| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| RikR |
Posted - 03/03/2013 : 06:46:07
To have something to do in my retirement I decided to get back into freelance writing for magazines and newspapers, which I have done years back. In October I attended a writers conference to update my contact skills and met a young man whom I started mentoring.
The longer I have known him the more I found out he has pretty severe TMS symptoms, especially insomnia, bad foot and leg pain and neck/shoulder pain and it is getting worse. I just last night shared the TMS work with him and he is slightly open to the possibility.
What I also found out that he has never really been a published author and has had to pad his resume and blow a lot of smoke at editors and make promises to companies who are going to supply him with products to review (his area is in cooking so he is getting cooking equipment to review).
So he tells the companies supplying products he already has publishers for the articles and gets the free media samples then has to pitch his articles to editors in a highly competitive market (probably less than 1% of articles presented to a magazine or newspaper by a freelancer will get published). He is concerned that the companies that sent him the free stuff will come back on him if he cant get the reviews/articles published.
So last night he did a Freudian slip and told me he is concerned about being found out that he is a fake. So I asked him how he handles this fear.....he said he runs faster...hmmm and your feet are killing you?
I know this man is a very kind person and he wants to do the right thing but he is flat out lying to start his business. He admits to having some guilt but also says he has to do denial to get started as no one gets published without a track record...which is pretty true.
I have seen his work and he is a very good writer and deserves a chance at this career and I understand that it is darn hard to get started.
I think I know this answer but I would really like the veterans opinion: will lying, fear of being found out and guilt cause TMS?? |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| balto |
Posted - 03/04/2013 : 08:19:29
you took on an identity that is not the real you then you forever living in fear of being "discover" as a fraud, that's can not be healthy.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 03/03/2013 : 07:59:21
quote:
Originally posted by RikR
... will lying, fear of being found out and guilt cause TMS??
Only if one has a conscience.
==================================================
DR. SARNO'S 12 DAILY REMINDERS:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0dKBFwGR0g
TAKE THE HOLMES-RAHE STRESS TEST
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holmes_and_Rahe_stress_scale
Some of my favorite excerpts from _THE DIVIDED MIND_ :
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2605
==================================================
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Author Unknown
"Happy People Are Happy Putters." Frank Nobilo, Golf Analyst
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." Mark Twain and Balto
"The hot-dog is the noblest of dogs; it feeds the hand that bites it." Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter
"...the human emotional system was not designed to endure the mental rigors of a tennis match." Dr. Allen Fox
======================================================
"If it ends with "itis" or "algia" or "syndrome" and doctors can't figure out what causes it, then it might be TMS." Dave the Mod =================================================
TMS PRACTITIONERS:
John Sarno, MD
400 E 34th St, New York, NY 10016
(212) 263-6035
Here's the TMS practitioners list from the TMS Help Forum:
http://www.tmshelp.com/links.htm
Here's a list of TMS practitioners from the TMS Wiki:
http://tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist
Here's a map of TMS practitioners from the old Tarpit Yoga site, (click on the map by state for listings).:
http://www.tarpityoga.com/2007_08_01_archive.html |
| gigalos |
Posted - 03/03/2013 : 07:48:14
I am convinced that lying, fear of being found out and guilt cause TMS, because I found out it is a big part of what started TMS with me. In my case it was mainly smoking pot at night and in a later stage even growing it in a closet. I lied about it, was anxious that my family, neighbours or co-workers found out and I felt guilty about it because I felt it had a bad influence on my performance at work.
So glad I am done with that 
It will depend on the person what amount of lying is tolerated. Seems your buddy reached his max some time ago. |
| RikR |
Posted - 03/03/2013 : 07:38:32
Shawn
I like this - especially the first paragraphs...thanks for sharing.
When your true self is crushed early on a false self may be all the crumbs a child can muster. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 03/03/2013 : 07:18:54
The post below is somewhat related to this thread......BTW, yes, Sarno discusses guilt as a huge issue in the generation of TMS. Guilt sends out the message "I should have done this or should not have done that." The word should, of course, is an argument with reality or the isness of what is and this arguing with reality generates a lot of inward strain or tension which in turn can lead to symptoms....
From A New Earth --- by Ekhart Tolle
PATHOLOGICAL FROMS OF EGO
As we have seen, the ego is in its essential nature pathological, if we
use the word in its wider sense to denote dysfunction and suffering. Many
mental disorders consist of the same egoic traits that operate in a normal
person, except that they have become so pronounced that their pathological
nature is now obvious to anyone, except the sufferer.
