| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| plum |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 02:15:54
14. One of the biggest sources of tension and strain is being in a rush or wanting to be somewhere other than where you are right now. Another way to look at this is one is always projecting themselves into the future.
You for example may want to get to work so intensely, that anything that gets in your way will cause a conflict and thus pain, be aware of this and work on this. I also believe that the symptoms intensify the need to be in a rush because when someone is in pain or uncomfortable, they just want to get tasks of daily living just "over with".
I think this somehow intensifies the strain and illness and makes it present almost all day, with every task present in life. When someone has symptoms and they can't figure out what's bothering them, a lot of times it is the need to be in a rush or to escape or to just want to get a task just out of the way.
Another one is the feeling that one should be doing something more productive than what they are doing right now. See if you can recognize these feelings when they happen and try to resolve them along with the use of the affirmations. Recognizing these feelings when doing the mind power techniques is VERY helpful. |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| chickenbone |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 11:27:04
This key is probably one of my biggest stumbling blocks. I have made progress and I am thankful for that. Prior to this, I was always looking forward to where I would be when I finally finished the present task. However, I was no happier when I got there. Just more of the same. Staying in the present moment and completely focusing on the task I am doing now, I must admit, has been hard for me. In the recent past, I always wanted to be somewhere other than where I was.
Like you, Cath, I do a lot of the shopping and cooking. I really hated this when I first retired. Now I try to instill a lot of care and concern into these tasks of "everyday living". I retired early because my husband, who is 10 years older, wanted and needed to retire. I resented it for a long time. |
| plum |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 08:56:49
Cath,
Bless you for such a touching response. I read my post back and it didn't read right and then I got into a pickle trying to change it and meantime you responded. Thankyou for bypassing my stumbling.
Your poor little dog, I hope he(?) recovers soon. Our pets are so dear. I really, really want a dog again but we can't have one where we live.
Amen to the need for a holiday. We keep speaking about one and then I think *bikini* and a whole new kinda panic hits. And god created kaftans... |
| Cath |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 07:09:57
Plum - again thank you for your eloquent words.
I know looking after my home, husband and little dog doesn't compare to the situation you and "your boy" find yourself in, and when I think about what thoughts must run through your head on a daily basis, I feel humbled that you have compared us. Your compassion shines through every word you write, and you are helping so many of us here on the forum to heal.
Shawn - I am trying so hard to live "in the moment", and I suppose I have always been a bit of a dreamer, so do find it difficult to get a hold on reality. My husband usually drags me down to earth with a bump, or he tries to. It is hard not to keep any eye on the future, because for now, I can't change anything. I believe Ace brings this point up later; that the people who can change their circumstances usually heal quicker than the ones who can only remain static for the time being.
I do like my home to be clean and tidy, and because I have taken care of the chores during the week, weekends are less frantic than they were when my husband and I were both working full-time. He does appreciate what I do. Our little dog is sick a lot of the time, and we haven't had a holiday for the last 4 years, so yes, everyday has been the same. But I will work on being more mindful, and hopefully find that elusive peacefulness that I need to heal fully.
Love Cath
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| plum |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 05:49:13
So true Shawn.
Besides which, the moment broadens and deepens when we give her our full attention and all our love. |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 05:45:37
The reality is that we can only do one thing at a time, but our minds want us to do many things at once. Furthermore, our minds continually either reflect on the past -- filling us with guilt or remorse -- or project unto the future -- filling is with anxiety and worry -- but resists dwelling in the present moment and being at peace with that. To put it another way, we are here now -- in this present moment -- but our minds are off somewhere else and is continually trying to drag us along. This, I believe, is a great source of inner tension and, as ACE1 stated, "intensifies the strain and illness and makes it present almost all day."
But the truth of the matter is, we can only be at one place at a time no matter how much we desire to be somewhere else. When we say that we wish to be elsewhere or to be doing something else then, in essence, we are arguing with reality. And when we argue with reality we lose, but only 100% of the time.
Notice the use of the word "should" in ACE1's key. "Should" is a fantasy. It is a word or a concept which argues with reality. There is, in fact, no should. There is only what is. How do I know I should be doing something right now? I am doing it. That's the reality. |
| plum |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 05:43:12
I have to say, I believe this key identifies a major contributing factor to the state I'm in. I recognised it a while ago and have done much to counter it. It's been quite a challenge. |
| plum |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 05:09:53
Cath,
I completely understand. Our situations are fairly similar but for the fact that I look after my boy rather than a dog, and he's no trouble. We spend virtually all our time together so I know well how valuable those alone hours are.
I went through a protracted phase of deeply resenting the domestic chores. Everyday the same, day in, day out. Then I softened when I realised how much my hubby benefited from the care and slowly the household burden blossomed into something more deeply embraced by nourishing awareness. I now find that if I approach each task mindfully there is an inherent grace.
It rests very much on creating a healing space and sanctuary. In my mind I imagine myself to be a temple priestess and when all is clean and tidy, I light votives, incense and oils.
I can't say I don't falter but less and less these days. Of course I have dreams for my life beyond this but this where I am now and for now I am at peace with it.
Much love. |
| Cath |
Posted - 02/04/2013 : 04:52:50
This again, is a big one for me. A few years ago I gave up paid work. It was a very stressful time in my life, and I just needed a break. Luckily for me, my husband and I manage very well financially on just one wage. Just 9 months later, my pain began.
So now, you could say that my job is to clean the house, do the shopping, cook the meals, and look after our dog, plus I have a few hours a day to myself. This should be the best time of my life, and I find myself in chronic pain. I rush through my tedious chores every day to have those precious hours to myself, and then find myself feeling guilty if I spend an afternoon reading, or "not doing something more productive". This is something I really need to work on. |
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