| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| GayleG |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 01:56:22
Greetings, everyone.
My name is Gayle and this is my first post. I've started reading HBP and many posts on this forum. I am already learning a lot, but obviously know very little. I would like to introduce myself and my current situation and then ask a question. I hope that's okay.
I am 52 years old, happily married for 32 years, with two sons (24 & 21) and a new grandson. Before I had my children I was an elementary school teacher, but haven't worked outside our home for money since then.
Almost two weeks ago I started having pains in my butt muscles and my left leg, plus my left leg and foot started tingling. There is no physical cause that I could determine (no injury or accident lately). I had been painting our home in the week before the pain started, but the labor was not that intensive.
I went to a primary care doctor and he guessed a pinched nerve. He ordered x-rays and, based on those, I was referred for an MRI. I actually got two MRIs on Tuesday night (lumbar and thoracic) and was told today by a nurse that I have two bulging discs.
Now on to the area of my question: I believe what Dr. Sarno says about the causes of this type of pain. I have been under a lot of stress for several years now (much more than normal for me) and I realize that could obviously cause some physical reactions/pain.
However, I am entertaining the possibility that there might be another cause. A little earlier tonight I was playing my favorite computer game (Cubis). I thought about the fact that I am very tense (physically and mentally) when I play this game. I've been playing it for a few months now and, since it is so addictive to me, I usually play it for several hours at a time. (I get all that extra time by cheating myself out of a good night's sleep.) It occurred to me that perhaps all this tension for so many hours at a time for so many months just might have caused the bulging discs and/or sudden onset of pinched nerve-type pain.
I did a search on the forum for "computer games" but didn't see anything related to this possibility. I thought I'd ask for feedback. So, does anyone think this type of behavior could cause TMS?
Thank you for listening.
Gayle G |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| GayleG |
Posted - 03/26/2005 : 01:31:23
Thank you for your encouragement and your ideas, Sandy and Verdammt. I do appreciate them and the time you took to respond.
Gayle
|
| verdammt |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 18:54:34
quote:
Originally posted by GayleG
I am 52 years old, happily married for 32 years, with two sons (24 & 21) and a new grandson.
Well, Gayle, Dr. Sarno would probably chalk it up to unconscious rage. You have a new grandson. "Gain of a new family member" ranks #14 on the Holmes-Rahe list of stressful life events (see Mindbody Prescription, pages 26-27).
It's a wonderful event, but remember, the unconscious mind is unreasonable and selfish, so it probably resents the new demands a grandchild has brought into your life. You might also resent the fact that your son has officially made you a grandmother. We've all been conditioned to think grandparents are old. Don't believe it. 52 IS NOT OLD! (I'm not far behind you, so I KNOW!) |
| ssjs |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 15:28:41
My opinion...If you have been through all of these things in your life, it never hurts to see a good therapist (one that you click with) and instead of going over and over the past, deal with how you want your future.
You do not want your main lifes occupation to be playing computer games! I would be pretty angry at myself for wasting my time like that! Although I do think a little computer is ok!
Actually, I think it would give me a bad back to know that I was spending so much time doing something that wouldn't get me ahead!
I keep going on and off to my therapist, and last time I started, she told me if I continued,I would be happier and start making more money because of my attitude and the way I delt with life.
Well due to not feeling helpless anymore with my new business, that has all happened!
Just from an adjusted attitude!
I know you can do it!
Sandy |
| GayleG |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 10:50:20
Thank you all for your feedback. I appreciate it!
I guess I didn't make myself clear at all. Or perhaps I just don't understand TMS at all yet.
What I was trying to ask was this: Since tension/stress can lead to TMS (and eventually some pain somewhere) is it possible that the constant muscular, mental and even emotional tension from playing Cubis (sometimes for hours at a time) could lead to TMS? The muscles in my body are quite tense until I finish a level. When the level is complete I relax my muscles which is when I notice how tense I've been. (I've never noticed this with any other computer game I've played.) Does this make sense? Or do I have the whole TMS concept cock-eyed? Is muscle tenseness not included in the type of tension Dr. Sarno is talking about? Is it only emotional or mental tension/stress that leads to TMS?
I don't feel pain when I'm playing the games (or reading or watching TV or doing any other sitting down thing) unless I cough, sneeze or stretch too far for something. But then, I don't feel the pain all the time when I'm up, either; just when I do the above. The only thing that is constant is the tingling in my left leg. It's the constant tension thing that I was referring to.
I do realize that my bulging discs (which may have been bulging for many years, anyway) are not causing my muscle pains.
