| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 17:20:19
I have not been posting for a week or so because I have been too busy trying to convince people on the Fibromyalgia forum that what they really have is TMS. I think I actually got through to some. At least they haven't thrown me off the forum yet. Of course, there are those who wear their fibromyalgia diagnosis like a badge, they worked for and earned their incurable illness and it was designed especially for them, and "nobody is going to take it away from me". I say let them have it.
Ace is right again, at least where I am concerned. It is often best to stick with one approach if it is working for us. I should have just stuck with the Keys for now. I always seem to manage to get way ahead of myself. I still think I am 90% cured and still have NO pain. However, I am still having a lot of trouble sleeping. The Keys were working marvelously well for me and still are, for I still practice them every day. But then, I began reading some more books that I think got me slightly confused. I decided way too soon to go off my low dose sleep meds (they are so low that I have to cut the pills). Anyway, I have gone through such withdrawal and often don't fall asleep until 4 or 5 in the morning when I don't take anything. The lack of sleep has got my central nervous system revved up again and I am finding myself getting angry a lot. When I get a restful night's sleep, I can stay calm, but when I feel really tired because of lack of sleep, it is much harder to keep from becoming identified with negative thoughts and feelings and behaving in a hyperactive fashion. I think I am going to go back on the meds for now and continue with my recovery. Maybe when I feel stronger in my recovery, I will have more confidence to get off the meds. I am trying to figure out if the sleep issue is part of the TMS strategy (it certainly has my attention),or just because of the enormous changes I have made in my thinking and behaving in the past 2 months. I have had insomnia as long as I can remember, back to at least 2 years old I remember not being able to get to sleep and being afraid of the dark. I just wondered what people think I should do. |
| 13 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/25/2013 : 12:48:03
Brilliant!! Everyone
Ace, YES, this my impatience at work here. I have only been working on my healing for 2 months and it will take much longer if it is to be a complete cure this time. (Although I realize that in a sense we have it for a lifetime). I am going to step up my reading and applying the Keys during the day to prepare myself better for nighttime when I am more vulnerable.
Andy, I really enjoyed your post. Exercising is a really good idea when I can't sleep and I love to do it. I could even generate some low level soreness. That would really get me out of my mind. I am even thinking about going outside to listen to the ocean, if it won't wake up my husband. I will also try your breathing technique when I get back to bed. It is nice being retired. I was sort of forced into it young, at 54, because my husband is older, and I guess I did not like it at first, but now I am appreciating it more.
TT - I read that article too. It was very good. I don't mind at all having my sleep broken up as long as I can get enough. I judge "getting enough" not by how many hours, but by feeling refreshed in the morning.
Thanks everyone, this gives me some things to work on. |
| andy64tms |
Posted - 02/25/2013 : 12:04:03
Hi Chickenbone,
It’s awful isn’t it, just laying there in the dark while your spouse just chugs away the Zees, and our cat often joins in this activity, adding to my dilemor.
I find my mind just goes over and over the same scenario, mindless chatter, it’s usually ineffective worrying about some issue and my mind wonders, seemingly seeking other things to worry about. The sad thing is that hours sometime go by before I realize this is happening.
For me trying to get to sleep is then pointless and impossible, so I tell myself as the others are suggesting that this is unimportant, and then I spring into action. I have called it “Changing my Mode”, and have over the years predetermined several activities to switch my focus away from the chatter.
Here are some of the things I do:
I go down stairs, naked to purposefully get cold, changing my body’s subject from that of warm cozy bedding to the mode of being chilly.
I do ten minutes of Yoga or stretching on a mat, I find stretching muscles make my brain focus my from your brain storm, and the breathing is relaxing.
More recently since I have been working out I lift weights for 5 - 10 minutes. There is nothing like mildly stinging muscles to change focus.
Often I have a bowl of cereal, (Raisin Bran), and I exaggerate the crunch to a musical tune. On each crunch is a good time for one of Ace’s affirmations, but you could affirm to yourself. “I am happy to be eating cereals at 3.0 o’clock in the morning, who needs sleep anyway?” I am now in control and have changed my mode completely to one of self indulgence and satisfaction.
I play FreeCell, Solitaire, read a few pages for five minutes. Read a few post on the Forum, anything to stop the brain storm going on!
