| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 03/16/2013 : 13:53:56
I wonder how many on this board who are sufferring are really listening to the most important part of my keys to healing. I doubt very many. Are you doing the affirmations of relaxation EVERY time you are bothered physically or mentally in a continous manner? Are you doing it every night and morning for at least 5 min each? One who uses my keys cannot expect to get better in any reasonable time period without this step. It is ESSENTIAL. Why don't you all sufferring make a resolution that you will give it a shot in this manner for three months. If there is no improvement then stop, you haven't lost much. I doubt you will have had no improvement. Why keep searching for so many methods and prolong your recovery? You must learn patience, bc these work so subtly and slowly, you won't be able to clearly attribute your recovery to them. |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 03/31/2013 : 10:53:46
quote:
Originally posted by bryan3000
Pspa, maybe the time pressure keeps you focused in a way that doesn't allow as much for the "next thing" urge to creep in. In fact, I can relate some as when I get wrapped up in work on a deadline, I find myself in the zone, as they say. Wonder if that's the same for you.
I think that's right. |
| bryan3000 |
Posted - 03/31/2013 : 10:39:18
Pspa, maybe the time pressure keeps you focused in a way that doesn't allow as much for the "next thing" urge to creep in. In fact, I can relate some as when I get wrapped up in work on a deadline, I find myself in the zone, as they say. Wonder if that's the same for you. |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 03/31/2013 : 10:32:55
quote:
Originally posted by Ace1
Dear pspa, sometimes that urge rush is a subtle thing, it feels normal. You kind of figure this out by deductive reasoning, then after a while you'll be able to see it. . Look out for it bc I think it affects most of us in this society to some degree or another.
Yes, I know that habit of wanting to be on to the next thing well, and am doing my best to counteract it when I am aware of it, but oddly enough the one time I don't suffer from it is when I am under actual time pressure. Go figure. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 03/31/2013 : 06:04:56
Dear pspa, sometimes that urge rush is a subtle thing, it feels normal. You kind of figure this out by deductive reasoning, then after a while you'll be able to see it. . Look out for it bc I think it affects most of us in this society to some degree or another. |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 20:59:26
quote:
Originally posted by Ace1
It's just deconditioning and practice really. It just takes time of acting the opposite bc the chicken with its head cut off mentality really doesn't help you be any faster anyways. The affirmations really help a seemingly impossible task become one that is possible with time.
There is a great saying, I think it's Spanish, slow down, we're in a hurry. Oddly, with all my issues, deadlines and time pressure never bother me, not sure why that is. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 20:38:12
One more verse in light of Easter that it is not easy to do the right thing
Luke6:
32“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
The point is change your thinking and take it to the next level. Also it is the hard situations where we learn the most.
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| Ace1 |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 20:31:17
It's just deconditioning and practice really. It just takes time of acting the opposite bc the chicken with its head cut off mentality really doesn't help you be any faster anyways. The affirmations really help a seemingly impossible task become one that is possible with time. |
| RageSootheRatio |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 19:32:45
Ace1, do you have any examples or advice for situations where there are actual deadlines / agendas? When I do have the freedom to take my time, it is easier to act as if I have nothing to do and something can take all day and that is OK, but where I have difficulty is when there are deadlines / responsibilities to other people involved / some work situations / etc ... RSR |
| alix |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 18:54:21
quote:
Originally posted by Ace1
Let me give you an example of something, maybe this will help you. I went to this event with my young children where the have crafts etc. I remember a long time ago when going to this event, I didn't even want to consider it because I thought it would be boring even if my children liked it. I never did that part of the event because I was in this rush mode in my mind all the time which I suspect you are. This year however, I stopped this way of thinking, I went and had no agenda, I just was there as is if I had nothing to do and it could take all day and that was ok. It turned out to be really fun. I want you to apply this concept to yourself all day.
Exactly. It is what I also try to do as much as possible. Just be there, mindful, and present.
I have volunteered for many more tasks because they simply do not bother me anymore. Instead of focusing on the end result, I try to focus on the task itself.
Aussie, have you tried a mindfulness/relaxation practice? It could get you past your current stage. |
| Aussie |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 17:56:36
quote:
Originally posted by balto
Hi Aussie, there are many many reasons people don't get better despite having all these knowledges about different methods of tms treatment. I have the privilege of working with quite a few people in my own community and I have kind of putting together a list of those reasons that I have seen. I hope it would be of some help for you:
- your life is still stressful. Something in your everyday life is still bothering you mentally and continue to create negative emotions that produce negative symptoms. the sume of your emotion is more negative than positive.