I have also recognized for a long time that spending that much time on computer games (or TV) is my way of escaping/self-medicating/denying/numbing the pain, etc. I used to use food to do that (my whole life). However, since October I have been eating well and properly which took away my main "drug." I do not think playing the games is healthy for me at all. It's just something I shifted to. Gotta have my "drugs", ya know. <wink>
Regarding the suggestion for therapy, I was in therapy off and on for 20 years. I was abused as a child by many people (sexually, physically, and (the worst) emotionally. I turned it all inward, and I still do. I still struggle with feelings of worthlessness. I know how to deal with this and have done so successfully many times, but it doesn't last for long and I start feeling hopeless again. In the end, it is less painful to stuff the pain than deal with it. I'm not saying it's better to do this, just something I do when I get tired of trying to deal with the whole thing.
Maybe this onset of pain is what I need to finally get motivated to deal with my emotions instead of stuffing them. At least, I hope it is.
One other question: is seeing a TMS doctor something that requires frequent visits for quite awhile? The closest doctors to me are in Los Angeles, which is over 100 miles away. Each visit would be an all day thing considering mongo traffic. It hardly seems reasonable to consider it, but I thought I'd ask anyway.
Gayle |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 09:57:13
It could well be TMS. You have had recent stress, some sleep disturbance, possibly using the computer game as a distraction from "the problem", (my tennis serves that purpose for me). If you can find a TMS doctor to confirm it for you, it will help you overcome the negative stuctural bulging disc diganosis, speed your recovery and confirm your belief in the TMS stategy for future bouts with it.
The list of TMS doctors are on the LINKS at the HOME page. Also another site www.tarpityoga.com has a good list of TMS doctors and therapists.
Good Luck,
|
| elise8 |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 07:44:33
I sit at the computer for 9 hours per day doing my job and I was convinced it was causing my back pain many years ago. So much so I almost quit my job and was off work for months. Of course after reading Sarno's books I knew it was not the sitting and after a while my back pain cleared up with some exacerbations now and then. Now sitting never causes back pain. I have a very tense job in the medical records field and I would constantly find myself tensing up when I worked, holding my breath and tightening my muscles. This is so TMS-like. After it finally really sunk in that it was TMS, the pain subsided and I could sit all day long without pain. But it took many episodes of having pain while I was sitting and screaming at my brain that it was just TMS. I did this over and over until finally my brain was convinced and the pain stopped. I am the typical TMS personality type.
I was told I had 3 disk protrusions, and a couple bulging disks and that my spine was a mess with DJD, possible stenosis, lumbago, etc. This diagnosed through x-rays and two MRIs. It also took a while for me to get over this "diagnosis" which can settle deep in your mind if you let it. Just know that it is not the bulging disks that are causing your pain, it is more likely the tense actions of your muscles causing slight oxygen deprivation, hense the pain. Just knowing this and believing it should alleivate your pain. Just be careful though, other pains may pop up elsewhere!!
Elise
Elise8 |
| Dave |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 07:43:25
quote:
Originally posted by GayleG
I did a search on the forum for "computer games" but didn't see anything related to this possibility.
You won't, because it's nonsense.
When you're playing the game, do you actually notice the pain? I'd be willing to bet that you don't, because the game itself provides a distraction.
Read Dr. Sarno's book. You say that "you have been under a lot of stress" but the stress you know about is only the tip of the iceberg. It's the stuff underneath that you have to try to figure out. |
| robbokop |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 06:16:29
Hello and welcome.
I sit at the piano for hours - I too thought it was the reason for my tension and pain. Sitting fairly static in a solo 2 hour gig - the 'professionals' advised me this had caused my RSI. They were wrong though - it was my deep dark horrible fears and low self esteem that actually caused it.
Cheers,
Robbokop |
| ssjs |
Posted - 03/25/2005 : 05:48:28
It's not the bulging discs that are causing your pain!
Think about why you spend so much time on the computer and away from real life. There are many other enriching things you could be doing, or time you could be spending with people, and/or time with the actual thoughts in your head, rather than spending hours trying to distract yourself.
When I thought my life was great, I found out it wasn't. Did I have to swap that old life for another? No. I just had to deal with the idea that it WASN't perfect...or even close.
I think that once you do that, you either change things in your life...which can be very hard, OR you understand your feelings about what you have, which can be equally as hard.
Personally I needed a bit of therapy to really get to my thoughts.
Then the pain goes away...and your life suddenly gets richer.
Sandy |
|
|