There are no limits and nothing could be considered silly. I once rolled around naked on a wet lawn, so be creative here. In a way the sillier the better, because you are affirming that sleep loss is unimportant and you don’t care about it.
When returning to bed? I previously posted a getting to sleep trick that sometimes works for me, here it is the link:
http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=7788
Sometimes these tricks don’t work first time, I’ve even been up four or five times in the night, but for me the main thing changing my mind and mode is better than just lying there.
Hope this helps
Andy
Past TMS Experience in 2000, with success.
Stopped Wiki Edu Program in lieu of own journalling
Charlie Horse on neck for 20 years, is almost gone.
Books:
Healing Back Pain
Unlearn your Pain
The Great Pain Deception |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 02/25/2013 : 10:39:26
Well CB, you just havent given it enough time. As long as you are doing the mindpower and following what I have on the keys, the results will happen usually on a months/years time span gradually. Like I said after a few months you reassess and ask am I over all better. If not, see where you may be going wrong, but if you are continuing the mind power techniques they should continue to help. You have to have relaxation as part of your affirmation, maybe say -Im calm and relaxed and I fall asleep easily. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/25/2013 : 09:59:47
Balto, you may be correct also, but I just am not sure. I do think that I worry too much about sleep. I am trying to deal with the sleep issue the way I successfully dealt with the pain issue. Here is my problem: When I had pain during the day, I would not let itdistract me from my normal life activities, including exercise. I also did not fight with the symptoms or think too much about them, just notice them. This was very hard at first, but as I got better and better at is, I started nocing that the bothered me less and less. One day I noticed that it was gone. In the middle of the night,however, when I am not sleeping, there is not much to distract my attention, so I tend to stay more focused on the "not sleeping", plus the fact that I am usually too tired to enjoy reading or some crafts I have been doing. I can't watch television because it will wake up my husband. So I am much more captive to the symptoms than with the pain. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/25/2013 : 07:18:30
In reply to Shawn and Ace's errors:
I do use the affirmations pretty constantly. I have one that I use before sleep. "I am perfectly safe and I can sleep" I sometimes repeat this for hours to crowd out other worrisome or negative thoughts. It ia slow, but I think it is working. I have a vague notion that my sleeplessness is related to safety issues, like root chakra issues.
I do have a problem with patience and always have. But I am monitoring myself for signs of this and noticing it, but probably not all the time. I need to do better here.
The biggie here is that I have become EXTREMELY sensitized to the situation of trying to fall asleep, not being able to, getting extremely bored and frustrated just lying there and fighting with the symptoms. This is probably the key that I am missing. This is so difficult because I don't know if I should just stay in bed or get up and do something. If I get up, I am so tired that I can't do much of anything. I feel extremely vulnerable at these times. I would like to hear what Ace thinks about this. I tried visualizing myself sleeping well, but I haven't had much luck. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/25/2013 : 06:57:19
Pspa, thanks for your comment. I also read Dr. Hanscom's book and thought it was great. This is the book, along with Dr. Alexander's book that got me to completely believe that I had TMS. However, what Dr. Hanscom says about sleep and chronic pain does not apply to me. Here's why. Most people can't sleep because of the pain and that is why they need to take sleep aids. What happens with me is that, when I had the chronic pain, I COULD sleep well. The pain, if I even had it at night, never bothered me. So I could almost say that I NEEDED the pain during the day to make me tired. There are only 2 things that make me tired - extreme physical exercise during the day or pain. Otherwise, my mind is somewhat manic. The sicker I got with TMS, the better I slept. Now that I feel great (except for not enough sleep), I am having a lot of trouble sleeping. And I can quiet my mind - I have good control there, but I just don't nod off. It is really weird.
One of the good Psychologists on the forum said that often the abused child that develops the "flight" pattern later in life becomes hyperactive, that is often mistaken for ADHD and bipolar disorder. I think this may apply to me because, although I do not have either, I have at some time in the past, been diagnosed with both. |
| Ace1 |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 19:59:19
Shawn as your TMS fades, you should be able to sleep longer. I would like you to get up to at least 7 hrs. No rush now, it'll happen naturally. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 19:21:36
Chickenbone,
Just in case you missed it, Ace has listed some of the biggest errors in using his methods. They are the following, as written by him:
Some of the biggest errors in using this method
The first is not using the affirmations like I describe. Using them as best as you can repeatably EVERY time your having symptoms or psychologically bothered and around sleep. Its good to think of the words, but just saying them mindlessly also works. We sometimes feel we can accomplish the goal of relaxation by just "relaxing" which in my experience, although maybe helpful, is never sufficient. I would NOT have recovered if I did not do this, even if I did everything else on my list. Sometime it feels "boring, or its not important." It is the most important. Sometime because we don't get the immediate result you think "this doesn't work", but it does, only over time though. This is #1 error.