- You're not fully believe in whatever methods you're using. Whatever you've learn from books, forum, doctors... is not convincing enough for you. Deep down inside you still doubt that it would "cure" you.
- Even when you're believing that a particular method would help, you somehow fail to NOT focus on your symptoms. You somehow can stop your brain from producing negative reaction to your symptoms. The symptoms is the focus of your thinking.
- You can't stop from having health worry thoughts (fear). You keep worry about what these symptoms will lead to. (get worse, permanent nerve damage, paralyse, cancer...)
- You don't give it enough time, you're not patient, you don't give the "treatment" enough time to work.
You have to simplify your thinking about tms/anxiety. Don't think of it as something so complex, so fearsome. You don't have to pay thousand of dollars for some programs to help you.
Tms is nothing but symptoms created by negative emotion and everyone is capable to get rid of it.
Elliminate as much of your current life stress as you can. Accept what you can not change or change your perception about it. Focus more on the positive side of life. Never ever worry about your symptoms, and most importantly, believe that you will completely heal.
It's all about BELIEF.
our brain get input from our 5 senses and our thought and convert them into emotions. And when emotion is strongly negative, it produce tms/anxiety symptoms.
Beside that, our brain also instruct our body to act like a mirror of our belief. It reflect exactly what our belief about our state of health is. When we have sickly belief, we will feel sick. When we have confidence, strong, and healthy belief, we will be healthy and strong.
All mindbody books taught the same thing. All tms/anxiety teacher taught the same thing. They all have the same message, just different ways of saying it:
Stop worry about your health - stop focus on your symptoms - believe the symptoms is benign - move on with life as normal as possible - destress and live life more positive... don't forget to give it time... symptoms will cease.
How you achieve these step is for you to figure out. We all get there, some taking different routes, but we'll all get there.
It is very very simple. Negative emotion cause symptoms. So just stop all negative thoughts then you will be fine. How? you figure it out. 
------------------------
No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience.
Hi Balto, Ace and Chickenbone,
Thank you for taking the time to reply. You are all right in so many ways.
My life is still stressful.....And always has been because I never feel content and always am putting pressure on myself to be doing more. This relates to everything from my hobbies to 'fixing' my pain problem.
I can also say that I have always had a tendency to be more negative and see the glass as half empty in almost all situations. This has lead to extremely high expectations of myself and never feeling content.
I do believe I have tms but yes there are parts that doubt certain treatment techniques will work and I get bored of them when they dont work after a short time. Then what happens is I stop doing them altogether and usually start focusing on the pain and how it is getting worse.
Focusing on the symptoms is what has been happening for a while now and whenever the pain level is cranked up I immediately panic and find myself thinking about structural issues.
Ace the way you talk about being in a rush describes my whole adult life perfectly. No matter what task whether it is fun or menial I rush through with my mind already focused on what I have to do next. I have lived like this for years....Never quite content with any situation.
I will slow things down and try to look at the healing a different way. I used the affirmations while cleaning the whole house this morning (Which usually irritates me!!) and I felt less agitated and my back felt better than it has in a while.
Thanks again for your advice.
|
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 08:37:21
Very good posts by Balto and Ace. I enjoyed the Bible excerpts. I often read the Bible.
I would only add a couple of things:
In order to heal, you must 1. believe your symptoms are TMS (This can be difficult if your mind keeps producing new symptoms to throw you off the track because they always could be real. You will come to know which are which in time. In your journal, keep track of each symptom and if it was ultimately TMS. This way, when you get a symptom you don't recognize, go back and see if it is in the journal. This will reinforce the idea that the symptom is TMS) 2. You must believe the symptoms are harmless. 3. You must not care about the symptom. #3 is the most difficult, but extremely important. Remember that the symptom (pain) is not the strategy. The real strategy is the mental distraction that is created around the pain (The compulsive monitoring, checking, worrying about, creating catastrophic outcomes). When you do not CARE, you rob the pain strategy of it's existence.
Your goal should not be to get rid of the pain, your goal should be to not be distracted by the pain.
I just wanted to make a suggestion about the affirmations. I found the affirmations to be more effective when I have several versions of each affirmation that I use depending on the current frame of mind, or mood that I am in. If you are not in a good mood, a very optimistic affirmation can annoy you. So you may want to downgrade it to a less optimistic version that is closer to what you can reasonably believe and that still moves you forward in your recovery. For example, a strain that I have often involves the frustrations about living in Panama. There are wonderful things about it and some not so good things about it. On a day when I tend to be more focused on the bad (because maybe the water and electric disappeared), and I catch myself saying bad things to myself about living here, instead of affirming "I really love it here" (that might work if I was in a really good mood when things are going well), I would change the affirmation to "I like it here just as much as any place else". Saying that is closer to what I can believe at the time. I really can't argue with that idea because, if I lived in the US, I would have frustrations, just different ones. If you have trouble believing affirmations, this might be something to try.