For example, many normal people tell certain kinds of lies from time
to time in order to appear more important, more special, and to enhance this
image in the mind of others: who they know, what their achievements,
abilities, and possessions are, and whatever else the ego uses to identify
with. Some people, however, driven by the ego's feeling of insufficiency and
its need to have or be “more,” lie habitually and compulsively. Most of what
they tell you about themselves, their story, is a complete fantasy, a fictitious
edifice the ego has designed for itself to feel bigger, more special. Their
grandiose and inflated selfimage can sometimes fool others, but usually not
for long. It is then quickly recognized by most people as a compete fiction.
The mental illness that is called paranoid schizophrenia, or paranoia
for short, is essentially an exaggerated form of ego. It usually consists of a
fictitious story the mind has invented to make sense of a persistent
underlying feeling of fear. The main element of the story is the belief that
certain people (sometimes large numbers or almost everyone) are plotting
against me, or are conspiring to control or kill me. The story often has an
inner consistency and logic so that it sometimes fools others into believing it
too. Sometimes organizations or entire nations have paranoid belief systems
at their very basis. The ego's fear and distrust of other people, its tendency to
emphasize the “otherness” of others by focusing on their perceived faults
and make those faults into their identity, is taken a little further and makes
others into inhuman monsters. The ego needs others, but its dilemma is that
deep down it hates and fears them. JeanPaul Sartre's statement “Hell is
other people” is the voice of the ego. The person suffering from paranoia
experiences that hell most acutely, but everyone in whom the egoic patterns
still operate will feel it to some degree. The stronger the ego in you, the more
likely it is that in your perception other people are the main source of
problems in your life. It is also more than likely that you will make life
difficult for others. But, of course, you won't be able to see that. It is always
others who seem to be doing it to you.
The mental illness we call paranoia also manifests another symptom
that is an element of every ego, although in paranoia it takes on a more
extreme form. The more the sufferer sees himself persecuted, spied on, or
threatened by others, the more pronounced becomes his sense of being the
center of the universe around whom everything revolves, and the more
special and important he feels as the imagined focal point of so many
people's attention. His sense of being a victim, of being wronged by so many
people, makes him feel very special. In the story that forms the basis of his
delusional system, he often assigns to himself the role of both victim and
potential hero who is going to save the world or defeat the forces of evil.
The collective ego of tribes, nations, and religious organizations also
frequently contains a strong element of paranoia: us against the evil others. It
is the cause of much human suffering. Th Spanish Inquisition, the
persecution and burning of heretics and “witches,” the relations between
nations leading up to the First and Second World wars, Communism
throughout its history, the “Cold War,” McCarthyism in America in the
1950's, prolonged violent conflict in the Middle East are all painful episodes
in human history dominated by extreme collective paranoia.
The more unconscious individuals, groups, or nations are, the more
likely it is that egoic pathology will assume the form of physical violence.
Violence is a primitive but still very widespread way in which the ego
attempts to assert itself, to prove itself right and another wrong. With very
unconscious people, arguments can easily lead to physical violence. What is
an argument? Two or more people express their opinions and those opinions
differ. Each person is so identified with the thoughts that make up their
opinion, that those thoughts harden into mental positions which are invested
with a sense of self. In other words: Identity and thought merge. Once this
has happened, when I defend my opinions (thoughts), I feel and act as if I
were defending my very self. Unconsciously, I feel and act as if I were
fighting for survival and so my emotions will reflect this unconscious belief.
they become turbulent. I am upset, angry, defensive, or aggressive. I need to
win at all costs lest I become annihilated. That's the illusion. The ego doesn't
know that mind and mental positions have nothing to do with who you are
because the ego is he unobserved mind itself.
In Zen they say: “Don't seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions.”
What does that mean? Let go of identification with your mind. Who you are
beyond the mind then emerges by itself. |
| RageSootheRatio |
Posted - 03/03/2013 : 07:13:11
>I think I know this answer but I would really like the veterans opinion: will lying, fear of being found out and guilt cause TMS??
I believe it definitely COULD, but depending on what other stressors (or soothers) in one's life, it might not. But given he is already experiencing mind-body symptoms it seems it would be very likely that his FEAR and GUILT would not be helping any.
>He admits to having some guilt but also says he has to do denial to get started as no one gets published without a track record...which is pretty true.
Another solution is that he could start a blog, and showcase his writing there. Bloggers can get products to review and bloggers have been known to get published and get book deals, too. |
| RikR |
Posted - 03/03/2013 : 07:09:55
As I pondered this I know that many of us with low self esteem and were wounded had to create a false persona which is also form of a lie.
I did in high school as we were very poor and I even walked to a bus stop a mile away so no one would see where I lived.
What do you think of living a false persona lie and TMS? |
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