The second is impatience. We think we that we should be able to heal quick. I don't understand this logic especially since it took years to get to the state you are currently at. Actually if I see you tell me you are cured in a couple months, I am very, very suspicious that you only had a placebo cure, which is very, very common among people who treat themselves with the TMS mode of treatment. I see that if someone doesn't get a result in 3 weeks they are searching all over to try and see if there is anything else that will cure them and this never works. You may say well, how would I know if what your saying is right? How do i know Im on the right track? Well, the only way to see this is to at least give it 3 months, and ask yourself - Am I in anyway(in the big picture) better or the same? If the answer is slightly better, than your doing it right, if not then there maybe something you're missing. I actually think those keys I wrote can help everyone, but it definitely takes a lot of time.
Another one is not recognizing that you have an urge to be doing something else or rush. It is very helpful to see this to change it. One more is letting the pain condition or sensitize you more to a situation. Challenging (fighting) a symptom is also a big mistake.
The best summary is that you have basically conditioned yourself to be sensitized to various situations, thoughts and to certain people by repeatedly straining to them (acting intense, outside of what your body is capable of doing). You might be sensitized to everything. You also have now formed habits of strain that perpetuate the sensitization that are with you all day. The biggest most universal one in TMS is the habit of the urge to rush or impatience (to be faster than you can be). To sit through life especially if you have pain and don't run away, but now act at ease. Use affirmations to help you achieve this state. Use the affirmations through your day. The affirmations also help to change some bad beliefs about yourself. Do not use the affirmations in a rushed, intense way as this will defeat their purpose. They are tools to help you achieve your goal of relaxation. Any tool in life can be used in the wrong way. Sometimes just sitting still is helpful, sit and just let go as if there were no worries. All this will not get rid of you pain right away, but in essence you are reconditioning yourself, you are doing the opposite to what lead you into pain. You are not letting the pain sensitize you too. If you strain more(become more hyped up or become more intense) because of the pain in a particular situation that causes pain, of course that will make you more conditioned to that situation next time.
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 18:39:08
Yes Balto, we don't need as much sleep as the the so called experts say. I am fine with 4 hours a night, and have been so for years. The rest is unnecessary, for me anyway. |
| balto |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 18:35:25
quote:
Originally posted by chickenbone
I am trying to figure out if the sleep issue is part of the TMS strategy (it certainly has my attention),or just because of the enormous changes I have made in my thinking and behaving in the past 2 months. I have had insomnia as long as I can remember, back to at least 2 years old I remember not being able to get to sleep and being afraid of the dark. I just wondered what people think I should do.
CB, I got rid of my insomnia when I decided that I don't really need to sleep. Sleep is over rated, sleep is boring,...
When sleep no longer is important to me, that's when my body just "sleep" peacefully.
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No, I don't know everything. I'm just here to share my experience. |
| pspa123 |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 18:22:43
Not to mention another book but in Back in Control David Hanscom says recovery is not possible without adequate sleep. There is some logic to that. |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 17:43:38
Thanks, Shawn, your kind words were were very comforting. I do need to stick with the approach that is working and not get ahead of myself. For now, I will stay off the other forums.
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| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/24/2013 : 17:36:52
Hi chickenbone,
Don't be too hard on yourself as you are only human like the rest of us. Your role at this point in time is not to convince others of anything, but to get well. Ace's tools, and his recommend reading list, has helped you to get this far, but it will still take some time. Be patient and stick with the program and don't get distracted by other books and theories as you will become overwhelmed and confused. I personally, in this stage of my journey, read almost nothing about TMS other than the interesting comments on this message board. Continue to do the affirmations, especially at bed time, such as "I will sleep restfully and peacefully tonight."
People here will support you when you fall into doubt and discouragement, so for the meantime this is where you belong. |
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