And just be easy on yourself. I beat myself up all the time too, but this has a lot to do with what caused our TMS in the first place. Sometimes, learning to live with TMS can work better than being so focused on getting over TMS. |
| Barbara Carroll |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 07:09:14
Thank you Ace |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 03/30/2013 : 06:45:02
Let me first start by saying baltos post s very good. Thank you balto.
Now to the affirmations, so I know if you in pain all day, then you really can't do it every waking second. So then do it when the pain is especially bad and when your having to do a task, which involves being active and as best as you can the other times. The more you can do it the better, just the Best you can. Somehow the affirmations take some of your minds attention off your body and they send messages to your unconscious mind(this aspect takes time though). With time, what your trying to accomplish in your affirmation becomes easier to do and you see it more when your not doing it. You become more aware. I would mainly use the I'm calm relaxed patient and confident one, unless your constantly annoyed and irritated all day, which requires the I take my time, forgive and let go easily a lot also. I'm more and more impressed with the fact that the urge to be in a rush or go on to th next task is the major contributor to TMS. It is VERY hard to see though. When you do the affirmations for some time, you will see that as you say the words they will start to feel as if they are calming you down as you say the words. After he 3momth trial of what I am suggesting, look back and see if your better in an overall picture. If the answer is yes, then keep going, if not come back here and let's see why not. This process is hard even with the keys I listed, they just help to guide you to help you make progress albeit slow. You will eventually with time very clearly see why your in pain, but you will think you cannot stop these habits. Well with continued practice and affirmations, you will slowly continue to get better at changing these habits. Any habit that must be changed takes time. I would not be surprised if this process took you a few years, but why is that so bad, your very young. Ths healing is the true healing, the one that takes time. It is very hard, but when your in pain, you have to realize that you have to not try so hard to want to escape it as that also perpetuates he symptoms.
Let me give you an example of something, maybe this will help you. I went to this event with my young children where the have crafts etc. I remember a long time ago when going to this event, I didn't even want to consider it because I thought it would be boring even if my children liked it. I never did that part of the event because I was in this rush mode in my mind all the time which I suspect you are. This year however, I stopped this way of thinking, I went and had no agenda, I just was there as is if I had nothing to do and it could take all day and that was ok. It turned out to be really fun. I want you to apply this concept to yourself all day. The affirmations are just important tools to help you achieve this state of mind. After a while, the use of them will not feel fake. You however as you get better, may make this fall by the way side because it feels boring. Remember this boring feeling is part of our rush mode brain, so overcome this resistance by changing the way you think about it. Since Easter is coming apron us let me leave you with a parable by Jesus that I think applies. Good luck and keep up the good work.
3 Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. 5 Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. 6 But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. 7 And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. 8 But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9 He who has ears to hear, let him hear!”
18 “Therefore hear the parable of the sower: 19 When anyone hears the word of the kingdom, and does not understand it, then the wicked one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is he who received seed by the wayside. 20 But he who received the seed on stony places, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures only for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he stumbles. 22 Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. 23 But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.”
|
| balto |
Posted - 03/29/2013 : 22:24:21
Hi Aussie, there are many many reasons people don't get better despite having all these knowledges about different methods of tms treatment. I have the privilege of working with quite a few people in my own community and I have kind of putting together a list of those reasons that I have seen. I hope it would be of some help for you:
- your life is still stressful. Something in your everyday life is still bothering you mentally and continue to create negative emotions that produce negative symptoms. the sume of your emotion is more negative than positive.
- You're not fully believe in whatever methods you're using. Whatever you've learn from books, forum, doctors... is not convincing enough for you. Deep down inside you still doubt that it would "cure" you.
- Even when you're believing that a particular method would help, you somehow fail to NOT focus on your symptoms. You somehow can stop your brain from producing negative reaction to your symptoms. The symptoms is the focus of your thinking.
- You can't stop from having health worry thoughts (fear). You keep worry about what these symptoms will lead to. (get worse, permanent nerve damage, paralyse, cancer...)
- You don't give it enough time, you're not patient, you don't give the "treatment" enough time to work.
You have to simplify your thinking about tms/anxiety. Don't think of it as something so complex, so fearsome. You don't have to pay thousand of dollars for some programs to help you.
Tms is nothing but symptoms created by negative emotion and everyone is capable to get rid of it.
Elliminate as much of your current life stress as you can. Accept what you can not change or change your perception about it. Focus more on the positive side of life. Never ever worry about your symptoms, and most importantly, believe that you will completely heal.
