change and felt the time was right to promote him, and I did so. But, he still had the sleeping issues. With my new TMS awareness, I brought him in and asked him to be completely honest with me and let me know how he felt about not getting the promotion originally and if he was upset at me. He held back at first but then gushed that it really ticked him off and that he KNEW he deserved it. But, he liked me and didn't want to upset me by telling me all of this. After he got all of this off his chest, I asked him if he thought that this could have been the reason for his sleep issues. He said maybe and I just said to do me a favor and ask yourself that same question for a while and explore whether or not that could be it. A week later he came to me to say "thanks" and that he was sleeping normally again. This further bolstered my understanding of the many ways anxiety and other issues can manifest themselves in your body. I wish you luck in your continued journey. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 09:15:56
Thank-you Dr. James and everyone for your encouraging words.
Cath, I have used all kinds of excuses to justify my use of anxiety meds. I think we have to come to really understand our own belief system. Depending upon how threatened I feel at the moment, I have vigorously defended my use of them while seeking out authoritative
information supporting my position and at other times when I am being more honest with myself, I realize that they are holding me back and creating another layer of problems that I will need to solve later. I realize that part of the anxiety I am experiencing now is a direct result of my efforts to stop taking them. Unfortunately, fear and anxiety is not something we can get around. We must at some point walk through it and come out on the other side. This can be very scary. But just like most upsetting life experiences, once we get to the other side, we find that it was our imaginings, not reality that was so scary. I have come to realize that there is not much in the world that is more frightening that what my mind can conjure up.
I am thinking of an experience my brother had when he made the mistake of agreeing to go horseback riding with me and my friends. He is afraid of the sport. We came to an open pasture and decided to have a good run through it. My brother told me later that when he realized what was about to happen, he became terrified and resolved to jump off the horse (very bad idea). However, before he could get his act together to think about jumping, he realized that the horse had carried him safely to the other side and there was no need to jump. A little faith in the horse's ability to get him safely to the other side would have helped a lot. Sometimes, we just need to trust life to get us where we need to be. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 09:08:20
quote:
Originally posted by chickenbone
1. The pain is definitely TMS
2. The pain is harmless
3. I don't care if I have pain or not (outcome independence)
Here are a few more TMS Affirmatons that might be helpful to you and others:
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
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| Cath |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 04:08:41
Hi Chickenbone
Thanks for sharing this - I've been thinking along pretty much the same lines myself, but haven't wanted to completely admit to myself that staying on my meds is holding me back. And this is despite wise words from SteveO a few months ago. I know my pain is TMS, and that it's harmless. Sometimes, if I'm really truthful with myself, I don't know whether I'm hiding in my pain, which would mean that I do care that I still have this ongoing problem. Which is absolutely ridiculous, because who in their right mind would want this daily agony? And what's that all about?
I keep telling myself to stop procrastinating, and start to titrate down on my meds, but I constantly throw up excuses. My pain is still really bad even though I'm taking drugs, what would it be like if I wasn't taking them? The weather is still too cold to try to come off of them (the cold weather makes me tense up and makes my muscle spasms worse). I have tried twice before to come off them, and failed because the pain was unbearable, and made life miserable.
I just wish I could find the courage to do this. |
| gigalos |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 03:46:46
I wish you luck  Be yourself. |
| Dr James Alexander |
Posted - 03/26/2013 : 02:30:23
Chickenbone- i think you are on the right track. Good luck with it!
James |
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