It's all about BELIEF.
our brain get input from our 5 senses and our thought and convert them into emotions. And when emotion is strongly negative, it produce tms/anxiety symptoms.
Beside that, our brain also instruct our body to act like a mirror of our belief. It reflect exactly what our belief about our state of health is. When we have sickly belief, we will feel sick. When we have confidence, strong, and healthy belief, we will be healthy and strong.
All mindbody books taught the same thing. All tms/anxiety teacher taught the same thing. They all have the same message, just different ways of saying it:
Stop worry about your health - stop focus on your symptoms - believe the symptoms is benign - move on with life as normal as possible - destress and live life more positive... don't forget to give it time... symptoms will cease.
How you achieve these step is for you to figure out. We all get there, some taking different routes, but we'll all get there.
It is very very simple. Negative emotion cause symptoms. So just stop all negative thoughts then you will be fine. How? you figure it out.
------------------------
No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| Aussie |
Posted - 03/28/2013 : 18:25:47
quote:
Originally posted by Ace1
I wonder how many on this board who are sufferring are really listening to the most important part of my keys to healing. I doubt very many. Are you doing the affirmations of relaxation EVERY time you are bothered physically or mentally in a continous manner? Are you doing it every night and morning for at least 5 min each? One who uses my keys cannot expect to get better in any reasonable time period without this step. It is ESSENTIAL. Why don't you all sufferring make a resolution that you will give it a shot in this manner for three months. If there is no improvement then stop, you haven't lost much. I doubt you will have had no improvement. Why keep searching for so many methods and prolong your recovery? You must learn patience, bc these work so subtly and slowly, you won't be able to clearly attribute your recovery to them.
I wish it was that easy Ace... I have tried the affirmations and not only do they not help but every time I say one it feels false. You say to do the affirmation every time you are bothered physically or mentally?? Well most people who are in chronic pain have the pain level slowly increase and become more disabling so that you are basically hurting 100% of the time. My pain started off as very minor and a background thing but lately has been constant and more severe. My symptoms are bothering me every waking moment for every second of the day. Do you suggest I say an affirmation every second of the day? All day like a broken record?
Especially when I dont feel they resonate with me or influence my pain or thoughts? While I completely respect your approach and think it's a good clear message compared to the cryptic and hard to understand Sarno treatment recommendations I still feel like 3 months of trying something that you feel is not working is a big ask.
I get that some people find this easier than others and the more optimistic people seem to heel quicker but im just being honest and there are a truck load of people on here doing everything right and trying these approaches and getting absolutely nowhere with their pain apart from holding onto the idea that this may work for them.
Im so bothered by my pain lately that I even feel like going back to the medical world as at least I felt fitter and more flexible with Physio and Yoga and all that other crap. |
| RageSootheRatio |
Posted - 03/16/2013 : 23:14:52
njoy, personally, I do try to use affirmations I can honestly believe in ... .I like Ace's "I go easy on myself" for example, and I actually like to remind myself of that ... but when all else fails, I like to use "Bob's" (from the very funny movie, "What About Bob?):
"I feel good I feel great I feel wonderful"
In the movie (I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it) Bob (Bill Murray) is chanting that affirmation to himself, walking down a street w/ all kinds of chaos around him, and when he is so obviously NOT feeling good, great or remotely wonderful. He's very funny and chanting that to myself (like Bob does in kind of a desperate monotone) never fails to make me laugh when I say it to myself. RSR |
| njoy |
Posted - 03/16/2013 : 23:04:05
I've never been a big fan of affirmations. Still, lately I've become aware of "something" (can't say what) that signals a descent into depression. It seems obvious this is some form of "stinking thinking", although it isn't conscious. So affirmations might just work in that situation. At the least, they might annoy the thought into surfacing where I could possibly deal with it.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 03/16/2013 : 18:46:33
I have reached the point where I at least notice whenever I have become or am in the process of becoming hyped-up. A lot of times, just shining the light of consciousness on it calms me down right away. At other times, it is more difficult to calm down because I have let it go too far. You know when that has happened because that is when you feel the stress in your body. I know that symptoms can follow from this point. That is where I do the affirmations to unwind the bad emotions. So I could always be better, but I am doing what I need to do. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 03/16/2013 : 17:44:44
Yes plum it does take practice and overcoming mental resistance to doing it. This applies to everyone including myself. |
| njoy |
Posted - 03/16/2013 : 17:42:48
Oh, fine. Fine! I'll do it.
*****
"It's worth considering that tms is not a treatment but rather an unfolding of the self, and a way of living as an emotionally aware and engaged soul." Plum |
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